My boyfriend wants me to enjoy sex more but theres not much that

if he can't make you come with a vibrator, then you should break up with him to spare him

>>18069506
I can come its just a very small orgasm, and he wants me to come hard, but my orgasms are just naturally tiny

Try edging. Also tell him to git gud. Also relax, can't have a mind blowing orgasm if you're having them just as knee jerk reflex

>>18069525
Yeah Ive tried edging, but I can never get higher than a certain point of pleasure

I'm pretty relaxed lol, to the point of boredom sometimes

I don't think everyone is capable of a mindblowing orgasm

I just want him to stop feeling insecure

>>18069490
>I can orgasm but its not a big orgasm its a pretty tiny underwhelming feeling, like a sneeze, and I dont make noises
>like a sneeze
Hard to judge for me (as a guy) as to what qualifies as a "good" female orgasm, but maybe you just have the wrong expectations?
Or, you simply don't really orgasm (yet)?
Unlike us guys where it is normally easy to see if we really orgasmd or not, thanks to our indicator fluid, you girls are a bit harder to understand.
>and I dont make noises
Again, that could also be something about expectations. Pron and such teach us that sex has to be screaming and panting, but why?
I can stay perfectly silent while having sex, and I finally found a girl who does the same. Had a screamer before and frankly I found it quite irritating. Almost as bad as that one girl that shouted "faster, harder, deeper" at me.
Different people are different, I guess.

>I get turned on but its not bliss or anything, I basically just have sex to please him
So you DO get turned on?
"Bliss" is a hard thing to obtain. How long are you together and how much "experience" do you have?

>Is there a way to stop him feeling insecure?
Talk to him about your issues and work on that together. Maybe you find something that you both like?

>>18069490

A girl from work that's about to get married told me that before she met her fiance the only time she had a similar orgasm during sex was when she fucked 4 dudes at once. I know what you're thinking but she's actually quite a nice person and the only reason she stayed with some of her past boyfriends was because she liked their family or didn't want to abandon them. She ended up cheating on all of them until she met her soon to be husband.
Not saying it applies to you but if you haven't met someone that can lead you to orgasm maybe you shouldn't stop looking just yet.

>>18069490

I don't have particularly earth-shaking orgasms either, but I can come multiple times. Do you stop or keep going once you've come? I'd recommend trying for a few more orgasms during one session. Usually they improve after a few before toning down again. This however requires the right mental state to succeed. If you enter that "we're done here" state after orgasm, it won't happen, but practice helps.

>>18069554
Maybe I should try fucking 4 dudes at once

> but if you haven't met someone that can lead you to orgasm

He can make me orgasm by rubbing my clit but like I said its very weak, as powerful as a sneeze

>>18069564
Orgasms after the first one are completely pleasureless, its just my pussy contracting and no feeling

So more orgasms than one are even more pointless

>>18069566

All I'm saying is that if you haven't had many sexual partners or experience it is possible that you haven't met the kind of guy that can give you a real orgasm. It's also possible your orgasms are just weak but that kind of defies the definition of one.

>>18069534
What expectations should I have?

I'm definitely orgasming, its just very weak and not that pleasureable

Ive been with him for half a year and Ive slept with around 9 guys, never really enjoyed sex with any of them

>>18069572

Try girls?

>>18069529
Hitachi magic wand... Someone /thread me

Seriously though my ex would go CRAZY with those. And we got into light bondage play and role playing. Towards the end of the relationship, she asked to roleplay rape.. couldn't really do a convincing job, but she loved feeling powerless tied up and naked in front of me with her pussy all lubed up, not knowing where I'd touch her next...

>>18069571
Ive slept with 9 guys, Ive been sexually active for 3 years

Im kind of tired of trying to enjoy sex I just want him to stop being so insecure and thinking that he just has to keep trying and Ill eventually have a big orgasm

>>18069573
Not really my thing and Im in a committed relationship anyway

>>18069574
Lol I have a doxy which is 30% more powerful than a hitachi and my orgasms arent better from using it

I just want advice on how to make him stop caring about how strong my orgasms are

So if you can't orgasm and sex isn't pleasurable, then why are you masturbating?

Perhaps it's your masturbatory habits that are getting in the way of your sexual enjoyment.

>>18069586
When did I say I cant orgasm? My orgasms are just really weak

I rarely masturbate these days, its not really worth the effort for the amount of pleasure I get from it

>>18069589

It's possible you might have a medical condition. Also are you depressed?

