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How do I get over my ex? It's been less than a month and

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How do I get over my ex? It's been less than a month and i'm still crying every day and i'm not normally a cryer. It's worst at night time and in the morning when i'm alone with my thoughts and failures. I got extremely emotional and almost crashed my car because I was overcome with emotion and just floored it for a good 10 seconds while screaming.
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>>18053959
Not an answer but real talk right now: These posts scare the shit out of me, I've been with my gf since I was 16 and I have no idea what I would do without her. Seeing you guys like this paralyzes me with fear, knowing I'd be useless in trying cope with losing her
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>>18053959
It's a slow burn, but the embers will die and the pain will stop. Time has a strange way of healing, but heal it does. The short term solution is to acknowledge the thoughts when the come up, experience them, then consciously release them, let them go, and get lost in something. Read a book, watch a TV show you've never seen before. It'll help.
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>>18053965
I'm a pretty rational, easy going guy and could not even imagine it would hit me this hard. I pray you never have to feel this anon. I've felt physical pain that was so bad they had to give me morphine and I wished for death. This hurts more. There is no morphine for this.

Probably not the best time to watch 500 Days of Summer.
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>>18053959
That's really rough anon. I too have been having an agonizing time missing my ex. I go numb sometimes for days or I'll be so sad/angry I can't focus right. It's really bad at night for me too. I've started doing these mindfulness exercises. I know it sounds stupid but they've really been helping me to calm down and not punch things or cry uncontrollably and unexpectedly. It might be worth a shot for you to try to.
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>>18053959
Honestly just do heaps of cool shit. It doesnt matter if it's "cool" as long as you think it's cool. You'll meet people involved with it, who odds are will have cool interests.

Basically take the maybe out of "Maybe I should do this"
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>>18053976
I can't focus on them. Do you have any recommendations? I've been wanting to get into Warhammer lore for a while.
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>>18053984
Do it dude, get into Warhammer lore. Fucking look that shit up right now. Ex's come and go, Warhammer is forever
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>>18053982
How long has it been? Do you have a link to the mindfulness exercises? I'm glad you found something that helps.

>>18053983
That's good advice. Theres just not much I think is cool, now that you've got me thinking about it i'm pretty boring. What are some things you think are cool?
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>>18053996
It's so massive. I don't know where to start.
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>>18053997
Yeah here's a link giving some ideas on how to get started:
http://youth.anxietybc.com/mindfulness-exercises

Personally, when I'm doing it, I just focus on my breathing deeply in and out and if any negative thoughts creep in to my mind I mentally place them on leaves and watch them float down a river and out of sight. I feel really calm and focused afterwards. I've been doing it for about ten minutes a day. I hope to gradually increase it to at least an hour in the future.

And here's a link talking about how these exercises have scientifically been proven to help reshape your brain into healthier responses and whatnot:

http://www.mindful.org/how-the-brain-changes-when-you-meditate/
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>>18053982
Just wanted to chime, mindfulness is fantastic. mindfulness exercises helped me through some rough times when I was young and that led me to a book recommendation which led me to zen meditation. I'm 28 years old now and I still love to meditate at least every other day, if not daily.

Learning to be mindful and aware of one's thoughts and thought patterns as they are happening is a very useful practice for all kinds of crazy shit life throws at you.
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>>18054060
I'm not op but that's really cool to hear man that you've really benefited from mindfulness. It's encouraging. Makes me want to keep practicing it 2bh. What was the book called that you read?
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>>18054060
>>18054021
Thank you, I took a read and it seems like good advice that can really help. I've always had intrusive thoughts I couldn't control.
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>>18054089
I'm really glad it might help you. I've been doing the whole exercise thing, distract myself with movies and hobbies thing, and journaling thing to get my mind off of it but, you know, none of it seemed to help as much as this mindfulness stuff. Just today I was waiting for public transit and I was so angry I was punching the advertisement board and crying (wth?!) and I sat on the bus when it finally came and just closed my eyes and focused on breathing and the sound of the rain hitting the roof of the bus and I felt so much better once I reached my destination. I felt calm and focused and even somewhat refreshed, like I'd just taken a nap or something.
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>>18054104
Journaling has been a big help. I've been using mine on and off for a few years. When I go through emotional periods I use it a lot but when that dies down it gets ignored.

What mad you so angry today?
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>>18054125
I agree with you. I've journaled since I was really young and it used to help me a lot. I too used to journal heavily in bad times and then put it down for a bit.
I've been diagnosed with MDD and I was angry at myself for not being able to enjoy things. I felt myself slipping out of feeling and into the numbness and I didn't want that. Usually when I go numb, the last of my emotions to go is my anger. All of my memories from my ex and all of the things I thought I should've said better to my friends today kept shouting at me in my head and I couldn't shut them up. It pissed me off.
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>>18054132
Have you ever read posts from when you were young? What were they like?

