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How much sex a week is actually normal in a relationship? I'm

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How much sex a week is actually normal in a relationship?

I'm currently with my second bf ever that I love and he also has a great dick. The thing is, for some reason when he's stressed out by IRL shit he doesn't want to sleep with me.
I try it all, I dress more sexily, kiss his neck, hell even outright grab his dick. But he just shoves me away.
The bf I had before, was never all that sexually satisfying, but even at the end of our almost two year relationship we had sex almost everyday, and often even multiple times a day. And overall we were way more cuddly, passionate and touching.

Now, although I cum lots of times IF he is DTF unlike in the relationship before, I don't feel truly satisfied. I have huge self-esteem issues and kind of need to know that I'm indeed attractive and pretty etc. At the beginning everything was great, and I even fulfill some of his deviant fetishes. But now, after 10 months of being together it's just once a week! And even then it's not even PiV but he just fingers me, he kind of gives off the vibe he's just doing it as a chore.

I really don't know. I'm pretty sure he doesn't cheat on me, because he's just not the kind of person to do that but still I'm so confused. I didn't really gain weight or anything.

Maybe I should add, he has a rather dominant role in bed. While this does turn me on, I can't help but notice that I feel a little bit too objectified during sex sometimes. I can't really recall when we slept with each other and were really cuddly and passionate. Like telling the other that you love them, looking deeply in the eyes etc.

How to deal with this? Am I just the weird one? ;__;
I just really want that D
>>
You could try talking to him about the irl stuff that's bothering him with a caring and understanding tone. That would help build trust between you two.

It's probably not you, when I'm stressed about something, sex is the last thing on my mind. I just want to fix the issue at hand.
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>>18110172

There's no normal. Every couple will have their own amount of sex, you know? If you want more, you should talk it over with him. But he can say he is not gonna do it, though.
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>>18110182
I did and I was just told that it's IRL stress and I should leave him alone.
Financial trouble to be exact. That we can't do much about currently, because he's unemployed and his Uni semester starts just this summer and I get minimum wage.

But in the end of the day we both get food on the table - hell I cook for him all the time too - and a roof over our heads.
I don't get it why not use your partner as a way to relax then?
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> I have huge self-esteem issues and kind of need to know that I'm indeed attractive and pretty
>kind of need to know

no wonder it's a chore
maybe you're bad at sex/don't turn him on anymore
after 10 months it's harder to get excited about sex, especially if your gf is a dead fish in bed; a submissive person who expects you to do all the moving
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>>18110172
Some people don't want to fuck when they're stressed. There's nothing you can do.
A lot of women, especially, are like this - emotional issues and stress make them less passionate and DTF.

Anyway, talk to him.
And let him chase you - don't initiate sex, don't do anything. Some guys like the chase, and if you initiate too much they'll be turned off.
>>
Did you imply living together?

His unemployment is going to cause this. I'm in a similar situation as the male with low sex drive because of depression and lack of direction in life.

Leave him alone, work to earn more money and take the financial stress off.

Also lose some weight and watch porn with him
>>
Try to talk to him about his shit, and comfort his worries. Then he'll get his fuck on
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We have sex a few times a year but we've been together for a few years so I guess it can't be helped
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>>18110244
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 years and still fuck 3-4 times a week.
It is not normal to stop fucking after a few years.
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>>18110246
I prefer fapping to 2D

When we first started going out having a real girl to fuck was a curiosity but that wore off quickly
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>>18110202
Not really live together, but like 20 minutes by car apart. So when I can, I tend to spend lots of times at his place. Around a week or so when I can.

Also I even watched porn with him two times already, sadly he's into stuff that I don't really enjoy at all. Like degredation and extreme facial abuse.
I can't do that at all, and have instant gag reflex if it gets in my throat.
Still I watched it, tried to hide any disgust just to do anything to keep him interested in me. Welp.

Oh and talking about porn- he seems to enjoy when girls dress extremely slutty. And on other occasion called my clothing style "bland". In my opinion I dress normal, a bit more modest than the usual maybe. Is this just a porn thing or normal?

