I'm a 26 year old woman. I've been going on tinder/OKcupid

The people you've met are either fucking plebs or you may be depressed, therefore apathetic, which hinders you to feel somewhat intense emotions. Or try it with talking up guys in the streets if they get your hormones tingling and see how it'll work out.

You're secretive and withdrawn, at least at an emotional level, because you were rejected in the past.

Honestly it's pretty obvious from your post OP.

So, how do you overcome that? I'm not 100% sure. But the first thing to do is to recognize the problem.

One thing I do know is this: there's no specific trick that will allow you to develop intimate relationships. You will have to learn how to relax your boundaries around the guys you meet.

It's a journey to open up OP, but it's worth it. The feeling of mutual love is worth a thousand rejections :).

>>18061188
Hmm, I don't think I'm depressed or apathetic. I still feel intense emotions when I think about one guy I fell for (who did not feel the same way). I'm not in contact with him anymore

Talk to guys in the streets? You can't just go up to strangers in the street that's creepy.

>>18061190
Well I guess I've achieved the first step,

I don't think my problem is with boundaries an defensiveness, I'm more than willing to be vulnerable and open myself up to the possibility of being hurt.

But they all seem boring or not loveable to me. They're not intelligent or interesting or have much soul.

But people have had feelings for these guys before since they have exes, so why can't I like them/fall for them? Why must I always develop feelings for only extraordinary people?

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>>18061182
Have sex with someone who knows how to please you, and give you multiple orgasms until you break down, sobbing in ecstacy.

I'm available tonight.

>>18061209
What is it that made the guys you met when you were younger so amazing? Like, specifically what qualities did they have beyond abstract things like "they weren't boring" or "they had soul"?

I'm just confused because you said in the OP that you had problems developing feelings, but now you're saying that it's just a matter of the relative lack of quality in the men you've been seeing recently.

If the problem is that you're meeting the wrong guys, then the solution may just be to go where the interesting guys are (maybe at the gym?) Or, maybe you just have to wait until the right one comes along.

desu I'm just confused because it seems like you contradicted your OP.

I'm >>18061190 btw

>>18061209
>Talk to guys in the streets? You can't just go up to strangers in the street that's creepy.

Why not? Some might think it's creepy, some might be delighted by it. Everyone's different, and maybe you would find an extraordinary guy with that approach.

I share the same dilemma when it comes to friends/partners. Most people are, indeed, boring - because they either never had to rely on outside-the-box-thinking or they will always hide their eccentric traits. I usually don't have the patience and break the ice asap and feel out the results.

You'll immediately realise who is a hit or miss if you search with a certain set of ingrained sense of principles, which you aren't ashamed to show/tell about on dates or meetups.

>>18061229
They were extraordinary because they had immense intelligence (legitimate geniuses) or they were genuine artists, or were utterly unique in the world, no one else like them, or they were big risk takers who did extraordinary things, exciting and fun people to be around, that sort of thing.

I've only met 3 people who fit this criteria, and I fell deeply in love with them.


I don't think I've contradicted myself. I want to know how to develop feelings for these guys even though they're not extraordinary.

What's wrong with me that stops me developing feelings for this guy?

>>18061209
>soul

Talk more about this.

>>18061248
By soul I mean simply a depth of character, and engaging in some level of introspection.

>>18061246
How specifically do you go up to strangers in public? How do you introduce yourself?

i feel like im kinda similar ive only ever felt strong emotions towards 1 girl in my life but it wasnt reciprocated, but the fact that ive felt those feelings once before makes me believe i can feel them again, i feel like im just very particualar in what i like in a person and that makes it very difficult to find someone, and i accept that, you just have to be patient

>>18061182
>Is there something you can do to develop feelings for someone?
what were you expecting, insta falling in love?
this is just retarded disney fantasy view on things, let me explain how it goes:
first you get attraction from someone, doesn't matter if they look good or not, its just chemistry
so you get interested for someone, and from there you want to know them better, hopefully they will want to know you too
and from getting to know each other you develop intimacy over time, and thats really what feels are

feels great too, opening up and getting to know everything about someone,

>>18061215
lelz, gay chad

To be honest mate by now it should be a defense mechanism. You either get attached to someone soon or you'll be old and nobody interested. 26 is ancient.

