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I'm turning 26. I work at a prison, but studying as an engineer.

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I'm turning 26.
I work at a prison, but studying as an engineer.
I love math. I love programming.
I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing with my life, and would probably off my self if not caring [spoiler]for my wife[/spoiler] and honestly being pussy as fuck to do it.

I'm also drunk as fuck right now, so not sure what I'm asking.

All I want is a job where I'm not working overnight and get to be home with family, and make enough money to not have to worry about life.

Average reddit shit-tier lowlife. Smart as fuck in math and sciences, zero common sense, zero self-control and zero motivation to succeed in life or for self preservation.

Please help.
You seem to have a decent life from what you posted.

You have a presumably full-time job making more than minimum wage and are actually working at becoming the profession you want.

There are many 25 year olds in worse positions than that.
Well, I cannot argue that position. I am making enough to be drinking a $200 scotch while posting on a fucking $2.5k desktop build that, at worst, I use to play 7 days with my 120lb c-cup gamer/board game loving wife.

I would literally give every penny and aspect of that up to have a job where I got to spend more than 1 day awake, got to sleep regularly and got to challenge myself mentally.

I won't say I'm a genius, but damnit I know I could do more than sit there and take down paperwork onto MS word for a prison 12 hours a day, where the hardest part of my day is keeping the desk fan on since my sergeant hates having the AC running.

It's like first world problems to an ethiopian, but if all there is to life is to keep making 750 a week so I can go to work, sleep and then do nothing because I'm only awake at night, I literally might as well kill myself now because all I am doing is sustaining my existence until the end.
Sorry, I missed the part about working at the profession that I want. Didn't actually read the whole thing.

I literally have no clue what I want to do. I just looked at the course listing and went "Computer Engineer. Math, Science and Programming. That will work."

I have no idea what the fuck that means in context, but I assume that it will eventually mean something.

I just also don't know if I'll make it that far. Since I started working at the prison and doing nothing with my life I put on ~100lbs, started smoking, starting getting drunk at home, and pretty much started hating life in general because I cannot spend time doing anything but work/sleep/school.

Sorry for coming over here and unloading on this place.
Just calm down, fag. You're working to get that job you want, right? Just give it a little more time. In two or three more years, you'll probably be an engineer or whatever the hell it is you want.

You're seriously bitching and moaning and complaining like you're a 40 year old working as a Mcdonalds cashier or something.
I don't know, I guess it's just context you know? My dad is like 40 something working as a walmart manager. My wife is a department manager at walmart almost making as much as I do.

It's just literally so frustrating that I could fuck up so much in my early life and be so far behind now, and there's nothing I can do about it. I really don't feel like this is where I should have been in life at 25, and there isn't anything I can do now.
If you don't wanna smoke, put that on the agenda, don't want to drink, that too. Lose weight. Do it. These sound like things you want to do. You just hadn't quite realised it yet.

Want a 9-5 job with normal sleep, cool. Go figure out how. we call this shit "brainstorming ideas" and it's not a fucking bad way to come up with ideas for what's next.

I would make a list of all the companies you want to work at and try to contact them and see if they have any places for a dude with your brain.
damn nigga, I graduate with my BA in Spanish and I'm working for a non-profit. I fucking hate my boss and I get paid shit too. Been trying to break into public admin sector but there's no entry level positions here in California

I'd trade shoes with you easily, I have the motivation, common sense, self-control but lack math and science part. Also not married which is nice.
Damn. If I can like buying you a game or a tip or something, please let me know.

I honestly haven't been smoking, except for people at work giving me cigarettes. It's hard when you're there for 12 hours with nothing to do for 10.

I want to ask because what you're saying makes sense right now. And I'm printing this shit out so I can read it tomorrow.

What do I do about being a lazy fuck with zero self-discipline. It's the most painful thing about my day, and probably what motivated this post.

I will literally be sitting here at night, alone because she's asleep. I know I should be doing something to make my life better, but I have no idea what it is.

Again, I'm not sure what I'm asking here. I've gotten like 4 drinks since posting this. I just never got raised to do even simple shit. I don't brush my teeth every day, I can even take a shower every day.

Ever day I go to school, I walk by this poster, It almost hurts. Not exactly, obv can't remember it right now. Never mind, google.

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; u2nrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

It doesn't matter that I can literally teach you how to derivative in 5 seconds. It doesn't matter that I've finished like 10 levels of foobar and shit. If I cannot motivate myself to actually do anything, nobody gives a fuck what I know.

If you are the worker, you are the value to this world. Do something with it.

Someone who is not educated can grow smarter by the second. Someone who is not motivated cannot change their habits without weeks, sometimes months.

[spoiler]I know that because I'm fucking smart, but lazy as fuck and can't apply it. Great example.[/spoiler]
>Damn. If I can like buying you a game or a tip or something, please let me know.

just like. Change the world for the better or something. be a do-er not a talker. If you want some external accountability email me at this throwaway: [email protected]

>People at work giving me cigarettes. It's hard when you're there for 12 hours with nothing to do for 10.

yea it's hard. It's fucking hard to deal with. Start telling people you should all quit. try to find some community (the people around you) support. that helps. It's fucking hard with nothing to do. Consider reading e-books, with text-to-speech.

>What do I do about being a lazy fuck with zero self-discipline. It's the most painful thing about my day, and probably what motivated this post.

ya cool. So like, discipline is bullshit. What you want to do is to make it so easy to do the right thing that it's harder to do the wrong thing. example: not carrying a lighter means less smoking. Having healthy food around means eating less crap food just because it's easier to eat that. Set yourself up for the future. Every time you do a bad thing, think "how do I make it easier for me to do better tomorrow". Just little things like putting the chocolate further away or telling people you are working on it so they fucking hold you to your goals. every little nudge counts.

