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She didn't mean to be abusive.

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She didn't know better, she was young, she didn't know what she was getting into..

She lied, and projected.. But, she was raised in a broken family, it's what she learned and picked up on.

Should I excuse her behavior and take her back now that she's learned her lesson.. Or, let her go?
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>>18086431
You touched the stove and got burned. Now you want to touch it again, thinking it might not be as hot this time around.
>>
>>18086444
It was an accident.. She didn't realize what she was doing.

She'd take it back if she could..
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>>18086431
haha no. abuse her or get abused your choice
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>>18086448
She cheated on you, didn't she?
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did she hit you, after lying to you? drop her.
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OP, people NEVER change. Dont go back to them
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>>18086601
via the internet.

she thought she could harmlessly get away with it. she never physically touched another man that I was ever aware of.
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>>18086431
"I come from a broken home, I just wasn't taught better, it's not my fault" is not remorse for treating someone poorly, it's a bullshit excuse to try to evade responsibility for one's behavior.

You know the only time this would fly? Is if she actually looked at you in confusion and says "uh, you mean this isn't ok? I didn't realize that."

>>18086772
If this is OP, if she was hiding what she was doing, she knew it was wrong. Only way I would consider forgiving this sort of behavior is if she she stopped it herself and came to you to tell you. If you had to find out on your own and be the one to demand it stop, it's likely that she's not someone you can trust or rely on to be serious about you and your relationship.
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>>18086448
>It was an accident.. She didn't realize what she was doing.
>She'd take it back if she could..
>>18086772
>she thought she could harmlessly get away with it.

Yeah no, that's her covering up for herself because she got caught out. Get rid, OP
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>>18086431
fart into her pussy then never speak to her again
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>>18086810
>>18086816
why'd she do it though? like, we were happy, we had good sex, and we'd been together for over two fucking years?
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>>18086431
>>18086772

>she never actually cheated
That's what you think but I've got news for you my friend. I discovered the same thing with my ex and at first was willing to forgive bc I figured its just harmless shit from strangers who live far away. That is until I did some real extensive detective work and discovered she was meeting up with dudes locally who she met online as well as letting dudes come fuck her at the hotel she works at.

Hate to break it to you, but if you discover that she has whorish tendencies the likelihood that its as bad as you can imagine are probably true. You might not ever find the evidence that she did it, but if you have enough to know she had intentions then she probably did. You might not ever find out the truth though so best to let her go with what information you did discover.
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i'm gonna say it now. i'm a woman and i'm from a really shitty, abusive background. do you think it would be ok if it was the other way around?

don't let it slide just because she seems idk fragile or hurt otherwise. i get it and i've been there and i've felt unlovable and fucked and unable to deal with some of my anger but it is never, ever ok to treat someone you love like shit and that isn't just limited to physical abuse. ultimately it's up to you what you do but men can get just as trapped in an abusive relationship as women can. people who have been abused are capable of becoming abusers themselves or continuing the cycle by getting with shitheads who keep abusing them.

you're kind enough to have the patience, but if you're going to stick around you need to lay down some serious rules and if there's anger issues? flat-out say you'll leave unless she sees a therapist and takes steps towards fixing herself otherwise i really hope you'll take care of yourself first. you don't deserve to be in a situation where it's just "i didn't mean to" like that. i've been there too many times and it never ends well for me, but you might end up in a place where you can't escape. it might hurt and you might feel broken, but there's always someone out there who will do you one better and care for you like they can't. i promise.
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>>18086975
She was already in therapy. She had a bad history with sexual abuse growing up, and drugs. She was adopted into the family that abused her, which I think made it even worse.

When we got together, it was casual at first.. And, when we got serious.. She just never stopped any of her casual behavior.. I caught her, and told her it needed to stop.. But, it never stopped.. And then by the time she was out of that phase.. I didn't love her anymore.
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>>18087079
I don't know if she ever talked about our issues like that to him, though.. She asked me to start going with her there at the end, but I just hated being around her so much, I couldn't stomach the idea of doing even more with her at the time.

I don't know if it would've helped, I feel like I would've just went off and berated her infront of him, and left even more angry.

They always gave her drugs.. And, when she stopped taking them, she started to see a lot more clear, and realized the actions she had taken really hurt me.

But, she was so emotionally unstable without her meds, she started taking them again before I broke up with her.

She was borderline suicidal about me leaving, it was implied she would, but she never said it.. I made sure before I left that she was well taken care of, from her job, to her living situation, to her car.. I wanted to make sure she'd be fine, despite everything.

I left the door open for her to collect her things, and I went out shopping, and she was still there hours later.. When she eventually left, she sent me one final text to tell me that she forgot to lock the door on her way out. I never responded..
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>>18086908
Why ask me? Common reasons are things like "got bored" or "it was exciting having someone new interested in me" or shit like that.

Whatever the reason, doing it was more important to her than caring about how it would make you feel or how it would affect the relationship.
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>>18087280
I just wish it didn't happen.
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>>18087385
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XtUw5gVc3DU
Thread posts: 19
Thread images: 1


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