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So lately I've been dreaming of my stresses. My plan is

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So lately I've been dreaming of my stresses. My plan is to buy a gun and kmsl when I turn 21, but last night I dreamed I had a shotgun. I picked up the gun and pointed it at my head and was suddenly hesitant. I knew one finger flick would open a world of the unknown. Then I woke up IRL. I don't understand this. A part of me is suspicious that I don't want to commit suicide, but my life is really hell. I really hate this world and I really do see my life going downhill. I have been miserable every single day for my whole twenty years of youth. Past the point of redemption for reasons I really can't control. Suicide is the best option; I just feel selfish for wanting to fight so much. I feel stupid. My fear angers me.
>>
Are you religious of any sort because i was the same way 5 years ago I am 30 at the age of 26 I accepted Christ and now everyday is amazing and is fruitful
Hope you come to the same decision anon
>>
Wanna email me your number? I just turned 21 and I can call you.

[email protected]

If you do wanna talk reply ITT i dont check rhat email often
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