Can we talk about suicide? I've read around online and all

Suicide methods:
Drink in a pool
Drug overdose
Both painless and easy?

>>18070390
I didn't mean like ways to off yourself I meant like if maybe I could shake the feeling of being all alone, I found solace in the anonymity I think and just wanted to address it kind of. Wasn't sure where else to go

It's tough man. I stopped thinking so much about it and not sure if I just plain and simply outgrew it or if it was meeting my wife. Or maybe even the ARMY experience that did it. Those were the biggest three life changing experiences that may have lead to me stopping being so suicidal.

even nowadays I fantasize about offing myself after I take out some sorry piece of shit but I don't really want to do it.

I used to consider suicide a lot when I used to cut myself. Relationships fucked me up and lead me to have almost panic attacks and feelings of pure hopelessness. I didn't know how to handle someone breaking up with me. I saw it like the end of my life like I didn't know how or if I could go on and I needed to end it before I experienced what would happen.

File: hollaback.jpg (31KB, 564x423px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 564x423px

>>18070398
>Like literature, music can overwhelm you with sudden emotion, can move you to absolute sorrow or ecstasy; like literature, painting has the power to astonish, and to make you see the world through fresh eyes. But only literature can put you in touch with another human spirit, as a whole, with all its weaknesses and grandeurs, its limitations, its pettinesses, its obsessions, its beliefs; with whatever it finds moving, interesting, exciting or repugnant. Only literature can give you access to a spirit from beyond the grave – a more direct, more complete, deeper access than you’d have in conversation with a friend. Even in our deepest, most lasting friendships, we never speak as openly as when we face a blank page and address a reader we do not know. The beauty of an author’s style, the music of his sentences have their importance in literature, of course; the depth of an author’s reflections, the originality of his thought certainly can’t be overlooked; but an author is above all a human being, present in his books, and whether he writes very well or very badly hardly matters – as long as he gets the books written and is, indeed, present in them. (It’s strange that something so simple, so seemingly universal, should actually be so rare, and that this rarity, so easy to observe, should receive so little attention from philosophers in any discipline: for in principle human beings possess, if not the same quality, at least the same quantity of being; in principle they are all more or less equally present; and yet this is not the impression they give, at a distance of several centuries, and all too often, as we turn pages that seem to have been dictated more by the spirit of the age than by an individual, we watch these wavering, ever more ghostly, anonymous beings dissolve before our eyes.) In the same way, to love a book is, above all, to love its author: we want to meet him again, we want to spend our days with him.

File: IMG-20161112-WA0002.jpg (28KB, 500x517px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 500x517px

I just don't know
>be me
>live in a stable, caring family in first world western nation
>be smarter than normal (at least I think)
>have a caring, qt gf
>only struggle is coming through University, you realise you somehow can't do math and everything starts to crumble

I only want to make the future safe for my gf but I slowy feel like I am human garbage and I just want it to end

The worst part about it: I know I have no reason to be depressed, I sometimes even doubt that I am but still, I somehow find a little solace in the thought to just off myself

File: pepe.jpg (34KB, 680x734px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 680x734px

>>18070390

on some level i have alot of respect for people who can go through with killing themselves. that takes a shit load of confidence and willpower

>>18070441

I think one of the reasons younger people fall into hopelessness is because they allow their view of life to collapse before their eyes.

When you're a kid you feel like.

>muh grades are low, shit my life is over
>my girl broke up with me, my life is over
>I can't make mardi gras with my friends my life is over

Shit that is trivial as fuck can seem like something of a life or death situation and it's fucked up because the entire problem lies in the person's view.

adults know that you have shitty grades, you just get a regular job like everyone else. If you don't get a vacation, oh well, fuck it. If someone leaves you, good riddens, now I can take a break before I run into the next dumb fuck I fall in love with.

>>18070446

I agree. Makes you wonder just how much stress their brain was going through to outweight the desire to live. What made them say "I might fuck up and survive with a stump for a face. fuck it, I'll take the risk".

My whole situation was I've lost so much and had to grow up at a young age with relatives dying, other close family members succumbing to drugs and even an uncle dying at 50 due to coke I just always kept it in my head. My family had a run of depression with my cousins being mentally ill depressed/ptsd and my own mother at one point being suicidal depressed. For as long as I've been here I've been the bearer of all the problems it's always taken out on me and I can't express my own because to their eyes someone else has it worse. Since a kid all
I've known really was loss and the only ones I'd feel bad for is my brother because I don't want him to turn back to hard drugs and my father who's the only other stable one I know.

>>18070458
I survived a suicide attempt at probably the most painful time of my life and the only thing I was thinking was that this is the only way to stop the pain.