If you think it's just the employment thing, will it resolve in summer when we both are fulltime busy?

I try to leave him alone. Right now I'm back at my place, trying to keep things lowkey. But he just doesn't text me, so I waited two days and just said goodmorning blabla.
I have to admit I'm kind of an attentionwhore and I'd love it to have a clingy partner.

Is the sex thing and the attention thing way too bad reasons to ask for a break? I don't know anymore. I just know that I want to feel loved more. I know I have lots of issues, so I appreciate honesty.

>>18110246
I envy you a bit. Holy fuck, goals.
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>>18110195
wow rude
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>>18110257
Pigs and dogs have sex a lot but do you envy them?

Frequency isn't important
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>>18110280
I would if they had relationships that lasted over years while not losing any of the intimacy that's shared at the wonderful start of a new love.
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>>18110288
It's just animals being horny

Spare me the emotional bs
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how long have you been together?
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>>18110333
Around 10 months now.
>>
Maybe he has issues with porn. Too much porn can affect sex drive and his arousal. That and stress could be affecting his want for you
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>>18110172
Well, wanting some affection from him beyond sex is natural. That isn't weird.
Though one a week is pretty normal for most folks, anon. So you have a pretty high libido. Maybe masturbate more often? Go get some toys to enhance the experience.

Stress and lack of purpose will suck the enjoyment right out of life. Support him, help him get into a job that leaves him satisfied or proud of his work. Even if it isn't his ideal career a job well done in a position where you can really notice that your work is changing something can make you feel accomplished. It will improve his mood and make him more open to sexy times.

>>18110257
>calls your clothing bland
Don't let someone change your style to suit their fantasies. More importantly, it isn't cool of him to insult your choice of clothing. Your partner shouldn't do hair like that.

Additionally, sit down and talk about how you feel. Let him know your needs and what interests you sexually. Remember to empathize with him. Let him know his increased stress hasn't gone unnoticed and that someone, namely you, cares for him.
>>
>>18110273
Although it is true that he could have phrased it better, he is actually on to something (busy with my 2 year relationship and there started to be issues about a year in), being dominant is a lot of work in terms of physical requirements and it does lose its flavor after a while (try to move along with him and to take his lead or just try forcing him (not raping) into it and either let him go with it or take control again).

I would recommend trying to help him along and to try to get in his mindset (grabbing a guys dick randomly is actually rather unnerving, but just for example getting close and lightly biting him and holding him down, might help him get out of his frame of mind and move on closer)

One last thing, this is a classic catch 22 situation, but if it is a performance issue, then pointing it out will make it worse, try to make it clear to him that you should be fine either way, but you just need to be close to him and you are there to support him if he needs it.
>>
>>18110194
>I work at minimum wage
>I cook
>I always have food on the table
>We live under a roof

Sounds like emasculation to me
>>
>>18110427
then the faggot should man up and get a job. ffs, she's not holding him back
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>>18110172
>How much sex a week is actually normal in a relationship?
As much as you want. Had a previous relationship where the gf was being restrictive about sex, so I rolled on a dice when I would suddenly break up with her and crush her heart because of this, and it felt really good, because not just I can have sex as much as I want with the current gf, but she actually went on the 'hurt myself' path and is suffering.
>>
My boyfriend and I have sex once a month. He just faps to porn too much but he tells me it's because we don't live together, which is bs. We are together from the time we get off work until bedtime so...I've basically given up and I don't really see a future with him anymore. It breaks my heart to inevitably break up over sex but it's kind of gross to be with a limp dick. We've been together for 3 years and no amount of communication has helped this situation.


Op sexual incompatibility is a thing. I've learned the hard way.
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>>18110172
Sounds like my relationship. I want sex 10 times a day, gf wants it 0 times a day. So we compromised and have sex 0 times a day.
>>
Until the problem is fixed expect less to no sex. He's stressed and stress is a major turn off for us guys. At least for me and others I know. We can't get revved if we're running circles in our head about a fucked up situation.
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>>18111022
You're not alone anon. Iktf all too well.
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>>18110434
When did it start to be like this?
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>>18111022
Time for a serious talk or breaking up.
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>>18110172
There is no normal, it's just the healthy amount that is a compromise between both persons needs.
I've been with the same person over 15 years, and we're still gettin some 2-4 times per week, depending. I don't really have a sex drive at all, but my partner needs it,and always is generous enough to get me in the mood, and leave me satisfied after.

