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fuuuuuuuuuuuck help /adv/
Im fucked in the head and I dont know what is wrong me. Its like by body doesn't let me feel happiness. Im horribly depressed and have been for years and whenever I feel happy it lasts a couple of hours occasionally - maybe once a fortnight but after a few hours I start to get really easily irritated and the smallest thing sets my mind off. By the next day im in a furious state telling myself how stupid I am and how im an idiot and worthless. then any small thing that doesnt go right (firefox could crash for a sec, i drop somthing) triggers me to start self harming. Punching myself in the face, slamming my fists on the surface im next to really hard and fast, headbutting a wall. I then isolate myself. this means 80% of my time I cant enjoy anything I do be it playing video games, playing guitar, driving because im in such a state. I keep it hidden from work and can function fine there without any physical outbursts I just keep it in my head, same when im with my friends but this makes it build up and build up so when im alone I get reallllllly bad and actually scream at the small things. I would never ever harm another person and its entirely self directed.
im waiting to see a therapist but thats another few months away and things are getting worse. I want to kill myself honestly I dont want to live my life like this. I grew up relatively normal considering the disadvantaged upbringing I had.
wtf is wrong with me. Has anyone experienced anything similar?
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YEah you need to see a therapist way sooner than you planned on.
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>>18107690
its been this way for months now too I hate it and I hate myself for being this way. I can't speak to my friends about it either because I don't want them to know me like this. this is not who I am. Girls shouldn't be like this. I need a fuckin hug
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>>18107700
No one should be like that. Like I said, you gotta see a therapist sooner rather than later. That shit isn't healthy.
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>>18107700
Your friends will not think any less of you for reaching out for help. Things like this are not uncommon.
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>>18107704
Unfortunately I only make enough money to cover my bills so cannot pay to see one sooner. are there any free over the internet services that could assist me or tide me over untill then? I live on my own which doesn't help and cant stay with family
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>>18107709
There are always strangers over the internet to talk to, but as for professionals, that likely isn't going to happen. Lots of places to vent on the internet like reddit, here, tumblr, etc.
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>>18107709
7 Cups of Tea
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>>18107714
Thank You
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