I honestly liked it when these were up, giving off a sense where

these threads are allowed again.

The janitor posted the last one apologizing for removing them, also mentioning how they give that sense of community, and that him removing them took away the community and made the board a 'job' for its users.

>6th grade, valentines day
>have to bring valentine things to class like cards and candy
>class is giving out candy, my turn comes
>all the girls act like theyre grossed out taking my candy and cards
>after were all done and were eating candy and reading our cards i notice the girls immediately threw my candy and cards away
>inside the cards they gave me were like "not really" "please dont take this seriously" "my parents made me give you one"
>wonder what i did to get this. figure i am just the one they chose to hate

Its been over 15 years and I still think of this. I fucking hate you all.

im falling apart and i have absolutly no one to talk to my fiancee hates me my family is well lets not get into that and i feel so fucking alone. ive fucked up my life and i dont know how to fix it in fact i think its unfixable at this point. i kinda think i need to just commit suicide and be down with this shit. i cant take it anymore even my doctors just blow me off and ignore my problems so fuck it. i need to get my hands on a helium tank quick

I know that there's plenty of fish in the sea, but she had that mix of qualities that I want, physical and mental. And she liked me, too! We were inseparable for 3.5 years. If there was a person that could be thought of as one, she was definitely soul-mate material. She even still cares about me! I understand things change, people change, or don't change, and all that. And the flaws that broke us up? Due to inexperience or immaturity, and I've had time to reflect on them. I just want her to come back to me.

Why on God's green Earth must it hurt so fucking much? Again, even!

I'd suffer through all this again, though, as long as I knew she would decide to come back.


We met on Saturday for coffee after 4 months of no contact. It went very well. And that's part of the problem: the wounds were deep, healed quite a lot, and then were reopened by this. I told her again it's essentially round two or nothing, and I very much expect ot to be nothing. She was down about that, but she basically wanted that in the first place, so...

You don't even give me a hint of what you want.

You called me immature but you're the one running away from all this. We simply need to talk, but you continue to push me away.

Why do you even keep talking to me? If you wanted to leave, just say so and I will leave you alone. Stop playing with me. I'm growing sick of it.

Maybe you are a coward and can't end things between us. Makes the most sense. I know you the best, you like to deny it but you have always known it was true. We didn't spend 10 years in a miasma of yes and no to not learn from it.

Yes, I acted like a child. I made some pretty harsh mistakes but I'm not trying to act like it didn't happen. I'm not the one trying to transfer the guilt of what we did to just me. You blame me for what happened. I know you do. It happened. I never blamed you, but you don't see it that way. You only blame me and consider yourself safe from the guilt.

As I grow angrier and pained, I have to hold back the desire to tell your parents about the baby. Well, as you call it "The Fetus". I promised to not say a thing, to keep it between us, but why should I if you treat me like a stranger? Why should I bear your guilt? You won't talk to me about it, you won't let me get closure in either direction. It's exhausting me. I can feel the resentment grow everyday. I wonder why I should even wait for you when you won't even give me the time of day?

I try to help, to be there for you, but you just shove me away. Why should I respect your wishes? Why should I keep them out of it, when you won't even give me the time to work things out together?

You are treating me like a child, when you ask to be treated like an adult. Look in the mirror first before you point fingers at me. Look at yourself before you ask me to do something to protect you,

Like you said, we aren't boyfriend and girlfriend anymore, why should I hold back? If you see us as strangers, then your feelings no longer matter to me. As mine don't mean shit to you.

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I'm a loser turning 25 in a month and there guys 23y with degrees and job while Iv been sitting on my ass.I took up programming to give myself a light of hope for the future but I haven't made much progress since I started at 21 and thoughts of suicide keep creeping in slowly as my home circumstances get worse with no fault of my own.On top of this my adhd that has been unrecognized since grade school is effecting my grades in CC and no one but me seems to notice.Who do I talk to for this shit?Maybe it's to late for me and I should die somewhere quietly like I lived.

>>18109618
Half the time I didn't even get cards or candy on those forced Valentine's day things in elementary school while the rest of class was giggling over their cards and eating candy. I got the "I was forced to give you one" cards too sometimex, maybe candy from the teacher if they brought stuff in for the class. I fucking hated Valentine's then and still do over a decade later.


Strangely enough I wound up skipping school on Valentine's every year of high school.

I don't believe in karma but I wish my ex who abruptly dumped me would get what's coming to him. I wish he would feel even an ounce of the heartache he caused me. I wish he would apologize, or even give me the smallest indication that he still cared about me at the end. I wish I could stop thinking about him a month and a half after the break up even though we haven't talked since.

In a few days I'll never, ever come back to 4chan. I'll be starting a new life in the image I have always wanted to be. I'll be able to do anything I want, any way I want, with anyone I want. I'll no longer be a puppet used for entertainment, no longer will I have the world's weight on my shoulders. I'll be able to make art freely with extremely talented people...

I'll be happy.

I'll actually be happy. I'm going to be happy.

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I honestly don't know what the fuck I'm doing wrong. I've been interested in you since the our first day of college, and yet you are "always too busy" to hang out with me, but when always tells me when you hang out with the Game Maker.
Is it because you know I like you? Is it because I'm fat and you want nothing with me? Is it because I give you too much attention? Is it the constant flirting?
Is it because I sent you flowers for valentines, even if we're not dating? Is it because I'm willing to drive you anywhere because you got your csr wreck after skipping class to "go study in Game Maker's house before class"?
I feel like a dumbass, and a cuck. But for whatever reason, I'm still unable to get you out of my head.

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I miss my sun, moon, and all my stars. I love you, little Luna. I have lost you but I will see you again on the other side of the sea. Please wait for me. I'm coming for you.

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I am in my mid 20s and have nothing to show for it, i still have 3 years left before i get my degree, and thats a big if because my scholarship is running out.

I dont know what to do, my future is bleak as fuck, i am honestly just thinking of dropping out, saving 20k, then travel the world for a year.

After that money runs out, off myself.
I want to drown in the middle of the ocean, i sick of this fucking disgusting pedestrian lifestyle

Why does it feel like no one could possibly love me enough to marry me and have children together? And why does my body feel so terrible right now?

>>18109796
Damn I feel the exact same way

>>18109757
You'll be back.


Once you're here you never leave. 4chan is purgatory.

>>18109757
I honestly wish you the best. There's no better feeling than feeling reborn into somewhere you have control over yourself.

>>18109609
Why did the janitor start removing them in the first place?

>>18109770
>I'm fat and you want nothing with me

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FUCKING WHY THE HELL IS IT TAKING ME THREE GODDAMN WEEKS TO WALK TWO BLOCKS TO THE BANK AND DEPOSIT MY GODAMN MONEY. I GET DRESSED GET MY CASH READY MAKE SURE THE HOUSE ISNT GONNA BURN DOWN, CHECK LOCKS CHECK FACEBOOK CHECK INSTAGRAM OH STACY JUST POSTED A NEW SELFIE I NEED TO LIKE IT IVE GOT A MINUTE LETS CHECK FUCKING YOUTUBE AND FILL MY CURIOSITY ON MEDIEVAL SWORD TECHNIQUES AND FIGHTING DID YOU KNOW MORDHAU ALLOWS SWORDS TO BE USED AS A HAMMER/MACE AND IS VERY EFFECTIVE AGAINST ARMORED KNIGHTS AND SUPRISING ENEMIES NEITHER DID I BUT NOW IK HUNGRY LETS MAKE FOOD AND CHILOUT FOR AN HOUR OR 4 TILL THE BANK CLOSES AGAIN BUT AT LEAST I LEARNED ABOUT FUCKING MORDHAU I don't even know where to begin when I need to workout. I have no problem doing it I just never fucking get around to doing it.

>>18109960
because some fucking schizoid (and i'm being serious) fuckface started shitting up every thread like this with his absolute delusional bullshit

>>18109999
What kind of bullshit? I see that shit a bunch so I'm trying to see which one your referring to.

>>18110005
guy would sit and make these long ass posts, constantly, every fucking day, about massive and ridiculous national government level conspiracies were keeping some girl from him and on and on

the kind of delusional shit that gets called out immediately as delusional schizotypal shit, even on 4chan

entire threads were taken over by it and the janitors finally said fuck it and started deleting all threads like this for a while

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I give up trying to understand my friends relationships cause apparently nothing I know is true. Sure your 3 suicide attempts were totally worth it for a man who still gets grounded and uses you for weed and alcohol but hey he's plays Xbox live with you so it's an improvement. Oh yeah it's worth it to get back with him for the 14th time he's completely different and actually likes you now and won't drive you to try to commit suicide again. That clap is definitely worth getting from her you go man getting back with her after she's been around the block. Totally man spending all your paychecks on her for the last 2 months was definitely worth it all them gems, silver and fancy dinners are gonna make it last.

I'm done trying to deal with these people. Thank God I stopped doing drugs and got off the streets. Yeah they were my good friends at one point but I've moved forward over the two years while theyre right where they started still getting handouts smoking weed n drinking themselves dumb and numb

>>18110016
Yeah I remember that one now. There is also the guy who thought his friends and family were conspiring against him.

>>18110016
Whatever happened to that anon that was in love with his young cousins? Is he in prison yet?

>>18110018
Your text could be a fine Whitehouse track if you read it up furiously.

>>18109796
Keep your chin up, summer's not so far away.

>>18109722
Continued:
It's 6:52am here and I've been up all night, the coffee as a stimulate didn't help my ADHD to focus and instead I just shitposted and laid in bed for hours thinking.Iv thought about it and realized that the only reason I'm still alive is because of the other losers in my town,my friends. I'll stick around for a few more games of DnD(its new to me) or maybe ask them if they like to make a videogame or 2 with me since most of them are art/film inclined while I'm the only wannabe programmer I know in my group.

seriously fuck you you goddamn leech. i can't wait until i find someone who genuinely loves and cares about me. Someone who doesn't feel the need to fucking lie about everything. You really don't deserve for good things to happen to you.

>>18110070
I'm betting 50$ that he finally got sent to the proper facilities and is either in a cushioned room or on heavy meds.

>>18109466
A couple years ago I used to hear somebody's voice which sounded nothing like myself telling me to kill myself quite regularly. I would tune it out but sometimes I would be trying to sleep and be wide awake suddenly because I would swear there was somebody right next to me shouting in the middle of the night to get my attention.
This voice had gone away with no apparent reason. But it's back, just not very loud. It's very casual and I'll be working at my computer and hear somebody behind me say in a pretty laid back way "Why haven't you killed yourself yet?". I live alone.

I am not suicidal.

