I have no life skills; I can't cook, I suck at cleaning

>>18098129
No, you're not a retard. There is a lot of good in you, you're just going through a difficult time right now.

Which aspect of your life is causing you the most stress?

>>18098136
Fear of failure, I don't want to try my hardest just to produce mediocrity.

I'm scared of trying to cook because I might burn my dish and get thrown out of the house, for example.

>>18098129

first and foremost when something goes wrong, don't reduce it to your entire existence. when you burn a meal, don't say 'WOW IM THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD'

cuz that doesn't help you fix the problem. that victimizes yourself, it perpetuates the idea that you're magically hopeless, that you were just born wrong and will never do anything right. and while that may seem like as ad thought, psychologically it protects you. it creates a mindset that you dont have to improve because you literally can't. its a coping mechanism that makes you pity yourself.

>i can't cook

no one was born able to cook. thats not a thing. you literally just follow recipes. whats worse is you don't even have to buy cook books anymore, you just do it online.

and most shit is all too easy to cook. want pasta? boils noodles. then cook sauce. throw in a meat if you want. not hard.

you can even look for youtube tutorials for really basic shit these days.

>i can't drive

go learn, ask a friend or parents to teach you and if you're going to say
>BUT NO ONE WANTS TO TEACH ME

than you aren't trying hard enough.

>can't clean

you can, you just tend to take the lazy route, its not hard to figure out.

>>18098203
Yeah, laziness is definitely part of the issue too. How do I get the self-discipline to break past that?

>>18098129
your brain will ripen with time. I guess when you wait 5 years you will be much better at time management anon
Men are finished with development at 25 years

>>18098218

by wanting it.

>>18098189
This anon >>18098203 is right. When you're going to do something that causes you anxiety, you need to logically break it down to try to calm yourself.
In the case of cooking, you should outline it as so in your head:

Activity: Cooking

Why does this give me anxiety: because I am afraid that I might burn a dish and get thrown out of the house

How much do I believe that this will happen right now: 90%

How realistic is it that I will be thrown out of the house: 1%

How much do I believe this will happen now that I've thought about it: 30%

Breaking down the reasons for your fears and anxieties in a realistic way will help you cope with situations and understand them better. If your fears and anxieties are really bad, I would recommend physically writing this stuff down when you start feeling overwhelmed by a situation so you can read your fears and see how unlikely they are to materialize.

You have to remember that everybody experiences fears of failure, but its reducing scary situations down to what they are rather than thinking about all the possible things that could go wrong that stops us from getting overwhelmed and feeling useless.

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I'm kind of like you, we're the same age. Although when I say I "can't" do something, I generally mean that tentatively. I cannot legally drive because I haven't put forth enough effort to get my license. I cannot socialize with people in the capacity that I would like because I have not yet achieved the mental state that I will work towards. So on, so forth.

The way I see it, the way that has prevented me from just giving up completely, is that the things that I'm concerning myself with are generally trivial in the grand scheme of things. There's nothing very impressive about being able to drive and millions of people are sociable enough to have an enjoyable social life. I'm just not there yet. Can I get there? Of course, look at all these other people. There's nothing holding me back but myself and I think that may be the case for you. It's definitely tough, I'm in no way where I want to be right now but I believe in myself. I'm not sure what you need to look for within to build some of your own faith but I'm sure that if you really think hard there's something there. I am not a confident person, I have awful anxiety and issues with depression. So I know what you mean about being afraid of failure but I would like to at least try my best to get my life together before I just call it quits.

I think you can do it, OP. It might sound like a bunch of bullshit but you should try doing some mindfulness meditation. It may help you calm down and allow you to take a moment to be more reflective over your life thus far.

>>18098218

Laziness is a killer, and wanting it is a huge part of that, but there are smaller things that can help.

Firstly, positive affirmations. Understand your goals, picture yourself at them, doing well and being happy. Realise that putting in the effort will reduce stress, and overall make you happier. You owe it to your family, yourself and the world to be the best you that you can really be.

Secondly, definitely meditation. I know its a whole corny scenario but grounding yourself and not being caught up in the media we all sink ourselves in day after day would help. All this internet shit is amazing, but its easy to cruise hours by and lose half the day.

I know its all pseudo-bullshit. But little reminders, little internal changes, make all the difference.

>>18098242
This.

If you're still trying to solve this problem then respond to my post.

I mean like, I got really good at cleaning. I don't know why, I just like clean things. I like neatness. I would like to help you. But you have to want to help yourself. You can google to find the answer to these things. But I wouldn't mind talking to about how to do it and give you a few tips.

Unless you're trolling it sounds like you don't have anyone to help you learn with these things.

>>18098293
OP here, what is your motivation?

>>18098306
Well I actually clean my house for women. Women is my motivation. I try to keep my house clean and smelling nice so that if I have a girl over she is impressed that I can actually keep a house.

A lot of people will say "don't do things just for girls" but that's nonsense. Because I have a nicer, cleaner house than most guys.

Another motivator is that having a clean house is a crucial step in itself to success. Getting used to the repetition of cleaning a house will accustom you to the repetition of going to work everyday and earning your salary. Being neat & clean is a cornerstone of being successful, that's the bottom line. And organized. Another motivator is that when you actually need something, like a plunger when your toilet gets clogged, you actually know where it is. I know where my flashlight is, I know where my hats are, and where my gloves are in case I need them I don't have to waste time looking for them. I can get them in 10 seconds and move on with my life.

As far as cleaning goes, divide it into small tasks and clean in an order. In other words, set the kitchen as the first thing to clean, or whatever you want to clean first, and then clean that and move down the list. Once you start and get into the routine, it gets a lot easier.

Every Sunday clean your house. Vacuum carpets if you have them, and sweep floor if you have no carpets.

You are fully capable of doing all these things yourself, you're smart enough, able-bodied, have good eyesight. You should figure it out. If you need something to keep in mind to motivate you then do it. I just think of those girls and hey, my house is rather neat and tidy.

It's okay to not know these things. It's a part of growing up man. Don't feel guilty that you don't know. You have to learn it sometime right? Everyone starts somewhere.

Change your mindset. Read the book The Gorilla Mindset.


Basically your thoughts are dictating your reality.


Picture your dad standing over you with a disappointed, angry face saying "when are you going to get serious?"

Stop jacking off more than once every 4-5 days. Try to limit faps to once a week.

>>18098230
This.

Fear and anxiety are emotions that renspond pretty well to reason and rationalization.

>>18098306
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2X7c9TUQJ8

you should watch this. It will give you a couple of ideas.

But you need to learn to clean efficiently. It's okay if you take your time while doing it. Slow and steady wins the race. But you need to get a piece of paper, and write down all of the things in a list that you have time to clean, and just cross each off. What parts compose the kitchen? The floor, the cabinets, the counters, appliances, etc clean each in that order and cross off the list. And take your time. You will find you don't have enough time to clean the entire house in a day. You'll get tired of cleaning after two hours. That's what happens to me. So in that regard you will learn some time management as well from cleaning.

But you have to try man. At least get your A for effort. Keep trying man, you'll get there. To be honest it sounds like your family is a bit harsh on you, if you're too afraid to even try to cook. You'll figure it out man. Just keep trying.

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>>18098129

>can't cook

Learn.

>can't clean

Learn.

>can't drive or socialize

Learn.

/thread

>>18098350
fuck off mike

>>18098136
>>No, you're not a retard
Don't lie to him, it'll only make things worse.

>>18098601
What did you mean by this?