In that weird transition between talking and "dating"

would it be bad to ghost him completely and remove him from all social media? I don't want to come off as bitter/hurt and we have a lot of mutual friends (all of which are better friends w/ him than me im the newest to the group)

how do i do this and keep things cool w/ the mutual friends who's company i enjoy a lot? he's kind of a pissbaby so i wouldn't be surprised if he were to talk shit about me to them...

>>18108059
That would be so shitty. If you want things to go faster you should make a move.

Maybe hold his hand or kiss him on the check next time you hangout. I remember my first girlfriend did that because I was so nervous.

The very next time we hung out I finally manned up and kissed her.

He's just nervous and if you really like this guy you should just give him a chance. Look back on your first boyfriend and remember how nervous you were.

He is in that position now.

>>18108070
I never had a bf but I had boys w/ experience interested in me and I can tell the difference easily.

I have thought of taking control and leading the way but the whole treating me like a bro pisses me off too much and I don't want to deal w/ that at all.

I think he doesn't know how to treat girls any other way. He did ask to kiss me on our last date after awkwardly asking me if it was okay then explaining how he didn't want to just go for it cause he thought it would be weird. Not sure if I want to deal w/ this anymore.

>>18107984
>Thoughts?
This is just lol
He is either not interested at all, gay or a fucking idiot, go attract some real man

>>18108059
Dont do this, this is bitch behaviour, just ask him "what do you want from me?"

>>18108099
Honestly think it's all three at this point.

>>18108109
I already know he likes me he told me already through fucking text btw. We see each other enough where he could easily say these things irl but he never does. When we hang out I make sure to let him know how I feel about him cause it feel more genuine that way (face to face). God, you just reminded me of how much it pisses me off that he only ever asks me out through text....

>>18108084
Different folks, different strokes I guess. Sounds cute to me.
If you truly hate it, maybe move on. But you can't "ghost" him and still be in that friend group. At least tell him you aren't interested.

>>18108247
It's cute to an extent but it's progressing to slow imo and I will be upset if it ends up being a waste of time

>>18108321
Then make a move. Kiss him first. That could potentially change him treating you "like a bro" too.

My experience was similar to >>18108070
Bf said he'd been trying to work up the courage to kiss me. So when I had a good chance to, I kissed him.
Next time he initiated and we made out.

>>18108371
i was raised that men should kiss girls and do everything for us. i just don't know what to do anymore. ty for advice tho

>>18108371
I think you might be on to something...I do notice he is more affectionate when I open up first. Hell, all it takes is me acknowledging him for him to start bothering me. Wow, maybe i'm the one not showing enough interest....

Kind of tired of always having to make the first move though.

>>18108378
fuck off, you're not op.

Oh I don't know maybe DRINK like fuck do people not get that? But the guy seems a little lame or perhaps he's actually really smart but has no context to it like you wouldn't talk about math on a date. Treating you like a bro is kind of interesting. If he's never had a gf he clearly just isn't in touch with that part of him at all and sometimes you have to work backwards like you guys should be fucking so do that and then kiss and then talk and then flirt

Please leave this guy alone. You sound like an insufferable cunt.

If you want Chad thundercock then find a Chad thundercock. If this guy has little experience and is intimidated either accept that or fuck off. Stop shit talking him to everyone.

>>18108391
He can't drink cause of meds he's on also he's not that bright, very average in most regards. He likes politics though but that's not something i'd want to discuss personally but I might try to bring it up because I know he likes it.

I actually thought about skipping right ahead to fucking but it has it's cons...
>>18108393
I'm only saying whats on my mind cause this is /adv/ and I want to be honest.

>>18108406
You're retarded, if its bothering you so much why don't you fucking kiss him already or take charge or help him out of his shell? Jesus OP you a bitch. And why does it fucking matter if he only asks you out by text.

>>18108379
He just sounds anxious. He wants to know you're into it and not bother you too much. When you give him attention first, he knows you're interested.

Also you can just sort of flirt/tell him what you want.
>"Next time you should just kiss me, don't ask ;)"
Or whatever it is.

>>18108411

I'm sick of carrying all the convos already, now I have to fucking teach him how to relationship? I know the basics, but it's still the blind leading the blind. If I go ahead and do this will this continue through out the whole relationship? Me coddling him and teaching him how to show affection to people he likes? When does it end?

>why does it fucking matter if he only asks you out by text.
It's concerning especially if I see them enough to where you shouldn't need to do that.

>>18108427
Yeah that's actually exactly what I told him. When it feels right just go for it. Then he went of a mini sperg rant about how he didn't want to be weird.

I guess I should take more control

>>18108429
> I know the basics, but it's still the blind leading the blind. If I go ahead and do this will this continue through out the whole relationship? Me coddling him and teaching him how to show affection to people he likes? When does it end?
He just needs a push, its probably his first time and he's never done this before. Its better that he is reserved than over the top. Give him a chance and kiss him. You have to learn that in a relationship, you sometimes have to help by guiding or reassuring your partner. It is responsibility as much as it is fun. If you have a self serving mindset you have no business being in a relationship. When will you kids learn?