>>18070469

I guess that is tough. You need to focus on other things. It's easier said than done but you need to stay occupied until finally you find something (a hobby?) that draws you to it to the point where you don't even need to tell yourself "don't think about the past". You'll spend your time doing other shit. For me I'm fine with the internet and I suppose my wife occupies all my other time when I'm not on fucking around on the internet. Between my wife, work and roaming the web I guess I don't have much time to think about the past.

>>18070480

I used to cut myself. I have a lot of cuts some very deep because (this probably sounds cliche) physical pain distracted me from the emotional pain. It works and helped me plenty of times. Luckily I stopped doing it though.

>>18070488

I used to carry a knife with me at all times and not even to stab someone else, I felt safe and at ease knowing I had my remedy right there whenever I needed it.

>>18070483
I've picked up a guitar in the past year and decided this is what I want to do, I just figure a support or people to talk to was nesecarry, as angsty as it sounds and chilish but playing grunge music really is therapeutic when feeling any emotion

>>18070494
Same. Threw mine away though cos heated arguments at home and don't wanna flip out and start swinging...

>>18070501

whatever it takes. People need to talk. Well, some people don't I guess but a lot of people NEED to communicate what they feel. It helps.

It would be nice if schizophrenics could get taken seriously before they attacked someone, of if a suicidal person got taken seriously before they blew their fucking brains out. This planet is retarded. People don't have time to help people that are trapped in their own mental asylum and that's fucked up. I guess I love to help people like that because I've been through it and know it's important.

These stupid faggot motherfuckers would rather watch new episodes of bad girls club or texting eachother non-stop about stupid bullshit. Fuck them. Their kids are going to grow up fucked up because mental health isn't taken seriously at all in this country. It's not a problem until someone gets shot or takes their own life.

>>18070515
I call it the cobain effect, everyone cares and praises after death but to be honest they really just don't care and never did to be honest. Suicide is selfish absolutely but it's because all the fucked up people like me don't know any better after being told it gets better and that it's selfish and wrong doesn't help anyone. I think if when someone would say they feel like it's time to check out instead of treating them like aliens we should get get them some help and show them what they're leaving but overall the choice is theirs. I wish the world wasn't so fake and materialistic to where a human life is as disposable as a piece of garbage.

>>18070526

>I think if when someone would say they feel like it's time to check out instead of treating them like aliens we should get get them some help and show them what they're leaving but overall the choice is theirs

I think the same thing. People are selfish and they only say "don't kill yourself" for their own good mostly. They don't want you to kill yourself because THEY would be sad, because THEY would have to cry because you're gone, because THEY would not know how to handle the stress of you being dead. Fuck how you feel, fuck what you're going through, they don't want to hear that shit, they just tell you "it's not that bad, you got a good life now shut the fuck up and just keep on living without talking so much".

>>18070540
Exactly that thank you so much. I know strong people in my life believe me strong people but when I would say or empathize with people like for example Kurt cobain (him being freshest because his birthday yesterday) all I hear is that he left those people behind and he chose but at the end of the day, it's not like he went home everyday and thought wow better kill myself, he was pushed to the extreme because of what society made him. Point being I later asked what if it was me and they only said I would be sad and that I belong in an asylum for saying that.

>>18070540
Also I feel like "what would you do if you heard the news that I was dead?" Is a loaded question because that's a reach for help and is never treated as such.

>>18070549
>>18070553

They'll tell you "suicidal people are the MOST selfish people".

I think to myself goddamn...so I'm more selfish than a murderer that doesn't want to die?. I'm more selfish than a pedophile that messes up other kids lives?, I'm more selfish than a thief that goes robbing stores?, I'm more selfish than a serial killer who keeps people as slaves in a dungeon?.

Exactly, sometimes the only option is the one right in front of you no matter the cost or opinion doesn't make it right but it makes it available

>>18070569
Anyway I wish you the best my brother, be well I needed this. Thank you

>>18070610

No problem man!

>>18070440
>long ass quote
>about authors jerking themselves off

Oh the irony.

>>18070373
If you want to be suicide/depression then deal with the underlying issues in your life. This is where most people encoubter trouble because the issues are real problems such as childhood trauma or the death of a loved on.

If you have everything going for you then you're just addicted to being sad and pitying yourself. If you can't change yourself mentally then get bloodwork done, but be prepared for the result to just be that you're stupid.

