Is comparing yourself to others the only way to improve yourself?

>>18066491
Not necessarily.
I think a lot of people improve themselves to get more attentions, and it's very normal. And, yes, competition breeds improvement.
But it's also normal to work on yourself to change things you dislike about yourself or change for people you care about.

Be yourself doesn't mean "stop improving". It means "don't pretend to be something you are not", not "never change what you are".
Don't try to act confident if you aren't because you will be perceived as a scumbag. Don't act like you fuck every other girl if you're virgin because you will seem pathetic. People can tell if you pretend, and even if they cannot you will have to pretend forever or disappoint them. When people say "be yourself" they mean "show people who you are early on, because even if it is not the best it's better to have someone love you for who you are than having someone love you for something you are not".

>>18066506
>
Be yourself doesn't mean "stop improving". It means "don't pretend to be something you are not", not "never change what you are".
Don't try to act confident if you aren't because you will be perceived as a scumbag. Don't act like you fuck every other girl if you're virgin because you will seem pathetic. People can tell if you pretend, and even if they cannot you will have to pretend forever or disappoint them. When people say "be yourself" they mean "show people who you are early on, because even if it is not the best it's better to have someone love you for who you are than having someone love you for something you are not".

I'm sorry mate, but this part of your post contradicted itself twice over and made no sense whatsoever

>>18066512
How?

>>18066491
i be myself
it just happens that myself wants to lose weight and get more money

i think you just place a lot of value on female approval so that's what motivates you

>>18066491
If you're surviving alone on an island you'd either get better at building shelter, gathering food, hunting and fishing, or die. If you have solved your immediate existential needs, you'd experience curiosity. You'll be driven to explore and experiment, making you better at knowing your territory, making tools. All of that would come through painful process of trial and error.
Picking a role model is a way to outsource trial and error to the rest of society, great successes and failures alike catch attention and tell you do's and don'ts of this incomprehensibly complex world.
>>18066512
"be yourself" means not to bluff. Bluff is less efficient at building character than honest inquiry, but it doesn't require to painfully admit your lack of knowledge and experience, making the gamble appealing.

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>>18066491
well, you don't need to compare yourself to other people constantly to know that a muscular body is more attractive. you don't need to compare yourself to the rich to know that a well-paying career is good. this is all common sense

and there's absolutely nothing wrong with comparing yourself to others as a motivational factor, but you probably shouldn't do it in the long run. You will focus things you can't change i.e height, jaw line/facial structure, etc, and you'll never really accept yourself. Even if you focus on things you can change, you'll never appreciate your progress since you'll always be comparing yourself to those who are better.

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>>18066615
>this is all common sense
No shit, Sherlock. How does it spread to become common? Through observation of other people.
>you'll never appreciate your progress since you'll always be comparing yourself to those who are better.
I don't even. People always need goals, the goals need to be aimed higher than the starting point, and satisfaction comes from noting the progress towards those goals. You are showing some resentful mentality towards your betters.

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>>18066649
>Through observation of other people.
if you think you need to observe Chads picking up staceys to know that a good body is attractive, then you must be 12. the positive effects of a muscular body have already been ingrained in our minds.

>goals constantly need to be aimed higher
no shit, sherlock. but you should focus on yourself on YOUR progress. not trying to be someone else and their progress

you can easily mark down your starting weight and take photos of what you look like over the course of your workout. that's progress and admiring yourself. doing that is healthier than staring at op's pic related and constantly wanting to be someone else

>>18066491
Only 3 things get me motivated

>Someone says I cant do x
>Someone is doing x much better than I am
>I need to do x or there will be a fucking shitstorm

Essentially only competition, anger, and stress make me feel motivated.

I think this is a natural part of humanity, even people who are less extreme than I am still need to feel some sort of struggle to be happy. Rich kids whove never felt any sort of struggle in life are usually incredibly depressed or shitty people. Lions in zoos where theyre taken care of and they get to lie around all day playing with balls are super fucking depressed.

Pretty much every living thing has become used to the pattern of struggling just to survive, and then triumphing
We always had to feel pain before we could feel good.

Now we dont get enough pain

Pretty much all motivators can be boiled down to pain, in various forms

>>18066615
But this isnt true

You can compare yourselves to others, see that you are lacking compared to them, and not hate yourself

Comparing myself to others either validates me, because Im better, or it psyches me up to beat them if Im losing.

What you feel depends on what lens you choose to view things through - dont feel sad, feel angry. Feel admiration. Feel a predatory sort of desire to win.