And for fucks sake, if you want something go for it. Don't wait around for the other guy to catch a fucking hint, we're not mind readers you know.

>It's concerning especially if I see them enough to where you shouldn't need to do that.
Does it matter, really? Think about it rationally. It is just another mode of communication. I myself have dated dozens of girls over the past few years and I usually do it by text. Why? Because its far more convenient than calling. And besides, talking on the phone sucks compared to face to face. Do you want to hear someone stuttering over the phone?

Seriously, next time you're alone just kiss him once and see what happens. You might unlock a certain part of him that he was too scared to get in touch with and you might not regret it. And if it doesn't work out, then whatever just end it and move on.

>>18108393
She does sound like a cunt
OP, that guy doesn't owe you shit, you're fucking immature to talk such dirty shit about him behind his back, you're fucking bad, did you ever take a minute to sit down and fucking take a look at your own behaviour? no? not surprised.

vapid cunt just politely tell the guy you're not interested and no hard feelings, you don't need to hate everybody you ever dated just because you're not dating anymore

>>18108445
Solid advice, thank you anon.

>>18108466
I obviously wouldn't say any of this to his face or anyone I know that's why come here to ask. Wtf are you on about? I never said he owed me anything.

>>18108473
you act so fucking entitled here in this thread, and here you let us all know your true thoughts, you can't hide your true nature from that guy It'll come out eventually. If already now by the 8th date you're so fucking pissed and feel like you're leading him by the hand and teaching him how-to-relationship and it pisses you off - STOP DOING IT! Trust me, things won't get better from here they'll only get worse, guy sounds very inexperienced and you sound very demanding and controlling honestly.

>>18108479
Good point honestly. But in my defense I only just realized he never been in a relationship when I recently asked him (8th date). So now that I know this It's somewhat understandable.


HOW AM I ACTING ENTITLED?

>>18108493
Well the entitlement comes from you talking trash about his inability to perform normally in a relationship and getting pissed about it when:
1 He doesn't owe you anything
2 You're already aware that he's not what you're looking for

So as you said, now with these two things in mind, channel your anger to other places because we've all been at that point of not knowing what to do, we all took a first step in our lives, some of us evolve faster and some take longer but the important thing is to empathize with these people and respect them, so instead of being mad at him understand him, tell him nicely that you're not feeling it and It's not going to work out, personally I believe you shouldn't blame it on his inexperience when you tell him, for the sake of not making this guy doubt himself and hurt his self image because he does sound very emotionally immature, sending you texts telling you that he likes you but not saying it to your face indicates he is very insecure, and also very fragile. If you just tell him you're not feeling this and end it at that - that will be the best thing for both him and you, he will realize that you simply didn't want it, and that is true. The reason behind it doesn't matter, because feelings aren't some puzzle you can solve with steps, if you weren't feeling it you weren't feeling it and you can tell that to him and all of your friends if they ask you about it.

glad you found my previous advice useful, maybe you're not too bad after all. But you should really cut down on the shit talking, it doesn't matter if It's an anon forum or a room full of people - you are made of the sum of all your parts, of all facets of life, and this is one of them. If you shit talk someone in a private anonymous forum he might never know about it, but you will, and It's important to be honest with yourself. After all you wouldn't want to end up with someone who talked shit about you behind your back, they could repeat the behavior

Good luck!

>>18108806
Not OP, >>18108445 here, I agree with you on the shittalking part. It says more about the OP than it does him. Its like by shittalking him she's reducing her responsibility of her wanting to leave him. I was a lot like the guy she's posting about, and all I ever needed was a push. Instead I was humiliated, shittalked, and treated like a dog and it took me years to finally get my shit together and become well adjusted to this stuff. I was changed through a negative experience. Still, I wish she was more forgiving and understanding and helped give me a push. I think that would have given me a positive experience to grow from. Ah well, shouldnt dwell on the past...

>>18108857
Yeah exactly dude, I'm sorry to hear about your experience, I had the feeling she came here for validation and to affirm her anger towards that dude so that It's easier to separate from him, you know how in her first post she asked about the possibility of ghosting him (???) and generally seems pretty angry, that kind of shit can really hurt a guy's self esteem and break him as you know very well

So OP take notes, be positive, he doesn't owe you a relationship and if you don't want one you can walk away without leaving a steaming pile of shit in his heart.

op here, I asked him out today and we talked a lot about our lack of communication it was great and we made out a bunch

want to thank all of you for the advice
>>18108857
>>18109041
ya'll are right i was being a cunt and i realize that it's because I'm just as inexperience as him and it's easier to ruin something before it blooms

also any tips for kissing? i fucking suck at it apparently like it felt really messy and i couldn't stop making sucking/smacking noises

>>18107984
If you like somebody, make an effort.

Tell him how you feel. If you can share this with us, you can share it with him.

>>18109467
thanks but read >>18109440

>>18109440
Damn really glad it worked out for you at the end.
I'm the guy who wrote >>18108806
>>18109041
>>18108466
>>18108479

It feels great to help people on /adv/, there's a lot of people here not helping but antagonizing so I'd like to thank everyone too, success thread :D

#Make/adv/EvenGreater