I've just turned 22. But I swear I still feel 15. Even my

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I've just turned 22. But I swear I still feel 15. Even my little sister seems more mature then me now. I feel so powerless and not ready for being an adult. I have no real life experiences. I've wasted my youth and I feel like it's too late to do so many things now. I don't have stupid teenage experiences, no close friends,didn't improve my talents, not a great student, can't carry a convo and it's too late to catch up on all these stuff, now I'm expected to become independent and ready for adult life. It's too late to achieve my childhood goals, and it's pointless to live to be stuck in a job that I don't love, in a country that I hate and no friends to share my emotions with.

Only thing that gives me peace is knowing that I can kill myself if things get too shitty. I want a purpose to live, I don't wanna be just another dude who lived a pointless life and died.