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How do I learn to just tone it down?
I've heard it dozens of times. I'm funny, I'm charismatic, I bring up everyone's mood, etc. Girlfriends, friends, coworkers, I've heard it all the time. I'm animated and energetic, I talk fast, have rapid fire jokes, and tease people, sometimes pretty heavily, but in a way that makes it fun to come back at me. I'm just a really socially engaging person.
I've also heard that sometimes I'm too much, I'm exhausting, I'm draining, and I'm the kind of person you have to be in the mood for. I had an ex girlfriend who said she felt a little relieved when we broke up because I was too much for her sometimes. Even when we were having a quiet night in, I'd still have that sort of antagonistic sense of humor that got in the way of her trying to relax. My coworkers have said when it's business time and I'm still trying to socially engage people while I'm working (because I can do both and really well) it gets really irritating. It can get in the way of having more intimate conversations with people
I don't feel as though I'm disliked through hearing this. On the contrary, the stark majority of people I know like me. But I know it's a place where I could improve socially. But when I try to restrain myself I'm just buzzing with energy waiting to get out. Even when I'm at home alone I get so stir crazy and want to release everything. Whenever I'm low energy, I feel absolutely miserable and start to over-caffeinate.
Part of me wonders if I should even change it or just embrace who I am, even the annoying parts.
What do I do?
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Holy shit, reading this took all my energy, man.
I don't know, I know a lot of people like you. I don't really like being around them, but of course I'll laugh along and that. It's not that I think they're bad people, but I'm pretty much the opposite, so having somebody constantly pressuring me into some social context is annoying. Out of kindness I'm not going to tell them to fuck off, but hell if I'm not thinking it. It's like those people who just constantly talk non-stop when you tell them that you have to go, and they're like trying to talk to you through the crack in the door as you're leaving. Just... go away already. Read the atmosphere.
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>>18096368
It's like they're more concerned with telling the latter half of their story, or whatever joke they've got on mind than the other persons comfort and time. Not unpleasant, but there is a time and place for that shit, and it's important to know when it is and isn't.
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>>18096368
>>18096376
Well fantastic. Now that we've established that people like me are annoying and undesired, how can I be less of an imposition on the lives of others in the future? Maybe I should go to a country with a different native language so people find it easier to ignore me.
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Oddly enough Anon, I read about Benjamin Franklin having a similar problem. Basically he was a super charismatic, intelligent guy, but he realized people viewed him as kind of a smartass know-it-all chatterbox. If I remember right, he began actively working on simply not talking as much. Not like "vow of silence" level shit, but just not using ten words when three will suffice. The goal was to cut down on the sheer volume of words he spoke so that quality would replace quantity. As someone who has also been described as "exhausting," I found that simply attempting to limit what I said, to be concise, allowed me to also consider my situation. Like, I have something I want to say, but because I'm thinking about my words I realized that in my current situation (I was at work, or group study) the best course of action was I actually say nothing and save it for later.
Maybe not a magic bullet solution, but it might be worth considering.
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>>18096385
As a similar "too much for this world" kind of negro, i say fuck em OP.
Lifes short, id people dont like you, you have too options
1. Find out what they dont like about you
2. Find new people
Sounds to me like its not you, its them. So get out more, find someone who enjoys your annyoing tendencies.
If you dont? Fuck that shit too dude
Humans are fucking garbage heaps, cherish whatever you can, but dont let dumpster fires guide your life.
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>>18096385
Ignore that loser anon, you're not a complete piece of shit.
I like being around people like you, you're lively and sound like you know how to have a good time. If you're happy with who you are, know how to get shit done, and know how to take care of yourself, I say embrace who you are. You ain't hurting anybody.
And if someone outright states you're being overbearing, practice what this anon said >>18096405. A little brevity never hurts.
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