I'm sorry for the mistakes I have made. I wanted to try

Why did you have to cheat on me. We were perfect for each other. Now you want me back but fuck I'd have no self-respect if I went back to you after how you treated me.
I hope I meet someone I like soon. It's been a long time

I'm frustrated.

I need to train.

Don't feel so sorry for yourself. You fucking deserved to go to jail. Don't blame me. I'm not the one that kicked the front door in. Also you weren't in jail a week. It was 4 days. I'm sorry you lost your job, but don't blame me for it. You should've known I wasn't even there. You didn't even check to see if my car was gone. So that whole story about worrying I would hurt myself is bullshit. And if you were so worried, why didn't you call the cops? No. Instead you break into my home causing more than 100 dollars worth of damage. And all of this was just a day after you raped me. And you don't think you did anything wrong. You're sick. I probably won't press rape charges, and I have no choice on pressing the burglary charges. But if I did have a choice, I would. Because there's no other way I could get your scummy ass to pay for the repairs. I hope one day you realize how fucked up you've treated me and I hope you can get help. I don't ever want you to act like this around another person. The only time I'll ever see you again is in court.

I miss you and think about you every day. Really hope things will go well with this guy so I can finally get over you.

I silently resent you, because if I killed myself it would destroy you. For some reason, I matter to you. And I know doing something to end my life, despite wanting that desperately, would cause you pain.

If you weren't my ticket out of an abusive relationship, you would never hear from me again. My life belongs to you, and I hate you for it.

If it weren't for the law, I'd kill you all the first chance I'd get you malignant, good for nothing bastards

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If you died tomorrow, I wouldn't care.

You are the worst person I know. You are literally the worst parts of a woman combined into the most disgusting human being I could ever think of.

You treat legitimate mental illness like it's a quirk. You are the embodiment of the edgelord teenage girl's, 'lol im insane' Facebook status... You're a 57 year old woman. You treat me worse than an animal. You are the abuser in a relationship who constantly accuses the victim of provoking abuse. You fucking piece of gaslighting shit. You disgust me. I actually get physically ill when you enter the room.

You write your sick mother and disabled brother letters EVERY DAY saying how much your life sucks, then you complain when they tell you to shut the fuck up and do something productive with your life. You constantly throw guilt around like some pity slut who gets off on martyrdom. Your family's not in the wrong for not wanting you around.

You treat your disabled daughter like dirt. Like a possession. You think that because you pay the bills, you can treat your child as poorly as you like. Someone who can't get a job, yet when going on disability is brought up you shoot it down and say that no daughter of yours will be a leech. You're a fucking waitress, you have no dignity. But you'll defend that job until you can't breathe anymore because it's the only thing you've got.

Whatever little respect I had for you that has dwindled down over the years has run out. Do everyone a solid favor and go through with your suicide threats. But you won't. Because none of them are real.

Fucking kill yourself, you waste of human life. Enough is enough. Die.

>>18096357
Am I at least a shiny ticket?

It doesn't have to be like Willy Wonka level exciting or anything, but I don't really just want to be some forgettable, dirty ticket that does little more than serve as some basic symbolism.

Maybe one of those fancy holographic ones, with like a running animal or something when you tilt it. That'd be neat.

I wish a woman could love me

>>18096390
*hug* wish granted bucko <3

>>18096392
>Bucko
> <3

I guess he didn't really specify, huh.

>>18096393
hey, take what you can get

>>18096382
There's too much shit to go into at 2 am. When I started dating you, I gained something and lost something. And then I lost the right to my life. We're planned to get married. Committing to you as a man isn't a problem. You're supportive. You've always been there for me. You're my best friend. We have kinks that click. You're making me wait until marriage for sex, and goddammit you idiot at that rate you're gonna be a 30 year old version and I won't be that far behind you. Dumbass.

None of that is the problem. The problem is literally giving you my life. You can have the only spot in my bed and in my figurative heart no problem... But holy shit, I can't promise you that I'm not going to off the rails one day and just throw myself off a cliff. I can't say for 100% certainty that I won't make a prescription drug + vodka cocktail and whatever happens, happens. Good lord, I've been attempting suicide for actual years. You know this. Why the hell didn't you jump ship like everyone else?

That's why I say you're my ticket out of this hellhole. Maybe things will get better when I'm out of this nightmare and with someone who actually gives a damn about me. I sure hope so.

>>18096395
>version
Are you kidding me? Virgin. 30 year old virgin. A willing 30 year old virgin.

You're fucking perfect to me yet I can't tell you. Why must I kill myself and drown in thoughts of you. If I have ever fallen in love with the thought of someone it would be you.

You spoke to me with words while I spoke to you with emotion. In another life maybe we could be something. I hate myself for not trying earlier. I truly think I love you.

I tell myself that I am coping with death but the truth is that I am worried I'll never stop grieving. Anyone else coping with death? My girlfriend of a few years was murdered back in august.

I made a mistake by manipulating people into loving, and apparently sincerely caring for me. I was a young, abused kid who craved attention. So, I met you all, despite whether or not you were on the internet, and now I'm tied down. Each one of you wants to be with me, to grow up with me, and all I want is to run away, or to kill myself. But each time I try and be honest with you about this, you tell me you will never forgive me if I did anything of the sort. It hurts so much when you say that. It's pathetic and cruel of me, but whatever names I'm given; coldhearted, intolerable, demonic, although you say it jokingly, I've learnt to adapt to. I don't care if you will cry for me or will feel sorrow. But, I have gotten myself into this mess by lying and playing puppet strings, just like how I was manipulated into being made into a play-toy, and it is up to me to get myself out. I don't know what to believe, and I live a double life from my parents. Everyone says I'm so young and I overthink too much for my age as a compliment, but it's genuinely a struggle. No one knows how lucky I am to be here. I have no passion, I'm just around to please with my presence. It's so fucking hard.

>>18096401
Okay, shot in the fucking dark, first name start with C, last name start with H?

>>18096409
Actually, N and W. Kek, afraid not, anon.

>>18096409
That reminds me, I have a C as well. My C's ass is great.

Too bad I can't ever get it because fuck, my life's terrible.

>>18096395
I can't help that, you're significant to me.

Perhaps you can't always see the things in yourself that I see when I look at you, but I want to show that to you. I want you, and only you, by my side.

I don't want sex to have anything to do with it. It isn't that you aren't attractive, or that I don't have thoughts or temptations, but simply that I want us to be more than that.

Maybe you will disappear on me one day, who can say. Just as you can't promise to not go through with it, neither can I promise to you that it won't break my heart. All the same, even with that risk, I want to spend my time with you, for as long as you will allow me.

I'm sorry.

>>18096414
I understand what this exchange is, but the odds of you actually being on this site let alone being in this thread are practically zero. But good lord, it's like I'm talking to you just regular. And it's just like you to apologize for something that's not your fault. Eerie.

I don't think there's anything else to really say about it. I wish I was normal. But quite literally from day one I was screwed up. I know I've told you that story more than once.

We'll get married. I'll meet your family. Sorry that you have to introduce a fat bitch as your girlfriend, but I'm quite literally fighting my shitty endocrine system with everything I've got. But I'm tired, I don't have to patience to go into it, and that's a whole other story that you know very well.

We will get married. I'll move to your state. There's nothing for me here, anymore. And we'll get a house with a tea room (and storm cellar for tornadoes)... And that's how it'll be. I love you. I really do. But I can't stand knowing that the thing I've wanted to do for years is the thing that will hurt you the most. It's driving me up the goddamn wall.

I always mad at trivial things, damn man I just want to be in peace

How dare you try to control me, keep me like I'm some fucking possession. I'm not having any of that bullshit. As soon as I have the money & the means, you better bet your ass I'm high tailing it outta here. You may have birthed me, but I don't belong to you. I wasn't put on this earth to serve you or take your shit.

>>18096478
edgy

me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too thanks, me too THANKS!

How dare you try to control me, keep me like I'm some fucking possession. I'm not having any of that bullshit. As soon as I have the money & the means, you better bet your ass I'm high tailing it outta here. You may have birthed me, but I don't belong to you. I wasn't put on this earth to serve you or take your shit.

>>18096544
edgy

I did it, I cut out those feelings I had for you like you asked but you still make it weird mang. You say you don't want it but you say some weird shit afterwards and I hate it.

I'm sorry for wasting almost my entire 20's being a shut in. I should've gone to college or I should've gotten a mcjob but I was too scared to get anything done. I truly feel hopeless and I feel like it might be too late for me.

I wish I had a time machine because I fucked up big time and things will never be the way they were before. I have singlehandedly destroyed the connection I had with my only friends and I feel so fucking BAD but what's done is done, it's too late now what the fuck.

I wanna be tortured so bad

Z, I'm lmaoing at your life. God, you're the pinnacle of stupidity. Gold comedy, Z. Keep me entertained. You deserve it.

>>18096370
Judging by this post, you kinda care...as you wish to do this world a favor by releasing it from this woman's presence. I get that and respect that.

I know too deeply this feeling of bitter resentment and hatred. This woman I know is kinda like yours. All she ever does in life is complain and whine like an angry, worthless little bitch, and that's all she'll ever be. The worst part is that she does not even stop at mocking the dead for a moment's notice. She made a mockery of my grandma's death by saying maybe she shouldn't have smoked so much and she was stupid for continuing.

Words cannot describe the inner wrath that was unlocked that day. It only got worse when I had to live with her. I was even considering killing both her and myself, as a means of preventing anyone else from witnessing this radioactive shitpile of a creature.

It radiated even to her kids...who are subtly trying to get her on her 'good' side. Such as literally grabbing sperm from a lab and making a baby from that shit, while the woman was gay and married to her other gay lover. They're ruining the gene pool but don't give a shit. They even ruined a chance at adoption, and chose the selfish route.

