Thread replies: 12
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1
File: v1hcdepxl.jpg (39KB, 490x360px) Image search:
[Google]
39KB, 490x360px
In 2005 I had surgery for gall stone clusters. The anesthesiologist made a mistake and I suffered anesthesia awareness. In the years since I suffered chronic night terrors reliving the event and developed an acute somniphobia where I'd go through anxiety attacks of varying degrees whenever I needed to sleep (my subconscious having associated sleep with the trauma). These days I sleep approximately once every third day, usually by being overcome with exhaustion to the point that the panic is muted behind the haze. But even that sleep is a gamble as I'll generally bite down on my tongue hard unconsciously to wake myself up. The right side of my tongue is covered in scars and looks mangled from years of this.
A huge part of the problem is that even trying to take medication to help me sleep as weak as doxylamine still triggers an anxiety attack and more often than not I can't bring myself to take any medication knowing it'll induce sleep.
I'm just so fucking tired all the time. I just want to be able to sleep when I'm tired again. I can't imagine /adv/ will have any insight here for me that I haven't considered, but it can't hurt to try, right?
>>
>>18062827
>and I suffered anesthesia awareness
sheeeeit so you felt the pain of the operation and everything? No wonder you got fucked up. Have you tried intense physical exercise? Like running nonstop for two hours as hard as you can until you're so physically exhausted you can't remain awake?
>>
>>18062832
>you felt the pain of the operation and everything?
Yes.
>running nonstop for two hours as hard as you can until you're so physically exhausted
I honestly don't have the energy for it. A lot of my downtime is just sitting around in a fugue.
>>
>I can't imagine /adv/ will have any insight here for me that I haven't considered, but it can't hurt to try, right?
I'm sorry that I can't be of much help because I haven't had an experience like this, but holy fucking shit anon I'm sorry that happened to you and that you've had to live with the effects of it all these years.
I really don't know what I can do to help you other than to let you know that a faceless anon has sympathy for you and wants for you to be able to live a happy and peaceful life.
>>
>>18062841
What about large quantities of alcohol? It will slowly kill you but it's great for coping.
>>
>>18062827
would you rather still have the gall stone clusters? The job of an anesthesiologist is extremely difficult, mistakes happen all the time.
its one of the risks you're supposed to be knowledgeable about and consider when you decide on surgical treatment.
>>
>>18062882
>mistakes happen all the time
Anesthesia awareness is an extremely rare and unfortunate thing to happen to someone. I can't even imagine how traumatizing that is.
>>
>>18062882
That's totally besides the point of OP's post you butthurt anaesthesiologist.
>>
>problem exists since 2005
>Not solved yet
What kind of backwards country do you live in that professionals let you walk around with a serious infliction for more than a decade? Or is it that you haven't sought help (or not enough help) during that time?
You said you tried medicine. Have you tried some form of therapy/psychiatry?
>>
My heart goes out to op.
I rarely post, but this time I felt the need. Op you have my sympathies. What a terrible event. I'm sorry
>>
>>18062827
>>18062841
OP I'm sorry this happened to you and I really hope you're able to improve as soon as possible.
I assume you've done this because you have medications but I will ask have you been in therapy? If not, please find a therapist. Therapy after this is one of the best tools you can possibly use to learn how to cope and hopefully have it not bother you anymore.
Also, I've noticed you wrote this:
> A lot of my downtime is just sitting around in a fugue.
I am not a professional on anything, but in my opinion this is very bad. I assume by fugue you meant the effect of drugs. If so, please talk to someone about changing drugs so it wouldn't keep you in a haze. I feel it is very important to do other things than sit around. IF you sit around then you tend to live in your head. The traumatic event probably burned in your brain, but the brain is very malleable and I don't doubt that your PTSD can be improved.
What I'm saying is you need to do other things. Overwhelm your brain with other things. Sitting around and being in the same anxious state everyday will not help because your brain will keep experiencing the same thing over and over again with no changes. Constantly do something. Make days where you clean, make a meal from scratch, learn to code on your computer, talk and hang out with people, do some puzzles, etc. Basically things that are intricate and require a lot of focus. Get variation in you days. You can mix things up. That way you'll be thinking less of the event which should weaken those connections in your brain related to the event. It might take a while though.
Sorry my post seemed a bit disorganized - I had trouble explaining it smoothly. But, again, I'm no professional and I don't even know if half of what I said is useful or true, but I do know that sitting around not doing anything isn't good even for a healthy person.
>>
Propranolol (used for PTSD) may help, along with a big dose of therapy. See a psychiatrist for help. You cannot live like this. I am not a doctor.
Thread posts: 12
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1