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I feel like I'm stuck in a loop.
It's been going on for about 4-5 years now and I think I'm just now realizing it. Let me walk you through the typical 2 weeks period of my life that's on repeat.
>Wake up for work
>Go to work
>Work
>Leave work
>Head straight home
>Play vidya, jerk off, or watch netflix until it's time to sleep again
>Sleep
>Rinse repeat
This pretty sums up everyday of my life ever since leaving highschool and getting a job. I always tell myself I'll save up my money and get my own place, my own car, make some new friends, meet a nice girl, and transition into adulthood but I always seems to fuck up somewhere and fall right back into the loop.
I'm beginning to think I'm fucking up on purpose just to keep myself in this "comfort zone." I can feel myself gradually losing my will to live or progress. I literally have no dreams or aspirations to look forward to and I only see myself continuing this loop until I eventually wake up one day and decide to free myself from the loop.
To give you a even better sense of how pathetic my life is: My proudest accomplishment in life is my garnered porn stash which is spread across several external hard drives. Alot of it being "self directed" or custom vids that blow most of my money on. I'm pretty sure I have a severe porn addicition.
Sometimes I wonder if deleting it all is the final push I need in order to leap off a cliff somewhere and end it all.
I feel like I'm rambling now.
tl;dr: I need fucking help.
>>
You are an adult, enjoy toiling away until you're dead.
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>>18101097
Well my friend up until the end of the green text it sound pretty good to me. Icba reading as comment is too long but stick with it it seems that you're self sufficient which is good. Try get a hobby that will get you out of house occasionally and you're sussed :)
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>>18101105
>>18101110
Is this really what adulthood is like? Just doing the same shit over and over again hoping to get a leg up someday only to have something seemingly out of your control push you back to the bottom of the hole and watch you climb back up again?
I honestly feel like I only have a another year or so but I fucking snap and do something drastic. Everyday I'm noticing something new about the world that I didn't yesterday and it always disappoints/discourages me.
>self sufficient
Hardly. I'm a parasite living off my dad atm. He drives me to and from work and pretty much anywhere else I need to go. He pays for all the food in house. He pays the vast majority of the bills as well.
I keep myself from feeling like a 100% piece of shit by giving him a few bucks every month. I tell myself that I'm contributing and helping him out but it's such a little amount that it probably doesn't it pay for the expenses I alone take up.
Also the "Play vidya, jerk off, or watch netflix" all happens right in front of pc. I literally sit in front of this screen all day and do these 3 things. Swapping between each one as my mood changes. If it wasn't for having to go to the bathroom or needing to eat I probably would never move from this spot during the weekend.
>>
1. Don't listen to this other shit advice
2. Find a new hobby
3. Join a church or a hobby group
4. Stop watching porn
5. Try to reach out of your comfort zone
Don't give up anon, there's a place where you belong. Or you can become an alcoholic.
>>
Maybe you just need a job that you like. Not one that you're "okay" with, but one that you actually like.
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