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I woke up today feeling like I'll fix my life. Any and all

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I woke up today feeling like I'll fix my life. Any and all advice is greatly appreciated. Here's my stats:

>I'm getting fat
>I'm below average looks wise
>I'm slightly below average height
>I procastinate too much with my educational assignments
>I still live with parents at 22
>I fail to find a job
>I feel different from others on a fundamental level in a negative way which makes me feel reserved
>I feel like that when I have nothing to say I should say nothing
>I feel like I have nothing to give or I bring nothing interesting to the table
>I have no special interests or hobbies
>I'm boring
>I feel like that I'm walking uphill laced with black ice
>I sometimes come home from a bar to cry for some time in a bout of self pity
>I feel like I'm being left behind and the "late bloomer" will never happen
>I very rarely talk about my feelings because my friends are used to seeing me as the problem solver and not like the massive problem I am
>I compare myself to others constantly which makes me envious and angry (sometimes)
>I have no cool stories to tell
>I am anxious
>I have panic attacks
>I was in the army and had objectively better outlook on life but feel like the life of civilians is too hard but didn't realize it until way later so now I blame myself for not becoming a career soldier
>I remember all the times I've been slighted and the times I suspect I have been slighted and it makes me feel like a naive fool
>My friends blame me of cold cynicism
>I feel like my problems are not significant enough to bother my best friend with

Okay, I guess I'll list my positives too:
>I'm a quick thinker
>I can focus all my concentration to one thing once task is ongoing
>I'm somewhat witty
>I keep my promises (except the ones made to myself)
>I'm on time if me being late has the possibility of hurting someone else than me so I never procastinate in group work or miss a date
>I'm good at introspection
>I have a lot of empathy
>I'm honest
>I'm clever
>I'm a good listener
cont.
>>
Sounds like you're introverted and depressed.
You look inside yourself a lot but don't like what you find.
Pretty much agree with you on just about everything.
I don't have the answers but what im doing is saying fuck it and traveling overseas to japan.
Going for 4 months and trying to live there afterwards. Maybe all you need is just a different environment and a change of pace
>>
all you need is a job and to be less self absorbed.
>>
Vast majority of your problems can be condensed into "I have little to no confidence or self worth"
So that's one thing you should work on. Your list of positives should not be shorter than your negatives. You have the drive to fix yourself, which is great. Thats the first step. You want to start liking yourself a bit more. Seek therapy if you can, this is the kind of shit that really can't be done on your own.

I'd focus on that and getting yourself settled independently first.
Finish school, get a job, move out. Those should be your priority. You want to be financially stable on your own.

Do those things, be financially independent and gain confidence, and your life will 180. I promise.
>>
>>18053649
positives cont.
>I know a great deal of various dumb things
>I can read others' emotions well
>I'm generally altruistic
>I do good things because they make me feel good, not because I expect get my dick sucked for keeping a door open
>I can be a good conversationalist if I know something about the person I'm having a conversation with

That's about it I guess
>>
>>18053670
>You want to start liking yourself a bit more.
I agree, but I have these episodes where I feel like I have high self-worth and then it turns around the next day and I remember all my flaws again which makes me feel bad.

Thank you for your advice, I appreciate it. Writing this out was hard because I'm not used to complaining.
>>
I think you like yourself wayyyyy to much. I'm more successful than you and while I bet I could make multiple posts about how misunderstood but wonderful I am
1.I would never do so.
2.I'm not 100% sure I could
3.my list would omit universal human characteristics
>I can focus all my concentration to one thing once task is ongoing
>I have a lot of empathy
>I know a great deal of various dumb things
>I'm generally altruistic
4.my list would not include obvious lies
>I'm clever
>I keep my promises
5. my list also wouldn't feature weird nonsese phrases
>I'm on time if me being late has the possibility of hurting someone else than me so I never procastinate in group work or miss a date
>I'm good at introspection
6. fuck you
>>
>>18053713
>4.my list would not include obvious lies
Are you implying things that were said to me as a compliment were lowkey insults?
>>
>>18053713
If you're already scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to positives, you might as well list the baseline human qualities.

t. Been there, done that.
>>
>>18053718
>Are you implying things that were said to me as a compliment were lowkey insults?
no, if I had to guess I'd say insincere bullshit meant to comfort you
>>
>>18053740
I see.
>>
>>18053713
I gotta ask, would you have preferred a post with negatives only? Also why are you railing on some guy who wants to fix his life?
>>
>>18053757
>I gotta ask, would you have preferred a post with negatives only?
yeah, nobody needs advice to overcome their positive traits.
>Also why are you railing on some guy who wants to fix his life?
to counter the piss poor advice he was given.
>>
>>18053713
>I'm more successful than you
OP here again. I know that most, probably 95% of people are more successful than I am, in probably all areas of life. I also don't like myself. I hate myself. because I often find myself daydreaming about my ideal self doing all the things I am not doing.