That sounds horrible anon, i'm sorry to hear that. I'm the opposite, I very rarely get angry. Are you working on finding a new girl?
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>>18054137
Posts? You mean entries?

That's cool you don't feel so angry all the time. I'm not really working on finding anybody new. I don't want to honestly. They were so unique. I really do believe I found my equal. I'm just focusing now on trying to get myself in a better place mentally, where I can manage and regulate myself in a healthier way, you know?
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>>18054145
Yeah enteries. I rerad my past ones somtimes and they remind of me of some of the happy times and the sad times don't seem so bad.

I'm in the same boat. Don't want anyone new. What are some other self improvement things you're doing?

Also i'm watching 500 days of Summer. Check it out, it's making me cry but it'm also enjoying it.
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>>18053997
Sorry man been busy. If you're still here I think loads of stuff are cool really, I went through a horrific breakup a few years ago and just cut loose at raves which led me to meet heaps of likeminded people.

Nowadays I'm not in it as much but honestly as a general rule if someone asks if you wanna do something just do it, or if you see a class that looks interesting to take do it.

Honestly if you actually like the company you're with anything is better than moping around the house.
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>>18053959
I'm in a pretty similar place anon. He dumped me about a month ago and while I no longer think about him constantly, late at night or early in the morning the memories and feelings will come back and I start crying. The two things that helped me the most were

>no contact
He's actually a co-worker so I can't avoid him completely but not seeing what he's been up to on social media has helped

>going out and doing things
This one's also hard because I'm a natural introvert, but just having something to distract you will help. I've actually just found going to a place where you're surrounded by people (like a coffee shop or library) and doing your own thing can be nice if you don't want to expend social energy

I've also been regularly talking to a therapist since way before the relationship has ended and just having someone to dump your feelings on has helped a lot as well
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>>18054151
Ah. Yeah I used to do that, reread them. I made a mistake in trashing all of my journals though just before I attempted suicide. I was trying to make sure most of the stuff I'd kept private over the years wouldn't be found by anyone.

Other self-improvement stuff: lifting weights again; pursuing honours in my major in order to get in to a PsyD doctorate program; practicing charcoal sketches of people in motion; being more open with my friends and family(they know everything and I'm freer because of that, plus they're really supportive and gently remind me about my meds) and actually making myself eat home cooked meals. What about you?

I've never heard of that movie. I'll check it out, thanks for the recommendation. I recently finished watching American Ultra and laughed my pants off 90% of the movie.
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>>18054166
Thanks for the advice. You're right but it's so hard to yes when you feel like garbage and just want to lay in bed all day crying.

>>18054167
That sounds absolutely brutal. How do you handle seeing him everyday at work?

That sounds like a good idea, going to a coffee shop where there are people around. Thank you, i'll try that. I'm also an introvert so it's hard for me too.

I'm too pussy to get a therapist and accept that I need one. Maybe another time.

>>18054169
That sounds awful. You've lived a hard life, haven't you.

I'm doing the opening up to friends thing as well. It's nice and freeing but I worry i'm bugging them too much. I went to the gym before, i'm still going but focusing a little more on increasing the weights. Not sure what else I want to do know but I think i'm going to join a squash club. Going to hang out with my friends more. Also geting back into drawing would be nice but i'm not sure I have the patience now.

American Ultra eh? I'll add it to my list. Isn't that the one with Cara devagline or whatever her name it.
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>>18054210
It was awful. I've lived with this gnawing sense of dark sadness for over ten years, since I was really young but was ashamed to ever tell anybody. I've always been the one who listens to others and does what I can to help when I can. And indeed, there've been quite a few things I wish had never happened to me. People can be cruel and manipulative.

I understand what you mean about worrying you're bugging your friends. I used to constantly worry about that and now, I don't worry as much. Maybe one day, I won't worry at all. Increasing the weights? That's cool. I was bummed to find after not having worked out since last summer, I basically have to start over again. Joining a squash club sounds good. It'd give you a chance to meet new people and have some fun, eh?

And American ultra has Jason Eisenburg and Kristen Stewart in it.
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>>18054234
I have to sign off anon, I wish you well and thank you for the company. I've enjoyed chatting with you.
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>>18054246
Have a good night. Same to you. You helped me a lot so thank you very much. I hope you get over things and succeed in life.
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>>18054210
Look man at one point you'll hit the saddest you can possibly go and realise life is better with human connection,and the only way to dig yourself out of being sad is with a decent amount of effort.
Thread posts: 28
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