I was going to go to a therapist when it was so bad that it was waking me up but then when it mysteriously vanished I figured that was the end of it and there was no point in wasting money. But he's back. He's super easy to ignore though and hasn't been nearly as persistent in trying to get my attention.

>>18109757
See you in a month.

Last night I realized that I push any potential boyfriends/dates away because I don't feel like anyone could love me, and I'd rather be the one doing the rejecting than be rejected myself. So I just sabotage anything right from the beginning.

>>18109999
Quads of truth.

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I only post in this thread on 4chan.

I hope everything will be good to me from this moment onwards. I am really tired of being hurt. I will ignore everything and everyone that makes me feel shit and really sad. This is me now, alone. Not letting anything gets under my skin.

-

it's feels so good to go on Facebook and upload and album every other month of my new friends and I have a fucking blast and know your old best friend that cut you off and ghosted you will see them each time while they are stuck still hanging out w/ losers from high school

Since you don't know what you want. I will do it for you.

I'm choosing my own sanity over your feelings. I quit.

I wish you luck in life. As much as I want to hate you, I can't. As much as I want to hurt you, I won't. I still do love you, but it's clear you don't return the same.

Goodbye.

>>18109999
>>18110016

thats not what happened at all. he more or less admitted that he thought the threads as a whole were cringey edgy whining which specifically goes against the rules of /adv/

that being said, if someone DOES spam that sort of shit, im sure he'd take care of it if you report it

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Lucy, I should have given you my number at INC.. I was so incredibly smitten with you, that I didn't even realize how badly I was crushing.. I was overwhelmed with joy, fear, relief, frustration, concern..

I hope you are there next year..

>>18110482
These threads are cringey, but seems to offer a strange relief to some.
It's almost comforting to think someone might have read your post, or at least a way to vent it out here instead of irl.

Also, most of these post don't require a full thread, so it's a sort of containment.
I'm just glad they are back.

>>18110317
>I'd rather be the one doing the rejecting

Rejection is essential for growth. Failure is a great teacher.

I'm not sure I'll make it. I try to work hard but then it's like I'm running on empty. I'm worried that when I get there, even if I don't wash out immediately, something will go wrong with me. Like there'll be some weak spot that'll crumble. I'll start out excited and gung ho and dedicated, but I'll just turn into a dead man walking, a person who walks and breathes purely out of habit. I'll never be happy because I don't know how to be happy, and haven't really known how to be happy for the last decade. There might be something wrong with me, but I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to look into it, because I don't want to ruin what I might have down the line. I tell myself to power through, to endure, but I'm scared I'll crumble and fall.

I don't want that, because I don't want to be weak, and I don't want to be worth nothing. I want to do things, but there's no fire. I feel passionate about things, and I ride that high, and then it just burns out and there's nothing inside.

I know how hard this is for you too, but you don't have to tell me I should throw away your stuff that you gave me and start unloving you. It's really hurting me whenever you say that making things hard even more ;_;

Asked this boring Tinder girl out on a date and she declined because we don't talk that much (because I find her boring) so it would be weird for her. I said that I understand and then said bye to her - thought it was reasonable because we met on Tinder and we're not exactly on there to make chums. Nah, she proceeded to back-pedal and imply that a date could be on the table if we started speaking more. She made a bigger deal out of it than that but you get the gist.


Is this a control thing, or what? I can guarantee that she would give me the "you're being too intense" line and cut me off if I went with it and started talking to her more. Probably sometime next week, actually.


Would much rather end things on my own terms rather than have her ghost me.

>>18109711
Threating to tell a secret wouldn't help a person draw close to you. That would only bring them closer in fear of the secret being released. Stupid move.

>>18109757
Why do you do blame 4chan as the reason of your unhappiness? How were you used for entertainment? Sorry for the questions not expecting a reply. Just advice from anon to another anon......4chan seems like an object used to avoid dealing with your actual issue. I recommend looking into yourself before blaming "4chan". Happiness comes from within. Until you get that you will always find moments of brief pleasure only turning into moments of unfilled happiness. If you do return it's ok doesn't make you weak or any less of a person. Best wishes.

I am still feeling shitty from when my friend shot me down.

I finally came clean about how I felt for her, and simply got "Well I really appreciate your honesty. I'm just so focused on myself and what I'm doing with my life, I don't have the time to pursue anything with anyone"

I fucking woulda wished that she coulda been completely upfront with me. Instead still avoided saying "I only like you as a friend"

Some people who know the situation are saying that I have like a 30% chance of it working out in the long run... So.. Maybe she said it being completely sincere, but wanting to maybe do something down the line? Doubtful though, but one can hope?

Honestly, I think she is 100% sincere about it, given that I already knew she was heavily focusing on her own life.

>>18109701
Fuck man don't. I feel that way too, I've lost the only woman I've ever truly cared about. Just live out whatever time you have left on this spinning pile of shit

>>18109770
Take the hint, dude. She just doesn't like you and is trying to let you down easy. That's why she says she's busy. A person isn't going to like you because you drive them somewhere or send them unwanted flowers.

To my dearest above all,

I hope you're having a wonderful time, learning a lot and still focused on self improvement. Please be happy, happier than you ever could with me.

I always received blessings and accomplishments. I used my pain and hurt as a driving force. Does this make me weak? I truly Seek and remain in drama only to turn the pain into strength. What can I do to motivate myself in a healthier way?

I'm sick of the only reason to not kill myself being "it would hurt your friends and family"

It's starting to make me resent my friends and family.

I wish I can wake up tomorrow and have my determination back.

I hate your guts and i want you to die. I fucking hate you, you reprobate.

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I know you're my brother, and I'll always love you conditionally, but I fucking HATE you.

What kind of man are you? You bully our mother, you shame your girlfriend, you alienate us to the point where you yell at us for asking you to clean up your literal shit. Food under your bed, rats in the room we SHARE, and letting mold fester.

Our mom sacrifices everything for us and you repay her by verbally abusing her.

You fat, disgusting pig. We all HATE you. You expect us to be nice to you but you cant do the same for us. You're an idiot and you have a spending problem. Pay your rent like you agreed, its the least you can do for the woman who gave birth to you is pay your rent on time. She's depressed and going through a divorce. Are you so fucking dumb that you cant sympathize for a single day?

Fuck you, when you're gone, we are NOT keeping in touch. I don't like you, you greedy pig.

I don't feel sexy at all any more, and it hurts until I realize that I've never felt sexy, even when I was objectively at my sexiest. Even now I hear it but I never feel it, which really is as bad as other people not feeling it. Worse, actually. And then if someone happens to come along every Blue Moon and make me feel that way, I'm their slave. I hate being this way.

>>18109466
I hated my roommates dog and accidentally killed it, he still doesn't know it was my fault

>>18110022
I'm the schizo that was going on about the friends and family thing. Sorry for shitting up the threads.
In my defense, it was actually happening over the span of a few years, and I was nearly murdered a several times and had no outlet for what was happening so I came here like the fag I am.

>>18111008
Don't start.

bitch ima fuck you in the ass AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
also
you fags need to hit the gym

>>18110727
I'm not telling her that. Like I said, I'm going to. As much as I burn I could never do such a thing to someone I loved so much.

I feel disgusting enough to think about it, but I'm glad I can vent it out.

If she wants to leave, I can do nothing but just accept it and respect her choice.

As much as it hurts, I want her to be happy even if it's not with me.

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Ok so here it goes, I'm a 20yo guy who has no relationship experiences at all, and before a week or so I went out with a girl that I had spoken with in facebook, I like to believe that we had a fun time, but nothing really romantic happened, I should have made the first move, but I chickened out because of my inexperience, (and because I wasn't really sure what's going on 'cause she's in an "open relationship") did I fuck it up? does she think that I'm a complete pussy? well we still chat over facebook etc ( even though I really doubt if she's as excited as I am) so I'm pretty sure she's willing to meet again eventually, so here's the big question, will it be completely obvious that I'm completely inexperienced if I try to kiss her etc? should I tell first? even though I'm not into this "open relationshit" thing she's really cute and interesting and I really can't take the loneliness anymore, I probably sound like a complete β but I would appreciate some advice. For the time being I'm trying not to seem too clingy and play it cool, I planning to ask her out for the weekend or so.

>>18110976
>accidentally
At least you didnt murder it

Don't you find it curious that when you cheated on me, you wanted to keep in touch with him but now that you're gone, you don't talk to me at all?
Two months of dirty talking with some twit meant more than several years with me.
It's all good.

I consider myself well adjusted and mature, I'm 24 years old and have been through a bunch, but I always feel like I'm being put in second place. That I'm never a priority, even by my friends. I'm always forgotten or put at a distance. And I'm always the one making an effort for others, but they put zero effort in me and just use me for convenience. I guess I always had issues with relationships, and it is turning me bitter and misanthropic. I dunno how to feel anymore, all I know is that it feels bad man.

>>18111058
You really are better off without her and it just goes to show how stupid people can be. You made a good choice in leaving her. Dont waste too much time and emotional energy on her hoe ass.

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I've been wanting to clearly resume my autistic relationship (not in the romantic sense clearly) with my crush since a long, long time, and now this thread is giving me a chance to do it. I'd be really glad if you read this. I don't feel like green texting though.

It al starts the first year of high school. Autistic kid with a Slayer backpack (me) meets a punk and befriends him. During the break we go in the courtyard and there he makes me notice a cute girl he wants to hook up. I'm interested as well but not too much, still in my full immersion web/vidya phase, no gf required or anything even though I liked her. Also, he saw her first, and he seemed to know more shit about relationship and stuff than me.

So we start to meet there every day, talking about music and random stuff (the girl caught our eye with her Led Zeppelin shirt and her green hair). One day though, like the autistic sperg I am, I take too much confidence with that "friend" (which was actually just an acquaintance) and take a piece of his sandwich without asking. He gets pretty fucking mad and we argue (yeah, I know how ridicolous this sounds, and at the time that made me even more sad about it). We eventually clear things up, but I don't feel like meeting him that much any more and I barely say hello to him and the other acquaintances, meeting them in the courtyard only rarely and perceiving through body language how kinda undesired i was (not really talking about hate or anything, I just wasn't part of their group anymore).

And while I was by myself they developed their bond and started going out together, becoming bests friends etc...
The things between the punk and the girl didn't work out that well though. He got friend zoned.

(1/?)

>>18110507

cringey as all fuck. janis dont care for containment cuz they just ban rule breakers anyway, but they do seem itnerested in going back to 'community' and these offer that, as people often do respond to each others rants.

Fuck it, I'm gonna ask her out.
I don't care if I seem weird or too forward.
I just like the way she looks at me I guess.

>>18111130
Good luck, anon!

How's a nigga supposed to get an asian gf when all the asian girls over here just date other asians?