Worse yet, she thinks everyone is fucking lazy when really, it's hard to move around in this economy. She's too dumb to really know what goes on in this world and it pisses me off.

(Part 1 of 2)

I love you, I really do, but please, PLEASE, stop being so needy. I understand that you live on your own and in the middle of nowhere, so that makes things hard for you, but I can't reassure you all the time that I love you, I miss you, I want to hug you, etc because I'd rather talk about other shit. I wish you would start feeling more secure when we are apart.

>>18096370
>>18096587
Like, I was going to college for quite a while, hoping to god I can make it from there, but she got cunty and denied me a chance to come back as the semester ended, in exchange for me looking for a job instead.

I got all sorts of apps in, but no one called back. I asked her what the fuck to do...and she fucked up everything possible from writing a resume to a cover letter. It had to take an entire organization to help my ass with everything to get a job and get the fuck outta there fast.

THIS woman also needs to die, and I need her to die so the world can become a less toxified place and future generations won't need to put up with this kind of bullshit.

However...as time went on, there was this sweet 90 year old man who I met at my first job. He gave me his tips of a longer, healthier life: eat homegrown foods and whenever I deal with these people, just go "okay", and go on my merry way.

This works to a point, and I follow his tips because goddamn, I have to respect that man for actually being a wise elder rather than a 60 year old cunt who uses "OMG" in her fucking words naturally.

I know not of where I went with this, but I wish you the best of luck on dealing with this cunt just as I'm about to leave mine and hoping to god I don't look back.

I type all this shit because I have no idea when the janny would be up to ruin shit, but hey, it's good to release this while the chance is open.

>>18096356
>this is how easy it is for women
Women were a mistake.

>>18096611
More like beta-males were a mistake, yet we allowed them to survive.

Women, while also a mistake, are merely taking advantage of a situation.

E, I'm feeling major unresolved sexual tension with you. I don't know if you felt it too after we hung out this weekend, but it's been driving me crazy all week. I feel trapped in my relationship (this is not a new feeling, it's been there since before we were married, but I am not good at forging difficult paths/breaking bonds with good people like D.) anyway, there's pretty much zero chance you'll see this. Just wanted to say how attractive I find you, and how much I enjoy hanging out with you.

MODS!!!!! someone's trying to make a stupid thread!

Why hasn't this been pruned yet?

>>18096569
Hey you still have so many years left to live dude. It's not too late

>>18096707
>>18096721
Hm? Are these kind of threads not allowed?

>>18096807
I don't believe so. Their presence diminished a couple months back, and lately it's only been the odd thread every few weeks.

Honestly, I can't imagine why. So long as it's no more than one thread, what harm is it really doing? Can 4chan really claim to try and deliver only the most premium of content? I understand that this may not technically have anything to do with advice, but it sort of does at the same time. It's a chance for people to throw everything they have bottled up on the table, get feedback, or come back and realize how irrational they were being and learn from it. You can say that you could simply do this offline, but It's a lot more defiant to just throw these things out into the world. Maybe it isn't logical, but I don't think it's harmful either.

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when you glanced at me on the street yesterday i could see the look in your eyes.

Its not mutual, i dont miss you

>>18096848
They started pruning them right around the time I started divulging secrets of ex friends of mine, and now they stopped pruning them. Last night I went off on some people. Could be coincidence, but I don't think so.

Why do you play with my heart? I break my back for you, I make all my choices based on what will make you the happiest. I live for you. Every second of the day I think of you, and you play me. You use me as entertainment. You laugh at me, and think it's fun to keep me waiting hours for a reply. And when you do reply it's only 2 words. I spill my heart for you, I worship the ground you walk on and you treat me like dirt. I wish I could say that I hate you and never want to talk to you again but I can't. I can't get you out of my head, no matter how badly you treat me. I want to hate you, I want to ignore you. But when I do I can't do anything because you're all I fucking think about. At first I thought I'd finally found the person who'd love me as much as I love them. Without even seeing how you looked I fell in love. We'd talk for hours then one day it seems you got sick of me. I told you from the beginning that I'd be annoying when I fell in love and you said that's okay. You said you don't mind it, and that you're the same way you told me you're in love with me. So why crush my heart like this? It makes me feel pathetic because of how fragile I am and how easily you can ruin my day. I worked myself to the bone for you, to meet your standards. I pushed myself to exhaustion for you. I skipped going out with family just so I could talk to you more. Once you knew you had me wrapped around your finger, you were happy. Found another toy to play with.
As much as I want to hate your guts I can't. It's impossible for me to hate you, even after what you've done to me. I hope one day you'll change your opinion about me. It's hard to live life when you love someone so much and they treat you like trash.

I used to never understand why men cheat so much in their relationships, but now I do.There are so many pretty girls of all heights, colors and smells. It's so tempting to try and have a piece of each one. It's a good thing that I'm not attractive or else I'd be an unfaithful man-whore. But it also makes me sad.

I wanna see you. I'm so much in pain of longing to touch your face. I don't need any therapy. I just really need to see you and look you into your eyes and say all my feelings for you. I can't unlove and I don't have the intention to do so.

Ms. Nobody.

I kissed her last time, so why the fuck didn't I this time?

Fuck I'm bad at this.

Please just see that im trying so hard for you.

>>18096970
Why are you Ms. Nobody?

Being with you hurts me so much. I've tried to tell you so many different ways but you'll never understand. I feel more lonely when we're together than when we're apart.

I could really go for a cookie right now.

Oatmeal raisin, or molasses.

Maybe a cup of milk.

>>18097000
Why does it matter

>>18097071
Just curious.
From one nobody, to another.

i know you dont love me and i dont care.I know that the feelings arent mutual and that you dont give a shit about me. no one does.

>>18097093
also
WHY THE FUCK DID I SHAVE MY NUTS.

>>18096707
>>18096721
Don't even say this shit. I've needed this thread. I've been holding shit in that I've finally been able to let out. Feels good man.

It's been a year and 3 months since I left you and it's still hard to move on. I miss you. I love you.

I gave myself a hardcore life lesson...

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Every day I think of something that I would tell you if we were talking. A song I'd recommend (you would love this one), how I finally got my nipples pierced, where I'm living now, small things that I learn. You were a terrible boyfriend, but you were a great friend. At least when we were alone together. I wish you wouldn't have gone batshit crazy that night. Now I'm confused about a lot of things. Everybody is telling me I should hate you. But I don't. I miss you. I'm sorry that you have to stay out of my life now. But I know it's better for both of us.

Love, chickadee

My, my. These threads are back. It's sort of a relief, but I have nothing to vent. So instead, I'll just say how and what I've been doing.
Working out and running everyday improved my physical and mental health a lot. I'm really fit now and it's nice to feel my toned muscles where I could only touch flabby hide before. Since someone sounded worried about it, it's worth mentioning I stopped drinking so much. Not that it was an issue before. Took on the habit of smoking pot every once in a while, but each experience is entirely different and this post would get far too long to detail them. Been going out with a really nice and attractive girl. She wants to go official and I really like her, but I don't want to go steady yet. People are shitty overall and letting them get too close will invariably lead to me being hurt.
Distanced myself from my friends a little. They got too needy, too clingy. I was the heart of the party, as usual and I didn't like the constant invitations. T pouts because I don't hang out as much, but she understands.
Specially since you-know-who gets jealous whenever I'm with someone else.
Life's going pretty great, although I have the feeling it's not what someone wanted deep, deep inside.
I appreciate everything that's happened to me in my entire life.

Gratefully,
▙▜▆▆▆▙

I'm not who I want to be and no matter what I do I can never even get close to where I want to be. Some people are meant to succeed and inspire people, some are monsters who exist purely to cause as much destruction as possible. Then there is me, just a prime example of what a failure is. Even criminals get more respect than I do.

I have no clue what I'm doing or supposed to do with my life.

I just want to fall in love again. I don't need to but it would be nice if someone could match my consistency that I actually find attractive

I've feeling a dull pain in my prostate, testicles and base of the penis in the last 2 weeks but I have no health insurance and I'm too ashamed to talk to anyone irl.

E,

Seven years ago, tomorrow, was the first time we met...

God fucking damn it. How am I not over this?

>>18096903

definitely coincidence, the mods just thought that it was cancerous to see all the people posting edgy bullshit.

>>18096848
>>18096707
>>18096721
>>18097188


its not advice, but if i were you id pay reallllllllllly close attention to the OP.

Has it been 10 years? It feels like both yesterday and an eternity. I definitely owe you an apology if we ever meet again.

I have come to an enlightening conclusion last night.

I have an obscure gift, one that makes women realize how much they are missing out on their past relationships that they come crawling back at a rapid pace.

On multiple occasions:
>Random friend of mine starts seeing girl
>Things are smooth for awhile until friend screws up or a fight happens
>Girl wants nothing to do with guy
>I step in and offer to hang out with girl one on one for a bit
>Don't even mention friend while hanging out
>We get done having coffee or w/e, say our goodbyes
>Within a matter of hours, girl calls up friend and things get resolved, they're back together

This has happened many many times with several friends and their female interests. I have realized I need to put this talent to good use, to become an ultimate wingman of sorts.

The greatest revelation of all is that, I don't even have to do anything to make it work. I am just quite literally being myself. My average mediocre enough self; not pretty in the face but not deformed, not female pussy on the pedistal white knight behavior, but not alpha male either.

I can't tell my friends about it because they will think I'm absolutely nuts, but how do I go about using this gift to the best of my ability?

I know I'm not the one who should be complaining, but falling out of love is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

I wish I had an idea of what I can say to come clean with how I feel to my friend.

