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I'm a 23 year old gay guy. I feel like I've slept with few people, only three, albeit over the course of only four years. All three of the people have been important in my life. Also my periods of intimacy with these people didn't overlap much, so I suppose I've been "monogamous" mostly although only one was a relationship.
It's hard for me to define why, but I'm very uncomfortable with what I deem "casual sex"- uncomfortable with it being associated with homosexuality, uncomfortable with the idea of pursuing it (although on a lot of levels I'm pretty down), and very uncomfortable with my close FWB's occasional sex with other people- jealousy on some level, sure. But it's more than that, I feel like I want to preserve some sort of "meaning" and I'm frightened of the relationship of sex and meaning and the implications of actions... but what does that all mean is a lingering question. It's all pretty hypocritical anyway because by many definitions my own sexual activity is casual- outside of relationships in instances after all.
So I wonder what I should do. I feel fairly alienated from gay people, but I wonder why. I don't want to alienate myself by sitting on some BS "moral high ground" when I can't define an actual moral reason to be more prudent. So I wonder if I should just fuck some guys to get off my high horse, if that's what it is. But at the same time, it sort of sounds fun, but it mostly is really depressing. What do?
Also, why would I be uncomfortable with casual sex?
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How about you don't let what other people do define you?
Who gives a fuck if the majority of faggots want to be complete sluts, that doesn't mean the rest of us can't be normal.
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>when I can't define an actual moral reason to be more prudent
Opportunity cost.
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This isn't really down for discussion, because no one here knows your innermost deepest emotions but you. It's part of your personality to yearn for genuine romantic affection and there's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to go and fuck a load of dudes just because you perceive it as necessary to be part of a nebulous culture broadly defined by gender and sexuality. You will just regret it.
If you read about gay culture in the 80s, the climate of promiscuity grew hand-in-hand with cultural and political isolation, gay kids got drawn into it because it was like a family when no one else would accept them, but lets be honest here, the gay scene is breaking apart because homosexuality is finally getting equal rights and mainstream acceptance in our society - the one thing that held the gay community together, political activitism, is no longer so important - people are realising that they can be gay and also an individual.
On one hand, it's sad that a sub-culture is dying off, but on the other it means there will be more gay people like you who don't feel compelled to stay part of the gay scene just to stave off loneliness.
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>>18105108
Here's the thing... everyone has their own definition of relationship, intimacy, casual and committed. Yours is no less valid than anyone else.
Personally, I'm somewhat like you. I want fuckbuddies on a serial monogamous basis and would prefer my fuckbuddy be the same way. But I can be casual with a fuckbuddy without the emotional tie-in to a relationship. This works for me, but it won't work for someone who, for example, wants to play the field or someone who can only have intimacy along with an emotional relationship.
So do your thing your way and relax.
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