If someone isn't happy, then the relationship is in trouble. Some people need it once a month, some could do it twice a day. Like everything else in a relationship, it's all about a compromise everyone can live with.
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>>18110434
Just because you're so horny doesn't mean he's gross
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>>18112118
He's always masturbated over sex. We had regular sex maybe for the first 3 months of getting together and that's it.

>>18112434
I think guys who over masturbate to the point of not getting hard during foreplay are gross. Sorry.
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>>18112921
If he's gross, I can only imagine how ugly and shitty you are since he can't even get it up for you. You're in for a few surprises in the future about where you stand, looks wise.
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>>18110172
holy fuck OP anon was the advice you got over on the other forum not good enough for you? I feel like you're cheating on me
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>>18110172
Oh man, your boyfriend is me. I would much rather masturbate... It's EASY!
I have to take top every time and she lays there like a tranquilized mattress. If I force her to top, she can't do it for longer than 2 minutes without her legs hurting or whatever excuse she tries to pull. She also wants to have passionate slow cuddly sex, and it takes me way too long to cum when doing that. I'd rather just go fast and get it done and then use the hitachi on her, but that won't satisfy her emotional needs... It's a pain in my ass
/end_rant
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>literally african tier starving
>top worry is about lack of sex

ill say no more
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>>18112921
I really wish my girlfriend would get the hint like you have. I intentionally over-masturbate, so that I can stay limp when she tries to get sexual.
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>>18112957
Why not simply break up?
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>>18113025
We've been together for about 7 years. Her car is in my name. And I want her computers, since I paid for them. Many of my belongings she is going to want, too... Deciding who gets what and the arguments that entail would be much more work than actually fucking her.
>>
As others have said, there isn't a "normal", but sexual incompatibility is a thing. I've been with my boyfriend for five years, and it sort of comes and goes. Some weeks, we're having sex at least once a day, sometimes two or three. Others, we're lucky if we have sex maybe three times. It's some combination of stress, timing, and being comfortable enough with each other.

If you're concerned about sex because you want validation more than shared pleasure, work on your own self-esteem. That shit shows and is really unattractive. But there's a chance you two just want different things from a sexual relationship. Or, from the sounds of it, a relationship in general. If you're not happy with someone who won't text you unless you text him first after a couple days without contact, even though you've been together for almost a year, you might just need to find someone who's more emotionally attentive. It doesn't make you clingy or needy (unless you're going overboard with it and asking for a ridiculous amount of his time or attention), and it doesn't make him an inattentive asshole (unless he's totally ignoring you); it just means you need different things, and that's fine. Ten months is a good time frame to recognize that, desu. If things don't get better soon and you're still feeling frustrated and unsatisfied, I'd say end it.
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Guy here... I find it extremely frustrating that women have been fed this "men want to have sex 24/7 and want to put their dick in any hole that's available and they can create erections on demand and if they don't it means something is wrong with them" thing.

Don't get me wrong OP, it sounds like your boyfriend is masturbating to way too hardcore shit all the time, and needs to cut that out to be a little more sexually active, but expecting him to be at the ready to ravish you all the time just isn't realistic for some guys.

I'll admit, even when sex is readily available, sometimes porn and a little jerking off is preferable. I don't have to worry about pleasuring someone else or whether or not I'm showered and clean, I can get everything done with no mess and go about my day.

But if you're truly incompatible, time to break up.
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>>18112926
Lmao u mad famalam?
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>>18112932
The other forum wasn't as fast. Also I like getting multiple inputs, also I'm a whore. I'm sorry though and I appreciate what the others, including maybe you have written. xx
Thread posts: 44
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