I really want to just tell her how I feel, but I still want to keep her as a friend. I definitely think that there is a chance, but a slim one at that, of her feeling the same.

I know what you're going to do, and I know that you are likely browsing this board, and I know you can hear your phone ringing. Please pick it up. Please let me talk to you one last time at least

All the songs about love and longing I've been hearing are dedicated to you, sweetheart.
My love for you just refuses to die. I know you know that but we will never talk about it, won't we?

I can't beat my demons.

Fuck you
fuck you fuck you fuck you
I know it's not your fault but fuck you
I'm hurting here and you could stop it and you know you could stop it
why do you let me hurt

Congrats. I feel like I hate you now. That's exactly the opposite of what you wanted, right? I don't care.

I just came here to vent, though.

I'm glad I could make it to say to you to never talk to me again. I'm pretty sure that's the worst idea I've ever had, but that's what I needed to do.

Sayonara, Zabuza-kun.

You were my star since I saw you the first time, as a thing of maybe luck I got to be with you, just as my dreams, as my girlfriend I have so much problems may be my house or myself and my defects, you were my respite after all of this, and I trusted you completely never lying you ever, yet I know I failed you so much times, my envy of you and your life, but I endured you accomplishing the dreams of my life in front of me, yet you failed all your promises and treated me like garbage, because who could forget in a week the love of a year? You were the first thing I felt truly, as a stroke of luck being so similar, I got in love aside of so many things because you believed in me, so is natural to get messed up when you reveal that you already have another, in the country i wanted to go, to say that you regret all the support and love you gave me and then hand over the phone to him to mock me?

How my nami died so fast?

You were so cruel that I I'm still in shock even if a month passed already
I love you but I don't want to

I feel alone

>>18096332

Pretty sure a girl was trying to flirt with me today. She winked at me, smiled alot, was chattier than usual.

I want to say it's a one of, but it's not. There is also "predator nose" (nose like a goddamn sharks fin... like I could dangle money on a stick a fish for her) constantly watching me.

The QT black chick I kinda like stares.

Then there is a couple of married women who are friendly and might like me.

Just because the frog was kissed and turned into a hansom prince, it does not mean he'll stop hopping, croaking or living in a damp cold and dark quagmire.
Fuck your palaces and social norms, this isn't me. I'm a shitposting pepe/Kek enthusiast and 4Chan is my swamp. My princely ass body can go to hell, I wanna be a creep again there was less attention.

>>18098001
Relax, you're still the same ol' handsome frog from the swamp.

However, YOU'RE AN ALL STAR, GETCHA SHOW ON, GET LAID!

(and then dump her irreparably destroying her self esteem, so the lower tiers have access to used goods.)

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I work with animals and I don't normally work with small lizards. My experience consists of dogs and rabbits, but I somehow landed a job here. My memory is shit and I'm still new to opening the store. We had a lizard in the back that was too mean to be out on the floor so he was kind of a reserve lizard, alone in his own tank.

I forgot to mist him with water for...god knows how many mornings. Part of it was because I thought other people were doing it, but I know for sure I opened yesterday and only made sure he had water. But I didn't mist him. I just forgot.

Nigga died today. From dehydration and being constipated or something like that. Like...I love animals. And sure it was just a lizard. But I know this was my fault. I have no business working there and even though I'm still learning, it shouldn't be at the cost of an animal's life. Why the fuck would they hire someone who has no experience with small animals? Why the fuck did I apply? Why am I working this shitty job? I shouldn't be allowed to work there. I shouldn't revolve my career around animals to begin with. I'm too absent-minded and stupid to take care of something so small and fragile.

I don't care if it was just a little lizard. I want to fucking die right now. ...well maybe not really. But I just want to not be here anymore. I should just quit. But any new job will suck.

>>18097922
I don't know how to stop it. I don't know what to do. Just tell me.

You know my intentions and my feelings towards you.

If you honestly no longer want me around, if what I did was too much for you to take, fine. I won't stop you from walking away.

I will learn from this. I know I been childish and immature. You exposed this to me, and for the last month I took time to reflect on all that. I learned more about myself in thanks to you. I still much more to learn. With or without you, I will continue to improve. Letting go hurts, so fucking much, but if that's what you want for us, so be it. I will wish you the best and just go on my own as well.

The thing I wish you would see is that right now you are being a hypocrite. You say that I have been a child, and yet the way that you won't face this rift between us, it reflects the same from you.

Speak to me like and adult, like you want to treated and I will understand. Treat me like shit, don't act surprised when I tire of your neglect. I won't let you simply run away from this, you and I require a proper conclusion. I want to work with you to make things better for the both of us, but I will also aspect the truth if it's one were you wish to walk away. But tell me. This miasma we are stuck in, it doesn't suit either of us.

The difference is that I'm not the one acting like there's nothing to talk about. If you want to end it, say it. Make your intention clear to me and I'll depart from you life.

You tell me to grow up, fine. I will look at myself and see what needs to change, what needs to go or stay for me to change for the better.
But you need to look in the mirror as well before you start pointing fingers.

You aren't as blameless as you think you are.

>>18098065

Dude, are you me?

>>18098070
If you feeling shit because the event that caused a 10 year relationship was an abortion, then maybe you're me.

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You both destroyed my entire life. Everything I had that I loved and cared for you both fucking tore it out of my life. You both were my brothers. I've known you both for 17 fucking years. All the time we spent together meant nothing to you two and you both showed it very fucking well. Because of you two, my entire social life is fucked. I have no friends anymore. You broke my ability to trust anymore. I trusted you both and you fucking back stab be like my name is Ceaser.

The funniest thing is that you expect me to forgive you after doing this. Fuck you. Fuck you both. I hope you get what's coming to you, you fucking pricks.

I know your only with me because I make good money. I know that you don't want me to have friends because your afraid I'll find someone better. I know your a hypocrite and hypochondriac and that's why having someone care for you makes you feels safe. I know you've had dozens of other boyfriend's who were all trash. I know I'm not perfect but I quit everything for you. I got a different job, I stopped going out with friends, I quit smoking, I bought you anything and everything you "needed". I know I'm better than you. I know your not good for me. I don't know why I still care.

>>18097720
Ideas?

>>18098271
Unfortunately it's a crap-shoot friend. I've had girls who were my friends think I was weird for having those feelings. I've had girls laugh at me and re-affirm my friend zone status. I've had girls who years later messaged me telling me they should have gone on that date with me. All I can say is if you do nothing the regret will hurt far more. Good luck friend.

I didn't get fired. I quit. And I in no way want to move back to that godforsaken city and continue the career I had. It drained me for 10 years and I have next to nothing to show for it.

I'm debating buying that piece of land you said is a long term dream instead of using the money to buy yet another apartment in the city and go back to work doing something I hate. I don't want to lose you, I know you hate country living, but I will choose roughing it over you if the issue is forced. I hope to God we can find a compromise.

>>18096332
I love you, I really really do.

Why'd you have to make this so hard for me?

I don't want to go against my morals to be with you, because that's part of the reason you even care for me in the first place.

I love you for pulling me out of my depression, hopefully I did the same for you.

>>18098280
I guess. She probably already knows that I like her, but I haven't been too clear.

But atleast this girl seems to be trying to maintain our friendship, maybe even slowing drawing us closer?

At minimum it seems like she is unsure on how she feels. I guess thats better than nothing?

>>18096529
Not as edgy as you, I'm sure

it's my bday. i'm young, i'm blessed in a lot of ways but i'm deathly alone and very sad. why?

A month ago I ended a friendship of almost 9 years. At first I felt crushed, angry and sad, she was my best friend after all.
But now, everything is back to normal. I don't feel alone or sad, even when I remember all the moments with her.
I feel normal, like the time before shtf with her.
I'm not even sure if I should feel like a shit person because it's like those 9 years didn't matter at all.

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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhh!!!

>>18098517
You're probably sad at least partly due to being alone. Why are you alone? I dunno, do you get out enough?

I can't sleep. I keep thinking about you, keep picking up my phone wanting to text you. But, what is there to say? You are the one that has to choose. A part of me knows it's more than likely over, it's the only answer that makes sense, but hearts have no mind, so there's a part of me that is stupidly hopeful. I really shouldn't be, but I don't want to let go.

Sadly, I must it seems. I have to start letting you go and try to live without you. I know it's possible but damn if all this isn't draining.

If you have to go, I won't follow, I will let you be happy. I want you to be happy, even if that doesn't include me in the picture. As painful as that is, I have to let go.

>>18099371
You don't have to let go
I've already chosen, I just won't get the chance to do anything about it for another few weeks
If I'm doing the wrong thing by letting you go until I can be there for you properly then please tell me

I refuse to let go. In fact, holding on propels me forward in a way. I love you. I always. You are my equal, my love. In this life and the next. I wish I could've helped you in not feeling as if you were losin yourself.

J -

Here it is
the revenge to the tune
You're no good,
You're no good,
You're no good
Can't you tell that it's well understood
I'm never gonna know you now
but I'm gonna love you anyhow
I'm here today and expected to stay
on and on and on
I'm tired
I'm tired

XO

Don't really feel the motivation to do anything. I'm tired of it all.

not my fault im DOING BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU. Does my success make you stupid pieces of shit that mad? Lmao how do you ppl have the audactity to even talk shit when you're damn near copying my every move. The way I think, make jokes, my personality etc. 100% copyed by you fucks. Off yourselves, I never talked to any of you for a reason holy shit

>>18099421
If only you would tell me this, tell me this directly. I don't mind waiting if it's time that is the issue. Time, I can give.

How I wish you were the person I directed my comment to. But I know they would never come to this place.

>>18099543
I'm going to tell you directly. Truly directly, not the nonsense I've had to settle for doing in the past. I just hope I can find you when it comes to it.

