So I may have made my life long friends go into some depressive spiral and I in general feel like a fucking massive emotional weight on her, I tried apologizing, but I feel it's no use. What do I do? Should I give her more space/leave her alone? I don't want to lose the friendship we had. And I'm really panicking right now.
That might be best, to leave her alone for a little while. However, I don't know the situation so, it's a little bit hard to make a judgment based on what you posted. If you don't mind, maybe a short explanation/summary of what occurred might be helpful?
>>18091702
It's kinda hard to explain, and will probably sound kinda silly when explained this way.
We all pretty much talk in the same chat together, and we have a few other mutual friends. A bit ago, her (we'll call her Ava because I don't want to give out any names) and one of my other very good friends (calling her Olivia) got in some fight or whatever, and they've not been on the best of terms since. And Olivia made another room, which is one more active and has all the same people in it as in the other one, minus Ava. Ava found out this was happening, and asked me about it. She was super worried that people were bitching about her and shit. I went over and searched the group and it showed that there were absolutely zero messages even mentioning her name (taking a screencap of the nil results) to show that there were clearly nothing about that in the chat. I had completely forgotten, however, she has had massive ass problems with abandonment in the past (like she goes to therapy for the shit), and I guess she drew the conclusion that we don't even think of her anymore, and we forgot about her existence.
I understand, this is a really difficult thing to deal with, especially our friend group that probably has quite a few people I understand, this is a really difficult thing to deal with, especially our friend group that probably has quite a few people. A similar thing happened to me when I was a little bit younger except it was with a group IM. The best thing to do is to not give her distance in less you want to be distance from the group. It might be good if you personally reach out to her and talk to her, but don't try and get her involved with things of the whole group. She most likely feels a little bit betrayed that her friends would go off and willingly allow a group to be made with everyone besides her, so she may want some time to yourself, and it's important for you as her friend respect that. Don't cut her off entirely, because if she wants to chat with you, or she wants to hang out occasionally, that could actually be really helpful for her, because it's letting her know that she still has friends in the group.
Dude what the fuck. Are you me? I mean, it's not exactly the same situation but I got into some shit this evening for removing someone from the group chat because of bad blood between this girl and another friend of mine. It was awful, people started taking sides, another group has been created and things turned into this huge argument. I'm still not sure about how things will turn out but I can already learn that my biggest mistake was not letting the girl being cut out know... big dick move and I also feel terrible about it. Since you apologized there's not much else to do but wait for a while. She has the right to be upset. Start conversations with her every now and then with her and check for her reactions.
>>18091696
seems like *making* other people notice her is an option to choose. There are thousands of possibilities. surprise parties spring to mind