>>18061259
That hasn't been my experience.

if you're asking how to settle:
spend a lot of time around these dudes, do activities you both enjoy (or take turns if you can't find enough common interests), go on dates, experience new things together, trust them, be open about your feelings
over time you'll start to care about the person

>>18061247
For one thing, people tend to become more boring as they get older. Taking massive risks is more difficult the older you get, and being an artist generally doesn't pay off (although it does for some people obviously).

I'm not so sure that there's anything wrong with you, it's just that you tick differently than the people you've been seeing. If art is your thing, maybe try going to some art galleries.

Some people just like living a more humdrum life than others, and there's nothing you can particularly do for yourself if you find those people unattractive.

Sorry OP, but I think you may just have to accept that you have a higher need for stimulation than most people.

It may be that you're to blame - if you've decided to live a boring life, you may just not be around interesting people, unlike in HS or college when you were around lots of different kinds of people your own age.

>>18061247
So they were extraordinary people that most people fall in love with and appreciate it anyway. What did you offer? I'm not trying to be rude but who you are to only fall in love with the unique ones? What makes you special to them as well? Do you do anything? Are you really smart or funny? Do you just take pics and think of yourself as artsy? Are your tits and vagina the only qualifying things you offer? What makes you special enough for special people?

>>18061253

Well yeah but what is depth of character? That's what I'm getting at. Just curious in general what it means to you.

>>18061264
I think you've misunderstood me, but that's ok.

Maybe there's no solution to my problem.

>>18061256
Honesty. Telling what attracted me to them, be it their face, piece of clothing, perfume, radiance etc. You give someone a compliment and from that point on it's their turn to react; engaging smalltalk or shrug you off for being so alienating. And if the conversation going I just introduce myself, naturally within the flow.

I don't do it often for said reasons, but some gave me the cold shoulder, were listening politely, laughed outright in my face (that one was for a potential date) or a good and interesting conversation.

>>18061265
> I'm not trying to be rude but who you are to only fall in love with the unique ones?

Exactly! That's why I made this thread to ask for advice on how to fall in love with the ordinary ones.

So seeing as I don't meet the requirements for the extraordinary ones, how do I change my brain in order to fall for the guys I go on dates with?

>>18061270
I wouldn't know how to express that in words. But I think you instinctively know what I mean, right?

>>18061262
>That hasn't been my experience.
it may just be the case that you haven't found someone with good chemistry yet...
and just be sure, you have to be curious about knowing someone, from the quote
>the people who are more interesting are the people the people who are more interested

and also, don't fool yourself with "serious crushes", more likely these are just over amplified feelings due to not getting what you want or fear of loss, whatever you call it, but it isn't legitimate feels

and also2, ignore these chodes saying 26 is ancient, people don't get boring as they get older, it is in fact quite the opposite,

>>18061270

>I want deep and interesting guys who have soul, character, etc.
>I look for guys on tinder because that's obviously where to find them.

gg OP.

>>18061275

>and also, don't fool yourself with "serious crushes", more likely these are just over amplified feelings due to not getting what you want or fear of loss, whatever you call it, but it isn't legitimate feels

So what you're saying is that I've never had legitimate feels for anyone? Even if those feelings lasted for years?

>it may just be the case that you haven't found someone with good chemistry yet...
I'm wondering why most people have by my age but not me.

>>18061279
Where else do you want me to look, I can't really get dates in real life.

lol fuck op, dumb basic hoe, nothing to see

>>18061285
Generally speaking, there ought to be a higher concentration of guys that you find interesting and meaningful doing activities that are interesting and meaningful, since it ought to attract that kind of person. So why aren't you doing that instead of trawling Tinder which is basic-bitch and fuck-boy central?

And why can't you get a date in person?

>>18061299
I can become friends with guys but they're not interested in anything more. I've asked some guys out, didn't get anything.

Guys in real life aren't interested in me, but online I can get dates.