I could say the same, but it won't stop me hoping just a little.

stip copying me just because you unmotivated, stupid sacks of shit can't think for yourselves christ. You all are feiging your 'mental illnesses' to so please fuck off and die

>>18099570
I just hope I can keep myself warm on the embers of memories we shared. If it takes too long they may go out, and I grow cold along with them. I will try to fan flames as long as I can. Don't take too long, I miss you.

Best of luck. Whether you are my person or not. I wish you well.

I actually fucking hate you, /adv/. I don't know why I even go back here and invest my time trying to help you guys.

You're all unforgivable assholes and I hope your lives fall apart in the most traumatizing way possible, you self-entitled spoiled pricks.

How is it possible for a board to be so infested with so much more bullshit and half-truth information than even fucking /x/.

Fuck all of you faggots.

>>18099582
Just a few weeks, and I'll be there looking for you. Please be around for me to find, I miss you too.

And you, Anon.

I wish I could eat normally. I don't know why it's so hard to just function.

>>18099542
*copied

also, you are not special or worth copying anyway faggot. please don't ever advise people to act like you do

u look spoiled

>>18099600
clearly did not apply to you you fucking idiot god damn. Stop projecting about yourself

I can't help that I'm super insecure, I go to college during week-days and come home on weekends. I completely hate being home since it allows me to overthink.

I'm slowly losing trust in women; they're so hard to read because they're different. I assume I'm overthinking but I can't help that they act like they're into me but as soon as they're away from me they detest me

Overall I feel empty and pathetic, mainly because I feel like I'm way over my head and it's nothing to worry about but i'm afraid i'll be like this for the rest of my life; not being able to trust any woman for the rest of my life due to their unclear intentions

I secretly want someone to tell me how it actually is, I don't care if what I'm thinking is true or not I just want to have a clear mind

Did I imagine that? Tell me I'm not seeing things and you're still alive

I wish I had the guts to break up with my depressive, suicidal boyfriend because over the course of our 2 years relationship I've fell out of love for him due to a lot of things. Right now he's talking to me about how he loves me and needs me in his life and how he wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't there for him, and I'm dying inside everyday.

i fucking hate my social anxiety and it's disabling me from asking out this other boy who might like me back

>>18099528
>I'm never gonna know you now
>but I'm gonna love you anyhow
how does that even work?
Did you break up with him or something?

You're scaring me, Xena.

my boyfriend broke up with me a couple of weeks ago. He said he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now and maybe we could get back together in the future but I don't want to hang on to that hope. I fucked a guy I met for the first time yesterday and I keep thinking about it. If my ex would be hurt if he knew. I don't want to hurt him. Am I a bad person?

>>18100070
He broke up. He has no say in who you fuck.

>>18099830
You won't kill me off that easily.

That night you broke into my home, tied me up, wrapped me in a plastic bag, and drove my car into the river while I was in the trunk... I survived, and now, I'm coming for you.

You had better prepare yourself, this is one thing you won't escape.

>>18099923
You can do it. I believe in you.

>>18098070
Nah, don't worry about it, they can't be you.

I am you.

>>18100108
you're right. I need to stop worrying about him, he probably isn't worried about me.

>>18100110
It'll be an extra strong plastic bag this time, bastard, get out of that.

>>18098517
Happy belated birthday!

Why the fuck am I so scared of life?

I'm trying my best to keep in contact with you and to see you, but it's never good enough. no, you have to yell at me every fucking day when I forget to text you, and then when I finally snap at you for your impatience, you play the sad puppy game. FUCK YOU FUCKING BITCH!!

>>18096400 my father died when I was 9 from a pulmonary embolism. I'm 22 now, and let me tell you, it never goes away, only gets less intense as life goes on. you can never truly let go of someone you love.

My mind must be playing tricks on me. I figured you'd be off in Hollywood chasing your dreams.

much appreciated OP. apology accepted, mistake forgiven, and respect earned for having the integrity to own up to it and set things right.
>might already be obvious to you at this point but just in case: applying "don't fix what isn't broken" to an endlessly distraught community can seem counterintuitive until you consider what draws people to it. when a place exists for those who are confused or in pain to come and try to work through whatever's caused them to be in that state so they can get back to living their lives, the messy interactions that process involves are exactly what you'd expect to see reflected in the place's community
anyway. cheers m8

>>18099593
The person contacted me just little ago. Told me that there is something big happening at the moment. That it would take weeks. No clear message of hope, but contact nonetheless.

>>18100258
Damn, guess that means you aren't mine either.
Good luck, stranger.

I'm lonely

>>18099919
wow that is a complex situation....
have you made an attempt at making him break up with you

>>18100367
same here anon

>>18099973
Blunt-nosed, blank-faced
You move through the world like a
dull doll-eyed shark
while my bleeding hand trails in the water above.
My love.

I think she is a loser
Until she gets another man
Then im like awe fuck!

Over and over and over again

>>18097390
>>18097404
https://youtube.com/watch?v=zj52FbQcVs0

>>118097712
neat. can't say for sure but you might've answered your own question
>The greatest revelation of all is that, I don't even have to do anything to make it work. I am just quite literally being myself.
if so, just stay the course. keep doing what you've been doing. trust your instincts and let it develop

>>18097713
>happened to me.
sometimes the current carries you, sometimes you've gotta swim

I just found out today that one of my ex-boyfriend from years ago killed himself. On his note he listed me for the reason why. His family are taking me to court over emotional damages. The sad truth our relationship is barely a blimp on my radar.

>>18100542
How long did you date for?

>>18100547
8 month.

>>18100557
Well... that's extreme.

Hope you win the case.

>>18100542
Did you give him HIV or something?

How can you get so attached to someone when they never gave you the slightest hope of feeling the same for you. And still go on and continue to want and miss them all the while knowing they're with someone else. How can you still get that warm feeling everytime you make them laugh or smile and feel happy when they're happy when you know they're fucking someone else and have no desire to be with you. How fucking sad is that.

I have moments where I get sick of being hurt and realise he's not worth it, but eventually that resentment fades and although I get it's unrequited, it's still that chemistry I don't feel with anyone else. I still feel attracted to him both mentally and physically. It's like being trapped in quicksand but I'm like diglett at this point.

I have wanted to tell a girl i'm smitten for that i like her but lately, she and a good friend of mine (they were classmates before college and are best friends) have been taking walks and talking a lot.
She texts him a lot, barely texts me.
When i talk to her, her replies and answers are very dull. Neither of them know how i feel, i made a conscious effort not to let anyone know.
Other than that, my life if completely bland.
Wake up, scrub, go to class, go back to dorm, eat, spend the day dicking around, go to sleep, repeat.
I'm not in a position to meet a lot of people, so that's another bland bonus.

>>18100398
Uh, I love you too, then.

Unironically, even.

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I am 90% Sure I have Avoidant Personality Disorder but don't know what to do.

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>>18100781

>>18100182
I'm not sure how much he more I can take it. As corny as it may sound, she truly was my world. God damn I miss her so much. At least the stupid fucking nig was put behind bars.

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>22 year old male
>I haven't kissed a girl
>no car
>no money
>I failed the only class I was taking this semester
>I haven't had a single interview for an Internship after sending out 80+ resumes

Really having trouble finding reasons not to just fucking cry.

I'm 27 and i've wasted my life, I can't accept all that i've wasted. I want to leave.

just found out an old ex is now a single mom

dates don't line up at all, but still, weird feeling man

I'm sorry for being bad at conditional probability

I like you. A lot.
I'm grateful for all the attention you give to me, the time we share, our conversations, the way you make me feel.
I try to ignore my feelings, I try to convince myself that we only are friends. Mere friends.
You have a boyfriend, I have a girlfriend, this is so wrong...

Almost 12 years to the day you died, and it still hurts as intensely as when I first lost you.

I love you so, so much. There isn't a day that goes by without me thinking of you.

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Why did you fucking text me last night you fuck? I don't want anything to do with you or Alex anymore. The both of you destroyed my fucking life, you didn't even apologize, and you expect me to forgive you? Fuck off. I don't ever want to see your god damn face ever again.

1. We reconnected (kind of) finally! I wrote you letters on here like a pathetic human being for months (just like I am now). And then i finally got the courage to text you again. I'm glad we were on the same page. You don't know how much it meant to me to be able to talk to you again, it was so relieving.
I just wish we talked more. I know we shouldn't...given our past. But ya know, you were one of my closest friends. Anyways, I hope you're well. Thought about coming down there to visit and such but I don't want to burden you. i'll talk to you soon hopefully. never forget how great you are.

2. I'm sorry for the time when I was in 7th grade and I gave you a dollar in that bathroom. I didn't know what I was doing and you told me not to tell anyone so I didn't. Now I look at you trying to get clean and all I can think about is how much I helped contribute just by doing that once. You're better than this.

I was gonna write something but then I realized I'd rather jack off quickly before I go out and have a beer, see ya Wednesday!

>Be Me
>Be living with girlfriend
>Things are ok
>Her kid comes over
>Is spoiled
>Self-Centered
>Doesn't share
>Thinks the world revolves around him
>Can't do shit
>She let's him treat me and her and everyone else like shit
>Tantrums when trying to take him away from his precious youtube minecraft/zombie videos
>Hate this fucking kid seriously

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>>18096332
I'm a giant pussy. Had a great opportunity to ask my crush out tonight but I didn't. I don't know if I'll ever get another chance. The worst part is that I'm trying to justify why I didn't ask her out, but the fact of the matter is that I'm just a big old bitch

I don't understand why my friends never include me in anything. I don't think i am perfect but i don't think i am repulsive enough to make them hate me. Why are they my friends in the first place. I want to stop talking to them but i don't want to be completely alone.

