My boyfriend is going to europe for a month by himself and I'm

> I already have anxiety and insecurity and this is just way past my limits
Why? What are you afraid of? Has he done shit in the past? Why can you not come? Is he going alone? Why does he need to "find himself"?
Jeez, if you are looking for advice, atleast provide *some* info.

>>18104700

>>18104700
Afraid he'll cheat, irrational thing like afraid he'll get bored of me
He's never done anything wrong
He says I can't because he wants the freedom to do whatever and find himself and that it's important before settling down.

>>18104703
> He says I can't because he wants the freedom to do whatever and find himself and that it's important before settling down.

Dont really know the guy, but it sounds and awful lot like him saying "i want to screw a bunch european broads before eventually thinking about something more serious with you." Or it could be that he needs some space to figure things out.
For how long have you two been together and how old are you?

Sounds like he has personal issues that you never picked up on or that you ignored. If you're afraid he'll cheat on you, then you don't have the level of trust needed to "settle down"

>>18104687
If it's past your limits, then dump him. If you don't dump him, then it is obviously within your limits. Either you trust him to not fuck around, or you don't. You can't control a person you're in a relationship with. You either trust them, or your don't.

>>18104716
I don't think he'll cheat but he never has a good answer for why I can't come. If it was he and his friends I'd feel better but alone seems just wierd.

We're 26 and 27 and together 4 years.

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>>18104687
Give him some time. If you are depending solely on your relationship in order to keep anxiety and insecurity at bay, then you are not doing yourself justice.

Find your inner strength, enjoy the time with him that you have and take pleasure into his enjoyment of the trip abroad. A month is only a month.

As for trust, you should trust that everything goes well. it is human nature to want to be in control of everything, including this situation. It is difficult, but not impossible, to let go.

Stay in touch with him, but give him freedom to do as and when he pleases when he is abroad.

Believe in me that when I say, he will come back a better man and your relationship will be all the more strong.

>>18104726
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

>>18104721
I understand that. I want to stay with him but how can I deal with something like that. I can barely handle parties and such. I know I have issues

>>18104703
I would focus on yourself
Self improvement etc
It's what I do whenever I fight with my gf
He's probably gonna cheat on you though lol
"find himself" obviously means "find himself some fresh pussy"

What are you expecting us to say? That he's a jerk for leaving you behind? Would you like us to talk to him and tell him to reconsider? Fuck, he's gonna do what he wants (and so can you). Obviously he's more important to you than you are to him. No sense worrying, or trying to keep him around if he does end up "finding himself" because there's not much you can do aside from finding YOURself.
This is the same advice I would give a man

Make sure he gets an STD test when he comes back

>>18104687
Where are you from?

The only reason I would care about my GF coming on holiday (aside from her not being able to afford it), would be if I intended to get some ass.

Based on everything you say, hes going to hit it if he gets the chance. It is denial to think otherwise.

>>18104726

The problem is that, as many have said, it could be that he has serious inner problems that he wants to fix, or he just wants to fuck girls. It could be either way. We don't know him, that's for you to decide OP.

Having said that, if he really wants to "find himself" is obvious that he should do it alone. It's the logical thing to do, I dont understand how this surprises you, you don't do that kind of thing in a vacation with your family and friends. He ovbiously wants some time alone.
The fact that he doesn't want to go with his friends either just suports the idea that this is serious for him. How could it make you feel better if he were going with his friends? That just pokes holes in his story.

>>18104820

Holiday and "finding yourself" are two diferent things you superficial cunt.
Is he planing in cheating his friends too for not going with them either?

The fact that so many people in this thread don't understand why someone would want a time alone away from everyone other than yo have sex just says how vapid some of you are.

>>18104687
>He wants to find himself
Correction: He wants to find himself another vagina. Mystery solved.

>>18104687
1. Go out with friends.
2. Get drunk.
3. Find someone to bang.

>>18104687
>I already have anxiety and insecurity
Honestly, with your 26 years on the clock have you never thought about breaking free from those character flaws?
You guys are together for four years now and it never crossed your mind to improve yourself? It ain't really a tough beast to conquer.

>>18104833
This
>4 years of relationship
>getting to hie thirties
Dude is probably wonderimg what to dp with his life next. I'm pretty sure he and OP are either living together or thinkin about it and have probably talked about having kids. He needs some time to think by himself and not feel pressured into a decision.