>>18061309
>Guys in real life aren't interested in me, but online I can get dates.
This sounds like a line you'd hear being said on those japanese reality shows.

Why? What's your damage? Are you ugly? Fat? Chubby and short? Lazy? Think too highly of yourself? Boring? Do you read any books? Do you have any interests? You're 26 right, have you mastered anything yet besides sucking at dating? Tell us about you.

>>18061281
>Even if those feelings lasted for years?
was it reciprocate, did you really get know that person? did you really get to love that person?
or was it just you churming over thoughts in your head? hollywood got this idea that anxiety feels equals love in everybody heads, but its certainly not that...

I'm thirty, broke up a relationship of 5 years on the last year, haven't found my soul or anything like that, but sure found a lot of people with whom I had chemistry, and I aim to keep having fun and getting to know people while I don't find my soul mate

you can actually get to know people in real life no problem probably better to know if you're both attractive or not,
you can just walk up to someone and say hi of course, it can be a bit hard, but that's whats expected of guys too

you're saying guys don't really feel that much interested in you, so how attractive do you consider yourself?

>>18061323
I do my best with my appearance but I'm not beautiful. I mean I could get surgery, I guess.

I read books, I have interests, I think I'm an irrelevant idiot

I'm a computer programmer.

>>18061331
What about your weight? And lol you're a nerd. What language do you program in? That's what you guys call them right?

>>18061324
>was it reciprocate, did you really get know that person? did you really get to love that person?

It was not reciprocated but I talked to them every day for hours, for years, and loved them.

I felt EXACTLY like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqhQGYwZYB4

I'm not very attractive but I do the best with my appearance and that's all that anyone really can do.

>>18061336
I program in many languages.

I'm 140lbs 5'7.

>>18061209
Holy shit you reek of arrogance

Newsflash, you arent special. The people you fall for probably arent special, except for the fact you fell for them.

And besides, that isnt even the point

Why are you trying to force love with people who arent compatible with you?
You cannot make yourself love someone, sooner or later it will fail.

You need to accept that you fall in love with who fall in love with and you need to wait until your type of guy, the type of guy you find extraordinary, comes along

Perhaps take art classes or classes on an instrument

>>18061182
>I had several serious crushes on guys as a teenager and in my early twenties. However the guys never liked me back.

this is it.

Women dont understand what they are attracted to (and most guys dont either)

You are attracted to strenght, and those guys being able to resist you attracted you to them.

I imagine most of your tinder dates are pursuers - guys that pursue the woman - just like postfeminist popculture told them to and this turns you off.

After all a guys that pursues a woman comunicates that he lacks something, and women want dominant male that doesnt lack anything.

>>18061344
So what can you do with this programming? What do you do?

That's not bad at all. Are you really fit or just flabby?

>>18061347
I'm definitely not special. The guys I fell for definitely were. But there's no way of proving that to you.

>Why are you trying to force love with people who arent compatible with you?

Because it's either that or be alone for the rest of my life.

> you need to wait until your type of guy, the type of guy you find extraordinary, comes along

Those guys are way out of my league. I need to learn how to love the guys who are interested in me.

>Perhaps take art classes or classes on an instrument
I've done that sort of thing already. That's great for making friends, but I can't get dates in real life, only online.

>>18061274
You dont change your brain
I dont know why you think this is possible or even a smart thing to do

Its also incredibly lazy
Rather than become good enough for the people you desire you want to become shitty enough for people you dont desire by lowering your standards

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If this thread was made by a man it would have gotten two replies, both of them calling him a loser

>>18061355
>Rather than become good enough for the people you desire you want to become shitty enough for people you dont desire by lowering your standards

I've done all I can. It's the end of the road. I need to learn how to like the guys who are actually in my league.

>>18061356
Good thing it wasn't then, we can have a conversation now.

>>18061355
>Rather than become good enough for the people you desire you want to become shitty enough for people you dont desire by lowering your standards

'nuff said.