>>18101184
Initials?

I failed again. I failed you, God. I failed myself. I can't control myself, and i deserve every suffering i get. I deserve to struggle to lose weight. I deserve to struggle for failing something as simple as 40 days lent with no sex with my girlfriend. I keep making the very same mistakes, over, and over, and over.

I try to control myself, but it seems so hopeless. It's like i'll never be in charge. I'll never speak normally, thinking about what to talk, rather than talk by impulse. I like having a good sense of humor, but i don't want to tell jokes all the time. I want to not have to smile all the time and not be asked ''why are you so serious dude''. But i can't. I try to have more than one persona to try to compensate for one flaw, just to end up with a lot of personas, failing all over, and ending here, again. Feeling sorry for not being able to be a better me. For wasting resources and time. I don't know what to do. I get depressed everytime i fail to control myself. I know i have impulses, i don't want to be a robot. But in situations normal people can act, i act on impulse.

I just want to have more willpower. To say ''No'' to something and stick to it. I'm tired of failing, starting over, and failing, because i never start over to not fail. I fail from the beginning. And no forced smile, no cold or hot shower, eases my pain. I just want to get all those separated parts of myself and tie them together, fit them together, so i can be whole. But i feel hollow. Empty. People around me think i'm the happiest, the most successful. But it's getting harder and harder to say ''I'm fine'' when someone asks how i'm doing.

I'm in a pickle and I don't know what the morally proper decision is.

I like this qt that sits next to me in a class.

it only meets 1 time per week.
I talk to her casually about school work, but i want to connect with her on a deeper level without forcing it

>>18101345
I'm MA
but knowing both of them they don't come on this board haha

>>18101373
Ah, damn. I got something way too similar with #1 going right now. The timing was eerie.

Anyway I hope things work out with you and your old friend, anon.

i think i have a problem with messaging on fb and texts. years of gaming have conditioned me to write a certain way online to others, and i think it's weird/overwhelming to people. it feels so natural to me though, but i'm starting to realize how different it is. it always hurts to get >seen

also, my personality seems like it has big holes in it. i'm really insecure, and have low self esteem despite doing pretty fucking well. i long to be with others but i never feel comfortable around them. i also don't respect myself at a subconscious level. i really need to dedicate myself to becoming the strongest version of myself i can be. only then can i take down my inhibitions, second guessing, and social safeguards that i have slowly built for myself to fit in

I've hit my low point in the past 5 years. I hate every decision I've made, the people I associate with, and the commitments I've made. I'm filled with regret and just keep playing the worst of my failures over and over in my head. I'm trapped in this shitty situation for another month at least, then I go off to be stuck somewhere else for another two stressful years. I wish I could feel differently without having to change things in my life, because there's not much room for change right now.

I'm in a dark place without friends, and it sucks. That's all.

>>18099528
Good taste in music.

>>18101156
Initials...?

>>18101386
Its alright. Same to you!

>>18101421
L.

>>18100781
>see some disease's symptoms online
>oh look 4chung, I certainly suffer from it

Come on. See a real doctor, tell him about your life and regular behaviour and let HIM tell you the diagnosis.

Are you not attracted to me and just too "polite" to leave me? I feel like I disgust you.

Why do you get pissed off at merely bringing up sex? Why does flirting with you always end with you shutting me down?

I care about you so much and you purposefully avoid being physical with me. Why can't we talk about it? Why does bringing up sex anger you?

I got you pole dancing lessons, Vibrators, a massage, we went to the gym. Why are you impossible to turn on?

Why do we have sex for 5 minutes every three weeks, if at all? I feel like I repulse you and you act like it's absolutely fine to just starfish a couple times a month and call it a job well fucking done.

I think it's been two years since it ended. I'm grateful for it. I deleted your contact info and your phone number shortly after. I have one chat app that I could potentially talk to you through but I just don't. I don't really want to. The truth is that I'm happier without you. I didn't think I would be. That was so many years we spent together that it seemed impossible to just be over it. But I am. We've since run into each other and all of your friends still make an effort to stay in touch. I'm okay with never really speaking to you again or having even the casual-est of relationships. You did some awful things to me. You didn't hit me or do anything physically repulsive but you showed me how deeply selfish you were. You helped me decide that I was worth more than you could ever give me. You were a coward. You were dishonest. You were so afraid of being alone you played a part to ensure I wouldn't leave; not until I could be replaced. I'm actually not bitter about any of this anymore. Don't get me wrong, you are an asshole for all of it and deserving of far more ire than you've ever received. I'm just over you, the entire ordeal and unwilling to devote any extra energy to deliver this message to you ever. This is me letting it all go once and for all. Thanks for the early years. Those were pretty okay. The rest of it you can go fuck yourself with. Maybe the next time I run into you, I'll be the one pretending I don't know who you are. Maybe I won't have to pretend. Fucking dumb.

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My girlfriend is cheating on me and I'm too much of a pussy to kick her out and I cry about it every time I'm alone.

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>>18101477
>can't get hit by blue shells if youre not first

but thats fucking wrong, NoA is fucking cancer.

>>18101468
I hope this is me in the future

honestly, I wouldn't care if you died, you abusive piece of shit

just text me back ;_;

>>18101519
first letter of your name?

>>18096332
It bothers me that "chest" and "now" are capitalized.

>>18101543
I bet that was a relief

>>18101308
Lol, that's what you get for being a cuck and raising someone else's kid

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>>18096332
I seriously need to stop sleeping with my friends and other men's wives/girls.

>>18101538
s

>>18101562
Good idea.

>>18101562
What friends?

>>18100781
hi. First thing: the event or combination of events or extended experience or whatever it was that set you off? talk that through with somebody. Second thing: start doing things that make you uncomfortable. start small in the beginning, ease your way in, let yourself adjust, then build up and do a little more, etc etc rinse and repeat. doesn't matter which of these two things you do first, only matters that you do both of them. and the first thing is also a rinse and repeat deal. when you can talk about it without struggling to get the words out and wanting to run from the exposure and vulnerability of opening yourself up, that's mission complete. Third thing: professionally led & organised group therapy can be of great assistance for the first two things. Fourth thing: a few sub-/forums for support exist online. they taste like tumblr. suggestions that run contrary to their preferred narrative tend to incite a hostile reaction - which in itself does no real harm, however it isn't helpful in any appreciable way. going along with said narrative (defeatist, treats it like a death sentence, rigid) is similarly unhelpful though could possibly be harmful if you eventually do buy into it. highly recommend not getting immersed in those. Lastly: have patience with yourself. courage is not the absence of fear. failure is useful.

I had an amazing girlfriend, wife material, and I dumped her because of some abstract reasons (personality incompatibilities) and the fact she wanted children and I didn't

Now I got a new girl and I have this constant feeling nothing changed related to the "abstract reasons", except this one has some annoying traits I didn't notice at the beginning and now they are showing up and getting me annoyed

>>18101308
Kind of obvious: dump the girl if you hate the kid...

>>18101036
You gonna contact them? They probably got knocked up by some bloke who bailed on them. Unless it was you.

Why the fuck do I always drink so much? I don't even remember how we got home. And I probably woke up my parents trying to get in and said embarassing shit to them...I fucking hate myself so much.

I really wish I'd paid closer attention to your warnings. when you said you almost lost your sanity I thought you were just joking or over exaggerating, but I almost lost mine just like you...thank god it's all over now. I really do wish we meet again at some point. you were a very good friend and I've never met anyone else IRL aside from you who listens to as much vidya music as I do

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Someone screencap this for the next guy who asks if he should move in with an ex.

>have oneitis for 13 years
>she gets married and starts a family after leaving me
>her husband eventually kicks her out of his house
>she couch surfs for two years
>i finally buy a house and ask her to move in with me
>everything is great for a couple of weeks
>she flirts and shows off her body a lot
>then she stops flirting
>then she moves her daughter in
>then she loses her job
>then she gets arrested on felony drug charges
>then she moves her unemployed father and brother in
>then she starts sleeping with her husband again IN. MY. HOUSE.
>then she moves back in with her husband and sticks me with her father and brother
>mfw i got exactly what i deserved

Don't be a pathetic beta cuckold faggot like me

I have 16 hours to do finish a report. I want to laze away and write short stories. Why do we always want to do what we're not supposed to do? Especially when that thing is due...

Just wanna finish this as.efficient and as effective as possible.

**

Waiting for the spring so I can go run and sweat and run. I miss waking up early and running , fasting and eating a healthy meal. Next winter I will get a gym membership so I can run on the treadmills.

**

I'm improving my meditation. I look forward to quiet moments when. I'm alone. Lots of past memories come up and the pains associated with them but. I am able to take a deep breath and call it for what it is, a memory and a feeling. And then there's nothing but me and the breath. I love this feeling of contentment, without external dependencies. I want to maintain this and not lose it. I want to protect this little secluded place within me.

>tfw you told her about 4chan and now you're pretty sure you trolled her on a board

you can fuck off tho hoe

I've never felt so betrayed. It's been a few days since I broke up with my boyfriend. I've learned that he talking such things about me with other people.

Broken trust and broken heart.

>>18101981
kek

>>18101964
The worst part about it was I was content with my incel status before this. Now im not and i cant even bring anyone home because my house is full of freeloaders.

>>18102005
Why are you letting these things happen in the first place?

>>18102031
I said i was a pathetic beta cuckold faggot didnt i? Im a pussy dude. I hate confrontation and i also can't bring myself to hurt other people even to help myself.

I love you and don't hold any bad feelings towards you but I want to break up because your dick don't work like it supposed to.

I want to be with someone normal.