>>18111134
Asians ony date asians

Your ony chance is to date a second-gen mega-whore. Y'know, the ones that BARELY look asian

>>18111116
That kinda makes me feel good (quite asshole-ish of me, I know). He vaguely talks about her being quite "crazy" (not in a good way but it wasn't an insult either, more like a warning), but I'm still interested. I start to know her better and oh God. Great taste in music, literature, funny, clever. Feelings get deeper. But I feel unworthy of her, she's good looking, taller and SOCIABLE, unlike me. And overall, we don't really hang out, we just take the same bus to go home and on the way we talk to waste time. One day we meet at the party of a common friend of ours. We were the first, even before the birthday girl. Completely alone. And all I can do is give her vague answers and look to the floor.

She probably perceived how autistic I am. No way on earth I'll even touch her. Now I almost never meet the guys or her again. I avoid her like the plague, but at the same time I want to know her even more. I check her FB like a creep.

And Jesus Christ, I know this is probably just infatuation, I know that it's LITTLE THINGS and I know that time will make it pass but Hell, right now it hurts. It hurts so fucking much. And the fact that this is literally nothing and I'm living this like a tragedy makes me feel even worse, because I know this isn't "real pain" or what. But I still feel it.

I'm sorry.

>>18111143
>Asians ony date asians
Why are asians such assholes?

>>18111146
Well this is the point where I'd call you a pussy, but you seem pretty self aware. So, uh, good luck with that shit I guess.

Give me one more backhanded compliment I dare you.

I can't survive without asking people for opinions on what to do, I'm unable to make my own decisions. I rely too much on 4chan.

>>18111250
Same

4chan is imbedded into my personality

>>18110760
Only place I have ever admitted trying to kill myself is here. Apparently twice the LD5.0 dose of Percocet (200mg) wasn't enough.

Never will admit it to anyone irl.

>>18111008
There was 2 of you then.

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I don't have anybody to talk to about this.. so here it goes:

I love being asleep, it is the only type of joy I get in life.

I am incredibly lonely, so I dream about women often and feel better at least for a few minutes after I wake up. I don't have 'sex' dreams or anything like that, but I dream about passionately making out, cuddling into the night, and just being in the warm presence of a nice woman in bed.

The other night I actually woke up while I was kissing a woman in my dreams, realized it, fell back asleep and my dream continued on.

I am about to sleep again, and I am really looking forward to it. I hope I can remember everything.

I must admit that sometimes I don't feel good after my dreams, sometimes I really want to kill myself but I clearly have never had the real nerve to do it and attain an eternal sleep.

After waking up from a nice dream, I usually feel loved for a few minutes and then the dread sets back in that I am again alone in a dark room.


good night guys

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This isn't really a vent but my not-mother in law decided to buy me $4,000 in art supplies and a really expensive tablet. I'm not sure how the hell to feel about this as I'm both confused and surprised why someone would do this. She claims that she'll buy anything I need to accomplish my dreams and that she is well off enough that it isn't a big deal to her.
Its kind of funny because my mom gave me a weird look like "Couldn't you have asked her for anything else?" but I already know my mom would waste all that money on nothing and I have to buy this shit eventually so might as well do it now.

>>18111357
Goodnight, anon.

Be glad though, that you aren't woken up by a dream of making out with an ex you loved. Her face faded out into the pillow right in front of me. It had been some time after our breakup too. Not a good feel.

After spending two months in a non-depressed state last summer, this winter has been terrible. Things have gotten better as I manage to get to school (by noon...) and have a group friends there that I occasionally hang out with on the weekends. I just find the time from when I get home to I fall asleep so dreadful as I have no motivation left to cook dinner, play video games or read a book. When I'm out drinking I get female attention and sometimes spend the night with a cutie, but the state of emptiness creeps up on me before I leave in the morning.

For me, not being depressed felt like being drunk. My charm was pressure lubricated, I could pursue my hobbies and woke at 6:30 AM with the world at my fingertips.

So I've got this mole on my leg and I've never thought anything of it but apparently it's the sort of thing I should report to my doctor.

Top bantz, could have cancer.

Why did it have to be you? Out of all the fucking posts in that thread I chose to reply to yours. I just wanted to help an anon out, but it was YOU. At least I didn't say anything embarrassing. God why do you have to be everywhere I don't want you to be?

I feel low energy but am hopeful that I will feel high energy soon.

I'm falling for the girl I work with. I knew what her name would be before I ever met her cause I woke up and I just knew and I was right, and I've always had a connection with that name (uncommon name, never knew anyone irl that had it).
>shes really into comedy
>shes really into film
>shes qt
>great fashion sense
>shes smart
>shes taken

two months ago i woulda thought I had no chance, but monday she was talking about "bridging the space between us" and yesterday she mentioned a friend whos leaving her 2yr bf for the guy she works with (aka same situation as us)

until i find out for sure, i'm going to hardcore flirt every other day to find changes in her tone and inflection and body language and shit. i'm willing to wait for her and her bf to end but i also dont want to miss my chance. dont really know what else to do

I dont know where to really start. Tried to join the army twice, past everything except got rejected as when i was born, i had a club foot but has been corrected. I can walk normally but you can notced a slight difference in proportion with my leg muscles. That really got me angry as I was really interested in the military lifestyle. Tried just recently for the police, same fucking story. Now i feel envy and anger when i see these individuals because im not that and cant ever be that. To make matters worst, the relationship im in is really emotionally damaging me. Making me more rage.

>>18111590
Use it in a positive way. Find a way to fight back at the military, taking the disability argument and saying it shouldnt stop you from being part of the squad, or perhaps that theres something else within the military that you CAN do that isnt inhibited by your birth defect. best i can do, dont know much about the armed forces

>>18111575
I have 3 crushes myself, but you know...
Don't shit where you eat.
I won't sway you, however. Do what you must, but do realize this can end very badly.

...so how qt is she?

>Just moved to entire new city for new job
>Been at job for 8 months
>All but laid off, job has only had me come in like twice in two weeks because "work has dried up"
>Have potential to get much better job in a week or two
>Current job wasn't paying me enough to sustain living anyway
>Invested days creating new projects just for the potential job


If I don't get this potential job, well then I guess I'll fucking kill myself.

>>18111374
Count your blessings. My dad didnt even know what my major was until I had my master's and got my career started.

I really really *really* want to fuck mother-in-law. I think my wife knows too...

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It's been 8 years since we first met.
It's been 3 years since I left. I want to apologize for my own reckless ignorance. If I had defied my fear and took action then we could have done great things together, or maybe not, but I suppose we will probably never know what could have taken place. I know you've probably moved on and don't even remember my name, but here I am still thinking about you after 8 years. I've tried to move on yet I fail again and again, so I guess I'll just have to keep trying.

There's a pretty autistic girl that is super fucking cute that I want to ask out, but I don't know how fucked up it is to try and get with an autistic girl. I'm afraid that I'll scare her or something if I try to ask her out. This has been going on for a year now and its very frustrating.

Please do not show up randomly at my doorstep. That is not romantic. It is creepy. You've been to my house once. That doesn't give you a right to come here any time you please.

>>18111597
Appreciate the advice. Problem is that i did try. Spent money on 20 doctors and specialist to get an opinion on my foot which were very positive and both military and police rejected me. Even non physical roles like cook or admin i was rejected.

I fucked up with this test I'm gonna have tomorrow and definitely gonna get a 0 on it. Gonna try to make up an illness excuse or maybe say I had a panic attack (I actually do have a xanax script, would that work or should I not do that?), but the professor is a known hard ass and strict af, probably going to tell me to go fuck myself as politely as possible of course.

Hearing some of your problems helps though, at least my whole life isn't ruined or some shit, despite how much I beat myself up over this.

sometimes i wish i was still freakishly in love with you but i cant do this to myself anymore

im tired of being a freak and the only way out is to grow up

>>18111638
It's cute now but after the novelty of TFW gf rubs off its gonna be really fucking annoying

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Look, I get that it's too much for me to ask for someone who will actually make time for me, but would it seriously be the end of the world if I could have ONE person (who isn't a family member) simply give a shit about me for once?

>>18110757
>still avoided saying "I only like you as a friend"
How could she be more upfront, Captain Wishful Thinking?

>>18111928
By saying what I mentioned.

Especially given her mixed signals with staring, locking eyes, randomly smile ling, 10hr texts, randomly sitting near me and trying to impress me

>>18110016
Turned out they were all true and everyone here knows it.

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Fucking hell. I am so fucking DONE with applying to jobs. I go to high school. I go to college. I'm super involved in both. I graduate. I finally land a "foot in the door!" job, but now that job is ending and I'm completely back where I started like this job never existed. None of my old or new network connections are working, and every application I painstakingly write is shot down in seconds. It's just getting so damn frustrating to put hours into making what I think is a good application for work I seriously want to do and then having it be thrown in the trash. My "mentor" for all the bullshit I put up with in undergrad doesn't give a shit about me, and everyone else at my job is too busy to give me the time of day.

I feel like I'm running on a hamster wheel, and I'm not even getting paid for it. This is shit.

I want to work. I'm not lazy. But fucking hell is it too much to ask for that work to be rewarded with something I can actually use? The few jobs I am finding are EVEN MORE "foot in the door" bullshit. When am I IN THE DOOR? NOT MY FOOT, MY WHOLE FUCKING BODY? WHEN DO I GET TO STOP DOING TRICKS FOR TREATS?

I will earn this. You know I will.

>>18111933
You are avoiding what she's ACTUALLY TELLING YOU because you don't want it to be true. You're projecting when she's blatantly telling you she feels the exact opposite. You are going to lose her that way if that matters to you.

>>18111998
I know what she's saying. That she's not interested. I fucking know that.

But OTHERS who know our history have been saying otherwise

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I am 29. I want to move out of my parent's basement. I want to get a gf. I have a degree in history. I want to find a job where I can use it. I want to live a normal life. Is that so much to ask for?

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You literally had malice this year on Valentine's day.

I tried so hard to better myself for you because I cared for you. Because I loved you.

But you didn't care. You didn't try. As I told you to get out of my life I hoped that something would click and you would see.

But that didn't happen. You just left without a word.

I bet you're not even crying about. I bet you're glad. I gave you justification to act in anyway you want.

And I'm here alone.

>>18111625
HEre's my story.
>Got a job
>got decent wages for what I got (although for my work, I should get more. faggots wouldn't succeed without me.)
>get treated like shit by all the wait staff
>must stay for a fucking year or two to even get decent experience for other places
>trying not to fucking kill myself even though there's so much justification to do so
>got a place now, waiting 2 weeks to get it
>I realize the tremendous debt I put myself into, but my worthless cunt of a roommate wants me to leave, even though I fucking give her money

Even if you may get this job, anon, it never gets better. Easier? maybe. But it really, really never gets better.

