For most of my life I've struggled with depression and anxiety,

>>18058037
>>18058037

I had a similar condition anon, being able to get into a great routine only to have my depression collapse on me. The best advice I can honestly give you is to please seek professional help. It will give you the guidance that can't easily be given online, because depression can't be solved in a simple post, rather your thoughts and reactions and patterns will need to be analyzed

Maybe you are trying too hard? Im mostly cured of my anxiety and depression, still not in top form but I am really better. I honestly just take life day by day, yeah when I didnt do a homework I feel shity but I wont destroy all of my happiness cuz of that. Find something you reaply enjoy and do it regulary, for me its insulting my redheadedbastard friend. The best thing to get out of that shit is being with people, even if it hurt ans is stressfull at first. You cant burst in full responsability mode you'll only selfdedtruct.

>>18058046
I see a shrink every 3 weeks it helps but it hasn't been enough. Been seeing him for about a year now and prior to that I had been seeing a counselor. I don't know why but I think I might have a prejudice against what they tell me maybe its because I don't find it real? Idk

>>18058084
I cling to video games since I dumped my weed smoking habits but I have a pretty bad addictive and compulsive personality, I find myself saying "just one game" and it turning into the entire day. I think trying hard is whats gonna get me through this though. My whole life I've been an underachiever, I've never ever tried to do anything

>>18058318

You should be seeing him with higher frequency... as for the prejudice against what they tell you, it makes sense, depression has a tendency to distort reasoning a little. I suggest challenging your shrink to the point where you have to accept what they're suggesting, or just find a new one

>>18058037
1.Weekends are tough for me since I don't have a legitimate schedule, as well as I have high expectations on Friday/Saturday nights to get laid but because I'm a beta skelly I always wallflower parties and never man up enough to talk to girls, so the next day I'm left feeling defeated I guess.

I never got laid at a party in my whole life but never feel down afterwards because I enjoyed myself usually. Talking to new people, joking around with friends, dancing are what I do. You should be social on weekends, that's also what gets you laid or in the best case a good gf in the end. I also never expect to get laid at parties. You should "outsource" getting laid. Like you should hit up chicks at uni/school/work, go on some dates and see what happens. Even there I don't expect them to give me pussy, I just enjoy the ride. If getting laid is super important, install Tinder or go to a hooker. Also, weekenfs are there to recharge your battery. For me that includes a workout, maybe going to the gym sauna afterwards.

2. I procrastinate super hard on things I need to do, whether they're school assignments, chores like cleaning my room, or tasks that come up like renewing my passport. I always procrastinate to the last minute then I end up fucking up and feeling super shitty about it. In this term I've already flopped on 4 assignments and I'm pretty screwed if I don't manage to pass these courses this semester.

I also procastrinate super hard, I'm known for it. But I usually want to prove to myself that I can do it in the end and bite through, so I usually don't fail. I know how fast I can get work doke at uni and calculate the time I need to invest accordingly. It helps to not look away from the things you want to have done. Make a schedule in your mind.

Right now I think the difference between you and me is that I enjoy being with peoole and make plans on things I really need to do.

Cont.

>>18058583
>3.I suffer from insomnia episodically. Sometimes I can get through it and be fine in the mornings, but other days after a solid week of not being able to sleep I kind of just lose my mind. Sometimes I stay up because of existential dread, other times I legitimately just forget how to sleep, and sometimes I just wake up in the middle of the night and am unable to fall back asleep. I take a fuck ton of melatonin but they don't seem to help.

Losing sleep makes you lose interest in interaction with people and can make you very irritable, maybe sad, maybe angry and anxious. It's how a normal persons mind works. Mine too. In times I slept like shit I felt like shit the whole day afterwards. Woke up feeling like I want to throw myself in front of a bus. Mind disconnected from the body, thoughts out of control. Sleep is the most important thing you should change right now. If I had that I feel like I would fail too. Seek help asap.