How do I know if there's actually something wrong with me

Do you tell them you're planning to really go out and kill someone? I don't think they'd ignore that.

>>18080803
>how do I know?
I can help with that. There's something wrong with you psychologically. I don't like the term 'wrong', but without a doubt you do not fit into the normal human pattern of thinking. There is something abnormal about your brain and the way you think.

>do I really need to kill somebody for real...
no of course not. mentioning these types of thoughts and violent ideations will almost always get you treatment, unless they have reason to think you're just making this shit up.

>>18080825
Well, that was eight years ago, and I haven't seen that woman since. I haven't planned to kill anyone since then, it's been too long since I've felt that angry.

But that's just proof they were right, is it? It was just teenage turmoil caused by hormones and everyone goes through it.

>put into a ward twice
>put on antipsychotics
I don't think they would do that if they thought you're sane...

>>18080879
They let me walk right out of the ward once I was done, and I only got the antipsychotics when I asked for antidepressants and they didn't want to give me anything that actually had any effect.

Even if I throw a fit, they'll be done with me as soon as it's over. Once I've stopped doing whatever I did in order to get proper treatment, I am deemed not to require any kind of treatment.

>>18080833
Well what are your current issues that you feel are being ignored?
What do you go in and say now?

>>18080898
That I'm not happy.

I wouldn't even know where to start.

That one time when a doctor (not psychiatric) heard that I used to let my ex get me beyond drunk in order to endure being fucked, she called it shocking and assigned me a psychiatrist.

When I tried to tell the psychiatrist about this, he interrupted me and told me to go to a gynecologist first to make sure that my issues with sex aren't physical.

>>18080887
Why do you need attention so badly, Ms. Collins?

>>18080947
I'm quite honestly certain it's not normal to feel like this.

>>18080915
Do you actually think about harming other people then?

"I'm not happy/I need alcohol to have sex" sounds very different than "I plan to kill someone."

You might need to look for a better therapist. If your problem is with depression, they aren't going to just be able to give you something to fix it. Even antidepressants can take a couple months to work. But you should have someone you're comfortable talking with too.

>>18080985
I will harm someone if that's what it takes to get them to make this stop.

There was a time when I considered having children just to make my mental state a hostage situation. It might be that nobody cares about my well-being, but they might care for that of my children.

>>18080997
How do you think that would "make this stop"?
What different help do you think you receive?

Is it just that you want to stay institutionalized?

>>18080997
>get them to make this stop
You have to make it stop, it's not anyone else's job, it's your life.
Seems like they were on point with the antipsychotics.
You don't want help at all.
Also sending a tip to the FBI would be good in your case, I think you should be hospitalized until you die.

>>18081007
I literally do not know. Something. Anything.

At this point I'd be fine with being euthanised if they could do it painlessly.