>have a 5 year long relationship >become engaged >she

What's so special about this woman that you can't find anyone as good as her?

>>18073734

Why the fuck did you break up?
Why did she move when your wedding was so close?

Use this as an opportunity to learn how to let go. Use this as an opportunity to get a (better) job. Use this as an opportunity to stop being a NEET.

You love her and she loves you but be real. Neither of you are getting what you want. Truth is you two weren't meant to be. Yeah talking to other women doesn't help because it's rare to find chemistry. You will, eventually.

If she messages you, BE THE MAN and tell her that this shit is not good for you or her and that while you can be friends (if you even are cool with that) it's best to keep the lovey dovey stuff out of it or even cut each other off temporarily for healing purposes. Your future self will thank you for this.

>>18073739
I don't know. It's kind of a love/hate relationship that's very intense. Even when we were together we'd fight often at times, make up and be all super happy again. Even if we didn't make up by solving the problem we'd have amazing hateful sex to fix everything. She's not very stable, though currently on strong meds and seeing a psychiatrist. I'm not all there either, I have crippling anxiety and have had severe depression before and bipolar issues. She's more or less a NEET at the moment too. I see her many flaws and I'm talking to hotter women but I have a deep physical attraction to her. We always had a very honest relationship as well and idk we know each other more than anyone.

>>18073762
We'd been unstable for a while. We broke up over her telling me she hates being around me and wouldn't want to go on a trip to see each other even if she could. I didn't respond back for 3 days(she'd stopped talking to me for longer than that over petty shit) and then she blocked me on everything, when I tried talking to her via text she sent me tons of insults and broke of for good.

I did the no contact thing for a while, slept around a bit but eventually we couldn't stay away. We'd angrily talk as "friends" but it never stays like that for long. Eventually the anger died out and we got to where I am now. In love but too cautious to get into a relationship because we know what we're like + distance.

She moved away because she graduated and had to move back to work in her country, plan was to have a small wedding when i moved with her, we'd gotten a pet dog a couple months earlier and I stayed back to get him his shots when he was old enough so i'd bring him over. I think the distance was just the last straw.

>>18073734
aight man look, you're stuck up in your rationalizations.... stop being a faggot, like she is right now, and at least accept one thing, you want to be together with her, all the other issues, all the other bullshit are constructs of your ego. you aren't your past, you aren't your fears, who you are is the guy that says eh I would love to be with her. you say there's great chemistry? then what the fuck is the proobleeeem stop fucking around and making up shit for no reason, and tell her to do the same. go to her country, let her fucking pay for your bills till you find a job, and then share it together.

OR, idfk? listen to your ego? to your pride? to the thing that causes you more problems than solutions? listen to the shit that says she chose work over you? she left you? listen to the hurt baby inside of you, instead of the mature man. I don't know how else to help you, but there's your options, CHOOSE WISELY, WHO KNOWS WHAT THE BEST ONE IS!!!

>>18073766
I've tried the entire year...IDK if it's this or other issues but my anxiety has gotten progressively worse this year. It's real bad now. I have some health issues as well I'm trying to get diagnosed(neurological problem). I just can't think of not having her around, but we tried the friend thing multiple times before and it always ends up with nudes and love messages. The longest I went without talking to her in a sexual manner was 3 months? During that time I got myself together and started making bank trading stocks/got laid and stuff but my anxiety started then and I fell apart. I had to quit after losses, and found that I couldn't even function sexually correctly with other women. I'd always prided myself in my abilities and I was pretty mediocre with 2 smoking hot women. One was a beautiful model. But really I just want her, I find it hard to care about anything else.

>>18073802
Yeah so cut it off with her. Ya gotta heal, man.

>>18073814
bro you don't even know what you're talking about. he doesn't have to do it this way, there's actually a way that's way better in personal growth
>>18073799
dubs don't lie.

>>18073814
I'm trying to cut her off. It's been 9 days, but I'm struggling.

>>18073799
Yeah I know I think about this constantly. We've both hurt each other so much though. I don't want to move there and later just get divorced. If I see her in person this will be much harder to do. We're bad for each other and that's what I'm trying to act on right now. It's just hard.

>>18073840
> I'm trying to cut her off. It's been 9 days, but I'm struggling.

That's good. You know what to do. Don't listen to >>18073799 or samefag >>18073828 who thinks "personal growth" means subjecting yourself to the same on-and-off toxic relationship for years. Do what you're doing right now. It is difficult. I know because I went through something similar last year.

Guess what? She came back and I even fucked her when she came to visit. Then the same bullshit that haunted out relationship came back. This time though, it was Much easier to cut things off for good.

Just keep on doing it man. Do not give in!

>>18073861
bro again no disrespect but you have no idea what you're talking about. the relationship, like most relationships are dysfunctional because of personal constructs, I know it sounds pretencious but dropping your own ego solves 100% of the problems every time.... what you are advising him to do is moving on, which you did, which simply means creating new neural connections that give you the substances you need, basically you're telling him to be a monkey that presses a button to get sugar, just because you are a monkey who presses a button to get sugar, and you think that's the only way to get sugar, don't take this the wrong way, I'm just trying to help here, and I seriously think that your way, even though it works, isn't really the best way. the only reason why you feel better is because you rewired your brain functions, it's simple chemistry, you hacked life, finding a shortcut that doesn't imply you grow up, enough to be fine with the people around you, rather than keep arguing.

who has ears to listen, will hear me.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU TOO, ADVISOR!

>>18073734
This the worst. The only way you're going to make this situation better is if you cut out of your life and keep it that way for a couple years. I remember feeling that way after a measily year and a half relationship. A year and a half after that I had finally switched myself to realize she was just another girl. Literally only time will fix this.

>>18073734
Off topic, but holy shit, I didn't expect someone to use my upset skelly from Facebook to here.

Makes me happy tbqh.

>>18074184
*from here to facebook to here again
Sorry about the mixup, but I'm still happy.

>>18074183
>18074183
Thanks. I guess I'll find out if i have the fortitude necessary soon.

>>18074184
I obsessively save nearly every image i come across on the internet. I'm not even sure where I got it from, and I picked it at random here. But looking it at more now it's pretty amazing. You painted it? C-Can I have your autograph anon?