>>18069590
What kind of medical condition?

Nah Im not depressed

>>18069589
Interesting.

Not suffering from depression or anything?
Has this just been an issue your entire life?
When did you begin taking birth control, and have you ever changed formulations?

Given your investment in a serious toy, I'm assuming this hasn't always been an issue, or at least not as much of one.

>>18069577
9 for 3 years? Holy shit, perhaps you are just bored of it?

>>18069570
Yeah, this sounds like some sort of nerve damage or chemical deficiency desu. While it can be normal-ish to not orgasm hard, they should never provide that close to no pleasure whatsoever, regardless of which one you're on.

>>18069593
I invested in the toy because I thought it might give me better orgasms, sadly it did not

Its been like this since I started masturbating in my early teens over 10 years ago

>>18069598
Ok im fine with that I guess

But how di I convince my boyfriend that theres nothing he can do

>have a problem
>is unhappy with it
>boyfriend does his best to fix
>doesn't want to fix, wants boyfriend to stop trying and be ok with it

Don't ruin this guy, just tell to his face that you don't give a fuck that your orgasms are shit

Also, this guy's gonna be cucked or you'll cut your wrists in a ltr

>>18069632
Ive already told him, he doesnt listen

>>18069633
That's because he wants you to cum harder more than you do and you're being and ungrateful bitch and not trying to put the same effort as him

Just break up with him, you don't deserve a guy like that. Women seek willing men like that and you just don't care.

>>18069592

I dunno I'm no gynecologist. Maybe your vagina broke.

>>18069639
Calm the fuck down

>>18069490
he's the one that's correct here. if you don't like having sex with him, and don't get much out of it you'll probably leave him and that's what he's worried about

you may think it's totally fine now and you're okay with whatever you have going, but eventually your mind will wander and wonder if other guys could do a better job

>>18069490

I would never be with a woman that I couldn't pleasure sexually. Sure, some girls can't orgasm unless moons align but if you derive little to no pleasure from sex with me I'd have a major issue with it. I'd take it as an indication that you're just not that into me.

>>18069580
Hmm. Well. That's tough, I almost get off more on my girls pleasure.. but lemme ask you this, do you enjoy it at all even if you don't cum? And have you looked into aphrodisiac stuff? (Nitrous, chocolate) role-playing, fantasy? Or even a medical/hormonal issue causing decreased libido

>>18069643
Your attitude is.. Odd lol, you seem really apathetic and hostile, it would seem to fit with low sex drive, you really ought to look into seeing a doctor and explaining what's happening

>>18069490

If he's insecure about it, you might be insecure too seeing as you've picked up on it. Does it make you feel somewhat guilty when you can't have bigger orgasms?

I think stuff like this, you need to just open up to each other, he needs something else to focus on - maybe have a break from sex, focus on your relationship instead of your sex life and then see where it takes you!

Jesus at least your man tries...

>>18069731
I can cum, its just a small amount of pleasure

I have a high libido I get turned on and stuff, but my orgasms are small. So aphrodisiacs are unnecessary, I already have sexual desire

>>18069736
OP here, thats not me youre replying to

>>18069490
Smoke weed before you have sex senpai.

>>18069490
When it comes to being sexually successful, men internalize their partner's dissatisfaction as a personal hit to their ego. I would avoid feeling insecure about it if I were in his position because you need a confident aura in bed to be successful. He might have adopted a harmful mindset where he is more inclined to think you are unsatisfied because he is feeling insecure.

Also all people are different sexually and have varying intensities of orgasm. i think you're normal but

>I basically just have sex to please him

This leads me to think he's probably picked up on this. You shouldn't be having sex if you don't want it, and if you don't want it because he's unattractive, you shouldn't be in a relationship with him.

>>18069870
It's not something I picked up on, it's something he told me explicitly

He's attractive and I get turned on, but my orgasms are weak.

>>18069856
What kind of weed?

>>18069930
That's a personal thing, just don't smoke too much. Like half a hit of anything decent quality or one hit of mid should be fine for your purposes. You don't want to get properly fucked up, just properly fucked.

>>18069929
All right in that case it's his insecurities speaking. Like I said, having weak orgasms is normal and probably not a symptom of anything. I am sure some days you are more turned on than others, human sexuality is a complicated thing.

He needs to get over the insecurity though, and there is really no way for you to accomplish that. No matter what you say, he would think you are lying for his benefit, and further intensify his insecurity. In order to get over an insecurity, an individual has to do it by themselves. They have to stop feeling sorry for themselves and understand not everything can go perfectly.

