I can't fucking take it anymore, /adv/. Nine fucking years

Did you school have about the same kind of social atmosphere 1984 had, like my school?

>>18095267
The atmosphere was great.
For whatever reason, I turned out quite the social person at school, so people used to like me.
However, I would never actually hang out with anyone outside of school, despite being invited to birthdays, clubs, and whatnot.
Not trying to brag, just showing how much of an ignorant shit I was.

None of this matters right now, though.
These moments are long lost to me.

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If your depressive thread wasn't enough, the Enma gif sure hit the nail in the coffin.

I don't even know how to be of help for you. Is there even a way to help out self-destructive people as you? Heh, if I would know.

RIP in pieces, you poor motherfucker.

PS: If you aren't dead yet, then all I can advise you is talking through Skype or some shit.

>>18095330
Err, I mean offer to talk.

>>18095330
I'm not dead yet, just hurting.

Wouldn't mind having a conversation, but I don't have Skype.
If you don't have any alternatives, I might download it.

>>18095260
Socialise through your job if possible?
Work towards or push yourself and try and get a better job? Surely will meet people that way.

Maybe do something for yourself. Like really basic /fit/ thing of just going jogging or basic exercises and stuff at home. That'll atleast let you do things that keep you busy and are achievable and will pay off too.

>>18095351
It's just a temporary job until I start my apprenticeship later this year.
There aren't really any people for me to talk to, it's hard physical labour. Stacking boxes of magazines for hours on end.
Everyone who works there is 45+.

I've been doing push-up and sit-up at home fairly regularly. Not saying I'm in great shape, but I look verly average.
You could say I'm a big guy, very broad shoulders, and most of my weight is in the thighs anyway, so looks shouldn't be a problem.

Atleast that's what people told me 2 years ago during school.

>>18095349
Besides Discord, I don't have any. Not sure on how to exchange information here since it is a public thread. Any way to PM each other?

If that isn't an option I'll just link my YT channel to message me.

>>18095356
Sound good there then.

And oh, yeah manual labour jobs fucking suck. I mean they're real easy, but yeah. Definitely need to apply for better jobs next time. Maybe go for admin or something.
I went from basic back of the shop to underground admin with dusty files to receptionist. No uni qualifications either.

But if your going on for an apprenticeship, that's a new start in a way for you. Good chance ti actually be a bit more sociable and be aware of any opportunities to be a bit social.

But yeah you're in a crappy situation. I know how it feels. I just eventually got a better job and had decent people around me. But the jobs before that were prettu crappy with no chance of socialising.

>>18095366
My name is Bard Narson on skype, created an account.

Just hit me up if you want to talk, I could really use it right now.

>>18095387
Alright, I searched your name but there are two of them; one has an _1 and the other giggles in it. Which one is it?

But I'm sorry to disappoint you because I cannot talk right now, since I'm about to go to sleep in a few moments. And Friday is planned for the whole day. But I'm completely available on Saturday dood, so hang on man.

Also, are you German or from Europe, by any chance? Because the apprenticeship thing later this year is very common there.

>>18095425
>Germany
Sadly, yes.
Not sure why it won't work via Skype

Post your name and I'll add you, don't worry, nobody is going to harass or dox you.

>>18095437
Can't help being paranoid about this.
Perfect, I am, too, from Germany. Why the fuck am I writing English then?

Also, ist dein Profil das mit dem "_1" oder "giggles" im Nickname? Das ist alles was ich brauche um dich am Samstag verbal zu befriedigen :^]

Wenn es hilft, Deutschland ist für junge Erwachsene, wenn man etwas Pech hat, wirklich Scheiße zurzeit.

Do you have hopes you wish to get out of life?

Not things you think you rather should be doing, or a place in life you rather should be. But things in life you want to do?

>>18095450
Well, it's just generally frowned upon to talk in any language other than english.

I have neither giggles nor a _1 in my name, it's just Bard Narson.
Try both I guess, I have no clue how to navigate that app.


>>18095453
Not really, I've always been the kind of person that just sits at home, listens to music, drinks tea, and just gets comfy.

That has been enough for a while, but now I want a relationship - someone to love.

