>dated girl for a few weeks >wants to be friends >still

>>18080953

the problem here is you assume that women are being objective. they arent. and thats a good thing.

women don't go on a date and then write down ratings for each act you do and then reward you if you get enough points. thats nonsense.

you go on a date, they get to know you and if there is those 'sparks' those good feelings, then you're in. good feelings can happen regardless of what people say or do, its why 'tsundere' is such a big thing in japan and 'love at first sight' is a big thing in fairy tales. its literally just how someone makes you feel, often starting with attraciton than working its way down.

dating isn't some game where you press the right buttons and you win.

>>18080981
I know that but we did the deed every time we were together so it's not like there was no connection.

It kinda came out of the blue for me really, as I kinda felt we had something more substantial going.

>>18080994

unfortunately she just wasnt that into you. sometimes a woman keeps trying cuz you're seemingly nice but just not the right fit. sometimes they just want sex and something simple. its hard to say.

you can ask her but she likely wont give you an honest answer, not becuase she wants to purposely lie but because its hard for most people to rationalize and verbalize why they dont like you. like i said in my initial post it really boils down to an intrinsic sense of chemistry, the way someone just makes you feel.

she may say 'well you talk too much' but if she had that chemistry, you talking to omuch wouldnt matter, shed find that endearing.

also women are not homogenous so even if she pinpointed some issue its not like every girl feel sthat way about it. some girls hate guys who make jokes, others like jokes.

and the final point i want to make is that it might not be something you can even change or control.

>>18081019
I guess part of the reason is that I want closure, since right now it's kinda eating at me.

Would it be too awkward to ask her? Could it potentially ruin our friendship?

>>18081027

>would it be too awkward

what is 'too awkward'?

>could it potentially ruin our friendsip

yes, but thats not gonna be a real thing anyways

>>18081041
>what is 'too awkward'?

Not being able to look at each other after or something. There's this catch where we both attend the same social running club.

>yes, but thats not gonna be a real thing anyways

Well that's not necessarily true as I'm actually going on a hiking trip with her and another friend sometime in August.

But in the long run you're probably right.

>>18081050

>its only february

>IM GOING ON A HIKING TRIP WITH HER IN AUGUST AND THE FACT THAT WE BROKE UP RECENTLY DEFINITELY WONT CHANGE ANYTHING OVER THE COURSE OF SIX MONTHS

>>18081064
I'm not sure what you're implying? The trip isn't only her, me and the friend, it's with at least 7 other random people.

Also, we never really "broke up" as we were barely an item to begin with, being that it was just a few weeks.

We have pretty much the exact same interests etc., so I could really be interested in keeping her as a friend, and since we're both adults (I'm 28 and she's 30 something), we should be able to handle that.

>>18081074

good luck then

File: GmlvwmI.jpg (89KB, 784x708px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 784x708px

>>18081076
Wait man, I still don't know if I should ask her.

>>18080953
>Should I ask her what her reasoning is? I mean I kinda want to know if there's anything I can improve or do differently.

Other anon has it right. Liking someone or not liking someone isn't a quantifiable thing.

There are no lists, there are no bullet points, there are no concrete words, just instinct and emotions.

Fuck dude, humans have been trying to articulate this feeling for pretty much as long as we've had the ability to communicate.

Literally millions, probably billions of authors, poets, writers, singers, artists, sculptors, actors, scientists, researchers, psychologists and so on have tried to find ways to quantify and exactly articulate what exactly makes attraction and how you can express it, but we still have countless more still trying to do the same thing after thousands of years.

I don't know why you're expecting some random girl with only a couple decades on her to be able to peg exactly why she isn't attracted to you. There are probably reasons, and she can probably name a few surface ones, but ultimately the core ones are ones that she only understands through feelings, and those feelings are impossible for her to translate.

>>18081027
>I guess part of the reason is that I want closure, since right now it's kinda eating at me.

Closure is a myth. You're not looking for closure. You're looking for a way back in.

That's what pretty much everyone who wants "closure" really means.

Move on. Live your life. Grow.

Like I said in another thread >>18080588
You don't need other people to tell you what's wrong with you. Even if they do, you won't really be able to make use of it to do anything substantial.

You need to grasp it for yourself, through your own struggles, so it becomes something you truly understand and know not just with your mind, but with your body and intuition, and only then will you be able to use that as a basis for real change and improvement.

>>18081115
>You're looking for a way back in.

I guess that's not entirely inaccurate. I mean we still have long messenger conversations and talks and stuff, so I guess I am kinda hoping she'll change her mind, but the chances are probably pretty slim.

>>18081078
Not that anon but ask her, who cares. She's not going to be your "friend" anyway, so burn that bridge if you want to.

Bear in mind that
A) She more than likely doesn't have a "reason"
B) If she has a "reason" it's likely simply a subjetive opinion and in no way can this critizism help you "get better" with the next girl
C) If there's such a huge flaw in your persona that scares women off, you more than likely won't be able to solve it yourself alone.

>>18081132
I really hate this "IT IMPOSSIBLE TO BE FRIENDS WITH OPPOSITE SEX" meme.

Maybe if you are a horny 18 year old who literally only cares about his dick that is true but real people actually are able to remain friends even after breaking up with someone they dated.

>>18081193
Well I don't really take that sort of advice to heart anyway, but it just shows their maturity level really.

>>18081193
I wasn't implying they couldn't be friends because she's female. Problem is it's his ex.

Calm down m8

>>18081203
We only really dated a few weeks, and it was never really official. But I developed some feelings for her in the short time, so it wasn't completely without merit.