Perhaps you can help him gradually come to that conclusion by being affectionate and loving, and more vocal when you like something he does. That will give him a big ego boost in bed. Over time he will understand that weak orgasms are your thing, and not a reflection of himself.

>>18069941
> and more vocal when you like something he does.

I think I have my own issues to deal with concerning the above. The only thing that works on me is rubbing my clit, which I usually do by myself.
He never 'does something I like'. I'm resentful over the pleasure he has, he enjoys sex so much and I'm envious of him, this makes me a little sour so I refuse to make any noises or moans unless he can get them out of my involuntarily. I refuse to pretend, I don't want to give him the satisfaction, you see.

>>18069937
The thing is weed hasn't really worked on me and I assumed it was because I was smoking the wrong type. Apparently there's different ratios of active compounds in different strains, right?

>>18069950
Why are you resentful over the pleasure you give to your partner? If anything this means the situation is easier to solve because only one side is unsatisfied. Trying to "punish" your partner by not making any noise during sex doesn't make anything better, it probably doesn't even make you feel better. It just builds up the resentment.

Stop being selfish and learn to communicate better. Why don't you tell him that you are envious of his enjoyment? It might open a much needed discussion and help you guys solve your sex-related issue. You can tell him what you do like so he can finally do it, for example.

>>18069950
Well what the fuck do you like? Have you told him what 'something I like' is? Do you know what that is?

Sex is something you do with your partner because you care about them and want to make them feel good. Not pretending is a good thing, but why wouldn't you want to give him satisfaction?

>>18069963
He knows already that I'm jealous.

So you think I should fake noises during sex to make him feel good?

>You can tell him what you do like so he can finally do it

But there's nothing that I like! We've tried almost everything. Only my clit is sensitive.

>>18069957
Yeah, but the amount you're going to smoke, unless you're actively seeking out low-thc strains, you aren't even going to notice even fundamental differences.

>>18069971
There's nothing I like apart from rubbing my clit, that's the point! He has a bunch of stuff that he likes, I have nothing, we've tried almost everything.

>>18069957
And if smoking it doesn't get you off you might try eating some, but not even like a quarter of a dose of a decent medical grade edible.

>>18069972
So why don't you tell him to do more clit stuff?

Also being more vocal doesn't mean you have to fake it.

>>18069993
doing more clit stuff results in the same shitty weak orgasm.

It's not pleasurable enough for me to make a noise. I barely register the pleasure.

Maybe it's your diet or whatever pills/drugs you might be taking that's contributing to weak orgasms.

Maybe you're stressed.

>>18070048
I'm not on any medication

I am stressed though.

>>18070055

Tell us what's making you stressed, at least anything that stresses you outside of the bedroom.

>>18070065
Work.

>>18069490
Why don't you just fake it?

>>18070068

What about work stresses you out?

>>18070077
I have a lot of work and a lot of people I can't turn down, so there's pressure on me to produce results.

>>18070081

Do you get enough sleep? Do you eat breakfast? Do you find yourself eating at your desk for lunch?

Ones gotta be relaxed when working. of course not everyone will love their job, but it's important to at least enjoy it. Show up early. Listen to music/podcasts if able, laugh, hang out with positive people and avoid the negative Nancys, the ones who talk about how much they hate their jobs. And you gotta work at your own pace, no matter what others say. Everyone works differently, and if you try to match someone else's rhythm, of course you'll stress yourself out.

Make sure you go to bed and wake up happy. If you wake up in a sour mood, all you'll do through the day is focus on the negatives. And passively seek out other jobs, even if it's only one application a day.

>>18070111

>Do you get enough sleep? Do you eat breakfast? Do you find yourself eating at your desk for lunch?

Yes, yes and no

Thanks for the advice.

>>18069490
>Is there a way to stop him feeling insecure?
If a guy had the same problem, all girls would be like
>Hurr i have standards
>Don't be so one sided
>If i don't get what i want it's justified to leave/cheat

>>18069490
>I basically just have sex to please him
every mans nightmare
every time a woman has told me this i lose interest in fucking her immediately

You should see a doctor. Your lack of sensitivity isn't normal and could be an indicator of other problems. On top of that your bf isn't going to stop caring. If the gynecologist says oh well nothing to be done that's one thing, but not willing to even try to fix something that is frankly not normal and alarming is just ridiculous.

