>7/10 virgin, somewhat unshaven, little "acne" >somewhat

You blew it, but who cares. Literally one girl out of millions you could viably be with. Don't idealize one random encounter.

>>18092453
You don't want to get hurt? OK, do nothing. Asking for what you want is pretty much the only way to get it. You don't ask, you don't get. "Hey, I had a nice time chatting with you the other day. Wanna hang out some time?"

>>18092467
Fuck, man, I can't imagine that I "blew" it. I fudged it, sure, but I wasn't autistic, just too wrapped up in the mid-term to realize it. Plus, I also dropped that I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep, so that might get me some leeway. Might as well try to get another opening in, right? She approached me, isn't it only fair that I return the gesture properly?

Talk to her again. Got nothing to loose

>>18092472
>had a nice time

That's a good idea, anon. I like it. Only it was a pretty short conversation?

Talk to her again. Though if her talking to another guy makes you feel bad, maybe you need to work on some stuff before you start pursuing girls

>>18092479
What I have to loose is a rope around my neck, tied in a noose and ready to hang a 7/10 virgin
Not really, but you get my point.

>>18092487
I mean, she engaged me. Otherwise, I would wait until I have all that shit sorted out. Like I said, I keep my head down and sit in the front. But I don't want to let an opportunity go by, either. I am kinda attracted to her, after all. She's like right in my range, equal to mine.

>>18092473
I'm not saying it isn't possible to try again, I'm saying the opportunity you had as well as that moment are gone. You didn't take the opportunity, so don't try to resurrect it with "Our last meeting was abrupt". If you want to keep going, think of something different. Get me?

>>18092495
so contrary to
>>18092472
I should just, what? I'm not sure how to re-engage, since the class is once a week and there's hardly a need to study. I dunno how to do what you mean, man.

>>18092494
>I mean, she engaged me. Otherwise, I would wait until I have all that shit sorted out. Like I said, I keep my head down and sit in the front. But I don't want to let an opportunity go by, either. I am kinda attracted to her, after all. She's like right in my range, equal to mine.
Sure, but like I said, if her talking to another guy makes you feel bad, then you have some shit to sort out. People talk to other people, of both genders. It's normal

>>18092508
Might be the only way I can do that is interacting with people, though. Like, I can swallow it, I just mentioned it as to her predisposition, based on the limited time I've seen her. So maybe, she's not interested in me at all, and was just being friendly.

>>18092514
>So maybe, she's not interested in me at all, and was just being friendly.
That is very much a real possibility, yes. What of it though? Are you just going to sit around because there's a chance she just wants to be friends?

>>18092521
I've been cucked before by a girl who said they were willing to get with me, way back in freshman year, with a history of the same shit but less hardcore in HS, so yeah, it would be the worst thing to happen to me in my personal life in 5 years. And then I got cucked less so about 3 years ago, but whatever, I initiated that without much hope. I dunno, maybe I'm a bit stronger now, or at least less tender, but I've gone out of my way to avoid trouble until now. Again, it's just that nobody's ever taken it upon themselves to be that nice to me, giving me something I really needed, even if it didn't help.

>>18092527
Shit happens, get over it.

>>18092453
Just say hey it was cool studying with you lets get some coffee or whatever shit fags like you drink

>>18092530
I am and have been, but I don't want a repeat performance of a scale somewhere between the two aforementioned cucking experiences.

>>18092534
that's in the asking out region
I don't know if that'd be entirely proper.

>>18092527
Fuck mate if getting turned down by girls is the wosrt thing to happen in your life I would gladly swap lives.
I'm 21 and already had a good friend die.

Your just looking for reasons to loath yourself

>>18092543
It's more like, I'm looking for any reason not to further loathe myself, but I won't get into that. I'm just trying to climb back out of the hole that's been dug for me. It's also not the worst things that could happen in my life, one of which happened just a week ago, but it's the one thing that's within my control. So yeah, I'm a little protective of this one.

I dunno. Maybe you're right insofar that I want to hear about myself. But I truly want to find the best way to re-engage this woman, so I figured I might as well come to /adv/ for the first time.

Don't see the problem. You interacted with a female now go out and do it again

>>18092552
Just fucking talk to her.
Ask if she wants to study with you again?
Ask if she wants to grab a coffee before class?
Ask if she wants to have lunch one day?
Hell you could just sit next to her in class and talk to her then

Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.

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>>18092563
It's the circumstances, man. I don't know anything about this SJW feminist college world bullshit where one sentence is wrong.

>>18092569
>study
can't, class is a joke, no opportunity
>coffee
too forward
>lunch
maybe, there is a public cafe
>sit next to
hell no, that's way too obvious, innit?

>>18092588
I though I was socially inept holy god damn.
>>coffee
>too forward
Isn't this the least forward thing to do? Mean I go out for coffee with my mother at time
>>sit next to
>hell no, that's way too obvious, innit?
No this is how you initiate conversation, you do realise people once had to talk to eachother in person before mobile phones were a big thing. And anyway she come upto you while you were studying, did you think it was "too obvious"

>>18092494
you come from nothing
you're going back to nothing
what have you lost? Nothing!