>>18102036
Have you talked to him about it? Maybe he drinks too much or watches too much porn or masturbates with a death grip. These are all problems that can be solved.

>>18102035
Maybe start with a soft approach so it won't feel like you're confronting. They would probably understand you bcs you were just helping and they have to be sensible too.

The chances of that are astronomical.

>>18101964
I think you should assert yourself and kick the two people out.
>>18101981
I told.my.ex about /adv/

I like to think I probably.gave her advice here

>>18101981
The chances of that are astronomical.

>>18102072
holy...I want more

>>18102047
I know i should but i probably wont. They would be screwed if i did that.

>>18102107
That's not part of your problem. These people will only drag you down along with them. Your choice.

LET ME DIE I'M SO TIRED OF THIS BULLSHIT

>>18100070
You met a guy for the first time and you already fucked him that same day? Damn where do you live so that i can move there. I'm sure there's plenty of girls like you in the city you live in. It's gotta be a college city right?
Damn how slutty girls have become since the 90's..

>>18102130
Drag me down from where? Im already at the bottom.

To be fair these guys moved from another state and are waiting for their house to sell. They will be gone eventually but i got the impression they would only be here for a few weeks. I didnt know they had no income and no plan. I will probably be stuck with them for a year or more. They are trying to be cool about it. They gave me $300 which is at least $200 less than the going rate on craigslist (plus bills) but at least it's something and the father cooks and feeds me real food. They are good peoples and i love them but i want my house and my life back.

I guess i should use the next year to go full cocoon mode.

I admit it, and I won't ever hide it anymore: you broke my heart. I loved you, and I wanted you to love me too.

Now, every time I even think about you, I get so nervous. I know it's not normal.

I never thought I was sick, but, I'm worried I'm mentally ill. Depressed. I always felt in touch with reality, but I think my life just broke into little pieces when you left. I've been trying so hard to fix myself, put myself back together, but maybe it's not working. I really don't want to take antidepressants though. But I've been sad for almost . . . 10 years? And now, what happened with you, realizing someone I loved didn't love me, maybe it broke me.

I tried to avoid all traces of you online, but you popped up, and keep appearing. You're like a ghost haunting me. I even created new accounts that were supposed to be free of you, but you're there. And I think I've seen you a few times in the street as well. I can't be sure, though. I hope not.

I want to escape from you and never think about you again, but, at the same time I can't let you go, can't forget your eyes, your embrace, your voice, the time we spent together.

V, are you destroying me? What should I do? How can I go on without you?

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>>18102514
fucccck this is literally me, except its only been 2 years.

I dont want it to be 10, I have to find a new bitch ASAP.

thats the only way to forget about her

>>18096583
zoe

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>>18102514
lol christ if someone I know named V thinks this is me i'd die irl.

stop posting initials it makes people paranoid.

fuck sakes.

-r

I'm frustrated because my fiancee is in a band and working on the development of the story of an upcoming game, and she didn't ever make a single effort to achieve these things. I'm happy for her, because she kinda liked those things, but also I get pissed off so much 'cause I have been trying so hard to get into a band AND to work in some game development... I've been gaming since I was 4 (I'm 31 now) and I'm learning guitar and singing since I was 15... And yet I got nothing, I'm just a government employee .

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>>18102591
>non famous people in bands

>>18102602
I just thought of getting into a small band. You know, playing at pubs/bars, not in big gigs. Stone Sour, Poets of the Fall, Queens of the Stone Age, Audioslave, Pearl Jam... That kind of stuff.

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>>18096332
I can't masturbate to porn that features people.
Watching porn with real people having sex disgusts me.
I can only fap to 2D and SFM stuff.

Is this a problem?

>>18102564

I've been sad about other things for ten years; as for that person -- it's been 8 months.

2 years of this would suck.

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>>18102646
yeah it sucks ass,
its actually about 6,

4 years for another girl, then i met a new girl and forgot bout her, but now that new girl of 2 years ago hurt me and i feel the same way again.

I find comfort in knowing finding a new girl will help me forget about her completely.

I'm lonely
My cramps are painful
My attention span is too short
Help me

God my whole lifes like some test

>>18096332
you really should have not taken your clothes off in front of everyone, your body looks gross. what the fuck is up with those nipples lmao

you're so fucking embarrassing, every time i think i like you i remember how cringy everyone probably thinks you are and remind my self to avoid you.

when you told me you were bullied in middle/high school and they called you a faggot it's makes a lot of sense i would have too if i knew you then.

faggot cuck

>>18102669

it will keep happening over and over again and get worse and worse each time unless you fix what's inside

>>18102691
Study the test and pass it.

>>18101964
You poor sucker. Here's a song for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_qMagfZtv8

Sorry for being the densest motherfucker alive. Sometimes it would be days later..."wait, what?" Mix in self-doubt and bad advice and you have a recipe for regrets.

I have no idea what I'm doing, you may think I'm doing this for you, or your boyfriend (D)but I'm doing this just to win against him (H), he is so much like me yet so different, I want to crush him, if that means crushing you along with him so be it, I don't even care about the fact that I'm one of the closest people you've ever had, because you have lied to me, betrayed me with him and he has done the same, all behind my back and now I'm doing everything to separate you and H completely under the pretense of trying to fix your relationship with D but it's not like that, your relationship with D is already doomed and all 3 of you are guilty, I will do whatever it takes to stop H just because of how much I hate what he is, he thinks he can do whatever he wants?
He thinks he can control people?
I might seem dumb and trusting but I always know what's happening, I have the ammunition to ruin both of you, I'm just too hesitant to use it now.

Sad thing is I love you
I love you and I hate you
I wish you happiness yet wish to break you
Maybe it's just that I haven't forgiven you
I don't know what to do

I have come to the conclusion that I am dumb as shit. Like literally fucking retarded. I used to think in was clever because I was good in school. Not in the real world though...

>>18103205
No truly retarded person posts here. I've noticed a strange and counterintuitive number of extremely bright anons. Acting. This place is great for actors and writers ( like myself) who enjoy writing "in character."

I am hopelessly in love with my male best friend. Assumed that moving away from him things would become easier and I'd heal. That's partially true but I've never stopped thinking about him. I remember that Thursday two weeks ago I stopped feeling our connection. It doesn't hurt, just sucks. I'll wait by the sea for him. I know he will not come for me. But when it becomes warmer, I will wait each day with baited breath that I will hear his bike and he will say the words, "I have missed you, my special girl". I dream of your cuddles, your warmth, your sleepy noises. Do I haunt his dreams like like he haunts mine? I'm sorry. I'm relieved you will never read this, DC. No matter who I spend time with, it's just a buffer until you call my name, waiting.

Why can't I stop overthinking things? I don't know if you want me as more than a friend and honestly I don't even care, I just want some conclusion. Your mixed signals aren't helping either. I've spent so much time trying to interpret the signs, insisting it's either one way or the other, and then reaching no conclusion whatsoever. I can't help but overanalyze every single word you say, every movement you make and every smile you direct at me. It's retarded, useless and really fucking childish but I can't stop doing it. Can't even focus on my exam for tomorrow. Enough of this, I'm asking you out tomorrow. No pussying out

I can't do this any more
please talk to me
I'm really hurting

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I haven't seen you since last semester, and I just noticed we walk near each other twice a week after class (while you are going to class, I'm assuming). I definitely plan on going up to you and saying hi, how was your spring break, how is your semester going, the usual student small talk. I'd like to ask for your number too, but I'm terrified of coming off as a creep and making you fumble around for an excuse to turn me down or giving me your number and agonizing over ghosting me or something. I also don't want to be too forward by suddenly asking you for your number after having one class with each other and barely talking to each other, though I do think you are interested in me. I'd wait to ask for your number, but I feel like it would be even harder to ask you if I don't ask you that first time I come up to talk to you.

On second thought, I wonder if writing down my number on something and slipping it to you whenever we say hello a second time will be fine and not too indirect.

I wish i could talk to you so that i can stop being autistic whenever youre near. I havent had interest in anyone for two years so i really want to try something with you. Also sorry for the times you caught me autistically staring at you

>>18103500
>Also sorry for the times you caught me autistically staring at you

If you're G (female) then it's okay, I liked it.

>>18103500
Cuute

>>18100795 I highly recommend you see a grief therapist. it really helps to ease the suffering, and gives you a much better way to cope with your loss. did the monkey get sentenced to life, anon?.

i wish i wasn't such a pussy and could just ask you out. i want to be with you more than anything. i need you

I love you, please don't go away

Does anyone else always fall for people you can't have/ that're too good for you?

edgy i know

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This month is going to be hell.

I have to take an SAT this saturday that I know for a fact Im going to fail no matter how hard I study, which means I probably have to go find a shitty job after that just to keep my goddamn parents happy. I also have to deal with shitty family members I havent seen in years at some point. On top of that by the end of the month I have to get my wisdom teeth taken out and Im absolutely terrified by the idea of any kind of surgery.

I'd rather die desu.

>>18103831
yeah i always do that and ignore the ones that want me cause im a dick

but you know what, high standards low expectations, thats the way to go in all facets of life

>>18103954
Have you taken and failed the SAT before or is this your first time?

>>18103954
lmao. wait until you enter college and your 20's kid. These issues will be nothing in a few years.

also just go to community college after high school, your standardized testing scores are void if you go for 2 semesters as well as your GPA in high school. Did that and got to go wherever I wanted. also saved a lot of money.

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I'm back on my bullshit again

I'm fuckin drunk and high

I need a girl that can be the yin to my yang

I just need her to be passionate, dedicated, interesting and committed

That's the reason I can never forget you Kate

I've never found anyone like you before and I've fucked everything up and now you have Chris and I can't take it anymore I need you, and only you.