>>18069490
Are you on any birth control? Birth controls usually ruin sex.

So do anti depressants.

I couldn't be with a girl who didn't like sex. That would suck. I want a girl who moans and sucks dick and wants to be tied up and choked.

>>18070149
Apparently everything is normal medically. Even my hormones have been checked.

>>18070164
My personal experience (im a guy) is that good orgasms usually take time to build up.

The best orgasms i've had has been in front of a computer screen, playing erotic games where i feel that i need to achieve a certain goal before i can let it out. It works very well, and there is a huge difference in intensity between edging for 2 hours and just having a quick fap.

Maybe you need some different treatment where you're not allowed to orgasm so quickly.

>>18070182
but how can you edge for two hours?

I can edge, but at a certain level of pleasure I just can't get past it, I can take a 5/10 minute break from touching myself and it will go back to square one or I orgasm

Maybe I'm edging wrong?

What kind of erotic games? What goals?

Do you masturbate? Does that feel any different? Try getting to know your body better.

Chances are you're not getting in the mood and/or what you two do in bed bores the shit out of you. Do you talk about what you like? What would you be interestend in doing? Be honest with yourself, sometimes "A different guy" is the answer and it sucks. That's a whole different problem then.

If you're only doing it to please him, I guess you don't take a lot of time. How long's foreplay? Or does he just stick it in while you lay there and wait for it to be over?

>>18070214
I used to masturbate, it helped me get to sleep easier

I masturbate during sex (he fucks me while I rub my clit), that's how I orgasm

I've explored my body and can't really find any sensitive areas

I went through a period where I experimented a lot and fucked a lot of guys to try to find a way to have better orgasms, but I failed to find anything. So no more new guys for me.

Like I said there's not much point to foreplay since I don't have erogenous zones, but it can't last anywhere from 1 minute to an hour, depending on how long he wants to play with my body

>>18070144
This, might as well stay at home and masturbate.

>>18070232
The mind plays a big part in orgasms (not only) for women. Your brain is the sweetest spot on your body, especially when you're not super sensitive anywhere else. The right play settings might make sex more enjoyable even if you don't orgasm very hard.

What gets you in the mood is usually very specific though.
- nobody coming in vs. the possibility of getting caught
- daylight / candles / dark
- indoors vs. outdoors
- gentle touch vs. rough sex/spanking/...
- dom/sub play (usually one setup feel right between two people and it's hard to switch, sometimes there is no compatibility)
- worship/shaming, general dirty talk
- gender and number of partners

Maybe think a little about
- "I would like to try ... for myself."
- "I would never do ..."
- "I would try ... if my partner enjoys it."
- "I would like to try ... but my partner doesn't seem to respond well to the idea."
You don't have to do all of that, some are simply fun fantasies but they can give you an idea of what to ask for in bed.

>>18070274
Thank you for the thoughtful advice

However I find that sexual fantasies are better in your head than when you try them out in real life, and I've tried out almost all my fantasies

Holy shit. All these clueless men.
Chances are, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. That's just the way you are. You at least orgasm, some women can't even feel that.
You resent your boyfriend, so of course he picks up on that and feels insecure trying to give you the same pleasure he's feeling and failing every time. It'll be a bit hard to make him stop feeling this way. He's certainly not helping by putting so much pressure on you to enjoy yourself.
Maybe he can even things out in other ways, like making you food or giving you massages, whatever you'd like.

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>>18070196
Things i play:
>SlaveMaker
>CoC (textbased flash game)
>JSK Studio games
> KooooN Soft games
>Some VNs

So, yeah im basically a cringeworthy neckbeard.

>be me
>be girl
>be able to, in somewhat extreme circumstances, orgasm 5 times in a minute or come only 20 seconds in without any visual stimulation or without thinking about anything
>record is 15 orgasms in under 10 minutes only to have 5 more minutes later
should i worry or should i feel lucky? i do get pretty bad heart palpitations and difficulty to breathe hours after these. also no this isnt bait im honestly worried. i dont even have any sexual toys nor have i ever used any. never had sex either.

>>18070322
Are these full body orgasms?

>>18070322
Your body is telling you you're a good girl taking all those penises. Lets get pregnant woho!

>>18070322
huh... london?

>>18070232
Have you tried not masturbating? You've said you have a high libido, maybe if you take a break from masturbating for a while it'll build up your sensitivity. I'm talking at least a week of no orgasms.