>>18092632
>too forward
I dunno, man. I was raised all conservative and shit. "Coffee" is a form of dating to me. What is it to you, casual conversation? I honestly have no idea what she'd think about it.

And I've been sitting in the front this whole time, she's in the absolute back. And what if I come in and she's got two people on either side?

And and, I dunno, I thought it was a bit out of the ordinary. So what if I'm in her class? Don't talk to anybody, that's how you stay safe, emotionally. Shit, is that why people sit in not-the-front-row, to talk to people? Fuck me, then.

I mean, I can carry on a conversation well enough, but I always feel like the other person can tell I want out. I definitely have no idea how to start one.

>>18092643
Nothing is not an absolute value, when it comes to this shit. I'd rather have nothing than a negative something, which is worse than nothing.

>>18092657
The point is that in the grand scheme of things nothing truly matters. You choose what thoughts you want to listen to, once you understand this your life will change. What could go right? You get a qt patootie. What could go wrong, you get embarrased but you learnt something or even if you didn't you got used to going outside of your comfort zone. Make the situation a win win
Always look on the bright side of life.

>>18092668
It's not a matter of being embarrassed publicly; it's a matter of agonizing over the fact that I failed, that maybe I shouldn't have tried in the first place, that maybe if I had done something, anything, differently, I would have succeeded; and thinking about that for at least a month, driven to drinking and interfering with everything else in my life, all the while having to go to that fucking class every Tuesday and feeling ashamed the whole two-and-a-half hours, feeling like I'm less than what I am.

Then again...

>>18092657
>What is it to you, casual conversation?
Umm coffee?... Its only what you make of it.

Sit next to her man, I mean I can't even hold a conversation and I've the balls to talk to complete strangers. Your going in with more social skill than me. If someone's sitting next to her on both sides, sit a row in front, or behind, can still talk that way

>>18092706
How would I even play that off as cool?

>Well, after the mid-term, I decided that it wasn't worth it to sit in the front row. Might as well sit in the very back!
or
>I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about, sitting in the back.
or (scandalous)
>I saw you sitting in the back, so I figured I'd join you.

??

>>18092681
But you didn't fail, you pushed yourself. You got out your comfort zone. Even if you made an error there will always be someone else, if you're anything like me and crush over any girl that pays attention to you then you'll be fine.
Challenge the negatives, ask why it matters and even if you can't think of something make up a reason for it being beneficial even if it's bogus. Convince yourself that it's not.

You have to begin to think differently, stop saying can't, I will fail etc etc. Think of it like, even if I don't succeed you still succeeded in something. Make the situation unfailable.

Obviously all easier said than done, but please, you want this so do it and succeed because you will, no matter what you do. What I'm saying may be all shit but make youself believe truly that it isn't. Don't dismiss it and say "well I have this issue too or I don't want to cause".

Understand you've failed if you haven't even done anything. You won't get the girl, you won't learn anything. If failure is what you're afraid of then tell yourself you're going to fail unless you try.

Anyway, sorry it might be a whole lot of nonsense for you but I hope you can change. I was similar.

>>18092681
You really need to rethink your concept of failing on this one...

People really obsess over a casual conversation like that? I swear this board makes me feel like fucking Brad Pitt sometimes.

Next class OP: find some situation to talk to her, ask her how she did/how she thinks she did

She did well: congrats! How about we get some coffee to celebrate?
>Smile while saying this captain autismo

She did badly: aw that sucks, lemme get your number, maybe we can set up some studying for next test

>>18092714
>easier said than done

No shit, especially when it's sprung on you. I was gonna try this shit a year from now, at least. Now we got [name omitted] coming in messing everything up.

>>18092722
mmmaybe

>>18092758
Just ain't that cut-and-dry, son. It's a once-a-week class that has a mid-term and a final, two months from now. Not exactly a "we gotta study" scenario. Best I could do in that regard is offer to help her with other work, if/since I helped with the IDs.

Mmmaybe I could hit her up for a celebration thing after next class, but not before

>>18092681
>>18092795
Think about it, ultimately what would you consider failing?

It is a stupid cliche to say: "failing is not trying"
But in this case, you should really think what you stand loosing and what you stand gaining, consider the odds, consider the flavor you will get from the experience as a whole.

It is not so much about the girl, as it is about you imho

>>18092453
you will never be hurt if you avoid relationships altogether

>>18092882
What I want is to be left alone until I'm ready, but this shit went and fucked with the whole program.

>>18092910
Yeah, but...

>>18092988
You might have a chance (slim, big, we don't know), either take it or leave it. If you want to be left alone, that's pretty easy for a course of action.

?

Just talk to her again. It's not like you're never going to see her again anon. The "blew up your chance" is just a meme.

>>18093000
>we don't know

That's what I cam here to find out.

>>18093004
The meme thing is comforting. I think I got a shot, if I play it cool. I just don't know the best way to re-engage, is the real problem.

>>18092795
Dude I can't give you a step by step walkthrough. You're the only one that knows the specific circumstances and what's appropriate or not. Consider it this way: 99% of people have their heads up their own asses so deep and worrying about their own shit that unless you do something extremely ridiculous that you wouldn't even have the balls to do, they'll forget about it in 15 minutes.