If there is one thing I would suggest it's to have a review day. Every Sunday night or once a month, sit down and think, "how did I go with these things. Am I drinking less, smoking less, etc. Okay what will I try this time. What worked? What didn't? Keep having a review and you will keep resetting.

all diets work SO LONG AS YOU STICK TO THEM. But everyone fails. You just need to try again. No use setting new years resolutions if you wait a year before you check if you did it. Check up regularly (weekly, monthly etc.)
Email sent. I appreciate it, but I really don't know how that works for me.

I don't bring a lighter, but everyone at work lets me light up with theirs. I even told people I had quit all day last shift, but they really don't care. It's a depressing place to be for all of us, regardless of what uniform we're forced to wear.

As far as food, I really don't bring much to eat. Just a lot of water, a few energy drinks (which I haven't had any in days) and that's about it.

I just have trouble cooking food because 1, I'm not awake long enough to cook even though I love to. 2, I have no method of refrigerating food at my post. So even if I wanted to keep healthier food, I am genuinelly worried about eating it 6 hours later sitting at room temperature. If there is food that you can tell me does not care sitting that long, I would appreciate it.

As far as the drinking thing, this is a recent thing. I just don't know what to do with myself at home. I used to smoke and play games. Now I don't smoke, I get bored as fuck playing games, and I just don't know what to do with my time. I used to just sit and watch television but now I only have mobile internet and so I just browse internet and somehow I'm here.

Thank you again.
- John
I don't bring a lighter, but everyone at work lets me light up with theirs. I even told people I had quit all day last shift, but they really don't care.

Yes, this is what happens, ask people to hold you accountable to it. tell them you will give them a dollar if they can convince you to have a smoke. Then actually do it. Get them working for you, not against you.

>I have no method of refrigerating food at my post.
There are little lunch boxes out of styrofoam that you can put an ice pack in. It won't last forever but it helps. fruit - like an orange, will keep. Cold vegetable soup like minestrone - you can take it in frozen, and it should be aight by the time you eat it.

If you are in the mood for list making; these things are called "bugs"

bugs list looks like this:
"people offer me smokes"
"I can't keep food cold at work"
"not awake enough to cook"
"my hobbies are unhealthy things and I want better ones"

Read the list every day. Think about how to solve these problems. Shower-thoughts really hit you over the head sometimes, with "oh! why don't I just fucking cook in batches and freeze stuff", "why don't I go for a walk in my spare time and find a park to exercise in".
That's actually more interesting. I really like that idea of having to pay someone who can convince me to smoke.

At first, it would be a way for me to smoke without bringing them in myself, but eventually it would be a a financial pain, somewhere I'm currently having trouble with.

Again, prison. Can't bring in any styrofoam containers. Everything is see-through plasting or sealed containers. Not your problem I know, just pointing out excuses I get away with.
Can you bring in ice/frozen food?

Can you talk to supervisors about the problem. No one gives a fuck about your welfare but at the same time someone aught to notice and be willing to help their goddamn workers lead a reasonable lifestyle.
Iced/Frozen? Yes.

Again, prison. Literal state prison.

Nobody gives a fuck about letting the officers lead a healthy lifestyle. Nobody gives a fuck about us having any sort of reasonable staffing levels or competency.

As long as they have someone to put their name in a slot on the roster, who gives a flying fuck.

To answer the useful questions, frozen/iced foods yes. Canned foods no.

Cost doesn't matter. Shitty microwave also yes.
I also want to highlight something you noticed just then.

>excuses I get away with.

On two fronts:

1. yes, some excuses are valid, you can't take styrofoam in, that's shit. we have to learn to live with these things

2. this is a "make excuses" attitude. Guys like us love to find solutions not to find problems. Treat these problems as things that you need to solve, not things that you are stuck with. Take on an attitude of "okay now how do I solve that" If you keep that attitude up, you could show up the best of Elon Musk.

No way to keep food fresh at work, now how do I solve that? I dunno. I am just some chananon. you tell me how to solve that, then keep that attitude up.
Cool story bro. I just finished a $400 bottle of wine, I have a $5000 computer, and my current girlfriend is a 104-pound cybersecurity researcher. But I have friends who own mid-sized companies -- there's always someone better. Quit bragging on the Internet.
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>not exhausting all the frustration on prisoners
Well if that stuff means "being better" to you. You Americans make me sad. To you it's all about competition. Spread some love instead and stop thinking about what other people might or might not be doing.
I graduated high school with a 4.0 and happened to get a full ride scholarship for electrical engineering. I threw it all away for drugs and alcohol and basically became a complete sack of shit. I stopped going to class and started working as a dish washer for Olive garden and then moved on to doing drywall/flooring. You wanna talk about depression? Eventually I had enough and joined the Army. Like a fucking idiot I picked an MOS that had no civilian related skills and did 5 years as an airborne infantryman. After breaking my back from a parachute malfunction I was discharged...26 years old, medically disabled, zero skills, and 3 kids and a wife to support. I didn't get down about it tho. I pulled my shit together and got my A&P and my avionics certification over three years. Now I build jet engines and make around 80 grand a year. What I'm getting at is it's not how much you fuck up, but it's how much you learn from ur mistakes and get the fuck back up. Things can always, ALWAYS, be shittier. Sometimes you just gotta change ur point of view and stay persistent.
Why did you feel the need to mention your girlfriend's weight down the pound? Why is that important or interesting?
I'm 36 and never been to college
I can get financial aid and get a bachelor's but I feel like I've been out of it for so long and I just need more sleep these days, feeling old af
Afraid of my future, kind of want to kms desu
Thread posts: 22
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