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femanon here >went on first date >went well, no flirting

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femanon here
>went on first date
>went well, no flirting or anything but fluid convo/laughter etc.
>two hours long, i ended it because i had a headache (didn't say this though, just asked if he wanted to get going but it seemed like he wanted to stay prior)
>said "i had a great time," hugged goodbye (felt like more than a polite hug but idk)
>he said we should get together again, i said "text me" and he said he would
>no text 24 hours later

now i know guys are different, he could be busy, he could be not into me or he could think i'm not into him. i'm wondering if i should continue waiting to hear from him or just text him tomorrow saying "hey, sorry i cut the date short blah blah i had a great time"

also he's kind of a shit texter/messenger, like i didn't hear from him at all between setting up the date and the day of so that's a factor

thoughts? i know i'm being neurotic but y'know. dating
>>
>>18088446
He had his doubts about you before the first date.
> date
> ends in a hug
> no pussy
> "Haha, text me later anon!"
He doesn't care anymore desu. The ship has sailed.

t. greentext psychoanalysis
>>
For goodness sakes girl, if you want to talk to him, even if it's to arrange another date, YOU text HIM. He probably thinks you aren't interested because you cut the date short when you were both having a good time, it's up to you to show him that you like him. No one's going to think you're a shameful hussy for showing some damn interest
>>
You've REALLY fucked it up and disrespected him. If you don't offer him sex soon he will lose interest.
>>
>>18088462
b-but he said we would text me
>>
>>18088472
So?
>>
Can't tell based on the information Femanon. I can tell you that I've at times went on a date, did the whole thing, and then never hit them up again. Either I realzied I actually didn't find them as cute as I thought they were when I first got their number, or they're annoying and when I try to get them back to my place or theirs they have an excuse and I see no reason to do this whole charade again.

However, I don't know what your guy's deal is. Maybe he's seeing other women, one of whom he's really invested in, and didn't want to cancel on you. Maybe he didn't like you. Maybe he's a betafag.

If you really care, do as >>18088462 says. Text him. If he ghosts you, you know whats up. If he answers but it goes nowhere, you know what'[s up. If you two see each other again, he's just a betafag.

Which is worse though?
>>
>>18088474
shit u rite

i just have past experience of thinking dates went well, sending a followup text and not hearing back or getting rejected. but this isn't always the case

>>18088476
no i'm just being a pussy because i'm afraid of rejection

but at the same time i feel like the ball's in his court. like i put it there firmly
>>
>>18088481
>i just have past experience of thinking dates went well, sending a followup text and not hearing back or getting rejected. but this isn't always the case
What's your point? Shit happens, move on if he ignores or rejects you.
>>
>>18088481
Send a text my man. It's better to be completely sure the ball is in his court rather than sitting there wondering and potentially screwing up your chance with him
>>
Something could have come up such as work/school/family. Personally, ai text a little after the date, and I know most guys do within 24 hours, so unless he never plans to see you again, the above is a likely explanation. You brought up an interesting point that I want to ask about. Do girls not like when the guy sets up a date and doesn't message between then and the date? I usually never text in between the fist couple of dates so I'm just wondering what a woman's opinion is on that.
>>
Never text or call a guy first. Or very much at all. They lose interest FAST when you do. Get busy & dont think about him. IF he's interested he will call or text.
>>
>>18088446
As a guy who has gone on a LOT of first dates, from my perspective you would have sent two huge signals when you cut the date short:

1. You didn't want to keep spending time with him.

2. By acting like it was HIS decision to end things ("asked if HE wanted to get going") you let him know that he cannot expect you to be honest about what you say. (And unless you are Asian and this is the usual indirect listener-onus style of communication, that you shifted the responsibility for YOUR decision to him in that way is seriously dishonest bullshit.)

Even if he missed or doesn't really understand the level of bullshit of the second signal, the message he probably received is: "I don't want to spend more time with you, and anything I say contrary to that is a pretense to avoid having to tell you that I am rejecting you."

I would assume that if this guy has much experience with dating, he's going to conclude that you didn't mean what you said and that that it's pointless to contact you: texting you is only going to embarrass both you and him.

But hey, it's only been 24 hours. He may be clueless and think the "three day rule" is legit and you'll hear from him later.

Otherwise, after giving him such major "not interested" signals, if you actually want to see him again, you should probably let him know that.
>>
>>18088597
When a girl says "shouldn't we get going," I would assume she wanted to fuck and try to take her home. If then she declines I would agree with you that I'd assume I was low-key rejected and move on even with the "plz text me" plead.

She should text him.
>>
>>18088446
call him or text him. hes either been curved by too many flaky girls and is trying to get you to chase him, or he genuinely sucks at using his phone which is a possibility. fuck phones.
>>
3 day rule
hes afraid youll think its clingy

you could have kissed him though, that helps with confidence
>>
>>18088612
I assume she did this in the context of "date's over", and that leaving by herself made that abundantly clear.
>>
He's probably 3 day ruling it, if you call him then he wont be sitting on his hands staring at the phone wanting to call you.
Thread posts: 18
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