Smashed the shit out of my thumb half an hour ago while hammering,

>>18087606
masturbate

Ice

Also, if it's too swollen, you can drill a small whole on your nail to drain the blood out (seriously)

Cold and compression.

>you can drill a small whole on your nail to drain the blood out (seriously)
This might be necessary to avoid the nail popping off your thumb if it swells too much.

>>18087606
600 mg ibuprofen, give it eh about 20 mins. don't cut it, let it grow out and only cut the top part of your nail or else it will never grow back. give it 8 months for the whole nail to grow back.

Scotch

>>18087619
Or simply burn a hole, the pain goes away immediately. Procedure itself is painless. I've had this done once. The blood under your nail will come out in high pressure.
http://www.webmd.com/first-aid/how-to-drain-blood-from-under-a-nail

happened to me a couple years ago, smashed my finger in a door when the window was open. i was in pretty bad pain for a while but managed. it still throbbed and was in constant pain for about a week before i gave up and went to the ER. Basically they used a needle to drain the fluid. my nail came off like 3 weeks later. it's a shitty process and i hope you dont have to do it but i don't know if i would go drilling any holes in it myself.. my nail was completely purple for a few weeks before eventually (and slowly) coming off. since it's probably your non-dom thumb then maybe go to the doctor's tomorrow or ER today if you don't mind the wait or the bill.

>>18087619
My grandma told me once that my grandpa had to do this with a hammer and nail one time.

Good luck op