hello /adv/ This one might be quite long. It has some happy

>>18102487
Her true father was only at home for one or two days a year. Her mother was of course not very happy and rather overwhelmed with Rio and her two siblings.
At some point her parents divorced. And her mother married the best friend of her ex-husband(yep that's weird, but trust me it gets "better"). The new husband brought in another 3 children.
So a household with 6 children in japan is very unusual. They didn't have a lot of money and space(japan duh) and after a while the stepfather and mother also started fighting a lot.
Now Rio said to me that she was a "bad child" when she was small. Her mother slapped and choked her. Said horrible things to her. Wouldn't let her into the house when she was "bad".
I think all that shit indoctrinated Rio to actually believe that “she was bad”.

With 15 years Rio started selling herself. She told me that pretty early and with that I mean before she told me about her life and all the bad things. At that point I thought “oh wow you got yourself one of those schoolgirl prostitutes”. In japan it is rather common for schoolgirls to do compensated dating and sell themselves for sex. They usually get money, clothes, jewelry, or cellphones from their clients. So for the most part they do it for materialistic and selfish reasons. And naturally I thought that would be the case with Rio.
However she doesn't have nice clothes or jewelry. She isn't even interested in that. She looked rather tomboyish.
She sold herself to get money for her family, especially for her siblings. To pay for food. School fees, gas bills, and other stuff.
And the people she sold herself often weren't just some guys who wanted sex. Some choked her until she lost consciousness. Some wanted to watch her while she cut herself.
So yes, all that cutting eventually came from the pressure and shame of selling herself and how she was treated by her mother. She also had thoughts about killing herself.

>>18102494
She thought since she was “a bad child” it's not a problem to sell herself. Her body is not worth anything at all so she can cut it for stress relieve. The only important thing, the only task she has is to support her family.

She did that for over 5 years. I met a lot of people in my life but I never met someone who is actually willing to destroy him or herself just to treat her siblings well. And she loves them dearly. I am 100% sure that if anyone would ask her if she would die for them she would say “yes” immediately and mean it. She always talk about them as if they were a treasure. Which is understandable. They might be the only good thing in her life.
When she wasn’t helping at home or selling herself then she studies law at the university. She also speaks excellent english which is very unusual for many japanese people. However her family had to take a huge loan to be able to send her to a university. And that of course puts more financial pressure on her family and Rio herself.

This is basically what I got out of her that night. We met over the next weeks and months. We watched movies. Went sightseeing. Ate good food. Talked and got intimate.
And we fell in love with each other.
The first thing I wanted her to do on the very first day is to stop selling herself and to stop cutting. I also wanted her to make an AIDS and sexual disease test(she had some before) to see in what condition she is and if we need to take care of something. Thankfully she was in good condition. And she stopped selling herself under the condition that is won’t leave her alone.
But she still cuts.
Last night she did it again. But it's getting better. I could convince her that she has to take care of her body, that she has to love it. And even though it is hard for her she is trying. She isn't cutting herself as much anymore. Maybe once every few weeks and it's getting better and better.

>>18102501
In december 2016 I had to return to my home country. I told her that I love her. That she actually was the first girl I fell in love with because I was so fascinated by her kindness and intelligence. But I also told her that a relationship from one part of the world to another is almost doomed to fail. And she knew that.
But still we wanted to try it.
So we made a promise that if we still stay in contact and love each other until august then she will use her semester break to come to my place. I will pay half of the costs. And once she is here I will tell her that I not only love her but that she is my girlfriend. I wanted her to use the months to save some money but most of all to make sure that she wants this kind of long distance relationship. I encouraged her to ask herself if she wouldn’t rather have someone who can be there for her every day and make her happy. I would hate to lose her. But I would hate it even more to make her wait for that guy on the other side of the world.

There is still a lot of work to do. Things get better, but not necessarily easier. I wish she could go to a therapy but she doesn’t have the money for that. She now works part time at a supermarket. She likes the work and her coworkers a lot, but she obviously doesn’t get as much money as if she would sell herself.
She has good days and bad days. Days were sadness, frustration and self-doubt overwhelm her. Days were I can’t stop her from hurting herself. Or days were her low self esteem stops her from being able to do anything.
But it is getting better. She is more stable and happy than before and we write and speak everyday. And we both look forward to august.

>>18102503
If you guys have any ideas, any advice how I can help her even more please let me know. I think we already tried a lot and talked a lot about what we can do but maybe we have simply overseen something. If you have questions then please ask.
And if you don’t have anything: Thank you for reading and please have a nice day.

If you feel she is the one don't let her go always motivate her text her at work talk about your days. I am pretty confident that you do this thing I told you to but if not do that and every once in a while have a video chat tell her she is the one and that you love her promise to protect her and tell her you have faith in her. It will motivate her
P. S. If you guys move forward let me know please I like seeing people happy
My kik is

>>18102909
We are doing exactly that. Sometimes especially in the hard day's I have the feeling it's not enough. As if I should do more. But maybe it is better to not force things or to take it easy. I don't know I have never been in such a situation therefore I am often not sure if I have found the right balance.

This is the first time I SPRINTED home for any thread from my bus stop -- as soon as it got there, I ran the three blocks and got home practically out of breath, but hey, this kind of gay, sappy shit does that to me.

Well fuck, Anon. You're a regular knight in shining armor -- but don't let it get to your head. Fucking with you, of course. Man if you don't have a heart of gold I don't know who does. A lot of people might have ditched her then and there, soon as they saw the cuts and heard the crying and everything. Maybe you're a little bit above average, obviously. I'm really horribly happy for you guys. Obviously, you can't just have her stay when she comes over, her family wouldn't really be happy about that and that might put her siblings in a compromised position which she wouldn't like. Have you met her folks or siblings, by any chance? Probably a lot to expect something like that, but I'm horribly curious and you've got my interest.