Honest question here, I always see normies talking about >Having

Because having a girlfriend wont make you happy in its own right. If you're unhappy without a girlfriend, you're going to be happy with a girlfriend. Relationships are a supplement to a happy life, not a reason for ta happy life.

I think they're referring more to
>Getting a gf won't solve your problem.
Yes, being in a relationship, or even a good friendship, does bring happiness. But they don't solve all your unhappiness.
You have to be happy with yourself before others can bring you happiness.

>>18078745
I guess it is like this at least for me. When I am with her I am happy and enjoy doing whatever it is we are doing. However when she leaves I quickly revert back to being my unhappy self.

I don't know how I feel about the whole notion of "you have to be happy by yourself first."

Even when I was a little kid (like 4 or 5), I remember fantasizing about having a wife and having a family of my own. I think we all have ambitions and creative energies that define our life's purpose and are the source of our true fulfillment.

I think for myself and people like me, the thing we aspire towards and want to create is intense connections with others and certain kinds of relationships in our lives that largely preclude the possibility of being really happy on our own first.

>doing things for people makes me happy
>nobody to do things for
>not happy
>getting a girlfriend would give me someone to do things for
>this would make me happy

What they really mean is giving a half assed effort to getting a girl results in less happiness than they would want you to have, so basically they're saying stay jealous, single, and that's about all i give a fuck about your happiness

>>18078745

It means you're obsessed with an ideal and have a void that you think has an almost magic fix. It means that having a girlfriend isn't this magic pill that makes you suddenly feel fulfilled, because being in a relationship isn't like your anime. It requires work and sacrifice, and looking for *just anyone* will mean that you'll end up with someone who doesn't agree with your lifestyle.

I know it's like telling someone they don't want a Mercedes because of the cost of maintenance, but it's true.

>>18079196
But what if I'm not happy cause I realise my terrible social abilities are bringing me down, and the reason I have these issues is cause I want to be judged well by women in the off chance one likes me.
If I get a gf I'll feel less compelled to please everyone that I dont need to.

>>18079040
Do something for me anon senpai.