>>18061354
Making friends is a good thing too
A lot of the best relationships are friendships that have evolved into more over time

Being alone for the rest of your life will be better than becoming bitter and depressed because you tied yourself to someone you dont love
It will suck even worse if you settle now in life, only to meet the perfect guy 5 years later

>>18061358
>>18061366
See this

My dubs are of truth

Also I doubt youve done everything you can
No one is even close to perfect

>>18061366
>A lot of the best relationships are friendships that have evolved into more over time

That's never happened for me

I'm not saying I want to tie self down to someone I don't love. I want to know how to love them.

>>18061369
>Also I doubt youve done everything you can

I've done everything I can to make myself physically attractive apart from surgery. And as for my personality and what I can offer I've done the best I can to be interesting and a good companion.

There's nothing more I can do.

>>18061366
That's what I was trying to tell by just hitting up strangers. If OP is so desperate for dick then she should take some unusual actions.

>>18061370
Just because it hasnt happened doesnt mean it cant

>I want to know how to love them.

This is legitimately impossible
The closest you will get is denial and convincing yourself you love them until the illusion wears off later

>>18061374
I'm not desperate for dick, I'm desperate for mutual love and affection.

>>18061375
Why has it happened for almost everyone else by my age but not for me?

>>18061377
I was joking around. But in the it comes to this: How do you wanna feel after a sex session? The feeling of running over all hills until you reach Timbuktu or deep affection? If you force yourself for less, than you won't feel the latter for sure. Don't make compromises before you actually get involved with somebody, only after you know it's worth it.

>>18061384
So basically there's no solution to my problem, I just hope for a miracle.

I feel like killing myself and giving up.

>>18061380
Maybe because you spend so much time infront of a computer. Love is an emotion like every other emotion that needs to be nurtured. You don't nurture emotions in front of a computer, you just perform neural masturbation, keeping you numb but buzzing enough to think you're doing stuff. It's like being asleep for when you're awake where the extent of your emotional stimulation can be summed up by a decided exhale through your nose when seeing something funny.

Change careers, spend time with people.

>>18061388
Also if you're going to kill yourself post your tits before you do it. You're gonna be dead anyway so you're just helping someone out before helping the world out by removing yourself from the equation.

>>18061372
I refuse to believe you're that bad, the problem is either your attitude or you're looking at the wrong places.

>>18061380
It hasnt
Youre on /adv/
Youre surrounded by people older than you who havent had any of the sort happen for them yet

And realize that youre also surrounded by those same type of people who felt the same shit and went through however many years and yet, in the end, love did happen for them

>>18061380
You have to MAKE IT happen, don't wait for it to happen to you.

>>18061397

It doesn't really work that way. Yes you have to try and put yourself in more social situations conducive to meeting new people and yes you have to grasp at opportunities as they pass by but you can't really force a meaningful relationship. It usually blindsides you when you expect it the least.

>>18061388
there's countless single dudes for you to meet and get close to
unless you're completely fucked as a person (and you seem at least okay) there's no reason to just give up when there's so much you haven't tried yet

>>18061388
That's one way to solve your problem.

If it comforts you: because I have no job and qualification I'm not able to move out of my dysfunctional family's home. The endless jobhunt is going on for two years now. And because of all that I'm too labile for a relationship. I wait out, am too on the brink of suicide.

Give your situation more time, 'tis all I can advise you. If you like to read, then why not starting with the novels of Dostoevsky? His works contain in-depth characterizations with a lot of psychologically realistic nuances. They kept me busy for the past year and was able to disconnect from the world around me.

>>18061402
>meaningful relationship
Sure, but those take time to develop, and you need to get together with a man first and go out with him before you make any lasting connect.
In other words, you can't force love but you can force dating. Try it.

>>18061411
>but you can force dating. Try it.

I've been going on dates non stop for 2 years now.

>>18061404
Why can't I seem to get close to any of them? And what haven't I tried yet?

>>18061413
>>18061415
what kind of dudes are you dating?

>>18061418
All sorts, too many to describe. I mean I've gone on at least over a hundred dates.