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>>18066673
'Good body' is highly subjective, and there are other, arguable (undeniably for some) stronger factors of attractiveness. We live in unprecedented society evolution haven't prepared us for, so picking priorities requires looking around for successes and failures. Each aspect of self-improvement has complex methodology in which thousands of man-hours have be been poured. Speaking of which
>you can easily mark down your starting weight and take photos of what you look like over the course of your workout
is a terrible way to get anywhere. You don't know how to prevent injury, you don't how to perform with good form, you don't know a bit about programming. There are plenty of clueless skeletons doing 200 pushups per day and wondering, how come they don't grow anymuscle, or fail to do a pull up.

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>>18066716
and that's why im saying there's nothing wrong with using it as a motivational tool, something to look forward to or drive you. but it shouldn't be the main/constant reason. you should focus on yourself instead of constantly trying to be like X guy. during working out, you should focus on 1-upping yourself and gradually being better, losing more weight, lifting more, etc.

>feel a desire to win, feel angry
>comparing validates me, or psyches me up
you shouldn't improve yourself for the sake of being better than others and "beating" them as if this is a competition. and you shouldn't look at those who are better with some envy. you should always encourage others to improve - this isn't a 1-up race

and there's always going to be those who are stronger, make more money, have better genetics, etc. You're either always going to have a losing mindset or you'll just compare yourself to those who are worse off to validate yourself

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>>18066770
>There are plenty of clueless skeletons doing 200 pushups per day and wondering, how come they don't grow anymuscle, or fail to do a pull up.
I'm not sure how this is relevant to anything i said. You don't just walk into a gym and do random shit. You follow a workout routine i.e SS, then go from there. while doing that, you mark down caloric intake if needed, weight, etc, and take photos to see progress for encouragement. Keep in mind I didn't say "Stare at a picture of a guy who looks better than you" anywhere in that last sentence

>there are other, stronger factors of attractiveness
i never said there weren't. It just so happens that op seemed to be focusing on working out and money, which coincidentally happen to be 2 important ones.

>>18066775
>you shouldnt
Why not? You seem to be saying that this state of mind is inherently a bad one, when Im a happy person. Its an enjoyable feeling, not a negative one.

If certain things are what do it for you, then you should utilized those certain things.

>envy

It isnt envy but admiration. Havent you ever been inspired by someone, and wanted to do something even grander than what they did? Havent you had someone you deeply respected, and you both wanted to be like them and yet surpass them?

>and there's always going to be those who are stronger, make more money, have better genetics, etc. You're either always going to have a losing mindset or you'll just compare yourself to those who are worse off to validate yourself

There are very few people who have all of these things. And that isnt true at all. You can feel pride at your skill in something, see someone better, and then desire to improve. You can be proud of yourself, which inherently requires you having done something to be proud of (something better). Theres no disdain, youre not looking down on others and thinking "Man Im so glad Im not shitty like they are"
It's not a losing mindset. Its not "Damn theyre so great, and I suck. Boohoo."
It's "Damn, theyre so great. I want to be that great."

You make everything negative, when like I said all of this is always a very positive feeling
Maybe it requires you to be an inherently optimistic person to function this way.

>>18066832
>You follow a workout routine
Which is external knowledge you evaluate by looking at practitioners who are better than you, and serve as representation of your end goal.
>i never said there weren't. It just so happens that op seemed to be focusing on working out and money, which coincidentally happen to be 2 important ones.
Read further. You have limited time and opportunities. You need to observe others to figure out your priorities.
Also, it isn't obvious that attractiveness abundant wealth, and cars in particular, would be ingrained in us on biological level, considering how recent of a concept it is. And the study I've hinted at https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/c86a/142c0ae2d70d95f6292af634b6bbc7d43a05.pdf shows it isn't inherent to males to rate up the wealthy female. So you do need to look at 'Chads' to figure out how to get the puss.

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>>18066841
As i've said multiple times, there's nothing inherently wrong with it. Comparing yourself to another person gives you an end goal, a benchmark to surpass, a mantle to take over. Comparing yourself to others serves as inspiration and you can even learn several things from said person.

I'm saying it's not the only reason to improve, and you should focus more inwardly. This applies to most skills or activities. Instead of focusing on beating records or being like someone, you should focus on beating YOUR records and improve gradually by constantly beating yourself. The only person to beat in this world is YOU. Lift more than you have previously. Practice and do whatever it is more effectively and fix your mistakes. Improve everyday and concentrate and beating what you've currently done over and over again. This is what I'm saying, or at least trying to say. Focusing on others distracts you. You will ultimately focus on the end goal over the journey you need to take to actually get there, which requires you to look in the mirror

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>>18066889
>Which is external knowledge you evaluate by looking at practitioners who are better than you, and serve as representation of your end goal.
Comparing yourself to someone and learning from them aren't the same thing. When reading SS, do you compare yourself to the author the entire time? Or do you read it to simply learn and have a workout routine?

