So I met this girl late January and we started dating since and

TL;DR: how to ask possibly uninterested girl about weekend plans without coming across and pathetic or needy

>>18082201
>Maybe she met someone new

You definitely need to calm down. You're already too attached to this person you barely know and if you do get into a relationship you'll be a worried mess over nothing.

If they tell you they're busy then they're busy. When I'm busy, and I tell people I'm busy (I'm a guy), then said people still text me I tend to not respond most of the time, the best thing you can do for yourself is to not be so needy.

Actually wait to see if she wants to go to the concert instead of overreacting to perceived """problems""""

>>18082402
> You're already too attached to this person you barely know and if you do get into a relationship you'll be a worried mess over nothing.

Yes to the first. Strong no to the second. If I'm in a relationship with someone I chill the fuck out. As a matter of fact, my most recent ex had an issue with this because she was controlling and it made her feel like I didn't give a shit about her because her logic was that her controlling behavior = her caring.

> If they tell you they're busy then they're busy.

That's not what is going on though and perhaps I did a shit-poor job of explaining what happened because even I admit it may be nothing. But this along with her updating her Tinder makes me more willing to accept what probably has happened and move on.

The last text conversation after she said actually she worked on Friday, I told her I was busy too so its fine. This was the last text conversation so I haven't actually *done* anything.

> Actually wait to see if she wants to go to the concert instead of overreacting to perceived """problems""""

You're saying assume the best and that if she flakes last minute then, uh, lol?

I got better advice from the douchebag bro at my work who said to just start seeing other women. Which I am, though not in the way he suggested me to (pump and dump).

What I'm asking is how to ask her. I'm thinking in a few days. Not sure how to phrase it though.

>>18082419
>>18082402

Also need to add about the Tinder thing: we met off of it but we matched the night we met and it became an inside joke.

Yesterday I got a "You have a new match!" notification and when I checked it I noticed her pic is different and even her bio is different, though still clearly looking for more than friends.

Also don't want to sound like I'm mad at you or anything. I'm exhausted myself from work and social shit so I probably sound like a mad man lol

>>18082419

What I said still applies. You barely know this person. One month is nothing.

>how to ask her

Like you would. If you're so worried about her flaking last minute literally just call and ask. Don't text. Call and ask, "We still going to the concert Saturday" That's it. I trust you're past that age where mind games and playing footsies is no longer an issue.

>Tinder

Ah yes, since you're not exclusive you just know she's still getting hourly matches on this stupid app so if that's what you're concerned about then realize that maybe she isn't relationship material, and stick to just being friends or cut off all contact, I don't know upto you.

Bottom line: Stop overthinking interactions with people you barely know. In fact moving forward never overthink any interaction ever cause when you do that's when it becomes plastic and fake.

>>18082428
> What I said still applies. You barely know this person. One month is nothing.

I... know?

> Like you would. If you're so worried about her flaking last minute literally just call and ask. Don't text. Call and ask, "We still going to the concert Saturday" That's it. I trust you're past that age where mind games and playing footsies is no longer an issue.

You're telling me to stop being needy but then tell me to call her up (which I've never done outside of "hey im in front of your door") and ask her "we still on for this concert you said you were going to"?

The rest of your post is just what I already know. As for overthinking that's what I do. Helps with work and even with people sometimes because it prepares me for the worst, but yeah there are downsides such as, well, this lol.

>>18082437

Calling someone and asking them if your plans are still set isn't being needy. Overthinking how to send the perfect text that shows how not needy you are while you are actually being needy is. Plus they can always ignore your text. With a call you're being bold and straight to the point, plus you can tell if they're lying, like what's the big deal anyway?

Lots of people in this generation get social anxiety when they get told to use the primary function of their phones. Don't worry it's not just you.

>c-can't I just snapchat them

>>18082442
It wouldn't be the "perfect text" or whatever. It would probably just be a phrasing. Hell I may just send what you told me to say on the phone.

> Plus they can always ignore your text. With a call you're being bold and straight to the point, plus you can tell if they're lying, like what's the big deal anyway?

Most importantly because it's bizarre behavior for me. How do you not see why this would actually come off as needy? Your reasons behind why this is a good idea are reasons why it's desperate. I will be way too obvious.

If she ignores my text, good, I got my answer. If she lies, she'll probably use the same excuse as always. Life goes on.

> Lots of people in this generation get social anxiety when they get told to use the primary function of their phones. Don't worry it's not just you.