>>18093000
the trips of truth have spoken

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>>18093080
I have no idea what's appropriate, but nonetheless good advice via understanding that people got their own shit going on.

>>18093140
I don't believe in Kek, but that advice was wishy-washy anyway!

>>18092473
Nope, you blew it mate. Trust me, I actually talk to girls

>>18092681
Just approach the girl again, find an opportunity and don't pussy out. You ask the girl out for a coffee and worst case scenario she makes up some bullshit and says she's not available or straight up says no. There's no reason to agonize over this for months. Things won't get awkward between you two either, most likely. People love other people's attention and interest, if this girl caught your attention then let her know. On top of that she was the one who approached you first meaning she is somewhat interested in you too. The risk/reward is so fucking worth it, it doesn't even come close man. She accepts your invite to hang out, you have some fun and face your fears/leave your comfort zone, maybe you two hit it off, you get a new friend, best case scenario get a gf, life becomes 10x better, you get your dick wet. She says no, slight awkwardness for the rest of the day and then everything is back to how it was. You grow up as a person and gain resistence to rejection.

>>18093048

>That's what I came here to find out

What the hell are you expecting to find out? Find out if you have chances with her or not? You will never know for sure unless you ask her directly. Sitting here refreshing your page insisting it's either one way or the other, you either "blew it" or you didn't won't help. If you want to find out then talk to the girl. /adv/ is not your personal mind reader

>Should I ask her to hang out?
nope.
just see her as someone you can approach and talk about class with. The obvious thing to ask her is if you want to study together. But I wouldn't study just with her. study with 3 or more people.

generally speaking, if you find a girl attractive enough to feel uncomfortable, then she is above your league, and you should not pursue her, unless you are rich or have some special ability like high charisma.

>>18093157
dude you know what all your posts reek of

fear

you remind me of my way of thinking back when I was 15, and it really makes me think you might be 15

and you also type like a know-it-all which really goes to show your fear even further

either way dude, here's two (hopefully) useful pieces of advice -
1. People can't control your thoughts and actions, only you can
2. You can only control your own thoughts and actions, not anybody else's.

They may seem like the same advice but they're not, they serve different purposes, read them and dwell on it, but I'll explain:

With that logic in mind - try to install the understanding in your head that there is nothing she or anybody else can do that will change you, It's obvious to me that what you're scared of is her rejection and then other people knowing about it and having to live with this, I previously loved a girl for several years without telling her (I ended up telling her later when I had a gf), and the one thing that kept me from telling her is exactly this.

But I was 15, you aren't 15. If I had any good advice to give 15 year old me / you right now it would be to not beat around the bush, if you like her - go up to her face, ask her if she wants to hang out with you (suggest playing a board game together, going out to get coffee/breakfast together, studying together), literally just hanging 1 on 1 gives her and you the leeway to take it forward (that is, if she says yes).
OR - you stop worrying about her, and you stop overthinking about what happened, and truly you let go of any thought of being with this person and see her as an ordinary person and not a potential mate/dream, because as you said, it is hurting you and suddenly falls on you from nowhere

>>18093276

continue >>

I know those feels dude, love can come from nowhere (or should I say, infatuation), and it can stick and it can be one of the most powerful emotions if not reciprocated, it is most likely that you haven't had a girl interested in you like this in a long time (or forever really), fear not dude, there's many girls out there, but right now you need to focus on one of two things:

1. You control your own actions and thoughts - and decide that you're not pursuing this girl anymore, cutting off all contact with her and distancing yourself completely, first don't talk to her, then don't look at her, and then don't check up on her social media, texts, facebook, steer clear from her but don't let her stop you from going to social events - do this, and you'll drop the feels for her and realize she's just a girl out of many girls that chose to have interaction with you which you interpreted one way or the other and you may or may not have had a chance with her and even if you did and you missed it - THAT'S OKAY, there's plenty of other women, repeat that mantra in your head.

2. You realize that people cannot intimidate you, even if you embarrass yourself, they can only use that against you as far as you let them - meaning, people can talk shit all they'd like, but you do what's right for you and you won't let it bother you even if someone comes to your face and tells you how pathetic you are for asking her out (which wouldn't happen anyway dude)

>>18093294

>> continue

And after you realize this - you go and ask her to hang out together one on one, you don't beat around the bush, you come in with the mindset of "I like you! and I want to hang out with you more", if she ever asks, this is your general mindset and you're gucchi, and if it doesn't work out and she refuses in any way your mindset is - "Oh alright! no harm done :)" literally, fool-proof, and it won't be ask awkward as you think. If you choose this option.

Anyway I don't think any of this will actually help you because you seem really scared, but good luck!

>>18093297
>>18093294
>>18093276
I can't reply to all this, but it helped. Thanks.

>>18092453
If you see her and want to talk, just say hey and if she returns the greeting perhaps ask about how the midterm went or something. If she seems cool and seems to think you're cool, ask if she wants to hang out. Maybe mention you don't know too many people on campus so she knows it's not necessarily asking her out, just trying to make a friend