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Hey /adv/, I'd like to hear your thoughts on a situation I'm in. I am posting this purely to hear people's opinions on the limited information I'm providing but I hope you can make a good judgment it.
Some months ago I met a chick who at the time told me she was suicidal. I offered her friendship and showed her I cared about her survival, and we remained friends on and off for a few months.
After a rough breakup with my ex, she came in and kind of listened to everything that was happening and offered a positive supportive role in our friendship. After a month of really spending more time together I found myself motivated by my newfound freedom and the things she was telling me- very affirming support of my artwork, of my ambitions, things like that.
After enough time passed, she confided that she deeply cares for me romantically. I thanked her but suggested that we shouldn't for a few reasons including that I just got out of my relationship. As we started hanging out into the new year, she would do things like buy my lunch or other things that were really pleasant. She started showing me how good someone could be to me. As a friend she started surpassing all of the women I've dated, which eventually led me to both raise my standards and also develop feelings in return.
After enough time, I started to finally reciprocate the feelings of love, but then she started pulling away, expressing that maybe we shouldn't for a while, maybe we should stop. I didn't really buy into it and dismissed this. We kept meeting up, kept having fun, kept smiling.
I asked her to be my girlfriend one day, and she immediately said yes, but then moments later retracted it. I didn't really understand. [Cont'd]
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Late that night, when we talked on the phone, she confessed to me that she had lied to me. She had a boyfriend the entire time we've known eachother. A long distance guy that she's been seeing for over 2 years but has cheated on more than once, going so far as having a second relationship (similar to the one we were making) around the time I met her.
I forgave her because she was honest, as my ex had actually done this same thing to me. Literally the exact same thing- only this time the guy knew what was happening the whole time. More about him later.
Anyway, she spent like a week unsure what she was doing, and even though I didn't care to stay out of self-respect, I wanted to force her to choose someone. In the end, she chose him.
As a friend, the only thing I cared about was her happiness and survival. She seems hell-bent on staying with him in some bid to make up for all the betrayal. As for me, as much as I care about her, I don't want to date her even though my feelings remain. I do however wish to remain her friend and keep the happiness and motivation she gives me as a creator strong. She's the person who's inspired me the most artistically and I honestly never felt so strongly about someone before.
I'm still going out to meet new people and get back into the swing of things romantically but I find myself at a sort of cross-roads. I want to continue being the person I was before we started getting involved. The feelings are there but honestly I just care about seeing my friend happy. I myself find my own happiness every day. I hurt sometimes over what happened, but it's just how it goes.
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>>18097652
Anyway /adv/, I ask what you think of this situation.
About the other guy, I can tell you the boyfriend is honestly the biggest loser I've ever spoken to because of how legitimately obsessed he is over her. It's really creepy. Being with him made her go toward suicide- she doesn't find happiness like she had when we were hardly even dating. He's incapable of giving my friend happiness and I think she'd be better off /alone/ than with him. Honestly hate this guy. I don't plan on dating her if she ends up single, but I reaaaally fucking do not like him. That's kind of unrelated but I felt I should share it.
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bump?
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