How do I stop feeling inferior to people who have had romantic

>>18095481

everyones got their strengths and weaknesses.

the guy who can code doesn't fuss about the fact taht he can't figure out football. the guy who is jacked doesn't worry about how he can't figure out how to play guitar. so on and so forth.

romancei s more common and you CAN have romance, so just focus on your strengths or go get some.

>>18095489
But I can't have romance, that's the point. I just don't make the cut.

>>18095481
Ahh envy. It's tough. Because you feel something isn't right with you. That maybe it isn't fair.
I can make an elaborate post about all this, but it really boils down to you. Not your imperfections or unchanging qualities(we are malleable af btw), but your own inner image. Your perception.

The more time you spend thinking the way you do, the more concrete the habit becomes. I know from experience from having an inferiority complex myself.

>>18095495

uh huh. cuz everyone of the opposite gender is a homogenously beautiful species, right? only your gender has ugly people?

>>18095506
Yeah I've been thinking like this for over a decade now. It's hard to not do it, I end up crying myself to sleep every day over it.

>>18095507
All the guys I liked in high school were ugly. What's your point?

>>18095519

that anyone can make the cut, they just have to aim low enough. especially if you're a girl. im not saying its going to be easy, or that you can get one in an instant, but as long as you play in your league you'll play fine.

that being said if you want to get past romance, get past romance, build a life that isn't dependent on romance.

>>18095524
But I'm 26, I don't have the emotional energy to continue to try.

Ugly guys want pretty girls, they don't want girls as ugly as them.

>>18095527

if you say so.

>>18095514
Yeah. It's tough, but it can be done. Small steps. You won't be able to change overnight, and sometimes you'll relapse into it all over again. Don't give up though. You posting here is sign of determinism and wanting, so you can never truly give up even if you tried rn.(the ego won't let you give up)

This helped me a bit when I struggled. It gave me ideas, but the real benefit was taking a step back, breathing, collecting my composure, and approaching the issues that face me with a clearer mindset.
https://psychcentral.com/lib/challenging-negative-self-talk/

And I believe you can do it. Heck anyone can do it. Humans, and i dare say living beings in general can do it.

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>>18095481
>feeling inferior to people who have had romantic relationships
Let's dig deeper.
What makes you feel inferior?
Why romantic relationships?

>>18095532
Thank you

>>18095538

>What makes you feel inferior?

I feel subhuman/not a proper person compared to them because they were good enough, they are loveable, they were valuable enough to get a partner. Whereas I'm just unwanted leftovers

>>18095548
>I'm just unwanted leftovers
What makes you say this? Are you comparing your worth with other people?

>Why romantic relationships?
>Is it just romantic relationships, or does every relationship and friendship invoke the same feeling?

>>18095554

>What makes you say this?

Because I'm 26 and never had a boyfriend before, I'm leftovers, unwanted.

>Are you comparing your worth with other people?

Yes

>Why romantic relationships?

Because they were good enough for a romantic relationship and I'm not, I'm low value/worthless

>Is it just romantic relationships, or does every relationship and friendship invoke the same feeling?

Just romantic relationships. I've never had a romantic relationship but I've had friends before.

>>18095559
>Because I'm 26 and never had a boyfriend before
What's so wrong about that? Or a better question: Do you believe the future is set in stone? Like our deeds, actions, and thoughts from our past define us for who we are no and who we will become in the future?

>Yes (I am comparing myself to others)
Do you know what others a truly like?

>Just romantic relationships. I've never had a romantic relationship but I've had friends before.
Have you felt satisfied with your friendships in the past?
You say had as in past tense, does that mean you no longer have any friends?
If not, then are you satisfied with your friendships, or any relationship, right now?

>>18095481
Ive been loved all my life for no reason and its overrated

You basically just do things for other people all day to fuck them later

Sometimes it feels nice to be loved but it also feels nice to just talk to your friends or achieve something that was actually hard

Also relationships are becoming easier to get into because everyone is scared to die alone

Seriously next time you look at a couple just tell yourself that guy is maybe 25% of what he used to be and now he is a slave to another human for something women are willing to sell for 75 dollars

>>18095588

>What's so wrong about that?

Almost everyone else my age has been wanted in that way except for me, because I wasn't good enough

>Do you know what others a truly like?
Whatever they're like, they were good enough for a relationship

>Have you felt satisfied with your friendships in the past?
Yes

>If not, then are you satisfied with your friendships, or any relationship, right now?
Yes, although I wish I had close friends rather than just acquaintances

>>18095597
>Also relationships are becoming easier to get into because everyone is scared to die alone

So why doesn't anyone want to be with me

>>18095609
Idk get on POF, tinder, and some app with bagels and coffee on it.

Swipe yes to literally everyone and see how many swipe you back and tell me you still feel unwanted

>>18095507
why do you assume that everyone who's a virgin is ugly?
lots of people who are quite attractive who don't have romantic experience because of their autism/personality/simple haven't tried enough
(like me, and it's not that uncommon I guess)

>>18095548
>they were valuable enough to get a partner. Whereas I'm just unwanted leftovers
Relationships are mostly dependent on where you're placed and if you've got enough social skills to make yourself pleasant to have around. It doesn't actually depend on your worth as a person.

Relationships aren't nearly as important as biology tells you to believe, at least nowadays.

>>18095481
I'm a 27yo guy with no romantic relationships. Wanna get together?

>>18095618
If you're in London, yes.

>>18095614

i dont assume everyone is, just OP, and i was correct according to OP, so whats the problem?

>>18095621
Ah I'm halfway across the world unfortunately. If you're serious about it I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding a guy on here. He ain't gonna be a chad or even a well-adjusted person though.

>>18095601
>Almost everyone else my age has been wanted in that way except for me, because I wasn't good enough
Is that what you believe it to be about? Have you considered that your self-perception is disabling your ability to see if others are interested in you thus enabling you to feel this way? Often time's we are blind to the approaches of others. It's easy to be distracted by "why are we talking? he cant be interested in me romantically" and most times you are correct. The problem here is that you are justifying interactions and robbing yourself of the experience.

It would seem that you are wounded by the thought of rejection. The more you think this way, the more you'll rob yourself of what you want.

I bet you don't look nearly as ugly as you believe you are.

> they were good enough for a relationship
This isn't always the case. And I'm willing to bet that a lot of the existing relationships are based off of sex and self-image as opposed to romance. Romance is built up by two people, not a pre-existing quality of one individual, but a combination of two or more qualities.

Now I can go deep into theology and philosophy of this next point, but it comes down to:
If they are good enough, then so are you.
Which is confusing at first glance, and would become moreso if I were to explain it all.

>Yes, although I wish I had close friends rather than just acquaintances
Ahh. Here is your real problem.

What is a relationship to you? Describe it in a few words. Maybe in one short paragraph.
Do you feel there is a difference between relationship, friendship, and acquaintances?


>What is my end-game?
Changing your self-perception, in order to change your outlook, in order to change your behavior in relation with yourself and others.

>>18095613
do this