Anon, I have been there, years of bad depression, bad to the point of real suicidal thoughts, psychotic symptoms, homicidal intrusive thoughts, it all happened in my mid-late teens so I didn't even know what I am without depression (my personality, strengths, basically who was I suppose to be without depression) I had also been extremely antidepressant resistant, nothing worked and the side effects and withdrawal made me want to die more. Last attempt was Paxil, similar to Zoloft and Prozac. I was only on it for 1 week and my depression is gone. Very fucking weird and lucky, my point is, try everything medication wise, it will take months and maybe more than a year. Every antidepressant worsened my insomnia and sometimes psychotic features, I quit Paxil after 4 days of no sleep but I didn't feel depressed, zombie like though... I was pleasently surprised that I wasn't depressed after I went off, also didn't feel like a zombie either, sleep eventually normalized. Also try stimulants like Vyvanse, adderall to cope with fatigue and lack of motivation/distraction. A psychiatrist put me on Vyvanse because so many antidepressants failed me. I was still suicidal and depressed but atleast I could stay awake and have things done.

>>18070390
>Drink in a pool
>Painless

Are you kidding? Drowning is widely-reported as one of the most painful ways to die.

Give me I reason to not kill myself when even as my life objectively improves I still feel miserable, when I feel alienated from most people I have ever met, and when life feels like nothing but a long grind.

>>18070373
kys

>>18071641
yeah but if youre fucking wasted out of your skull and you happen to stumble into some water...

>>18072918
It would probably still be very painful anon

>>18070373
best way to avoid suicide is to do something fucked up...nothing to bother people though.

>>18070432
Army experience?
Im a colledge drop-out living in my dads attic with nothing going for me except a few relatives and one friend who all worry about me and contact me almost every day to check up on me while I do nothing but read, play vidya and listen to music while sitting at the same desk all day. I'd have killed myself if it wasnt for them.
I was thinking about joining the army because I just dont know what to do. How has it helped you?

>>18070469
I ageer with this Anon's comment>>18070480. I too attempted suicide a few times and each time was because I just wanted the unbearable pain to stop. >>18070569 and yeah, wtf right? Attempting suicide isn't selfish. Attempting suicide is because we believe that we're doing our friends and family a favour of getting rid of ourselves because we think we're a burden.

It's harder to not kill myself. I battle everyday to make the choice to keep going. I keep this belief firmly held in my hands that my suicidal thoughts and depression doesn't define me, that it doesn't own me.

>>18070441
>>18070451
How do you guys just do that? "Get a girlfriend", like it doesnt mean anything? Isnt a relationship the most serious commitment you can make in life? You arent committing to some arbetrary goal but too another person, share life with them in a sense that you wont with anyone else.
I dont get how normies can be so casual about this. How do you open up and share your life with someone? At what point do you think it's worth it to pursue a relationship?
I have never had a girlfriend even though I think I could have had one if I had gone for it, two girls have shown clear interst in me, but I declined both. I didnt feel like our friendship could go any deeper, I would't be comfertable sharing some of the parts of my life with them. I know I make it sound like I think a couple should do everything together, but I know you should be able to be happy with the other doing something on their own or with others. But, you can't deny that you'll have to except these other parts of your partner wheter you partake in them or not.
Sorry for the ramble but this has bugged me for a long time and i never get a clear awnser.

>>18073235

>I was thinking about joining the army because I just dont know what to do

Honestly that's what I did, but honestly at the same time it MAY be the absolute wrong thing to do.

I joined out of ignorance, I'll admit and when I entered it was almost like a jail sentence. It's a tough life (active duty, year in Korea and also a year in Iraq wasn't easy). I know the experience was good for me toughened me up, I met a lot of different people and learned a lot of shit. It's a crash course in life.

I was stupid as fuck before I got in, not sure if it was my parents not teaching me enough or if I was just plain retarded but the military in that three and a half year period pretty much caught me up with shit I had not learned in my twenty years of being alive. I am proud of my experience now that it's over obviously but when I was in I was like fuck.

If you're thinking of active duty, realize it becomes your life literally. They own you, and decide how you live.

>>18073264

>Isnt a relationship the most serious commitment you can make in life?

No. Marriage is, and even that's usually for a first marriage or people too stupid to realize that marriages are NOT forever.

I see relationships as companionship or friendships that are much closer than regular friends. That's what me and my wife have become in reality. Just really good friends that piss each other off a bit because we live together.

>>18070373


Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

>>18074064
In what role did you serve? Do you recommend the army outside of that particular field?

File: 68f967bad5c49ad4e52bf9a111c5dc03.jpg (2MB, 2815x2088px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2815x2088px

>>18070373

Not sure if you are into NIN OP, but Trent Reznor dealt with a lot of suicidal thoughts and depression, he actually gave some good advice about it. To sum it up and get to the point, he kinda said that it's okay to feel depressed, to even have suicidal thoughts, but not act on them, just use them and acknowledge they are apart of you, but not a part that needs to be drowned in, but instead known and controlled through self-enlightenment.