>>18112007
Pretty sure you were the one that said she wasn't being upfront, breh.

>>18112050
I'm saying that I know what she means, but I wish it was more direct

>>18112042
If this is you, J, you can fuck straight off

>>18111746
was in this exact situation last semester, i lied and said my grandpa died and wrote a fake obituary as proof

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>>18110808
I got the hint, alright.
But it pisses me off the fact that I refuse to take the hint and stop having feels for her and the fact that I don't know why she doesn't like me (though to be fair my quiet/awkward personality and fat-ness is probably why.)

>>18112112
My point exactly.

To every child prodigy out there: go fuck yourself.
To every girl out there who has a BMI below 20: go fuck yourself.
To every girl out there who has boobs bigger than a B cup: go fuck yourself.
To every girl out there who has ever had a boyfriend: go fuck yourself.

Yes, I am insecure. Shut up.

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>>18109963
You're right. Being fat probably quite a bit to do with this.
Don't know why I even keep trying to get a girl if I continue being +200Lb...

>>18112120
If your first initial is J it really has to be the biggest coincidence in the history of mankind... Cuz there's no way you're the J that I was referencing. He'd never claim he was trying to better himself for me and I also didn't leave without a word. So.... Sorry you're dealing with a shit situation, anon

Everywhere I look it seems, I see people trying to sell me something. It's starting to drive me mad.

>>18112132
It has to be a coincidence because the person I'm referring to doesn't use or like 4chan. Sucks we're in a similar boat, but now I don't feel so alone. Sorry either way.

I still think of you and miss you. It's a sweet torture really. My parents, even they no longer hassle me about "finding someone else" in the future and have silently accepted I don't want to be in another relationship again. You were the last. I loved you and would've done anything for you. I still love you and I still would do anything for you. The pain of your words last spoken to me haunts me as I drift off to sleep and during the day, your angry words and broken promises are a broken record humming in the back of my mind. I don't regret being with you. I'm still confused but doing my best to keep moving forward without you by my side.

>>18112162
Names beginning with J are actually pretty common.

>>18112176
This site is mostly anonymous. Some one calling you by your initial on here is pretty spooky.

>>18112162
Yup it's definitely a coincidence, cuz my J knows that I love me some 4chan. Our similar situations do suck, so listen... If you need someone to talk to about it, especially since I'm someone who can maybe help you understand the other side of things, send me an email.... ashley1_9 at hotmail dot com. You aren't alone!

>>18112176
Yes, thank you for the info Capitan Obvious

>>18112197
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS UGH

>>18112207
Is James exotic? Jordon is a nice name.

>>18110016
My GOD that was annoying. 300-something post threads and every fourth post was his. Like, how did he even do it? He needed serious help. In any case I'm glad these threads are back up again, they are cathartic.

For the reason I came to the thread: You became your father, the man that used to belittle you and tell you that you weren't good enough no matter what. You started doing that to me. I never had the strength to tell you but I hope your therapist has opened your eyes to it.

>>18111058
She probably flirted with a different guy because she didn't like talking to you. And she doesn't talk to you now because she still doesn't like talking to you. She should have broken up with you, but it's hard to see when you stop liking someone sometimes after so long. Also did she cheat or was she dirty talking? Or both? Just curious

>>18111374
That's nice, anon! My parents have no idea I can draw and I've been doing it for years now. I'm almost a professional. Don't let it go to waste, be disciplined in your art studies and you'll go far.

>>18112119
>>18112130

Be the person that the person you want would want. Hope that made sense. Self-improvement is (almost) everything in life.

>>18112225
James is pretty damn common.
I was thinking Jorge, Jax, Jakob, Jose, Julian, Julio, Jarvis, or Jasper. Yes, most of those are hispanic, but they sound exotic.

(Yes, someone named their kid Jax. I know it's happening more often now, but come on. It sounds so edgy.)

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I seem to have a antibiotic resistant urinary tract infection. Ive had it for almost five months and have taken antibiotics twice but it keeps coming back. Shit sucks yo.

>>18112252
Strange people would name their children after Ajax.

>>18112260
Get checked for stds

Ex Boss is not giving me the forms to declare taxes because he is a little angry princess and thinks making a little tantrum because his fastest employees left because of the poor treatment from him and his little whore... He thinks this will make me feel his hate and learn the lesson of let him walk over me as all good employees should ofc... Ergh... Little does he know I will call revenue services next week to tell what its happening and he will get a Lovely fine,maybe also call the labor association to complain of his lack of payments and making people overwork extra hours for free

I found out I get folie a deux few days ago.
My psychologist told me so. I've noticed that my accent changes after spending some time with people with different accents, whenever I'm with people that are high on drugs like LSD and ecstasy I tend to act as high as them (even without taking any shit), my mood also changes depending on the people around me. That's kinda insane, though. I'm not sure if he's right and I must pay more attention to this disorder or if it's just an impression, a placebo effect.
Am I getting crazy?

>>18112262
Indeed, although it's not Ajax we're talking about (That's a cool name because Greek stories and shit, and it somehow completes the name), it's just...Jax.

Jax as in General Hospital, Sons of Anarchy, Mortal Kombat, or just Jax as Jax.

I just feel sorrow for people who just have Jax as a name. Their mothers had all the time in the world to pick better names, but Jax was the only one in their mind.

>>18111146
Oh so naive and young

I hate you, Mother.

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I was surprised by an old childhood friend that I haven't heard from in years. We chatted about the good old days and everything else that is going on in our lives. I realised that I almost forgot how it feels to have friends after a crippling year of complete isolation and self preservaton. Feels like a heavy burden just lifted from me and we talked like we never had cut our ties.
Thank you friend. You gave me air when I was suffocating in my own silence.

>>18112288

Jax from Sons of Anarchy is Jackson.

Why is it that theres always something on my mind?

Yesterday it was the "soft rejection" from my friend.

And now today, it's being worried about her dropping out of college

She sent this text "Yeah, I'm looking to work in FDNY EMS and one of my friends work in the department, so it might work out"

Keep in mind, FDNY does not offer Part Time employment, and that she's looking to start in August, when classes traditionally begin. Also, they do not require a graduate degree, or any college credits at all. And she already dropped out of a well regarded Uni (WVU) for a community college.

I feel like everything is honestly just a bit fucked. Iv lost old friends and my new ones i dont think care as much as i do and probably wouldnt want anything to do with me bar they live with me.

I started feeling things again recently and its shit, i had finally beaten most of my anxiety and my depression decided to come back over and fuck that too, i couldnt even go to class today because of it even though i was able to do crazy shit what seems like just 2 weeks ago.

I finally found myself falling for somebody which i Honestly havent done as long as i can remember and i fucked it up badly, i missed my chance and now shes with someone else and just thinking about it honeslty makes everything fucking 10 times worse.

By the end of this year ill lose everything, the last vestiges of friendship will leave me and come summer ill go back to the lonely sack of shit i was before. I may be lonely now but i dont think i could take the total loneliness again

Iv started thinking about killing myself again but Frankly i dont have the balls for it, I hope i get involved in something i cant control but is quick and painless because even though i want to die the entire idea of dying just terrifies me.

Anyways im just glad to get some of this off my chest

I've come to the realzation that I am friendzoned by my crush... Disapointed, I really thought we had something more then friendship going on.

>>18112446
lol max payne
I can relate to the isolation part but I on the contrary am always afraid to run into some old childhood friend or classmate. It seems like they have all matured and have a job and have become some boring normie. I'm still jobless and lazy and immature and I feel like every time I randomly meet one I'm being put on trial against reality and they ask me how come I have no job, how come my life is going nowhere.

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>>18111043
The first date isn't supposed to be filled with romance. Its usually to see if you and the other are a good fit. The dates that follow usually get a little more lovey.

>>18111560
If that really did happen, it's a sign.

>>18112612
>implying he has ever been on a date before
Nice try anon, but I've seen this bait before

>>18112277
Fucking do it, especially if it's a local business.

Thank you for the song. How did you know?

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>>18112620
Oh goddammit I after re-reading it I actually think I remember reading that some were before.

>>18112609
A good friend will understand, anon. Friends never judge each other like that.

I wish I could stop thinking about you. That you'd just text me. I know it wouldn't work but we could have fun for the moment.

>>18109466
>>18109466
I'm an Indian guy (the country) but I only like white women.

There you go, it's off my chest.

>>18112911
Congratulations

I completely losed the control of my life and I losed any interest in becoming a useful member for the society and I cant see myself alive in six years

That being said , I cant just find any interest to add in my life appart from computers , if that counts as a interest .
I have being alone and sad more than the half of my short life , and now I can´t see myself happy , and the fact that I have zero friends outside the internet makes my existence even more miserable .

/adv/ please just pray for me so hopefully one day I will be killed by a car or something
Just your typical loser

>>18112944
If you are still breathing there's still hope. Always remember that. Just keep starting over and over.

I wish I didn't have so many things wrong with me. Mainly anxiety and depression, but it's also been suggested by a psychiatrist that I might have some sort of mood or personality disorder and should follow up on that. Additionally, my body seems to be going to shit, and I'm not even thirty. Fucked up shoulders, fucked up eyes, fucked up digestion. I'm a worthless NEET due to years of severe depression, and I'm trying to get my life back on track, but things would be so much easier if I didn't spend so much energy on fighting my own brain. I wish I were normal. Just plain normal.

>>18110277
this, you never leave this place. You can't. It's purgatory, as another anon said.

>>18111069
She left me, but it was for the best.
>>18112251
Dirty talking is cheating. It's cheating from the picosecond he or she start hiding things, lying and indulging themselves with this new person.

>>18112963
Keep going, anon. See someone about meds or something, and keep trying.

>>18112963
I'm in a similar situation to you, though I am just 20. You should not be afraid to ask for help.

>>18112907
Sounds good to me. Here's a little secret: nothing works out for very long. In the end we're usually with people we don't even know, and after the end with even more people. Being close to one person is a transient thing by our human natures, which are lonely by design. Homo Sapiens evolved without collective memory. We are always alone. Every thing we do is a search for love, which is a merging of minds. But this is an illusion. Our existence is just a series of experiences we connect by a tenuous thread of desire.

>>18111560
Because I am everywhere and nowhere. I've transcended long ago, and will peek at every moment you breathe.

I'm kidding, who was the lucky guy, anon?

I'm still hoping to see you. Even just a quick glance of you from afar. I just wanna watch you and I'll be ok.

>>18112981
>Dirty talking is cheating. It's cheating from the picosecond he or she start hiding things, lying and indulging themselves with this new person
Well, that's highly debatable. In any case anon, good luck moving on

>>18109466
I want to kill my dad's boss.

