So... Basically, my former "best friend" snapped at

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>>18099009
Take it from someone on the opposite end for completely different reasons; neither of you are entirely to blame here.

"Life-long" friendships like these are typically unhealthy and can lead to a bad fallout if one becomes uncomfortable with the attachment. People grow apart, especially those who've known each other since adolescence. It's natural. He possibly felt this way about you for a long time, but also felt conflicted.

That being said, from the sound of it this person is leading a pretty unsavory path. Perhaps he's cutting you out not only for his sake, but your own. I say it's in your best interest to take him up on it. If you really do care about him, let him go and give him the chance to come back if the space changes how he feels. It might not sit right at first but ultimately you'll be better off.

>>18099009
Are you the same person you were when you were a kid? Neither is he. And it is totally natural (if sad) for people to grow up in different directions, so that the people you are now do legitimately have a lot less in common than you once did.

Friendship and nostalgia can disguise that growing-apart for a while, but not forever. And maybe the too-muchness he senses in you has been your unconsciously desperate attempt to keep alive what was dying.

It's not inevitable, but it is common and natural. You can be sad about it, but you have to move on.

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>>18099229
>"Life-long" friendships like these are typically unhealthy and can lead to a bad fallout if one becomes uncomfortable with the attachment. People grow apart, especially those who've known each other since adolescence. It's natural. He possibly felt this way about you for a long time, but also felt conflicted.
I guess you're right... It just really hurts because all this time I really saw him as a brother, as family.

>>18099277
>Are you the same person you were when you were a kid?
Sorry, I just wake up. He berated me because "I can't change", because "I'm still the same" and thus he was "wasting his time", so I dont know what to tell you.

>>18099009
>gain
>insulting
>belittle
>anger

All classic red flags. If he disrespects you frequently, he's not your friend. It doesn't how matter how long you've known him.

>>18100180
The sad part, anon... Is that he wasn't like that. He turned like that like a year or 2 ago...

>>18099009
>even though he had a job and a girlfriend

Chances are she was fucking his shitup

Dude you are learning the hard way that people can change like the flip of a coin nowdays. You are just gonna have to deal with it like everyone else does and forget about the person and move on.

>>18100584
>Chances are she was fucking his shitup
Nah, he was starting to act like this before he met her. At first it was because his father was a jackass, but he moved out from his dad's house and began living with his girlfriend and didnt get any less angry.

>>18100588
You're right, but I want /adv/ice on how to move on? I think the thing that hurts me the most is that he wanted to "gain" something out of me... I feel used.

Life sucks and then you die.

>>18101311
It would suck less if you remove the parasitic people infesting your life.

>>18101594
Listen to this man OP.

>>18100635
>I think the thing that hurts me the most is that he wanted to "gain" something out of me...
Don't get hung up on this. I've felt this way about friends before, it doesn't mean he was only friends with you because he profited on it somehow. He's pretty much saying your friendship is giving him more negatives than positives in his life. You're stressing him out and he's probably getting irritated by you. At the moment, you're a burden on his life and he doesn't want to deal with you right now.

Just give him his space and talk to him again in a month to see if he's cooled down. He just needs a break from you.

>>18101646
>Just give him his space and talk to him again in a month to see if he's cooled down. He just needs a break from you.
If you say so, anon. I mean, I given him space and only talked to him sporadically but he kept snapping at me so... Yeah. I don't think I will talk to him, though. If he cools down, he should be the one to talk to me. It's not exactly the first time he's done this, and I don't want to be the one crawiling back for the third time.

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Welp, he just texted me. He sent me a drawing he made me 7 years ago and added:

>"You can take that back Cuz I no longer want that littering my notebook, thanks"

I don't know, just seeing that drawing from out younger days crushed my spirit... Days I wish would come back...

Another friend told me

>"He's not even trying to hide the fact he's trying to provoke you"

Why is he doing this...? I... feel very crushed inside...

>>18102893
He's messing with you feelings in order make himself feel better.

>>18102974
Why do people do this? I mean... I get it, it's obvious he's trying to provoke me into answering back and thus lash out at me as he usually did but... I don't understand why people want to cause misery to others.

>>18102991
>I don't understand why people want to cause misery to others.

Because some people envy those who are more successful than themselves. Causing misery is one way to "equalize" their situation and make things "fair".

>>18103007
I see... so in this case I'm the successful party since I haven't even replied to him I guess?

Okay, this is rather creepy now. Because I didn't reply or did anything on my IM client, he now resent me that picture almost 4 hours later to my phone directly and a longer version of what he said earlier

>"Here, you can have this, I don't want it littering my notebook anymore, just making sure you have it so you don't cry about it if you blamed me for that too. Hope you got it this time cuz I'm getting rid of it"

>>18103443
Almost seems like they're trying to get you to chase after them, To beg them not to leave your friendship. Don't play into this manipulation OP. Say "okay thanks bye" and just block. I don't get why he feels the need to act like that even though you know he's ending the friendship, any other anon wanna explain the mental gymnastics going on here?

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>>18104115
OP here, the drawing was a portrait of a girl I was in love with 7 years ago. I believe, after thinking about it, he's trying to get me to react by reopening a VERY old wound, bexause why show me that specific drawing twice as opposed to any other of the hundreds we exchanged through all these years.

>>18104128
Yeah and that just screams how little he respects you and actively wants to hurt you. Not a friend worth having and I think you should say that yourself, Tell him he isn't worth all your time and effort to be shit on and treated like utter garbage and that his failed attempt to reopen an old wound is pathetic and just shows you how miserable he must be in his current life.

>>18099009
>his current deadbeat job at graveyard shift and such were entirely his fault, because he hated to interact with people in his previous position
Sounds like depression and social isolation, probably caused by the economy becoming increasingly unforgiving to people who don't check all the boxes for ideal workers and managers. My guess is he would be happier if it weren't for this. But there isn't anything you can realistically do about that and it sounds like this has been developing for a long time.

>>18104206
I know, all I could do was give him moral support, I can not create jobs like that (unless I ran a company)... But he finally had a decent position in his job with better pay and a regular 8 hour session and he, willingly, left it a few weeks ago because he hated to interact with the people at the place he was at, even though the graveyard shift paid less and was messier. Just to not see other people.

>>18104191
I will tell him that... when the time comes. I believe indifference, right now, must be even more painful

I love my best friend, known him for 20 years. Hope we don't separate

>>18105544
Lets hope not because "best friends" know you so well, in a fallout they try to push buttons. Last night he kept texting to rub salt in an old wound but I wont even reply to him

>>18105596
I just can't see that happening between us, I could never hurt him and I don't think he'd ever do the same. We care about each other too much. Maybe I got lucky

>>18106081
Maybe I befriended a psycho without realizing it. I'm not saying he'll do that to you, I'm just... Right now, I don't feel pain anymore. I feel dissapointed in him. That he betrayed our friendship and my trust and that, despite claiming he wanted me gone, he still tries to reach me to open old wounds so I react. I think he wants to justify not talking to me by making me react violently.