>>18104687
>>18104687
I'm 22 male and have a girlfriend of 4 years, I am also planning to go travel to some faraway place to find myself, and no, it does not mean that I'm tired of my girlfriend nor want to cheat/find another girl. I am very faithful towards my girlfriend but I just really need some fresh air, I want to go out and get away from society and the usual things that bring stress. More importantly, I want to find out what to do in life and what job/career is right for me, traveling might help as you find new people, you find some jobs you never thought of etc.

Don't worry, if you trust him enough and he seems clean (personality and history in the relationship), then let him go. He probably really needs to find himself but your insecurities are pushing you to become selfish and think that it's all about you and that he doesn't want you anymore.

Find a hobby or something that will take your time and find some good friends, hang out in places where you'll find a lot of friends as they tend to keep you from your insecurities when your mind is busy with them.

Get over yourself. Being separated for a month a chump change. Life goes on, days pass and if you can't handle being apart maybe you should reevaluate yourself.

I can see why you're concerned, but maybe this is a good time for you to also find yourself while he's away. Find a new hobby, practice a new skill, go out into nature and find interesting things on the ground, learn a new recipe, etc. Really take this time to practice some self love, don't live in the past or the future. What's important is what you do now. Idk if you trust him or not but give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure you'll be able to tell if he's slept with other woman. Also, maybe you should set up scheduled times to skype him or something?

>He wants to find himself
Lmao yes he's going to cheat.

>>18104918
Are you 13?

>>18104687
It is an amazing experience.
Travelling alone pushes your boundaries, you're forced to get out of your comfort zone. It's an adventure.

I travelled alone plenty, my boyfriend did as well, and it made us stronger as a couple because it made us ultimately better people.
Try to do the same in a smaller scale - go hike alone, go on a weekend trip on your own, experience things by yourself.
It seems like you could use some "finding yourself" too. It helped me greatly with my anxieties.

>>18104687
>He wants to find himself
What a fucking nerd. As if simply travelling elsewhere will lead to some great personal revelation. Goddamn, there is always some asshole who thinks a leisurely trip abroad will somehow make him grow as a person.
For fucks sake, if he wants insight into his own nature he needs to actually take the time to look inward rather than go on a glorified field trip.

>>18105218
he could still "look inward" abroad dumbass holy fuck

you are as dumb as him

perfect match :)

>>18105226
Of course he could, anon. He could do it anywhere if he wants to. That's my point. The travel portion is unnecessary. It isn't going to open him up more than anywhere else. If he wants some relaxation time to himself, cool nothing wrong with that. But he doesn't need to spin this asinine "I gotta find myself" narrative to do it.

>>18105218
But this is simply untrue.
While travelling alone isn't necessary to have some personal growth, being outside of your routine, of your house, of your daily life, of your comfort zone forces you to think outside of the box, to use skills you rarely use. It might trigger thoughts you would never have had if you kept doing the same thing all the time.
For the same reason, it is very useful to clean up the environment around you, to move furniture, or to change job. An external change leads to an internal change.
Sitting at home reflecting rarely makes you have extraordinary changes, doing new experiences does.

>>18105218
actually being in a new or unfamiliar setting changes perceptory neural gating and can allow for a greater degree of awareness and consciousness, allowing the experiencer to excise greater control over reality

>>18105259
shoot yourself in the head you low iq filth

>>18104687
>I'm not allowed to come
uhhh....why?

If he's trying to find himself shouldn't that include you in some way?

Never take /adv/ice at face value because we never have proper context but that's a red flag if I ever saw one

Honestly I get that he has some kind of wanderlust and wants to find himself, it's natural. Be a big girl for once and show him that you can allow him that freedom, because you seem like an handful if you're already freaking out over something that hasn't happened. Take the time alone to deal with your own insecurities so you don't have to rely on your boyfriend to be your white knight.

sounds like he wants to shag underage pussy. sorry OP. You just gotta either leave him or deal with the fact.

>>18105267
If travelling is meant to push him outside of his comfort zone, it is necessary to do it alone. Bringing a partner with you ruins the purpose of the trip.

>>18105019
No, but his explanation is textbook bullshit.
>"I'm just trying to find myself honey xoxo"
Ridiculous. It's almost stereotypical. I suspect some of the people ITT are trying to help cover his ass to facilitate the cheating, as well.

>>18105339
ur fully psychoing

you and op should be lesbians so you can control eachother's behavior, be codependent and paranoid together

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>>18105339
This is what happens when you ask a Korean Lithography Imageboard for a balanced and healthy perspective.

>>18105262
Lmfao. Look at the little man projecting.
It's so cute!