>girlfriend asks if I'd like a certain hair color >be

She cares less about you than whoever put it into her head the idea to color her hair

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>mfw you just got shit tested and you fucking failed

it's almost like she was curious about how you feel about it and not actually basing her decision solely on your response

It's not that big of a deal so it's good you're not upset or paranoid about it. But consider that her being attractive to you evidently isn't high on her priority list. Might cause some problems down the road.

>>18107117

>What was the point of even asking me?

Holy shit kid, okay.

Have you ever been trying to decide between something, maybe a game or two different entrees at a restaurant, you ask someone's opinion and when they choose an option for you you suddenly decide you want the opposite? It has nothing to do with your respect for that person or their opinion you just knew as soon as they picked one that the other sounded better?

The point of asking was to gain outside perspective and use that to make a decision, not to follow whatever you said 100%.

Are you seriously this dense that we need to explain the process of decision making to you?

>>18107161

>But consider that her being attractive to you evidently isn't high on her priority list.

I don't understand how holding your own opinion of yourself over that of other people, even your significant other is some kind of relationship betrayal, especially about something as trivial as a hair color.

You wouldn't let your S.O. completely dress you, correct? How is this any different?

>>18107176
You're misunderstanding me. It's not a big deal. But if my boyfriend started packing on pounds and dressing like a slob and generally doing things he knew would turn me off, I'd simply think he doesn't really care about being attractive to me.

It's definitely not a big deal or a betrayal but it does show their priorities to an extent.

>>18107179

>packing on pounds and dressing like a slob and generally doing things he knew would turn me off

Gaining a lot of body weight, neglecting personal hygiene and systematically behaving in a way that upsets your significant other for the sole purpose of turning them off is nowhere near comparable to dying your hair a color they don't necessarily enjoy.

None of the things you listed can be equally measured to OP's issue in severity or intent.

>It's definitely not a big deal or a betrayal but it does show their priorities to an extent.

Everyone's priority, when it comes to self-esteem and self-care should be themselves. At the end of the day you have to look in the mirror and feel good about yourself. If your significant other was really a mature, self-aware and empathetic partner they would rather sacrifice one small part of your physical appearance that they don't necessarily enjoy so that you feel better about yourself.

My girlfriend has a nostril piercing that I don't particularly enjoy but at the end of the day I'm a reasonable adult and I know that making concessions is a part of a relationship. I would rather she look in the mirror and like what she looks than guilt her into modifying every tiny detail about herself based on what I find attractive.

Its one small thing. If OP had said that she was making a pattern out of this then it would beg a bigger conversation about compatibility but to say that pleasing him is not a priority to him because she knowingly made one minor fashion choice he doesn't enjoy is a far reach and you know it.

>>18107201
>
Its one small thing. If OP had said that she was making a pattern out of this then it would beg a bigger conversation about compatibility but to say that pleasing him is not a priority to him because she knowingly made one minor fashion choice he doesn't enjoy is a far reach and you know it.

Yeah that's what I was trying to say.

One incident doesn't mean you're low on their priority list. But if it keeps happening it's definitely a sign.

>anon, what do you think about tattoos?
"not a fan, why?"
>my friend wants to get a butterfly on her lower back
"she's retarded, that's the worst type of cliche tramp stamp... TRAMP STAMP"
*two days later*
>anon, don't be mad....

Because she wanted it anyway and just wanted you to say "yes dear". Everyone does this, so don't worry.

If she's often doing things she knows turns you off then it's a problem.

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>>18107215

Changing your hair color and getting a permanent tattoo isn't even remotely comparable.

Even in your tattoo scenario, the girl would be completely in the right for doing something to her body that boosts her self esteem and you would be completely in the right for breaking up with her should you no longer think her look is compatible with what you're looking for in a partner.

This whole thing is just about whether or not two people are compatible. If you continually have to stop yourself from doing things that will make you happy just to maintain your compatibility with your partner then you two shouldn't be dating, period.

I bet you'd prefer it if she listened to everything you said and ran every decision by you

>>18107233
Where are you getting this from? I'm not angry or upset over it at all. She can do whatever she wants with her hair.

I'm just curious why she would even ask me if she was going to do it anyway? It's a huge turnoff for me but it's not that big of a deal. She'll dye it to something else in a few months anyway. I am 100% not upset/annoyed/angry or whatever with her. That'd be stupid, it's her hair and it'll be gone in a month or two anyway.

>>18107216

Yeah generally I do feel like she doesn't put a lot of effort into looking attractive for me. Sometimes I'm like "I really like that shirt you're wearing it looks very nice on you!" and then she wears it like once every other month.

>>18107231
>Changing your hair color and getting a permanent tattoo isn't even remotely comparable.
Yes, they are.
They're both ruining the natural look.

>>18107256

She's probably asking because she cares about your opinion and just wants you to know too. I mean, that's why the answer doesn't matter.

Sometimes I ask my friends about stuff that I want to do / get, but I've already decided that I'm doing / getting it. It's kind of normal I guess. It's a good thing, I think, although it seems pointless. The other scenarios;

>Getting it done without telling you
>Not getting it done because you don't like it

Are pretty week, I'd be worried if my girl did those two.