They both entered the company at the same time, they basically worked as equals for more than thirty years. All this time this dude is known to be a spergy moron cherrypicking easy tasks, messing up then let others sort his mess for him. Now he spearheaded for this promotion and makes my dad's life a living hell now that he's his superior. He's got around eight years left until retirement. He's at his limit.

I don't believe in violence. I think it makes things worse than they are. Despite this, I am convinced that if I or somebody else knifed this asshole, the world would be a better place.

I'm not going to watch my dad be ground up under this pressure. He's taught me so much, raised my sisters and me to the best of his knowledge and worked so much overtime just to make sure the people under his administration could perform their tasks well. He doesn't deserve all this shit.

i wish the fact that you casually referred to me as being ugly would've sparked some motivation to work on myself, no matter how temporary

instead i just wanna go eat my sorrows away.

Last night I performed a conscious act of White Magic. I'd done smalller versions of the same thing but never so broadly, never with such positive results. It was like a form of meditation in which you invert every negative that comes into your mind, fully accepting the negative into yourself and expelling it out as a clear bright light. Using the negative as fuel for the fire, I untangled all the ugly snarls into ribbons and brushed everyone's face with the fluttering ends. Now that I know I am able to do this I will continue to do it.

It's warm here. I don't miss the north that much in this moment but that's probably because I enjoy the salty air and this new guy's affections. The cat likes him, too. Cool

It's seldom I feel much more than anxiety and loneliness these days.

Everyday, I'm supposed to get up and pretend that you're the greatest thing since sliced bread, that I love you, and show you how much you mean to me.

How can I do that? Every knock on the door, every text, every uncommon action, and I'm worried that whatever lie that you're trying to weave will unravel. You tell me to talk to you, but I can tell by the lack of sincerity in your actions that it is you that needs to talk to me. Perhaps you don't care to. Perhaps this doesn't matter. Perhaps you don't even see what is wrong. You hurt me, and you expect it to just go away. You think that if you get angry at me for being upset by it, that it'll bury it.

I thought we were doing good. We stopped fighting, I stopped trying to leave. Then you started acting strange. You insisted nothing was wrong, and refused to speak with me as you reverted into old habits. Like I needed evidence to know what was happening, you fool. The evidence was so that you would stop lying and making excuses to get out of it. You did so right to the end, right up until you knew without a doubt that I knew everything. Right up until the end, you acted like everything was okay. To top it off, you tried to justify it. You tried to justify breaking my heart, and shattering my trust. Insisting that I must be happy, and that I cannot hold on to these things forever.

So you smile. From when I wake up in the morning and you barge into my room before I can even get dressed, you smile. As you make me compensate for the things you cannot, you smile. As every second of my waking hour is consumed by you. You. Smile.

It's killing me.

I traded everything I had, everything I had wanted, all for you. I gave you a chance knowing the repercussions, fighting the people that actually cared for me to give you a chance.


Now, we're here.
You're broken beyond repair.
I am surrounded, yet alone.

I don't know why you are still on my mind after two years. You weren't the person I liked. You twisted the knife after dumping me and got enjoyment out of it. It should have been a massive red flag for me when you wanted others to hear us having sex at a party. If I had know if find amateur porn vids of you on some site, I would never have touched you.

E,

I am going to try and let you go, completely. It is what you want, and holding to your memory does nothing for me, though it will always be a part of me.

While I have been with other women, and even felt a spark once... I have finally felt a connection, as I did with you, and I am pursuing it. I never thought I would find another connection, much less one this strong...

What annoys me is that this happened in March, and there is some crossover with dates. C'est la vie, I suppose, but I do love this girl.

>>18113122
;_;

A dated a girl for a couple of months and all of a sudden she dumped me, she started to act cold.

The day she dumped me she said that she didn't have any time for us.

I know that was an excuse since, there is always time for someone, anyway, she told me to remain as friends but I told her that I couldn't

She kept texting me, but whenever I happen to cross with her she pretends to not see me.

I confronted her about it, I asked her why she kept acting like that if she wanted to remain as "friends", she said that she didn't know how to act since this is the first time she has experienced this she said that she'll try her best to treat me differently. She hasn't texted me since then.

I feel quite confused about this whole situation since everything was going great at first and then, all of a sudden all went down the hill.

>>18113122

I cannot be sad, or those around me will be sad.
I cannot leave, as I no longer have anywhere to go.

So now, I must get up. I must walk up to you, and I must recite our routine. I must smile, I must pretend everything is okay, and I must be happy.

Everything is fine.

I loved you.

>>18113127
You need to let go of these grudges that you are holding inside.

>>18113161
Easier said than done anon

>>18113148
I never wanted you to go. I love you. I never stopped loving you.

>>18113163
This is breaking my heart. I hope you forgive yourself and completely find peace.

As your name has been evoked, so I'll confess to the god of astronomical probability: I don't know what happened but something did. As you see I don't intend to ever reproach you or encroach upon your endeavors. The thing that happened for me is like a tiny window, slammed down and bolted shut but I can still see through the bars. I

>>18113205
-am gay.
no, not interested.

For a lot of my life iv shut myself off from the outside. Iv had Horrible anxiety that stopped me from doing anything and my depression never abated.

I shut myself off from the outside world by masturbating chronically and playing video games and they've been my crutch for the last 21 years so i didnt have to feel, or experiance the outside world. I had a full on addiction to porn masturbating every day with my fetishes becoming more and more revolting until i reached a day where I could no longer even feel disgusted at the fucked up shit i was watching post Fap because there was nowhere to go from where i was.

This fed into my self hatred and Shame and just caused the depression and anxiety i wasnt dealing with to build up and be suppresed deep down.

I moved out last year and iv stopped watching porn and playing games frequently and quite frankly i cant fucking stand all this feeling but i want to get better.

A few months ago something happened that I didnt think would ever really happen, i started falling for someone. I know that might sound a it odd but iv never really felt attraction or longing for people, im pretty sure it was because of all the repression but i cant say for sure.

I honestly dont even know what it is about her, i mean shes not the most attractive person in the world, she has a nice body i guess but thats not really what draws me to her, i honestly just cant explain it and i may never know now because i missed my chance. She tried to dance with me at a Traffic light party and she had a yellow light but im a chicken shit and didn't do anything, she was kinda seeing someone at the time but it wasn't serious or at least they didnt want to label it.

It was last week when they made it official, when we were all out on a night out and quite frankly the thought of them together is killing me. I'v felt the depression i was beating come back and my anxiety that I was finally mastering, (CONT)

>>18113328
Is winning again, i was able to sing karaoke sober a week ago today i couldn't even go into my classes.

What hurts the most isn't even that she's with someone else, its that i never got to find out if she liked me back, or if i could have had a chance with her. I feel i could get over her if i only knew but i don't and i don't think i ever will.

The whole things been feeding into my depression along with the fact im only starting to feel normal again now im off video games, porn and masturbating and im not sure i wont relapse and become the dead inside person i was before even though i know i dont want to be.

Shes best friends with my roomate and i still love to see her or just be around her even just as friends but hearing about her and her boyfriend just opens fresh wounds as i begin to think about the two of them together and what could have been.

Im sorry for ranting and venting but i really needed to get this off my Chest. Even if theres no advice that can help me its nice to know i could say it to someone or some people just to read, thanks for that /adv/. I know i'm not the most articulate but i just really needed to say it and i don't want to talk with my room mates since they know her and i don't want to ruin our Friendship.

>>18113205
>As your name has been evoked
Okay, who's name?

Stop messing with my life. You'll break long before I do.

-B

>>18113205
That would make sense.

>>18113283
How did you know I was gay? I thought I was hiding it so well, in spite of the Oscar-Wilde-ishness.

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I've been unemployed for three years. Little college education and shit jobs. I've done nothing with my life of 28 years and each time I feel ill, my heart races or I have a coughing fit II hope that it will be my last day.

What's funny is I somehow have a large group of friends, something that most people would be envious of, but I'm just confused as to why people want to talk to me. I've talked people up, helped people through rough times, gone out of my way and financially put myself in trouble sometimes, and talked two out of suicide, yet I'm the guy that cannot find peace here. I smile yet if you actually dig very deep, as some people have, you'll see I'm a very unhappy person.

I've looked inward and know there is no meaning to it all in the end, but there has to be something personal, a goal I can strive for. I guess in helping others I seek to see their reasons for continuing on since I have none.

>>18112491
ideas?

I've been thinking about this a little more. I'm sorry that you aren't okay because of your work. More so because of the way I have been acting. Look, I really do see how important the things you are doing are. I'm glad you are trying your best to deal with it. I do apologize if I am being demanding of you, like I said, it's not my intention. I miss you, maybe I shouldn't, but I do.

I know what we aren't and I know you don't have any obligation to me, truth be told, you didn't before. Sorry if I made you feel as if you did.

Right now, you're dealing with so much and you don't need me adding to your stress. So I understand why you don't want to. It's okay.

I simply hope you get past all this. Sorry that I have been getting in your way, as I did before as well.

Do your best. You usually do. Hang in there and, as much as I say this, I will do what I can to be supportive. Right now, it likely means giving you time and space, letting you handle your needs and goals.

I hope you are doing well. I know things are rough, and me trying to talk about us is not helping. I just wish you could tell me what you wanted, or made a few minutes for us to talk.

I just want to know, should I keep waiting for you? Or are we truly finished?

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I honestly think there's something wrong wit me but I just don't know what.I 've always had trouble with relationships. In 7th and 8th grades I was sad for basically the entirety school year. In high school I got good grades and mostly just felt "okay," and sometimes really sad for a few days, but never really "happy". I never felt motivated to go out and do fun things like my peers. Now for the first time my grades are dropping abysmally low and I feel like I can't remember or focus on anything. When I write tests I constantly doubt myself and my answers and I waste so much time. For a while I feel like I've been forgetting how to spell words when before I didn't really have a problem. I also cannot fall asleep on weekdays even if I am exhausted but on the weekends I sleep for a long time and still feel tired in a different way. I used to love reading and watching films but now all I want to do is go on the computer and look at memes or funny videos. At this point I'm starting to worry about my future and what I'm going to do in life. I always thought I might have depression but never told anyone because I'm not really sure if I do have it, maybe I really am just lazy and irresponsible and need better self-control. I don't want to waste people's time.

Every time I find myself having to go through London I still wonder if I'll randomly bump into you somewhere. Like if I looked out the window when we're in a tunnel and see your face is in the reflection. Or I accidentally sit next to you after I realise there's no double seats free and have to pick the first free seat near me, terrified of being seen to be actively choosing my travel companion. I find myself scanning the tube platforms whenever I get anywhere near your line. It hasn't really occurred to me what I'd even say, or if I'd say anything at all. I'd like to think it's just a fun game and that I've not gone completely fucking mad.

