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so, gf works at an animal shelter with dogs. They only put down dogs that are super sick or aggressive, so its uncommon and happens like once or twice a month which is apparently pretty good considering how many animals they get
But earlier this week they had to put a dog to sleep that she had gotten really attached to. I was also super busy with stuff, so I couldnt really talk about it with her, she mentioned that a dog was being put down and I said that sucks, but had to go do shit so that was all I knew, and I was too busy to message her throughout the day like normal. the day it happened I also had a trip planned with some buds to go to a cabin to play music/get drunk, so I was busy again and couldnt talk to her. She messaged me a few times about how upset she was and called too, but honestly I just either forgot to reply or was too busy. when I read the messages in the morning I realized which one it was and it made sense why she was so broken up, she really loved him even though he was dangerous. Also learned that she was so distraught at work that her manager sent her home early, then she just got drunk alone
problem now is she totally shut down. Finally asked her about the whole thing and she wont talk about it. She'll say a couple words then just kinda change the subject. Shes way more withdrawn than she used to be and no interest in sex. not worried about her getting it somewhere else because now she doesnt even really care about doing her makeup and is barely on her phone anymore, her friends havent seen much of her either. She mostly just studies/sleeps. Even talking with her about unrelated stuff is like pulling teeth, I can tell that sometimes shes just on the edge of crying but if I try to help her or ask she just denies it. Ive apologized numerous times and she just says "its fine" and wont talk about it. she normally LOVES talking about dogs from work. Now she doesnt even mention them unless I ask, and finds any excuse to leave the conversation
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how do I fix this? I feel terrible for leaving her hanging when she needed me and now it feels like I'm dating just a hollow husk of the girl who I fell in love with. Apologizing didn't work, so I don't know what to do
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Honestly, just give it time and give her extra attention. Similar thing (kinda) happened when my cat died last month and my boyfriend didn't seem to understand how upset I was. I sobbed while he played video games with his friends all night lol
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>>18101472
Damn what a dick
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>>18101436
I dunno man I'd be pretty upset if it seemed like my boyfriend didn't care that I was in emotional pain. Cause I mean, it's not like you have to be there for each other...
She sounds depressed. Have you told her she's worrying you? It might get her to open up some.
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Pretty weird honestly. I love animals and nature but getting attached to an aggressive dog that will get put down is weird, at least to that degree. And now the fact that she won't speak to you about it.
Most likely there is something deeper at play here. The dog's death triggered something deep inside of her she had been repressing. She likely isn't even aware of this herself.
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It's gonna take time. The best thing you can do is try to be there for her if anything else upsets her. If she looks like she's gonna cry, and doesn't want to talk, just hold her. Try to make her feel comfortable and let it out. Make sure you LISTEN to her. She already told you how upset she was, and you ignored her. Idk if you realize what an ass you were. Don't expect her to forgive you quickly. The only other thing I can think to recommend is possibly giving a donation to an animal charity in that dogs name. Let your gf pick which one.
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>>18101513
This is good advice, OP. I like the donation thing. That's really sweet.
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