> it isn't obvious that attractiveness abundant wealth, and cars in particular, would be ingrained in us on biological level
I never said they were

>>18066940
>do you compare yourself to the author the entire time
The answer is right there. You evaluate knowledge by looking at practitioners. Then you go through the effort of consuming and performing the knowledge.
>I never said they were
So you surrender
>you don't need to compare yourself to the rich to know that a well-paying career is good
?

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>>18066976
>Then you go through the effort of consuming and performing the knowledge
are you actively comparing yourself to the author when working out? No. Do you look up the author and admire him? no. If you read a science textbook, do you admire the author? no.

>abundant wealth = power = attraction
>a recent concept
?

>>18066491
I think it's just realizing that you want to be like that that's key. It means "shit, it would be pretty cool to be athletic, wealthy, intellectual, etc. I should try to be like that" Thus the person you're 'comparing' yourself to is simply more of an inspiration than anything else

>>18067066
>are you actively comparing yourself to the author when working out?
Planning and performing a discreet activities, which I've already broke down. I do have a model of 'natty' in my head from previous observations, just like I can draw an apple without having one in my line of sight.
>Do you look up the author and admire him?
Read the post. Practitioners. I can find motivating pictures of /fit/izens, so I decide to trust their sticky.
>If you read a science textbook, do you admire the author?
Absolutely, because I do it by choice, and find his explanations enlightening.
>?
Car is a recent concept. You have to observe social interactions to pick up the sexiness factor of cars.
Still, the length of time most people had more than one set of rags, a place in 10-person hut, and a couple of shared tools is evolutionary insignificant.

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>>18067117
>Practitioners
Author, practitioner. Same thing.

>so I decide to trust their sticky.
or someone could just appeal to authority and trust it because it's the fitness board

>cars
I still have not brought up cars or mentioned them in any of my posts

>evolutionary insignificant
You think wealth only applies to money? It applies to everything, including wealth in resources i.e food, water, shelter, materials, land, etc. Rags, tools, and shelter. That's wealth. All species have been competing for these resources. It just so happens that money is the gateway to those things. Money isn't something evolutionary ingrained, but the need for resources is there. It does not take constant comparisons (the topic of the post) to know more money (a resource) is good

>>18066491
Yes, Machiavelli says that one should walk in the paths of great men so that if you never reach their level of virtue that you may at least have the odor of it.

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>>18066491
Because Be Yourself is code for act without pretence. Pretence is feigned, it's an act or a rehearsal that is wrought out of your perceptions of how you ought to act with the implied knowledge that you will get some desired effect or status.
Living according to your own standards and principles with consistency is the solution, it is naturally attractive to others. You won't please everyone, probably less people but the only people you do please will be those who are worth having around. It also allows you to exist independently of the evaluation of others.

How do you know what your own standards and principles are? Taking responsibility for yourself and the situations in your life will give you purpose and meaning. Practised self-reflection, self-awareness to develop your belief systems and how you think, act and process the world. Making mistakes and learning from them. All of this will whittle away the uncarved stone that is the sum of your identity, refining it such that all of the parts exist together more closely as an identifiable whole (vs a fragmented, under-understood impression of your personality which out of alignment with your principles and fraught with unexplored cognitive dissonances)

Why this tangent is relative is because when you root the value of your existence in principles which align with your actions, your motivation becomes intrinsic to your experience. While extrinsic factors like competition can still be powerful they now adopt role which is more supplementary in effect.
In the absence of that intrinsic factor, you are left hollow. You can never be truly happy if you rely on the capricious tides of external factors like comparing yourself to others to inspire you. In those circumstances you have set a precedent, habituated a behaviour wherein you will always evaluate yourself relative to someone else who you see as better than you and in that, never be satisfied with what you achieve. It's the ever shifting goal posts.

>>18067157
>Same thing
You've got your answer then, why ask again? Don't bluff.
>or someone could just appeal to authority and trust it because it's the fitness board
You keep putting a layer of obfuscation between fit men getting pussy and your decision making. First it's common sense, then it's authority. Both can be broken further to support OP's axiom.
>I still have not brought up cars
I'm not allowed to bring up facts that contradict your claims?
>you don't need to compare yourself to the rich to know that a well-paying career is good

>You think wealth only applies to money?
No. However current level of wealth is unprecedented, and cannot be ingrained, so navigating modern dominance hierarchy requires referencing its members. The ways you climb the hierarchy are so varied and specific, you have no 5 years at university instinct.

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>>18067227
>First it's common sense, then it's authority
Yes, easily understandable that a muscular body is more attractive than a fat piece of lard. The means to get to that point is more complicated, which is why an anon would go on /fit/ and read their sticky and trust it because he doesn't know any better (authority).

>contradict my claims
I have never made a claim about cars and its effect, but okay

>cannot be ingrained
the need for resources can't be ingrained?