>>18061331

found your problem. female programmers are all insane.

t. software dev

>>18061415
idfk i'm not you
maybe meeting people in real life instead of Tinder would do you some good

>>18061423
be fair. all programmers are insane

>>18061423
And IT guys aren't? Fuck off, you guys buy those tiny dolls with big heads and proudly display them on your desk. Fucking pedos.

>>18061430
>maybe meeting people in real life instead of Tinder would do you some good


I don't know how to get dates in real life.

>>18061409

Yeah. Go ahead and take advice from this parasite who's so delusional he buys his own bullshit about trying to find a job.

>>18061421

Have you tried going out of your comfort zone and dating someone who is not "your type"? Do you have a type and is it perhaps based on some unrequited love from the past?

>>18061437
I don't have a type, I go for whoever I find who isn't horrifically ugly.

>>18061443

Did you ever meet someone that made you have no reservations? That wouldn't make you hesitate and you would give yourself to with reckless abandonment? If so, did you try your best to get them?

>>18061437
>Yeah. Go ahead and take advice from this parasite who's so delusional he buys his own bullshit about trying to find a job.

who took a shit in ur cereal m8

>>18061453
Yes, and they didn't like me back

>>18061458

I'm sick of people like you shitting up these threads. Boo hoo get a fucking job, it really isn't that hard.

>>18061462

Did they give you a reason? Was it one or multiple? Did you see a pattern? What do you think drove them away?

>>18061467
I just wasn't good enough for them, they never really gave me a reason

>>18061471

But was it a serious relationship or you just talking to them hoping for one?

>>18061463
>Boo hoo get a fucking job, it really isn't that hard.

You could say that about everything (e.g. OPs issue). Getting a job ain't hard, something good, or god forbid mediocre is too much to ask though.

>>18061477
Me just talking to them hoping for one.

What I look for is fairly simple: fun to talk to and be around, reasonably intelligent, and a good person who treats others well.

This is pretty much what I want in a friend. My ideal for a romantic partner is a friend that I have sex with, so just add "attractive enough to want to have sex". My standards for that aren't high.

I don't need a friend to be outstanding in some way, a genius or an amazing success. If they are, I'm happy for them, but what matters to me is what they are to me, not to the rest of the world.

I have a tendency to focus too much on what I'm doing without caring too much about what's going on around me. Part of what I value in someone is that they make me want to engage with them (and the rest of the world) outside of my own stuff.

>>18061479

So would it be fair to point out that the only guys you like are the ones that reject you or don't reciprocate?

>>18061490
I liked them before they rejected me, it wasn't the rejection that made me like them.

>>18061499
Perhaps since you're so old you've had enough time to notice the pattern ahead of time and only go with guys that you know will reject you. Perhaps even self sabotage a little.

>>18061502
This was back when I was a teenager and in my early twenties.

>>18061499

Describe a regular date. How far it gets before things end.

Also, as >>18061502 mentioned it is very possible you are setting yourself up for failure intentionally. Even subconsciously. Because being rejected validates your belief that you are not good enough or worthy of love. Do you have self esteem issues? Are you very shy/have trouble talking to authoritative figures or people you respect?

>>18061511
Most are just a chat over coffee. Sometimes they end in sex. Sometimes they end in me becoming a friend with benefits to them.

Not once have I felt like I wanted them. I always feel disgusted when I have sex with them.

>>18061510
Ah so it was so long ago that you have now mastered the art to the point you do it seamlessly, like the flow of water in a river you don't think, you merely do what you've come to do naturally.

>>18061521
>I always feel disgusted when I have sex with them.

So why do you do it?

>>18061529
Cuz sex feels good. Most pedos feel disgusted after the fact, that doesn't stop them though.

>>18061529
For validation and to see if I can enjoy it, I guess. I've never enjoyed it (although I almost have when I close my eyes and pretend it's one of the guys I've had a crush on)

>>18061547
Oh, I get it now, you're not retarded, you're just lonely.

>>18061547

What do you mean for validation? To see if you're good enough/pretty enough?
You keep mentioning these guys you had crushes on. You are clearly still hung up on them and have not moved on. Probably compare all your dates to them as well to see if they measure up. How long ago was your most recent crush?