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>>18095260
You're not an aspie like the r9k guys, you're not disfigured, didn't have bad shit out of your control crippling you, so you can't blame anyone. My guess is you're a laid back, kinda confident and easy going but very indifferent person without any drive. That indifference cripples you in the long run and now you've come to realize.

Going to bars is going to do jack shit because you have no drive to do anything there. Just exposing you and sitting there, wqiting for something to happen wont bear any fruit. You have to find something that drives you or you're going to suffocate in your passivity.

People go out to meet others because they want interaction, drama, love, to escape loneliness, to feel acknowledged, to bond. They hit the gym out of feelings of inadequacy, for the high of achieving results, for the enjoyment of the sport. They train martial arts bacause they want to stop feeling feeble and fearful, because they want to brag, do cool tricks, because they want to protect and because they burn with a passion for it. They study because they want to earn good money, because they want to rise, because they want to learn and because they fear failing in front of their family, friends, and themselves.

Son, you have to become active. You're not a man held by fear, I smell that. If you don't step out, if you don't find the feeling of a drive towards goals, be they stupid or noble, nothing will change and you'll die unloved and forgotten.

For example get some pussy, become a kung fu master, a musician, get into a political party, become attractive, learn to hold a speech. Not because you have to or because I tell you, but because you want to. Find big and small goals, find your will to live, find your drive, ignite a fire inside you. The reason you feel bad is because right now there is none.

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>>18095577
Thanks for the post anon, you are right about everything.

I'm just a little defeatist cuck that would rather drown in self-pity than to actually change anything in hisy pathetic life.
There's no way in hell I'm going outside tomorrow, I know it.

I'll spent the next 10 years working a shit job to sustain my shut-in life, feeling sorry for myself, craving intimacy, until I decided to fucking kill myself.
There is no happy end, no one to save me but myself.

I have to think of people being executed by ISIS.
In their last fleeting moments, their brain seeks out to whatever diety it can as a form of survival instinct to not give up hope, cling to something.
Yet all of them die a horrible death.


I'm on a one-way train to hell, and all I can do is hope that everyone around me enjoys the things in life that I missed out on.

Perhaps this is just melodrama, and my depression go the better of me.
Let's hope that's the case.

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>>18095284
>For whatever reason, I turned out quite the social person at school, so people used to like me.
>However, I would never actually hang out with anyone outside of school, despite being invited to birthdays, clubs, and whatnot.
Weird I was the exact same way.
I had actually had a lot of "convenient" friends at school that I'd chat with and fool around with in the halls but I never hung out with anybody outside of school.
Reality hit me like a wall as soon as high school ended. I realized I didn't make any real friends and went from having like 70+ friends I'd talk to on a regular basis to literally 1, who was my next door neighbor and my best friend.

Was nice being Chad for a few years, but man what a fall I've taken

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>>18095700
>I'm just a little defeatist cuck that would rather drown in self-pity than to actually change anything in hisy pathetic life.

What's eating on you eats on everyone. On every single one. But it is your ticket out. These people captured by the ISIS can't escape their captora. All their fear, frustration are turnt inside and paralyze them. You don't have to invent yourself anew, but to turn what eats on you to the outside. That is your way out, the door is open. Seek for what helps you.

>>18095260
its not that youre procrastinating dude, you just dont have social skills

you're too addicted to easy stimulation. if you actually want to change, cut yourself off from it. nothing is going to feel stimulating in real life when your brain is used to getting socialization, HD pornography , and self inserting hero narratives from video games/movies at the click of a button.
how are you going to convince your brain that you need to study and work hard for years and years and years and go out and face dozens of brutal rejections to find a gf when it believes you should get to be a mystical hero slaying dragons and fucking a harem of big titties porn stars on demand as a reward for stroking a few keys?

I've got a girlfriend, couple friends I hang out with and work at a bar. I live at my parent's place, lost my driver's license a while back and stopped going to university. I don't really know what to do and the future terrifies me.

OP, I don't think it's gonnaget better unless you change yourself. Sure friends and socializing helps but those are just temporary bouts of escapism like everything else. I don't think anything will get better.