Word of advice, especially if you're still dating, younger women (like below 30) hate it when guys call to ask them something. That social anxiety you're talking about? They immediately get it too. And their response to calling them up for something that's not immediate is "why didn't you just text me?"

I used to always make the call especially when it came to setting up dates but I've learned that it's way too aggressive for most millennial women. Calls are best left for urgent matters or if you want to have a conversation about how her day is going (which I never want to do lol). Times have changed.

>>18082457
>Times have changed.

I'm 24 and I know this. This is something I've recently been experimenting with, calling is much easier and from what I've learned more straightforward than hours of texting.

I could be projecting my own experiences to you cause I was in a couple of long distance relationships where I'd text the women all day for particularly no reason, but right now, honestly after being such an avid texter for like my entire teenage hood and early 20's I can say that the idea of overthinking texts is dumb, saying what you want to say with your voice is much better.

The amount of effort and text you put into making this thread is way more than you would have calling at a reasonable hour to confirm a meeting that you clearly see as a big deal. Concert tickets are expensive and you want her to know it's a big deal, so call, don't text. If a woman thinks calls are aggressive then that's her problem, that's what phones were invented for. Quit overthinking this and just do it. You're scared of ruining something you most likely played no part in.

Anyway that's my advice, you can take it or leave it.

>>18082467

I should also add that I did recently meet a girl at some get together talent show. Went out to a comedy club later, there was some other guy there third wheeling ruining the vibe for us, but he eventually left, we had fun cracked jokes, she told me some really personal stuff, I told her my own personal stuff, like I knew this girl for 3 hours and we'd shared info that I'd not shared with any of my exes in 2 years of dating. So anyway, it's time to go home, and she has work the next day, my phone is dead at this time, I'm a little buzzed, so I write my phone number on a receipt for her and tell her to text me. I'm pretty sure she told me her number as well but I completely forgot it and didn't think to write it down but I did give her my number and we agreed to meet up later and go around the city.

Never heard from her again. A number of things could've happened. She could have gotten home and decided I was bad news, thrown away the number the moment I left, lost the receipt, lost the number, thought I'd text her first though I couldn't, or any other combination of possibilities, who knows, point is overthinking stuff never helps. If someone doesn't want to be in contact with you then they have their reasons for it, even when you think you have the best chemistry in the world, especially if they're women and I'm not saying this to be an /r9k/ beta, but with women you just never know, biologically they're more creatures of emotion than we men are, so if she went on a tinder date with someone else who cares dude. Just don't let it eat you up inside, not just for this occasion but for future ones, don't overextend too much into someone else more than they are into you, the only person who knows if they're being needy is you, so just do it and ask and be through with it.

/Essay

Going to bed.

>>18082467
I figured that we might have different circumstances to the calling thing. Like I've always lived in major urban areas so maybe calling is seen more aggro here and maybe you live in suburb or rural areas where it's fine. Who knows. The LTR thing is obviously different and I get that.

I will say though texting is MUCH easier for a guy. Lots of time to think about shit, not over react, etc. You probably got burnt out but the thing is to simply not text that often. Obviously for LTR this is a no-go but if you and the woman live close enough, I prefer to call for emergencies/urgent matters and text quick things either small funny things or plan our future nights. That's it. I prefer being with someone in person even if its to catch up. If they want to vent about their shit day I let them over the phone or Skype but i try to cut it short.

Side note, I once fucked up a REALLLY good bootycall deal. She would hit me up with texts all the time and I'd reply and she'd come over. One night I hit her up and this was back when I always called so I called her. Bad idea. She sounded like she was out somewhere and she was very annoyed and quickly said "no" and hung up. She was hot as fuck too. Oh well. I've learn to just sent "you up?" texts since then.

> The amount of effort and text you put into making this thread is way more than you would have calling at a reasonable hour to confirm a meeting that you clearly see as a big deal

Nah I'm just venting. Going on /adv/ and just spilling my shit out helps even if I don't get much advice and sometimes I even learn some cool shit. Same with providing advice to others as well. I'm going to text her in a few days. Cringe if you want but I feel like it's the right move.

>>18082491
I think you're misunderstanding. I AM overthinking, but my conclusion is to basically move on and even expect the possibility that I'm going to that concert with someone else.

Like I gave the example of her finding some other guy. Who knows what it is. Maybe she's worried I'm a player and is distancing herself. Who knows and who cares. I merely brought it up to 1) vent and 2) provide some context to the overall question I asked.