>>18061567
> To see if you're good enough/pretty enough?
Yes

>How long ago was your most recent crush?
My last crush was from the age of 20 up until now at the age of 26, although I stopped talking to him years ago

>>18061574

So you're still hung up on a guy from 6 years ago that you don't even talk to. A guy that didn't think you're good enough to date or have sex with.

I know exactly how you feel (just that I'm 21) - and frankly, my solution so far has been to quit searching. So far there've been 2 people with spirit/fire/ambition to them, and I had amazing chemistry with the latter - sadly, because he travels so much for work while I'm still in school, it wasn't meant to be.

People like that are really rare. Don't listen to the advice saying "fake it till you make it" - even if you start caring for the other person instead of dreading them over time, once you meet >that kind of guy< again, you won't give a fuck about the old one anymore and it'll just end up with heartbreak.

At least that's what I've decided for myself. If you're willing to settle, good luck.

>>18061599
Well we talked every day for hours, for years.

No one measures up to him

I think I'll always have feelings for him

>>18061606
Why did it end?

>>18061612
I stopped talking to him a couple of years ago so I could move on from him and find someone who had feelings for me rather than it be one sided

I'm sure we'd be able to go right back to talking every day again, we were best friends

>>18061606

Well there you have it. You don't want to find someone. You want THAT someone. No amount of dates or advice is going to fix that.

>>18061620
What would fix that then?

>>18061619
Let me get this straight.

You were talking with a guy you've had a crush on for 6 years... but /you/ ended it because you didn't feel he loved you as much as you deserved.... so /you/ made a thread complaining how you're not loved... and how the guy /you/ want is not there for you to have... only to then tell us you could pick it back up any day and go right back to talking to him.... but /you/ don't.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

>>18061620

Also, I feel like you just came in here to talk about him and it fucking triggers me like when you start talking to a girl and she can't stop mentioning some ex she's not over. I bet you do it a lot to your dates.

>>18061606
There's your diagnosis of why you can't connect with the guys you date.

>>18061619
I usually tell people to kill themselves as a 4chan thing, my tiny attempt to maintain an old flavour of this place for the new generation. With you though I really mean it. Kill yourself. I mean it from the bottom of my heart, do it in a very painful way too. You've earned it.

>>18061628
He didn't love me, I wanted a romantic relationship with him and he didn't have feelings for me, we were best friends and nothing more than that

I stopped talking to him so I could find a relationship and not be hung up on the fact that I couldn't have him

I could go right back to talking to him but he will never want to be in a relationship with me

>>18061640
>he will never want to be in a relationship with me

And that kills you doesn't it. How can anyone not want you? Look at all these other pathetic men you're using that do.

I bet if that guy accepted to have a romantic relationship with you you'd start losing interest within a month.

>>18061666
How am I using them, I'm not leading them on or anything

I'm perfectly aware of why I wasn't good enough for him.

>>18061756

I don't know. It just seems like you came here to talk about that guy in particular instead of seeking any kind of advice. I guess it's common for people to come in here to vent but then don't try to mask it up as you trying to find a way to emotionally connect with someone when you obviously don't want to do that.

>>18061784
I DO want to emotionally connect with someone, why do you think I stopped talking to my crush? It was so that I could move on from him and find someone who liked me back

>>18061182
I don't even understand how anyone can develop feeling through dating. I would need to know the person at least few months to have any feelings and the same is with others. Modern dating culture doesn't have any options for those who need more time.
Also, some people fall in love by doing something together, like studying or working. Just seeing the person talk is not enough. It absolutely doesn't mean you can't develop feelings if you just are not attracted to guys you just met on official date where people have expectations. You had crushes, it shows you need to know those people more. I recommend to take on hobbies, meet people as friends, hang out, or even become friends with the ones you date and then you know them for a longer time.

>>18061182
Be my depressed gf OP. My current one is too happy to kill herself and she's keeping tethered.