Hope you're alright.

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Community College sucks,it's an excuse for teachers to do shit and get paid for nothing but advice while giving out memory tests based off textbook readings with no comprehension examination, probably because it doesn't matter whether you comprehend the material or not,they already got paid and it isn't their problem if you fail.

>>18109466
I forgive you, Forrest.

>>18113525
I don't even know you but your words help me anon.

>>18113130
Initials?

>>18112127
Whoa..what's wrong, anonymous that be a female?

I was diagnosed by my doctor with cancer. They say I gave at most around a year and a half to live. I am worried to tell my family and I want to learn the piano but afraid I won't have enough time to. But im sure it'll heal and I'll be able to learn it. Anyone relate

>>18113649
Try anon. Play that fucking piano.
Do it not because you may die, but because you are alive here and now.

You not become a master at it, but as long you enjoy the music, it's enough. Hell, who knows, maybe someone else will hear you and enjoy it as well.

>>18109466
I saw her today. She said hello and I wanted to ask her out, but I couldn't speak. Kill me pls.

>>18113593
Community College... I only went to learn a trade then last minute they said I have to take all these ((pre required classes)) I dropped out immediately.

>>18113657
I've tried in the past to learn it but I can't concentrate to save my life. I'm thinking of getting a teacher because I at least want to improve or learn something new anyway. Maybe record It. Thank you how are you doing

Why are you telling me about the sexy parties you attend? Maybe you wanted me to imagine your costume (or perhaps the lack of one) but it just made me feel further away from you. No way would my goofy-looking ass get invited to one.

>Can't into art
>Can't into vidya
>Can't into life

I never last a week doing nofap. I tried fasting for lent season and I can't even last 2 days. I've quit my previous mmo and I'm still here being an autistic pos fuckckxoskakwkwssokaakms

when something really good happens to me, like something romantic or something academic, i get really happy, because this doesn't happen often to me

a few days ago, a girl i was interested in (who i thought was interested in me, after we spent a few nights together) texted and said that she thought about what she wanted and it wasn't going to work out. i'm still bummed.

plus my watch got stolen and my lecture hall caught on fire. the sad part of the last one was that i wasn't also on fire.

>>18113719
Did she just text or did you ever go out

I've been so damn happy lately and it feels so exhilarating.
This whole week has been really, really amazing, honestly. The best one I've had in a few months.

I wish I could tell everyone who made it so wonderful why I found it so wonderful and their parts in it, but I don't want to make them uncomfortable, so I'll post my thanks here:

Thank you so much, everyone! Thank you for coming into my life, and being the people you are!
You're (for lack of a better word) awesome!!

I keep having this really weird feeling about my boyfriend, and it's been bothering the hell out of me because I feel so conflicted about it.

It's like I have this nagging "gut" feeling trying to tell me to leave him, but I love him too much. I know I'd regret leaving him for sure. I tried sending him a "we need to take a break" text, and I couldn't go through with it. I can't pinpoint what exactly is causing it, but I'm willing to bet that it's anxiety.

I feel a little better when I'm with him physically, like there's not a doubt in my mind that I want him in my future. The anxiety goes away almost completely and I can enjoy the time that I spend with him. But then when I'm away from him, all these doubts keep flooding back, and it's really hard to ignore them and just put them on hold.

I'm not staying with him because I'm bored, or because I'm afraid of being completely alone. If we were to break up, I could easily find someone else, it wouldn't take long. But I don't want anyone else, he's the only one I want.

Depression has completely killed my sex drive. I just kind of have a "meh" feeling towards the idea of sex now, and that really bothers me

It just really sucks that I'm having these thoughts/feelings. My boyfriend is my life, and I'd be totally lost without him.

>>18113729
never went out per se, but it was more in person than text. 90% in person

You know how gruelling today was. It drained you as much as it drained me. And all the day all I dreamt of was to get close to you. Kiss your forehead, hug you and just stay there. It was never so intensive before. I'm happy. Every day I want you more and more. Your body and soul. At some point saying "I love you" won't be a promise I can't keep. I can't wait. I want to be with you. Wanted for half a year now, but I wasn't sure if it was love.

Soon, my beautiful future wife. Soon <3

>>18113787
If she's not interested immediately move on don't even be friends. It sounds harsh but otherwise you'll just be a fish one a hook

>>18113790
Good luck anon <3

>>18113453
Lucky guess.
I won't lie, I saw you looking at me then and there, but it just ain't gonna happen.

>>18112651
Umm because you've told me that you loved a different version?

>>18113427
I'm not messing with your life. If you're my B, just know you deserve everything that's happening. And I'm not the one causing it.

I wish those assholes next door would stop throwing fucking parties on a weekday. It's almost fucking midnight and that shit is still going on, I need to get up at 6. All I can hear is baseline BMM BMM BMM and people shouting and laughing outside. I want to go over so badly and tell them to keep it down, but I know realistically there's no way in hell that's going to happen, and things will just escalate.
I just don't understand the mentality of these people. How can they be so unfathomably selfish? Never felt so god damn angry in my life, I wish death on them all.

>>18109466
>I wish those assholes next door would stop throwing fucking parties on a weekday. It's almost fucking midnight and that shit is still going on, I need to get up at 6. All I can hear is baseline BMM BMM BMM and people shouting and laughing outside. I want to go over so badly and tell them to keep it down, but I know realistically there's no way in hell that's going to happen, and things will just escalate.
>I just don't understand the mentality of these people. How can they be so unfathomably selfish? Never felt so god damn angry in my life, I wish death on them all.
Anonymous call to the police. I do it to my annoying neighbors all the time.

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I wanna die.
Thinking of crashing the car into a solid structure at max speed. Car is a peace of shit so max speed will probably be 120km/h
Just need to figure out what to crash it into.
A nice advantage is that it would look like an accident.

>>18113849
you should join them once

A
lemme smash.
pls.

>>18113615
If only the person I sent them to would reply with something like that.

If only.
I'm glad they gave comfort to someone.

>>18113897
coming from someone who thought the same once, I want you to live, anon. find someone/somewhere in person you can get this off your chest instead of 4chan.

I lied about everything : of course I still think about you, of course I want to move away when you move out, all I do is play video games and feel depressed. I have no idea why you're still with him since you used to call me every week in tears because of him. Apparently I'm worth even less than that.

I don't even know if what you told me was true, if you truly had feelings and were truly lost or if it was just a trick to get me close and have a shoulder to cry on. I deeply want to tell you to fuck off so I can finally be happy, but I just can't get enough of you.

I also lie to everyone telling I'm fine and looking for a job or a study field, but I'm still lost and I find nothing of interest in the world, even video games bore me out. I just don't know what else I could do except kill myself, but I don't want to hurt my family and friends. I wish I could go to sleep for several years and wake up when everyone forgot about me. I don't want responsibilities.

>>18113844
No you really don't get it do you. You are causing this and it will fall to you when the lies finally collapse under their own weight. Best of luck to you.

Karen sos hermosa

>>18113636
I am an R.

Love you.

>>18112260
Not likely. An untreated urinary tract infection can lead to a kidney infection. Extremely painful. Did you take your antibiotics as prescribed and for the full course? If so, time for an STD check

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I like making threads about gfs/bfs cheating because its funny af because theres always a few shitposters who defends the cheater in some way and everyone gets triggered

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also im really glad my fucking faggot neighbors got evicted or something because they'd always smoke weed and itd literally be so strong thatd itd fill my entire apartment and this shit happened 5 days every day till they got the boot.

>>18114154

Initially after reading, I was angry and tell you to piss off. I told you how out of character jealousy was for me but with you, I can't control it. I was also hurt and sad that you've found someone else you want to build a life with. All of these emotions crashing within 5 minutes.

But then I calmed... Then I remembered you never opened up to me. I remembered how you never even attempted to share your life with me. And I remembered you never gave two shits about me.

So, essentially, I think I'm in a pretty good place and there's no room in my life, or in my heart, that I am willing to dedicate to you.

I just cut off the love of my life because I am planning on killing myself. I cannot bear to be here any longer. I broke up with them because I'm a piece of shit who is depressed and wants to die. I just want to be held by them and told everything will be okay. God fucking damn. I hate myself so much. Why did I have to be born? My mother should have had an abortion.

>>18114489
Sounds surprisingly like my suicidal girlfriend I just broke up with who sabotaged the relationship.

I just want to vent about how fat and ugly I feel to people who care about me, despite doing everything in my power to fix it. I've been steadily dropping weight for years. I'm in the best shape I've ever been. I don't feel good enough yet though, and I realistically do have a long ways to go.

I can't do this without seeming like an attention whore or like I'm compliment fishing, because I know all my friends and family are much fatter than me.
They'll just tell me to stop and tell me I'm beautiful, and blah blah blah but that's not what I want. I don't want the fake/empty compliments they're socially obligated to give as my friend. I just want them to listen and say "You're right, you still have some work to do and it sucks it's taking so long."

>>18114471
R ?
Now we all know Chief had no issues identifying herself....u continues to be the lame

>>18113719
I'm sorry that you didn't catch fire, Anon.

>>18113639
What?

>>18110270
You probably still wanna go to that therapist. Hearing this at all no matter how loud could mean something is going on in your brain. it just would probably be the rational thing to do. You got it bud

GAKMNCDYDSWHJIJOOUGTVHKKYDSSSDFGUBIOHHOJUPOVGHJGRSFFGHUURWAVBKPPJJIHGGF

>>18114535
Chief Keef?!!

>>18113615
Sounds like a messed up situation. Hope it works out but don't be too hard on yoUrself. It takes courage to identify your own wrongs. Hopefully he will see it that way.

>be me
>have one group of friends and then two best friends
>one of best friends is cousin, other one I met in 4th grade
>introduce 2 best friends to group
>all is good for a bit
>friend I met in 4th grade (let's call him AJ) starts acting different
>starts becoming an asshole
>he and I fight, friend group takes his side
>they kick me to the curb, essentially
>meet new group of friends
>sad about losing old friends, but new friends make me happy
>find out that new group of friends were talking bad about me with old best friends
>now I've lost two friend groups
>really depressed at this point, talk to nobody
>on my own for a few months
>meet pretty girl
>we talk all the time
>she's going through a rough patch, I want to help
>do my best to be there for her for months
>she's sad because her best friend ditched her, like all mine did
>her ex-best friends birthday is coming up
>she says she wants to wish her a happy birthday and write some long ass paragraph on Facebook
>I tell her that I would if I were her
>she says that she still considers her as her best friend
>really hurt by this, I was there for her for months when this chick abandoned her.
>tell her that maybe the reason she left is because she doesn't see you the same way
>she calls me an asshole and storms off
>hasn't talked to me since
>back to no friends again
>my social life is completely fucking ruined because of my two best friends

Should I just give up on making friends at this point? All this shit has changed me, I'm a completely different person than I was 6 months ago. I have hardly any empathy left in me.