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I got cat called for the first time today. I feel warm and fuzzy inside desu~

>>18104105
drunk high and alone, hey brother welcome to 4chan, where we can all be alone together.

in other news, ive never watched firefly or cowboy bebop. i just dont think space pirates are really my thing.

>>18104200
Fuck firefly watch cowboy Bebop it only 25 20 mins episodes. One of the best animes which got me into anime in first place also no pirates in it?

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This is the third time in three days I've posted on this thread... I think I need help...

Why did you have to leave? I loved you, more than you could fathom. You both were my brothers. We lived, grew, learned, and fought together for 2 decades. I've known you both more than anyone else in my life. I used to think this was all my fault, and truthfully, it was. As time goes on, I miss you both. It's been 5 months already. 5 months I've had to go without you both. If there's anything I've learned in these 5 months, it's that I shouldn't rely on others to be there for me as much as i am for them. Over these 5 months, I met new people, reconnected with old friends, and learned much more about myself. You both were my friends. We'd have bonfires, we'd have sleepovers, order pizza, hangout after school or during the summer, when we were little we played Army on the playground, we all thought we'd get an apartment and be roommates. The more write, the more that's coming back to me. You both were there for me whenever I needed you, but you weren't this time. You're nowhere to be found now.

I wish things could go back to how they used to be.

>>18104221
i know its supposed to be a great anime, but every time i try to watch it im bored out of my mind. i cant place my finger on it but the show just cant keep my interest for shit.

>>18104249
How far did you get? The first 4 or 5eps are assembly of the crew it just gets better and better after that

>>18104259
normally when i watch anime i can binge dozens of episodes at a time but with bebop i could only watch like one or two before i got bored.

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>>18104275
That's because there is no filler apart from like 1 EP everything is relevant whereas these new animes no actual shit happens for ages never mind it's 510am here and I need to sleep I apologize good night anon

No matter my situation, I never change. I had a great girlfriend. She didn't stop me from being a mopey, self-obsessed piece of shit. I picked myself up and got a job, but I have no ability to relate to any of the people I interact with on a daily basis. I'm repulsed by myself and by everyone around me. I don't want anything anymore. I masturbate out of habit. The things I used to enjoy yield diminishing returns. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to reach for.

Sorry about the time I forced myself into your plans. I had a thing about going to the movies alone and I really wanted to see [redacted]. Seemed like I cursed that evening.

>>18103424
Hey there. It'll be ok. The pain will go away. Everything will be normal again soon.

I'm sorry I fell in love with my friends girlfriend, I'd never meant for that to happen. I've always felt alone when it came to women and thought I could never find someone I would love, than you introduced me to her when you guys started dating. I've never liked her at first in fact I tried everything I could not to like her. Than I talked to her and feel in love with who she is as a person, it teared me up inside the issues he made you go through but I just kept it to myself. Now your relationship is strong and I hope for the best, it's just I think other people would be better than him. I love you more than anything but I know it will never work out.

>>18103377
You sound psychotic. If he cared you would know. Move on

>>18104303
Reach for success and happiness. Find something that matters to you. Find a purpose. Perhaps a career where you really feel like you're making a difference in this world. Reach for the ability to love yourself. Good luck in everything you do anon. I believe in you.

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My life is shit. The only thing that makes me happy is my pet cat, booze and these reoccurring dreams I keep having about a beautiful woman. They're not sexual, but very soothing. Last night I had one that was simply both of us sitting under a tree while she sang.

>>18104482
Trust me when I say that's not a dream, that's destiny. I've had dreams like that since I was a toddler. In one way or another, they actually came true.
One dream I had was that I was this huge guy (not /fit/ huge, not fat huge, just huge) and I was walking back and forth in a giant kitchen. Turned out this became my first job, right down to the floor tiling matching my dream's. I had this one when I was 7.
Sadly, at 5, I had a dream where most of my family die off and I'm the only one remaining. It turned out that my most beloved ones died while the rest became homeless or rehoused to another family.

I never forgot those days and I keep reminiscing about them since then.

My point is that someday, such a woman will come to you. Maybe not romantically, but you'll meet her for real soon.

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Tbh I post in these threads hoping for random anons to comment on it cause it makes me feel like what's happening in my life actually means something. It's pathetic but all my irl friends are shallow and only have me around when they want.

>>18100615
I know how you feel.
I'm stuck in this exact situation.

I hate myself over this and wish it worked in my favor, but I know it won't.
It won't. No matter how much I wish.

I still have hope, though.

>>18104576
Do you have a kik so we could talk about what's going on in your life?

(1/?)

Hey, I just popped in to say what I never told you before, despite how much you begged for it when we broke up. I felt love for you even then and I've never been one to say hurtful things, and besides that, I just wanted to be done with you. I was too tired to tell you the truth because I knew what would come after would be nothing good. Here it goes:

FUCK you.

You manipulated me for years. I'm damaged goods now. I'm happy with my new boyfriend after a year, so happy. But it's a constant struggle not to hate myself or expect that he thinks the worst of myself constantly. It's a struggle to remember it's okay to put myself first, sometimes, that small disagreements with him won't mean that he'll be an asshole to me for the next three hours while telling me to "stop pouting" or to being dramatic when I show something bothers me. It won't mean a silent treatment far after I apologize for whatever I did wrong (even though lots of times, it was nothing, I was just tired of being sneered at and if it meant we could move on if I ‘let you win’, I’d do just that), and it won’t mean you refusing to say “I love you” as punishment. Like I was a child that didn’t deserve affection if I did something to make you irritated.

I constantly monitor my actions to see if I’m in anyone’s way, if I’m bothering anyone, if what I say next will mean awkward silence before someone calls me stupid. I’m learning that people don’t do that, just my asshole of an ex-husband for no reason other than to lower me.

I’ve been having a lot of anxiety lately and it’s because of how you treated me. My self esteem has suffered tons, and I’m shy and quiet now, and I stutter, and I apologize probably fifty times a day for small things that bother nobody. I go to great lengths not to inconvenience people, to ask for no help, to try and anticipate what other people want so I can get up and serve them.

>>18104675
(2/?)
Because deep down I think I’m not worth being helped, I’m only there to give other people what they want. I’ll never forget how I served you dinner every night, how you couldn’t be assed to get it yourself because “you worked today”. How you asked me to get up and get you things from the kitchen all the time, a glass of water, make you a sandwich, get you a pack of cookies, a bowl of ice cream, clean the litter box, appease your mother who I fucking hated living with. I’ve never ever seen you do a load of laundry or fucking run the dishwasher (I’m pretty sure you don’t know how to do either of those things) and when I didn’t have it done when you came home from work I was a shit wife and a lazy, unmotivated woman. No matter how busy I seemed and no matter what you were doing whether it was watching TV or fucking around on 4chan, it was my job to get up and serve you. I can’t remember a single time you ever offered to get me anything. When we broke up you admitted that you did that on purpose to make me ASK for it. For some kind of fucked up powerplay, and I laughed. How could I be so stupid? Of course I’d never ask, because I wasn’t worth being helped. I remember Josh, a seventeen year old boy we played DnD with, overheard you asking me to get up over and over and over and I don’t know if I ever told you but he messaged me all the time with “What the fuck? Why does he do that? Why can’t he get it himself? Tell him to fuck off” outside of telling you to cut it out. I felt touched. He isn’t a full grown adult yet and even back then he was watching out for me better than my 27 year old ex-husband ever did. He’s doing great now, by the way. Thomas and I are going to fly him over here for his spring break to spend some time with us at our apartment. We love the kid. You didn’t, I remember, because he was a cunt to you but can you blame him? Anyway.

>>18104679
3/?


You know I used to think I was fat because of the remarks you made? How you pinched my belly, or thighs, and laughed. Or how you kept telling me to hit the gym, how you told me you’d leave me if I was fat. I know you think that was funny but I told you constantly it hurt my feelings and you wouldn’t fucking cut it out. I was really unhappy with my body and yesterday I found a picture of myself, the one of me on the rocks at the beach and.. holy shit was I thin. My arms were skeleton thin! Anorexia thin! How silly was I? I still feel chubby because I’ve gained about twenty pounds over the last year but it’s fine, actually. I’ve got a bit of a belly, my hips are wider and my arms don’t look like the bones of a bird anymore, but I’ve never felt more wanted or loved.

Sometimes I do silly things like withdraw over a single remark or a shift of someone’s body, and I overthink. “Do they hate me? I’m horrible, I’m annoying, why am I so fucking stupid?” and logically I know it’s nothing but all I hear is your voice telling me “why don’t you know better? it’s common sense.” like you used to tell me all the time. “It’s common sense, why aren’t you getting this?” God I used to feel so dumb. You called me stupid so often it was like a pet name. Actually thinking on it, it was LITERALLY a pet name for you. Since I left a lot of the people I’ve spoken to, like people who gave job interviews, new friends, people on the street (I’ve been pushing to be as little like you as possible when it comes to other people, which means genuinely giving a shit about people and being outgoing, something you always detested. You hated it when I was nice to people or gave anyone attention, or wasted time talking to other human beings that weren’t you), have actually told me... I’m smart.

>>18104682
4/4

They don’t have a reason to tell me I’m smart, they don’t know it’s something I’m sensitive about, but they listen to me talk and they tell me I’m intelligent and well-spoken. It’s a strange feeling but also kind of an ‘ah ha!’ moment. I was always this way, you just shut me down.

I know you’re going to therapy as you’ve told me. That’s good, I’m happy for you. I hope your therapist is working on getting you to accept anyone that isn’t your idea of what they should be. That it’s okay for people not to be perfect or fit in your stupid fucking box you like to put people in. Human beings are not around to be put on a pedestal - when they behave differently than you want, that’s okay. It’s called not being a sociopath.

