This is less of a "help me" thread and more of me trying

>>18068274
This is a more common issue that a lot of people deal with anon. It's just that not many people are as self-aware as you are. You have the choice to reconcile these two "selfs" and be your actual self all of the time or you can choose to be your projected self with some people and your actual self with close friends and family. The choice is yours. I can say from experience that when we don't live and act out our core values, we begin to become dissatisfied with ourselves and slowly little by little, self-loathing creeps in.

For me, I chose a while ago to be my actual self regardless of people liking me or not because that's when I'm most at peace with my self. I don't exhaust myself anymore projecting what I think i need to with whomever I'm with.

>>18068274
Actually, a very interesting subject. Maybe start with The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life by Erving Goffman. Foundational study, might be a bit outdated but it's good stuff.

Now, answering your question, yes I have different personas to deal with different people. When it comes to a professional environment where something is at stake (think a job interview) I often have to assume an extremely proactive attitude, polite but always trying to get the "upper hand". With acquaintances, like classmates I try to be funny and cheerful, while keeping a helpful and attentive attitude. My "self" is more on the quiet side, usually people that don't know me and get to see that side of me considers it moody or melancholic; it's more that I get enraptured with my thoughts (not necessarily profound or interesting).
Now, if I were to judge my success at representing a good role, I'd say it's only partial. People don't seem to be uncomfortable around me, and I get the more immediate benefits out of this, but it seems like I absolutely suck at actually connecting with people.

About the idea of everyone just "being themselves" in front of everyone else, that seems nice, specially for people like me, that won't understand the mechanics of implicit social cues as nicely as others. But I honestly think it's impossible, since putting on a facade actually brings great competitive advantages to the ones that excel at it, so there is a selective pressure favoring people willing to present themselves in better ways. Just look at me: the job interview persona actually helped me.

Yeah outwardly I'm a taunting obnoxious weirdo but with my close friends i really mellow out, i think its a crowd thing.

>>18068293
>You have the choice to reconcile these two "selfs" and be your actual self all of the time or you can choose to be your projected self with some people and your actual self with close friends and family

I've tried both and I've encountered common difficulties with each one. Both methods are difficult b/c the conditions in which I project my persona are rather nebulous. Sometimes my persona is dominant with people I've known since childhood, sometimes my self comes out for people I've known for a week, sometimes I can't "access" one of my selves even though I think the situation would permit it. Perhaps it's just the matter of the particular person or circumstance but that's far too vague. I want to delineate exactly why this persona comes out so I can better control it and then I can truly choose between your two options

>>18068546
Always nice to have something on my reading list. Thanks!

My OP didn't mention personas in regard to professionalism. This is b/c I don't have much experience in regards to that but I imagine my persona reigning supreme in that environment. Maybe if my job environment is really shitty my self may rear its head, maybe cause few workplace tensions.

>But I honestly think it's impossible, since putting on a facade actually brings great competitive advantages to the ones that excel at it

Yeah, like I said, not looking for a NEET utopia but I think everyone could benefit if we better define when social games are necessary and when they are not. I say this b/c there are a bunch of people I know that never really abandon their social contrivances and attempt to connect on a deeper level. It's really frustrating, especially when I know the person is more interesting than that. I'm not looking for deep conversations about the meaning of life 24/7 but so much conversation I have is dull when it doesn't have to be.