I'm so excited to start putting music out with actual professional recording quality. I'm just bummed that I have no idea how to get people to listen to it

>>18112042
WOW, if you told someone to leave why should they stay? My god Such pity parties on here lol... Get some therapy if you loved this person you would contact this them...

You kids scare me a lot of times. I'm not lying, you lot are creepy af.

>>18109609
>these threads are allowed again.
>The janitor posted the last one apologizing for removing them, also mentioning how they give that sense of community, and that him removing them took away the community and made the board a 'job' for its users.

The fuck?

Is that why general type threads had disappeared? I haven't seen the NEET/shut-in thread for months.

Funny how inflammatory threads were left alone.

I'm about to go see a guy I might be interested in. I haven't had sex in a long time. I'm here absorbing the negative energy in this circle jerk of a letters thread (the last refuge of a scoundrel) so I can maybe flip it around to the good of the world. And maybe if I'm lucky some of that will ricochet onto me. I'll post the outcome later…

To my friends in general:
I don' t care anymore; you're all selfish dumbfucks who can't think about anything but when you're going to play Melee next. I'm not going to be mocked for my every decision by you any longer. No friends is better than shit friends in my opinion.

To Former Crush:
I was head-over-heels for you once. Then I learned just how shit of a person you are. You're a tumblrina SJW who thinks they are vastly more important than you really are. Also, sometimes people will disagree with you, there is no need to get all broody if someone says something that doesn't align with your communist ideals.

To Degenerate:
Just stop. In general, just stop.
Sit down and re-evaluate your life, and maybe you will realize that everyone thinks your an unfunny piece of shit.
I had to talk someone out of slashing your tires the other day, and I don't even know why I did so; I hate you just as much as everyone else does.

To "That Guy":
See Degenerate. Also, you may browse 4chan, but that doesn't make you special. Especially when you are a filthy phone-posting summerfag.

To A Genuine Friend:
I honestly don't understand what's wrong with you. Are you legitimately retarded, or are you autistic, or something similar?
Seriously man, you're one of the few people I actually care about, so I'm a bit concerned.

>>18114668
I've never related so hard... good luck out there
take care of yourself ...

i want to make you cum fucking everywhere lmao

>>18114686
You too anon, you too.

I just want to hear from you. Why don't you want to talk to me?

>>18114668
Been there. Good luck. It does get better.

I am so sorry yogi, I should have been stronger... I will never forgive myself. I was 16 and didn't have much of a choice... wherever u are I pray you are ok. I pray you know I wanted to keep you but wasn't strong enough to stand up to others around me. I pray you come back to me in another life. I'm sorry

I feel like I'm a failure at everything that's important.

I'm funny, but not funny enough to stand out unless it's me doing something stupid.

I can never bring myself to study enough to get the grades I want.

Every time I have an idea I start it but am never motivated enough to follow through.

I try to keep sex out of a relationship at first, but it always comes in before I want it to. Often even before we start dating.

I feel like I can't have an emotional conversation with someone until it gets to the absolute worst situation, and I feel like I'm not able to sympothize. Nobody knows any of this because I'm never able to seriously talk to people. I have plenty of friends and just about everyone seems to like me, but I'm not close to anyone.

I feel like the only thing I'm good at is being nice and video games,(which are useless) and I'm just okay at those.

I still read our last conversation, almost everyday. That's what holds me from trying to reach you again. I've told you more than I should. I feel ashamed, actually.
I really shouldn't have said all that stuff.
Vida que segue.

"Me being me"
Fucking ouch.

>>18114655
I'm watching you, thirst-chan.
Reply under me or yourself so I can watch the outcome.

I bet 15$ that it'll be optimistic.

I'm not gonna lie I have a good life but it just feels empty. I only have a few friends and the few I have I'm it sure how good of friends we really are anymore. I understand girls are not everything but I feel like having someone to be there for and be there for me would give me some meaning in life. I have no motivation to do well in school due to fact I don't see my life going anywhere of value. I just don't understand the idea of wanting to live for a long time and have a long life. All we do is work until we die and in the end nothing we did matters. It all just seems pointless but if I told anyone that they would think I'm Indians. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've taken medication I've tried drugs and drinking but non of it makes me feel better about myself or my life as a whole. It all feels pointless. I just want to not have any responsibilities. I've I could just lay in bed and never have anyone question me I don't think I would be happy but it would be more peaceful then having to face the reality that I'm going to be a failure everyday.

Two months ago, you were struggling to keep to your diet. You heard about the wonders of Keto. For the first couple of weeks, I watched you struggle and give up. In the last week of January, I came to you, and asked if you'd like for me to join you.

The following week(February 3rd), was our first day doing this. We agreed to stick to one week. We succeeded. We tried for another week, and we succeeded. The 3rd week was where you started to lag behind. I found out you cheated on your diet. I started asking questions, and you became a little defensive about it. I ensured you I was only looking out for you so we could keep doing this together.

Here we are, almost 2 months into this, and you've not only dropped out, you have blatantly gone against the promise we made to do this together. Not feeling like I could trust you with the more private and severe emotional issues in my life, I did some soul searching and sorted myself out so I wouldn't break the weight-loss change I've promised I would keep. It's not been easy, but I've done it. Any time we discuss progress, it's only me talking about how I'm down a couple more pounds, or I'm down an inch from my waistline.

What kills me the most is that you engage in blatant hypocrisy. You talk about the wonders of the Keto diet to everyone in person and on Facebook, yet you constantly break your diet by eating all the things you're not supposed to at a buffet. You waste hundreds of dollars on something you've branded a magic solution because it claims to work in under 3 hours. You see zero results, complain to me, then get upset when I tell you the truth.

It breaks my fucking heart that I have to let you go on this, mom. I can't keep you on the path if you don't want to be. I can't feel guilty when you don't want to be brought into the light of something you've battled your whole life. I tried to keep you on track, but you're too bitter and spiteful to stick with something you weren't alone in.

>>18111025
Off yourself, /fit/.

I don't think I can fix this. I don't think i can fix anything anymore. I'm sorry for what happened but I only tried to tell the truth. Maybe one day someone will understand why I did what I did.

What a fucking terrible workout. G-dd*amn it I'm so disappointed

>>18114983
I'd say "maybe they'll understand if you tell them" but I'm just an anonymous coward driving himself crazy reading these posts.

I care about all of you. There's nothing more than I want then have you happy. Not money or anything else, I just want everything to work out for you, because deep down you all deserve to be happy.

>>18115009
I did but no believes me. Whatever happens now from this point doesn't matter as people always think I'm lying anyway.

>>18115009
If I really was a coward, I wouldn't of stayed as long as I did.

>>18109466
When will he be MY TIME. I worked hard so I deserve to be free. I want to be free. I feel sick. I feel broken. I can't live this way for much longer.

I want him out of my life. But yet I do have feelings for him. But he has never contributed to anything positive to my life; only stress, anxiety, depression, anger, and shame.

I don't know what to do. Part of me is afraid to leave. I'm afraid of rejection and I'm afraid of being alone. I want to be happy. I just want to be happy. How can I be happy?

I thought I was going to die, I don't want to die, I felt the line.
DMT is a helluva drug

>1
I love you and I know that you love me. But I don't know how much longer I can do this. I know you have anxiety issues, I know you grew up in a broken home. I know you've been cheated on in the past and that you have trust issues. I know that you're trying to do better. I know that you're not always the person who you become when an anxiety attack comes out of nowhere.
But I've been patient. I've poured everything I've had into our relationship, only to be repeatedly hurt by you. You can be so sweet and so kind sometimes, but you're mostly not. You're mostly selfish and self-absorbed. I wish you could see how immature you are. I wish you'd see that not everything is about you, that when I say certain things, I was neither being critical nor was I talking about you. I wish you would consider my feelings when you shoot down everything I say or try to tell me how I feel about things.

I've been as patient as I can be. When, less than a month into our relationship, you sent sexy pictures in exchange for a video of one of your long-time internet friends jerking off, I forgave you. I felt like I was weak and that I should have ended it there, but I forgave you.

>>18115172
>2
When you ripped off the necklace I had given you, one that I had for a very long time and treasured dearly, and threw it into a lake because we had an argument, I forgave you. An argument that began over you being indecisive and blaming me because you were wanting to do something nice for my birthday. It's up to you to decide what we do, not me. Instead, you were selfish. And, on top of that, you whined and complained to me about missing "your necklace" and wanting me to get you a new one. And I was weak enough to do it for you.
When you went through my bag and threw away a picture of my friends that was taken fifteen years ago because you can't stand the fact that my friends are women, I forgave you. Every time you have a dramatic fit when I try to be professional at our job and don't hug you every ten minutes, I forgive you. When, during one of these fits, you smashed your phone and then started crying to me about it, I paid to help you get a new one. When our boss called me and told me I got a raise, you sneered at me. Instead of congratulating me and celebrating my success, you became jealous and said hurtful things. Yet, I forgave you. When you went out of your way to snoop through my journal because you were afraid I would write something about you, I forgave you. When, upon seeing the note I had left in my journal telling you to stop reading it, that it was disrespectful, you became upset at me. You cried and told me to get rid of it. And I did. When, the first time you were alone at my home, you went through my entire computer and all of my belongings because you were afraid I was hiding something, I forgave you. When I confronted you about it and you lied to me, I forgave you.

>>18115174
>3
When you repeatedly talk about marriage and "being together forever", even though I asked you to stop, that we've not even been together a year, I forgive you. When you constantly bring up my age and say that you want to start a family "before I get too old to do anything with them", I forgive you. When someone you used to know and repeatedly sent nudes to starts messaging you again, and you send him a "harmless selfie" because he asked you to, I forgave you. When you spot one of your exes at the gas station, and then you start texting and met up with him once, I forgave you. When you have to work in you previous exes hometown and meet up with him, I forgave you. When you still talk to the guy who cheated on his girlfriend with you, and, who I honestly believe you may have cheated on your ex with, I forgive you. When you constant berate and insult my exes, all of which I split with on good terms and remain friendly with, I ignore it.

I have been nothing but totally loyal and loving to you. Unlike you, I do not point out every kind thing I do for you so that you will praise me. Unlike you, when I compliment you, it's genuine and not because I want you to compliment me in return. I know all these are red flags and that I should just leave, but I refuse to acknowledge them.