Alright, I think I’m done. I’ve been looking for these threads for a while to have a reason to get this out into the world. I know you told me you don’t go on 4chan anymore, but either way I don’t really care. I have love for you, I always will, you took up a third of my life and it’s hard to shake off. But seriously? I want nothing to do with you, and lastly, fuck you.

I was the one who ate the last piece of pizza in the fridge

>>18104571

Damn, that sounds rough anon. I hope you're doing alright in general. I've only lost one very close family member and that was my grandfather. It really messed me up since I spent a ton of time with him leading into my teen years. My parents are getting older now and I'm really terrified of them passing as well.

I really don't believe in my dreams though since the only one came true that lead into my parents splitting. The rest have been just comfort from my daily life. I do hope that I one day cross paths with a person that is as beautiful as the song and person in those dreams.

>>18103831
This
Always attracted to the ones way out my league, except they usually pretend to like me for shits and giggles

That's just life.

>>18104576
>It's pathetic but all my irl friends are shallow and only have me around when they want.

I've ditched everyone like that in my life. My good friends now, those I've known for a decade, we've all seen each other at our lowest, sometimes those small moments of weakness, sometimes for a stretch of time, but those moments really show how much of a shit they give. The vulnerability in maintaining such a relationship, not just being some accessory to don on certain days fucking shows me they give a shit. They're flawed and make me mad sometimes but I know they'd be the type to lend me a hand after giving me a lecture. Get rid of people that don't care about you. Find those that genuinely do.

It's difficult but I wish you luck.

>>18102572

;)

>>18102690

How long has it being going, the short attention span?

This morning marks one week since we last spoke
It's not the first time, but it has felt like the longest week of my life
I've learnt my lesson, surely I've hurt enough for you to be happy
Please just let me talk to you

>>18104958
B?

>>18104964
No
Sorry, anon

>>18096332
I really really want to write to you but I have nothing good to say since my life is gone to hell at the moment. I am in need for self preservation. Anyways don't think I'm not interested in talking to you. I have been thinking alot about you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BciOfJsqh7M

Fuck you you goddamn slav piece of shit. Is this the first time you've ever lived in a first world country? If I have to pick rotting food and plastic wrap out of the sink one more goddamn time I'm going to lose it. Must be nice showering in a clean, unclogged tub. Maybe this week I'll get the puke and shit off the toilet. You should have been evicted a week ago, and now I have to tell my bro he's gotta find a new place to stay. It's a wonder this country even puts up with your disgusting, antisocial ass.

I'm enamoured by the idea of advocacy and I have this terrible fear of death. When I don't restrain myself in certain ways, like if I do drugs, indulge sexually, avoid an obligation I start to get obsessed with the inherent lack of meaning in things, and in some vague way, I feel preoccupied with death. Yet I always am slacking off and so I always have this weird fear and obsession. So advocacy seems appealing to me, but out of reach. I don't know what principle to act on when my life is framed by deviance, or maybe an irrational feeling of deviance and embarrassment for even petty things. Anyone feel me?

Now that my friend has broken up with his girlfriend I want to make a move on her but I know she's crazy and it will be a dick move in general. So I'm trying to make a move on her friend who seems to not even know I exist.

>>18104236
what happened anon?

I can't win.
I wish it was just you and me in this, but I can see your sister influencing your mind in this. She never liked me, and as you told me before, she was always jealous of us. I know she had a crush on me before we met.

Not sure what her goal is, but hope we get past this.

off yourself you hypocrite seriously fuck you i hope you suffer. you're so full of shit. i never deserved to be in pain you did fuck you i hate you

like you ever fucking cared at all you leech go die

I wish you would want me again. I don't care what it takes. I love you too much to be without you. We were supposed to be happy.

Why is it so difficult?
I don't even care about pussy, it's the companionship and closeness that I want. I feel so lonely and distant from anyone else at the moment, but I guess I'm expecting too much of someone by expecting them to somehow magically fix that void in me.

>>18105291
Same, anon.

>>18098302
>>18097720

Well, I came clean with her, and got this reply
""Well I really appreciate your honesty. I'm just so focused on myself and what I'm doing with my life, I don't have the time to pursue anything with anyone""

>>18103704
He did but in Britain it's nothing. 30 odd years for a 20 year old. I feel I'm unable to vent my frustration because it's genuine racism. Some cotton picking fuck murdered the love of my life.

I have been offered a grief counsellor but I can't see the use of it. I will often, when not at work, go sit next to her grave. It helps me feel most at peace. Do you have experience with a grief counsellor? If so what do they do?

You don't like me that way. I am trying really hard to get over it. Excuse me for not wanting to talk to you for a while but I'm doing that to save our friendship

I wish I could be as important to you as your sister is. And I wish I could be as important to your sister as you are. Even though you are my girlfriend and the one I will probably share the life with, and even though your sister is probably my best friend, I know deep down I will always ALWAYS never be a prioriy to neither. It makes me jeoulous, it makes me sad, I tried so much and gave so much, I always put you first, but i allways come second or third to you.

>>18105376 I do have experience. what they do is offer you a place to express just how much you miss that person and to talk about how it's affecting your daily life. the most effective technique they can teach you is how to view the death of your loved one and to better understand what you're feeling and how to cope. when my dad died, I was very young and viewed death differently than say an adult or teenager. I never talked about how I sad I was because I didn't want to upset my family, and that hurt worse as I grew up and began to understand what death really was and how it would impact my future.

>>18096332
It's okay man if you looked at them. Thoughts are thoughts and it happens to anyone in the world. Watch them come and go. No big deal. Don't resist and make yourself more depressed. You'll feel good after you have finished writing this. Always try to be passionate to yourself and be the better person. good luck to you.

I wonder how much I can still fucking take. So much evil in this world and all I can do is just stare. Sometimes, I just want it all to end. The void seems like paradise compared to all this excess.

>>18104983
Hang in there Anon. Maybe sharing what's hellish about your life ATM might be good for you?

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I just want a friend. Just one will do.

Oh, and a girlfriend would be nice.

Anything so I'm not sat on my own all night long...

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>>18096360
>tfw he's talking about Jews

D I S G U S T I N G

i know this isnt the usual content of this threads but its not like i can share this info with anybody without being awkward. i've always had problems with condoms, i can never seem to fit them and they hurt etc.

I learnt about custom fit condoms, went to the website of a famous one (mysize), downloaded some silly thing the have to wrap around your dick and calculate your girth/width whatever, and I came out as the biggest one they sell, 69mm. afaik that's like 15mm wider than normal durex condoms

this looks like bragging but I've always felt so self-conscious about my size (im below average in length) and just knowing that i'm pretty high in width has made my day. im even excited (no pun intended) to go and buy those condoms tomorrow. also maybe whenever i get the chance to fuck again i will actually feel/enjoy something during piv.

A, I don't know what to say, but I do think of you.. Hoping you'll figure it out, good luck and I'll be here. -J

Why is it that every time I'm around you, you go full blown austist? I can't tell if you're ashamed to hang out or if you actually like me. Do I need to drop my spaghetti again just to try gage your reaction?

I hate employment, I don't want a fucking career or a job.

tfw my crush has a mutual crush on a guy who actually survived a gunshot meaning I can't even think of killing him and just gotta accept the fate

I feel like I will actually apply myself to turn my life around after I get a girlfriend. I'm unemployed and kind of a deadbeat. But I know some guys like that, who aren't exactly good looking or have money, and they got a girlfriend and THEN started applying themselves to change their life.
But I've only ever been interested in one girl in my life, who probably would never ever be interested in me and I have no other interest in life right now. I don't have any other goal. People say you should first love yourself and become better and then look for a girlfriend but that doesn't make sense to me. I don't want a random person and I need motivation to make an effort. If I get the reward first I know I can work to be worthy of it afterwards.

>>18105754
N?

>>18105754
That's because you're so hot, I just can't help it.

As much as I feel bad about everything to do with you, still it's better than feeling bad about everything else. You are contained, abstract, something like a film I might have watched as a child and compulsively rewatch as an adult, searching for clues about myself, seeing synchronicites that are unintentional.

WHY AM I AND MY DICK SMALL?!?!?!?!?!?
WHY?!?!?
WHY?!?!?
MY FATHER IS FUCKING HUGE.
HUGE GODDAMNIT HUGE!
HERE I AM A 5' 8" CARBON COPY OF THE FUCKER AND I HAVE TO BE SMALL! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

>>18106176
How small is your dick anon? I bet it's not that bad. My bf is your height and I actually love that he's not overly tall, I find his height to be perfect.

goddamnit, I try to tell myself otherwise, but you're most of what I like in someone romantically. you're just so happy and carefree about life and make me forget about things, why do I take things so seriously? I just wish I could get closer to you and learn new things, but I know it can't be. I don't want to get caught up in something impossible. I guess I'll just have to find someone like you.

months later, i've finally remembered an important part of my nightmare acid trip, and used that to process the message i was supposed to take away it
i'm emotionally a child, and one that throws tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants from the world
i've been trying to self-improve for the past few months but now i KNOW that i simply have a lot of growing up to do

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>>18105070
My two best friends that I've known for my entire life completely abandoned me, destroyed my social life, and left me for dead.

R, i figured it out. the long term mystery is solved lol wow. thats all i can say.

>>18106478
A curious R here. Any clues what that mystery would be?

>>18106252
Why is it impossible?

>>18106356
Like literally left you for dead, or was that a figure of speech?

>>18105751
Figure what out?

Sorry for posting shitty bait. The real thing I wanted to apologize for was my erratic behavior. I tried to keep it together and failed.

>>18106980
We all have days like that, anon. Don't worry too much.

>>18106798