Okay he probably didn't word it that elegantly, but I'm saying you gotta take depression as a part of you, use it as a medium to put into another and express it in a more positive light, music, art, exercise.

>>18074568

I entered as combat arms air defense when I joined but was converted to CAV scout halfway through.

I heard from a fellow anon once that caffeine powder works good for overdose. I have since purchased and stored the powder in my closet in case of an emergency suicide.

I think I have borderline or bi-polar trades, although I'm not sure because if I get hurt badly by someone my urge to die is strong and increases by time, I had a difficult childhood but I manage to continue, yet the instability stayed.

I don't actually want to die, when I want to escape reality I don't function rationally and do harm to myself. I would drink alcohol to reduce emotional struggles, but my body can't manage it as of now.

File: wZeK2vL.jpg (211KB, 1000x1438px) Image search: [Google]

211KB, 1000x1438px

>>18070373
I'm just gonna leave this image here. it's always helped me.

I would always think about suicide as a depressed teen. I felt like maybe this was the only way to end this feeling that was crushing me and weighting me down all day. I just couldn't see myself going through life like that.

A friend dragged me to kung fu lessons when I was 18. I wanted to become better, wanted to become a cool kung fu master who can beat up people like in the movies. Kinda retarded, but for the first time in my life a felt an intense drive towards a goal. I wasn't dragging myself here and there, but my heart was burning for all the kung fu stuff. The trainers would always remind us "watch your stance, watch your breath, don't get carried away in sparring by your emotions. don't tense up that much". And always again and again "control your breath, it keeps you in the now, keeps the emotions from taking everything over".

It made me consciously feel my body and mind. We had kung fu camps, where the trainers introduced meditation to me. Zen meditation makes you focus on your breath and posture. It kinda gets you into the "now". Thinking about the past fill you with regret, thinking about the future with sorrow. One morning when we meditated I felt like I got into the "now",suddenly felt every feeling that mixed into depression fall off. It was like an immense weight just fell off my soul and mind like that hole inside my chest closed. In that state I felt pure freedom, and it was the first time in a decade that I thought like "life is good".

Now I do muay thai and lifting, got friends and goals in life. Depression still sometimes kicked in, but I never felt so helpless again like I did as a teen even after the worst heartbreak.

Tl;dr
>find something that balances your routine out and drives you on
>get good friends who have some drive and happyness inside them. It rubs off on you
>practice meditation, breathing exercises, yoga or anything that is supposed to take you back out of the depths of your mind into the presence

>>18075331
>thought there was going to be something at the end
>it's just a stick

I struggle with depression. It's not about grades or boys or anything like that.

I have a problem which has been rooted in me since childhood. I'm a terrible people pleaser, and I would walk the world and back for people even when I knew they wouldn't do the same. I always tried looking for the good in people and I got let down a lot. I got and still get used too.

Now I'm constantly paranoid over how my actions affected others, and I replay every single event in my head at the end of the day which keeps me up until 3am. It's currently 5am. The constant feeling of 'knowing' your friends secretly hate your guts, and how every small thing instantly solidifies that belief is so emotionally draining.

I often fantasise of dying. I could never end it myself, but I wish this mind fuck would just end.

>>18070373
I can recommend the book "How to manage depression with CBT for dummies" and overall CBT against depression. If you actually follow the method it works, at least to a degree. There are CBT diaries etc. as Apps out there for smartphones as well.

With suicide thoughts what helped in the past when I had them badly actually was - as stupid as it sounds - watching videos of really horrible suicides on LiveLeak and such sides, imagine myself as that person, and imagining how much of an inconvenience it would be for others to pick up the splattered pieces of me, and such things. Imagining the pain as well, to a degree.

Meditation can help as well.

If it is really bad, and you can afford it, see an actual Psychiatrist though. He probably can help you better that our self-treatment methods.

Professional psychologic help including good meds, a good congregation, and confession and absolution on a regular basis.

pray and meditate on this scripture: Psalm 51: 10-12 10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

>>18076162
>Imagining the pain as well, to a degree.
Makes me flinch every time, but at least you only have to experience it once.

You have to ask yourself why you want to die.

You won't be able to come with any reason besides simply being no longer.

So are you depressed about something in particular, or do you have everything stitched out but still feel empty?

Then I'm not saying you should but it's not my right to stop you.

Most people try blame somebody or themselves. That's not how it is.

Death isn't anything at all. Death couldn't be looked at in a positive or negative light because nothing exists within death. Resurrect yourself all you want, death is fin.