I owe you and apology. I'm sorry that I'm too weak to leave you. I'm sorry that I'm so weak that I forgive you for putting me through an emotional rollercoaster. I'm sorry that I'm wasting your time, because I know one day that I will leave you. I'm sorry that I'm becoming broken like you.

>>18114413
Oh so it's you! I was wondering what the point of those fake as fuck threads were.

>>18114119
Decímelo en persona

>>18114413
Douche.

Messenger has this "My Story" thing since Snapchat wouldn't sell out to Facebook or something.

Either way, I'm spamming it with memes.

>>18109701

T H E R A P Y
H
E
R
A
P
Y

>>18110947
You should work on you, like working on making yourself happy rather than wanting to be aesthetically pleasing to others. And trust me once you like yourself, and are happier with yourself you will feel sexy like you used to

Honestly, playing a tv programme or video and expecting results is pretty lazy and stupid. Not to mention down right obvious.

>>18112193
Wow, different anon here that was all a crazy coincidence, yall should help one another

>>18114739
Thanks man. I'm graduating soon, so I'm hoping I have better luck wherever I go next.

>>18114612
Best Friends

and

People who matter most

Are totally different, you shouldn't be offended because she considers her old best friend to still be the person she wants to be her best friend. I'm certain she cared about you. Just use this as a learning experience, good people will come along.

>>18109466
MY FAVORITE LESSON IS MATH AND ENGLISH NO I DON'T WANT A PE LESSON WHERE WE DO LITEERALLY NO FUCKING THING LIKE WHY AT LEAST ENGLISH IS FUN FUCK YOU GUYS

>>18114634
SoundCloud, YouTube.
Good luck, it's cool that you're pursuing what your passionate about!! It's more that what a lot of these other guys are doing

>>18115054
>I want him out of my life. But yet I do have feelings for him. But he has never contributed to anything positive to my life; only stress, anxiety, depression, anger, and shame.
Get away from this guy femanon (or gay anon, I don't judge). I've been in your situation.
I loved this girl at college, despite us being polar opposites, and not in the two-sides-of-the-same-coin kind of way. Eventually, I realized that being in a relationship with her was killing me, and finally left her. It hurt, but I am much happier now.
DO NOT try to change him.

>Part of me is afraid to leave. I'm afraid of rejection and I'm afraid of being alone.
That right there is just your instincts trying to get you to procreate. Luckily, you are a human being; you can go against your instincts and find someone who is right for you.

>>18115054
Does he show signs of self change or growth?
If yiu honestly do care about him, and see that he has changed for the better, talk with him. You always have the power to leave if feel nothing has changed. You can always say "no". People can change for the better as well. Sometimes they just need to listen.

Communication is a very powerful tool, but it only works when both people are willing to talk and listen to each other.

>>18113074
Thank you for your kindness. I have moved on, hardly ever think of her and when I do, only the bad times come up.

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L.

Why did you have to look at me like that?
Your stupid handsome face looking up at me for less than 5 seconds over a stupid question and just like that I caught feelings.
I was content with being alone, I didn't want to rely on another person again but now you've gone and done this, and I really don't know what to do about it.
I've known you for years and always thought you were pretty nice, but this just blew everything out of proportion and you've just completely brought my world down.
To make matters even worse I'm pretty sure you're interested in someone else, just hurry up and shoot me down so I can move on with my life please, I can't bare this longing much longer, I'm sick of lying in bed holding myself or my pillow wishing it was you.

T.

Judging all of you

>>18114471
I am also, obviously, not your R.

Regardless, I don't want a place in her heart, she left.

I screwed up my chances with a potentially good girl who had a crush on me. I realized I liked her back too late and now she ignores my messages.

The guy I was sort of scheming on last night got sniffy because some guy from Sweden was messing around with me. i was really just trying to see if he really was from Sweden because he was so drunk he could barely talk. Dead giveaway was he was drinking Stella Cidre, which Only Europeans drink. Then I saw a girl and a guy I haven't seen in a while and I had a great time hanging out with them and then I went home. No sex. But that's okay because I publicly came out as celebate last year. I'm just so all out of game. Hurts a lot sometimes but dems da breaks.

>>18115680
I am in your situation and I don't know how to get over it.

>>18115680
Ha! Same situation here bro.

>>18112127
What did a child prodegy ever do to you? Honestly that's weirdly specific... I went to music school with a couple of piano prodigies they were alright.>>18114937

>>18115680
in order to avoid a situation like that i need to text her today
motivate me pls

I just realized that you are the most interesting person I know. And I know and have known some very interesting people. But you take the cake. I thought it was about sex but it not that since that won't happen again or the world might explode or something. Fuck.

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>>18115684
>>18115688
>>18115696

Thanks guys, its good to know i'm not alone, you guys wanna start a discord and discuss this stuff?

I think I just bombed an inteview that I was hoping would work out.

Fucking sucks. I should keep my head cooler next time, reflect where it all went wrong this time.

>>18115788
I would like to. Write me at
[email protected]

I'm trying not to consider who you've been fucking, i just wish it was me.

>>18109466
Girl I've been in love with for years just started dating my brother.
Could give more details but that's about sums up the problem.

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>>18115900

>>18115941
Fuck it I need to get more than just that off my chest.
It's not like I could even be with her. I'm in a long term relationship, from which I have a kid.
The last thing I would want to do is fuck up my life and tear apart my family.

I want her to be with someone and be happy. Just not fucking him!
But it's hardly my place to say who they should or shouldn't be with.

The other day when I spoke to her about it she called me her best friend. Best. Fucking. Friend.
I've known her longer than I have my girlfriend, and have pretty much always had feelings for her.
I had one shot at being with her and because she wasn't very mature (a couple years younger than me and we were 18/20 then) and another girl (a bit older) was pushing for me hard.
So I chose the other one. I chose wrong. It lasted like 6 months by which point she was in another relationship.

I've also been too much of a pussy to get in the way of her relationship, and when I finally gave up and got into my own relationship, she became single a few months later...
We've not been single at the same time since. I missed my chance.

I have no idea how to deal with that.

I can only see two ways in which this works out well:
They stay together and are happy for life and I get used to that idea and my feelings for her subside.
OR
They realise they aren't right for each other early on and call it off before they get too involved.

>>18115968
I don't want to hate my brother.
I don't want to lose her from my life.

I dont know what my deal is. I'm scared of change and yet I want to change. Myself, my job, my home just everything. I want my old friend back and there is no way of getting them back. I'm tired of drinking and bothering everyone. I don't know why I am the way I am. I feel like no one likes me. I feel like going m.i.a on social media for a while. I'm tired of chasing people I shouldnt be chasing. I dont know what to do anymore.

>>18115968

You actually need to get that out of the way in some way or you will be unhappy your whole life. Maybe tell your brother he might understand and stop dating her (so none of you have her) if it really hurts you.

I've been talking to an online friend of 8 months every day all day. She just suddenly vanished 2 days ago. She was going through a divorce and she said he was stopping by. I've tried messaging her on kik but it just gets stuck on "s" and I tried calling her twice but it just says that it's unavailable. I also tried texting the number directly and it says delivered. I don't know if something happened to her or if she just got tired of me and blocked me. It's eating me up inside.

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>>18115680
I feel you dude. Lost my best friend of 10 years cause of my babies momma. And everytime I get drunk I want to text her but I get scared. She blocked me on facebook and snap and Insta. I feel like we would be something right now if we were still talking. A chance I really wanted and I lost it all.

My long hair isn't dyed, I'm thin, have no piercings or tattoos, I dress in a traditionally feminine simple style, and wear neutral/natural makeup. I'm quiet, private, calm, and mind my own business, but I'm not shy and don't have any kind of social anxiety.

It must be the way I'm presenting myself but the only kind of men interested in me are the type of idiots you see on r9k. I dress and act the way I like so I don't want to change it but every dude that tries to get with me is an insufferable, sexist, "sapiosexual" type mouthbreather who thinks I'm ~not like the rest of those bitches~

I wish they would just fuck off. I dont want to change how I look or act just to deter them. They're the absolute worst people to date or even just befriend. Clingy, disrespectful, childish, and tons of red flags for being potentially abusive.

>>18116041
ey man, lemme know, join the discord chat I am making

>>18116083
What is discord?

>>18116045
You're very close-minded. You underestimate the variety of people that browse certain boards. Millions of people, compared to the minority that actually post, and the subset of that minority that you've allegedly encountered. The extent of your problems in which you have to rant about is futile and brash. Ignore them and take the lead on someone you're interested in.

t. /r9k/ browser

>>18116109
See what I mean?

>implying I don't pursue men myself
I still want you tryhards to leave me alone

I constantly watch myself to make sure I don't treat my boyfriend the same way you treated me. I know that abuse is a trickle-down kind of thing and I won't do that. I never want to be like you. I do not like or respect you. You were a defensive coward with a martyr syndrome. And you were mean. You were kind to nobody unless they could do something for you.

>>18116132
You didn't read my post.

Sjkiz

>>18116045
Same here!

After I left work today, I drove around for 45 minutes crying in my car because I'm such a worthless piece of garbage. I've let my life fall to shambles and I'm working hard to sabotage all the progress I've made to try and pick up the pieces. Now, I've got just 24 hours to pull myself together before my parents get here for my birthday celebration and my apartment looks like a tornado hit an episode of hoarders. I have no idea how to even begin to tackle this. I hate myself so fucking much.

>>18113790
>>18113802

After writing this yesterday I had a dream about us. Watching a play in a big theater. Being close. Kissing, hugging. I hoped I'd see you today. I didn't. And then I learned my friend got raped few months ago. I wish I could dream about you this night too. But I know I won't. I'm sorry.

I could use your company more than ever now.

>>18114119
Jodete narigon boludo. Deja de arruinar el internet.
:^^^^^^^^^^)

>>18114642
Welcome to late Millenials/early GenZeds.
Kill yourself

I dreamt of him the other night. It was when we first held hands. I felt such immense pain and I asked him to hold my hand. He took it and I felt peaceful. I felt safe. We cuddled in his backseat and it was then I knew I'd never stop loving him.

I still love him god damn and it hurts to wake up and remember he's gone

So I have been seeing this girls since the end of January, and I really like her, but she didn't want to be my gf until a couple of days ago.

I told her how i felt about her a couple of weeks ago. we were regularly meeting up and going on dates/hanging out, but last night, we were talking about the relationship and I asked if she was seeing anyone or had feelings for someone else, she said she was "talking" to a guy a couple of weeks ago, but later said they slept once.

I just stopped talking to her and we ended the night there without talking, and haven't really talked since.

Did I over react? I mean we weren't boyfriend/girlfriend at the time, but I can't but feel like she doesn't really want me.