>>18070344
As I said, "I used to masturbate".

I've experienced no change in sensitivity no matter how long I take a break.

>>18070326
eh, what's a full body orgasm?
>>18070328
never fucked
>>18070332
i wish. my dream is having a dick

>>18070455
Where's the feeling of pleasure, is it just in your genitals? Could you describe what the feeling is like?

>>18070326
>>18070455

ok nvm, just googled it. I guess? they can be pretty strong. I have very uncontrollable movements especially in my legs.

>>18070455
>my dream is having a dick
There's a surgery for that.

>>18070465
It's not like having a real dick!!

>>18070468
Why do you want one so much. Nowdays, pussy>>>dick

>>18070468
Men's orgasms are really shitty though, why would you want our 10 second minor crotch spasm when you have a full bodied ecstasy?

>>18070479
OP here, are you taking the piss?

I have a 2-3 second spasm and my boyfriend gets 10 seconds of ecstasy.

>>18070468
Sis, you need to get a boyfriend...

>>18070475
>have pussy
>periods
>pregnancy
>make it harder to masturbate
>not having a good long dick
whats the advantage exactly
>>18070479
to be fair, my orgasms are shorter than 10 seconds, or at least thats what im aware of. not that i mind

>>18070486
I doubt he can have multiple in a row like some girls can do.

>>18070489
>good long dick
You're watching too much porn aren't you? Most dicks aren't above 6 inches.

>>18070490
Keyword some girls

>>18070496
True, no guy can have multiple though, there's always a refractory period. It's so shit, cumming is the worst part of sex.

>>18070489

Masturbation is easier and less messy.
Periods can be tough, that's true.
Pregnancy is not a problem if you don't fuck around.
A lot of dicks are small.

In exchange though dick owners worship you, and bend before your feet, do everything for you, and everyone helps you because poor oppressed women meme.

>>18070495
A DICK IS A DICK I WOULDNT COMPLAIN
plus i dont really watch normal porn or penis-related porn
>>18070504
im ugly

Fat? If you're not fat there will be dicks for you.

>>18070509
Why do you think you're ugly?
Plus if you had a dick, you would be complaining about tfwnogf and exploitive bitches in this same spot.

>>18070513
>>18070509

>>18070495
>6 inches
That's still above average.

What is the japanese average, 4?
I think it's 5 among white people.
Some people have 3 inces..
And other people have fucking erectile dysfunction because they are depressed and on fucking soloft
And other people just can't get a girlfriend.
And the rest are happy.

What is it like, a few percent of people who never have a bad relationship or lose a job or have any disaster or disease happen to them?

>>18070517
I'm actually underweight. 5'4 and around 95 pounds, i think.
>>18070516
hmm, maybe. but i already complain about tfwnosex. Also im pretty sure im ugly, around a 3 or 4/10. The rest of my body is pretty good, honestly, but with clothes on its not noticeable.

>>18070531
What's wring with your face that you think you're a 3?

>>18070531
Just be at a club at 3 am on a Saturday.
You will have more guys trying to get into your pants than i have recruiters spamming me on linked in, and have studded for 5 years and worked for 10 in order to be where i am today.

You just need to be a girl. You were born with this talent, no effort required.

>>18070534
Square face, very defined jaw, BIG nose, asymmetrical face, kinda wonky eyes, big forehead

>>18070542
Have you ever tried posting on /soc/?

>>18070542
>BIG nose
Are you kike?

>>18070539
im a awkward huge neet that looks 10
>>18070545
no

>>18070555
Well, do it then. If you're rated a 3 then maybe you're right, but I doubt.

>>18070555
Post pic

>>18070552
spanish, might be muslim genes

>>18070555
So, im a 33 year old teenage boy with an education and a job. Never had a gf.
I still share a car with my mom.

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>>18070560
>Muslim genes
Wear hijab

>>18069490 just tell him it's not his fault. acknowledge to him that you know he's trying so he doesn't feel like it's vain.

>>18069950
>>18069976

why did it take so long to drag the truth out of you? at first you said you wanted your boyfriend to stop worrying about it, but then you revealed that you're salty because he enjoys sex more than you. also if you're intentionally laying there stiff and specifically trying to NOT enjoy sex, then how do you expect to enjoy it? how do you expect to enjoy it when you lay there being all salty instead of really trying to fix the problem?

>>18069604
You can't because you could go to a doctor to fix yourself.

He can fix you and do something but your the only thing in the way. Go see a doctor.