>>18053778
I listed the things I thought of my positives so that /adv/isors could get some more info on me and my situation. I realize my mistake now, sorry.
>>
>>18053649
Don't expect meaningful change to happen overnight. Don't even expect it in a fortnight. If you're 22, you've had at least 8 years of reasonable autonomy to get yourself into the bad habits you're in now, so it's gonna take a lot of effort to get out of it. With that being said, don't be too hard on yourself if your life doesn't near-automatically get better. In fact, you should be prepared for it to get way worse before it gets better.

Just take life one day at a time. Having long term goals is good, but your main focus should be on doing what you can today to make yourself a better person.

Don't aim to be a being, aim to be a becoming.
>>
>>18053649
After reading all that my little piece of advice is quit comparing yourself to others and nitpicking yourself and knocking yourself down so many pegs. Fuck it you are what you are. It's not a race and there is no objective, just exist and have the best life you can.
>>
>I feel like I'm being left behind and the "late bloomer" will never happen

my fucking sides, ain't shit that's gonna bloom by itself

also, why give a shit about where others are with their lives? do you have a plan? make a plan, keep it simple.
>>
>>18053790
Don't apologize to that motherfucker. Piss on him and his brooding, bitter, hateful ass.
>>
>>18053814
>also, why give a shit about where others are with their lives?
I know I shouldn't. I think it's some kind of reaction borne out of the fact that I consider myself as a failure. It just feels bad knowing others are so much more "ahead" in normal things that I should've accomplished by now.
>>
>>18053792
>your main focus should be on doing what you can today to make yourself a better person.

I decided to go to the students' nurse today to discuss my problems, which for some reason makes me feel nervous as fuck.

Do you think it's a good idea to write a checklist what I want to accomplish each day to realize my long term goals?
>>
>>18053901
fuck no. Checklists are about as useful as new years resolutions. Pick just one thing, focus on it day and night. You'll burn out but at least you'll have accomplished something. Take a breather and try again later.
>>
>>18053945
Okay, thank you.
>>
>>18053832
>I think it's some kind of reaction borne out of the fact that I consider myself as a failure
i disagree insomuch as based on everything you said, i think you feel YOU DESERVE more bc you have certain capacities that you never fullfilled, well fuck the person you could of been is far gone now. you will never be able to "catch up" to that version of you who did everything right 24/7 365. but thats okay just accept where you are is the new baseline, and start improving one thing at a time.
>right a schedule and live and die by that schedule im talking hourly bullshit like "make bed, bathroom, hygiene/ready for the day then etc etc etc
this will feel redundent and embarressing but will force you feel that you can accomplish more thats when you add more to the schedule

when you are being proficient with taking care of yourself you will naturally start to develope goals and ideas again

i think the issues you described stem from feeling "unaccomplished" you need to get shit done everyday that leaves you feeling like you "are doing it/apart of it" or makes you feel like you didnt do enough and plan to do that much more the next day

get moving anon, you can do it
>>
>>18053974
>i think the issues you described stem from feeling "unaccomplished" you need to get shit done everyday that leaves you feeling like you "are doing it/apart of it" or makes you feel like you didnt do enough and plan to do that much more the next day

You honestly might be right, that's probably the reason why I enjoyed being in the army. At worst I did stuff around the clock and at best 14 hours a day.
>>
>>18053649
>>I feel different from others on a fundamental level in a negative way which makes me feel reserved
I just wanted to say that I felt exactly the same way at your age. You have to challenge yourself to really question how likely this is. That you're so different from everyone and you don't deserve the same things as others because of that.

You have to really challenge yourself to think realistically about how likely it is that that could possibly be true. Unless you did something atrocious like rape someone or let someone die when you could have saved them, odds are it isn't. Try as hard as you can to remain hopeful, and you will find the balance you're seeking. You'll learn to.
>>
>>18054001
I have tried to logically reason to myself that it can't possibly be true, but I just can't shake the feeling, especially in places where strangers mingle, like in bars and other social gatherings and the feeling of being different than others really gets in the way of my confidence. It doesn't help that I keep comparing my own accomplishments to others', which kicks the "feeling different" into 6th gear since I haven't even moved out even though I should have long ago.

Thanks for you kind words, I'll try to, no I'll take them to heart, especially the hope bit.
>>
>>18053792
>In fact, you should be prepared for it to get way worse before it gets better.
I forgot to say to you that I very much prefer adversity over this stasis of not knowing what to do with myself I've been living in since I was 20 when I finished my conscription.
>>
Took my first step on the road and got an appointment to a psychologist.

I'll let this be my last post and thank everyone who gave me advice. I appreciate it.
>>
>>18054277
NO thats wrong op. This is only the first post. Life is a fucking long ride. You cant see this a a beginning or end, just as a blip in your life that forces you to move forward. Dont be a faggot OP. Your stats or qualities mean nothing to anyone. All that matters is what you do. So if you want to change, you have to do things. You have to move forward.
>>
>>18054288
I meant my last post as worried and anxious guy who can't get things done like he used to and my first post as someone who is trying to fix that.
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