>>18061350
A man pursues a woman

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>woman older than 25
>having any value at all

you should take what you can get op

>>18062222
christmas cake memes get out

As always every thread on 4chan turns into a shitstorm

So OP, if you take any advice at all from this thread take this one:
You obviously haven't let go of your past crush, you said there's been at least a year since you two stopped making contact
just fucking get over it...
if you keep mowing things over and thinking about him, you're not really letting go

I'm >>18061324
and really looks like you had strong feelings with him, and you can't get emotionally connected with anyone else if you don't really let go
honestly I don't get how people feel that way (the video that you linked), of course I've already been friendzoned but I always part off when that happens

You might think that guy was perfect for you, but it just wasn't... perhaps a good friend only,
and thats one of the most valuable things I've learned, and once you just hit it off with someone you will learn it too
but meanwhile while you don't find it, just open up yourself and have some fun

>>18061344
Go to a technology convention. Search local meetups for hacker meets or coder meets, whatever.

I'll give you an example so you get an idea of what happened to me.

I go on OKC, POF, etc, not tinder cuz no fb account. But I try n try and even lower my standards to total bullshit. After years of trying, no sex with anyone. And you wanna know something? In retrospect, I'm ACTUALLY GLAD today.

I avoided going to a noise music show for a year or two, it's a yearly event that lasts 5-6 days. Anyway, IT WAS THERE, where, after all these years, a girl actually managed to sweep me off my feet, and not in any desperate way.. I actually felt warm and compatible...I was smitten with her in every way that I love falling for a woman.. the way she moved when music came on, the way she dressed, how sociable she was, and yet she still preferred her little alone moments. I was blown away by her.. but now, now I gotta wait till next year to see her.

So you see, life is unfair, but now and then, there is a glimmer of hope.

>>18061182

The nu-male epidemic.....

>>18062461
moral of the story.

in a state of desperation you will ALWAYS attract weak links.

you have to depart from apps that provide abundance of options like okc and tinder, ABUNDANCE DEGRADES ENDURANCE. That statement applies to all life..

if I gave a bear free food for life, he may never develop the skills to catch salmon. if I give someone entitlement programs all their life, they may never wanna work. likewise, if you give someone an entire town worth of desperate horny ppl on an app, you will eventually do something weak, just a matter of time.

depart from abundance, keep yourself, and be patient. yes. it's a lot to ask for. but there is reward in being careful.

>>18062485
i wanna add something even funnier to this story.. i actually saw a girl from okc at that show lol

and I didn't say shit to her, I was pretty unattracted to her in person. yet on okc, i was so desperate i jacked off to her photo. in person, i felt like negative attraction to her. so, goes to show.

i mean I don't consider myself better than anybody or no shit like that, but boy was I naturally put off. I would have made a huge mistake had she agreed to meet. because if we HAD fucked, and moved on, we'd have met in the same place where I found myself smitten by the one girl I was crushing on. just imagine what a headache that would have been.

>>18061182
the only way a woman can get feelings for a man is if he is better than her intellectually and she wants to prove her self to him.

>>18062549
this is retarded, everyone, every single person in this world wants to date up, wants to date someone they think is a little bit out of their league
simply because they get used to the people they actually get to be around, so you can get comfortable around them

however, it sure doesn't mean you should only date up, and that you can't get to know and have feels for someone "worse" than you

>>18062222
This, it's practically game ogre for you at 26 already.

Have you tried looking outside of shitty online dating apps? Have you tried meeting people through friends? Maybe I'm just old fashioned but I have a real distaste for dating app bullshit and don't place any faith in it at all.

I'd also be interested to get more details about yourself, OP. What do you bring to the table that would make guys interested? You can't just rely on looks forever.

>>18062222
This is true.

>>18061344
Lose 15-20 pounds. Secondly and on a more minor point, consider dressing better if you don't put much work into it. Then you can get better guys. It matters a lot more than your face. You might think it's shallow, but you're not male-- so you don't know what it's like, and your opinion on it is irrelevant and out of touch. Be what others want if you want to be wanted.

>>18061432
I don't own anything like that. I do own a company. My current gf is a developer also, and a decent number of my friends are female engineers. Overgeneralizing.