/adv/, I'm 21f and newly in an ldr relationship with 21m.

>my partner upset me
>i dont tell them because im such a sensitive sweetie teehe

You are literally garbage dating tier. ALL of your relationships will fail after the honeymoon period if you do this shit.

>>18068686
I know two wrongs don't make a right and all that but give it right back to him. Be just as blunt and sarcastic or maybe more. When he complains about you just say "you turned me into this"

>>18068728
Dude, Idk. I find it difficult to say this to him because he would rightfully want me to explain and it will be difficult for me to do it.

The thing is, the shit he says to me is completely fine if it was said by a friend. But it hurt me because idk. Either it's because I actually liked him and that shit hurts when said by people I'm romantically interested in or because he's past the honeymoon period faster than I am.


>>18068731
I've been trying that, really. I started being more direct but I wonder if I actually want this shit from a romantic relationship in the first place. I feel like my feelings are slowly fading before it even had the chance to truly take roots.

>>18068771
>I've been trying that, really. I started being more direct but I wonder if I actually want this shit from a romantic relationship in the first place. I feel like my feelings are slowly fading before it even had the chance to truly take roots.


Then you need to tell him his behavior is bothering you and make it known it is not okay. If he doesn't take that to heart or seem to care it's time to move on. It will only get worse if you let it.

>>18068686
Everything that bothers you in a relationship is worth bringing up if you can't even do that, then YOU fail at relationships.

>>18068792
>>18068803
I don't know what to tell him and how to go about it. Should I start by pinpointing which parts of his jokes it is that I find out of line? I feel that he's great at doing that, he can tell me immediately when something I say or do pisses him off but I find it harder to do it. I just laugh, but that's also partly because I laugh whenever I feel uncomfortable.

I recognize that it's also my own fault that I can't communicate my feelings clearly.

>>18068823
Don't laugh at the immature/annoying jokes. You have to control the uncomfortable laughter. And yes immediately tell him it's not funny or it is offensive or however it makes you feel. The longer this goes on the worse it will get. Also, look at your behavior. Are you doing things that make him react this way? If so (and you really want to make this work) then curb your behavior. If it's truely not something you are doing to annoy him and he's just 100% a jerk then it's time to go.

>>18068686
Yes, talk to him about it, relationship are built around trust and communication, if you can't even talk to each other about the things that are bothering you this relationship has no future.

>>18068823
>when you said X it made me feel Y
If he brushes you off or belittles you then you know you're going to have a problem. A person who is good at relationships and gives a shit will respond with something like
>Whoa, I had no idea Y would make you feel X. I didn't mean it like that. Why do you think you feel that way?
Then you could expand on your feelings and add something like
>when you're trying to express Y, maybe you could phrase is more like W?
Or maybe the problem is that he said it in mixed company. Either he cares about your feelings and can work with you, or he will go into full defense/offense mode, which is a sign of a doomed relationship.

>>18068686
is the type of guy to get mad for years when he finds out you hooked up with people before him? cause that sounds like my last ex and playing with drugs jusy worsened it.

>>18068771
So basically you're complaining about him acting a certain way when you're too much of a pussy to tell him. Are you expecting him to read your mind or something? Also, you're a massive hipocripte for only caring when he does it. My advice is to remove yourself from dating.

You need to flat out confront him and ask him "What the fuck are you like this?"

I dealt with the same sort of thing with my boyfriend. I am soft-hearted like you but you can't pussyfoot around this shit. Stick up for yourself. Because if you don't that will ruin the relationship just as well.

>>18068899
Lol nah, he's actually pretty chill about that. Plus I'm a virgin so this issue never came up.

>>18068940
He said he doesn't care

>>18068686
just link them this thread.

tell them how you feel.

for what it's worth, I'm in a ldr as well. we were internet friends as well before this, and they're also my first. after all this time, I still have no idea why people find it so hard to just talk to their partner about things that bother them. it feels like the easiest thing in the world to do with mine.

just tell him
btw young lady if you thinkg a great relationship is sweet, youll have lots and lots of disappointments coming your way

sarcasm helps taking yourself not so seriously (works both ways) and blunt honesty will mean you arent going to have misunderstandings or miscomunication

if you cant handle it he can adjust a little
but dont be such a special snowflake
you really arent, nobody is

>>18069257
I do appreciate honesty. But I guess I feel like the honeymoon period ended too early. He confessed first and he was so sweet I thought I could fall in love. It lasted only less than a month and I guess I feel like it ended too soon before I could really fall for him.

>>18069039
Wait, what? You have been dating for 3 months and haven't had sex yet?

>>18069275
he still loves you
hes brave enough to be himself ya know
just tell him you liked his romantic side too
dont expect us to read your minds, TELL HIM WHAT YOU THINK

>>18069279
Lol. We're ldr so we can't exactly do that.

>>18069294
That's a good idea. Maybe I should say that to him.

>>18069328
Have you even met in person?

>>18069328
planes do exist, you know.

long-distance is no excuse.

>>18069328
I'm in a ldr and communication is more important than anything. I've kept my feelings bottled up inside of me quite a few times and it just doesn't work. Talk to him and make him understand where you are coming from. Someone being blunt can hurt but it is positive too. Maybe he can do so without being mean or rude. Oh and if you are serious about this figure out a time to meet asap. Seeing them at the airport for the first time will melt your heart.

>>18069335
>>18069334
>>18069337

We're going to be meeting soon in April. A flight goes 900-1000 bucks since we're pretty much at opposite ends of the globe, so that's why we haven't been meeting each other so far.

I guess one of the reasons why I haven't said it is also because I feel awkward saying this on phone? I want to tell him gently when he's here I guess.

>>18069342
If I fly to the US from Europe it'd usually half of what my gf pays. I don't get why but saves me some money. Good that you are meeting so soon. The whole time you are together should be amazing. Maybe he won't do it in person either. You sre probably going to be too busy fucking anyways.