I'm sure this kind of thing gets posted a lot here, but

What did she do

>>18051291
Said she wanted to kill herself, and wouldn't tell anyone where she was. She recently started a round of antidepressants, has been struggling with depression for years, and I was scared shitless. I think I did the right thing, but god damn if I don't feel like shit for it. She buys into the stigma of depression being a burden on your loved ones and refuses to seek help. I just slapped her trust in the face by alerting several of her close friends and family.

>>18051309
I think you did the right thing, because I did the same.
I woke up with the intention of killing myself and disappeared into the woods with some rope. I sent some abusive texts and got caught.
SO slapped me across the face but didn't tell my family or pushed it with doctors.
Getting help rather than being laughed at by the local crisis team is much more desiresble and she will love you in the long term.

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>>18051267

Holy fucking shit that image makes me so angry.

>I'm sure this kind of thing gets posted a lot here
You'd be surprised.

>I just had to get mental help for my girlfriend
I'm sorry OP. I bet a lot of things are going through your head right now. Take a deep breath.

>She's in 72 hour psychiatric hold
She most likely does not have access to any electronics. Give her 24 hours in the hold and call the hospital to check in on her. If she doesn't want to take the call, it is ok. Just CALL, LISTEN, say you Love her. This conversation might hurt you, but leaving her there will probably deepen her feelings of neglect/abandonment/"He put me here because he doesn't want to deal with me anymore".

>and I'm not okay
Fortunately and unfortunately this is not about you. She might hate you, but my guess is that she hates herself more and could be projecting. She's scared. She might lash out.

>I'm sure she hates me
Let her hate you for the next 72 hours instead of never feeling anything at all ever again. If she's mentally ill her thinking is distorted right now. The best thing you can do for her is to stay by her side.

Have what I would say, maybe it would help:
>"I want to know how you are feeling, and whatever that feeling is I accept it fully and I accept you fully, which is why I can't lose you. I love you. I want you to be healthy and happy. I'm scared, deeply scared: I cannot lose you. Not only me, but your family, your friends, (your pet name here?) cannot lose you. You are too valuable."
The most important part is the last sentence: let her know she's worthwhile. Keep reminding her.

Then listen. Just listen. Take notes. Don't try to argue. Again if she was admitted they determined that she was a risk to herself or others. She is having distorted ways of thinking.
Then:
>"I'm here for you. Call me any time."

You did the right thing OP. It's ok to be scared, it's ok to have doubts, but you did the right thing even if you can't see it now.

Thanks. She's pushed me to get help before. I couldn't let that be repaid by sitting by. Thanks for listening to me vent at whatever ungodly hour in the morning it is in your respective time zones.

Telling someone that you want to kill yourself is a cry for help. Still, you really overreacted. First thing you should've done is talked to her about her depression and help work through it. Was she making plans to kill herself already? Was she giving away personal belongings? Not every cry for help necessitates calling the authorities and telling the whole world about their personal problems.

Frankly, if someone did something like that to me I would never forgive them. But then again, I cannot self-terminate.

>I was scared shitless
>I've lost 4 people in the past year to suicide
Well, if she does hate you, you can at least explain why you freaked out.

>>18051330
This isn't the first time she's said it. This is the first time she's ran off and refused to tell anyone where she was because she didn't want anyone helping her. She had started seeing a therapist, but with recently starting antidepressants this was a huge warning sign. That adjustment period is extremely dangerous.

>>18051321
Jesus fucking christ, man.
>"I want to know how you are feeling, and whatever that feeling is I accept it fully and I accept you fully, which is why I can't lose you. I love you. I want you to be healthy and happy. I'm scared, deeply scared: I cannot lose you. Not only me, but your family, your friends, (your pet name here?) cannot lose you. You are too valuable."
>The most important part is the last sentence: let her know she's worthwhile. Keep reminding her.

Is that what we do, just coddle everyone who feels depressed? Not everyone has to be happy all the time. Not everyone is healthy or "worthwhile". That's no reason to kill yourself.

>>18051326

No worries OP.

>She's pushed me to get help before. I couldn't let that be repaid by sitting by.
It's important to recognize your own potentially distorted thoughts and feelings. Yes, she is having a difficult time, and I know I said that this isn't about you, but the way you feel right now IS about you. This must be addressed.
>She must hate me
Is there evidence for this?
And Evidence, NOT anxieties or worries or thoughts. The only real evidence would be if she told you that she hates you, and even then...
Is she in a proper state of mind to be in complete, wise mind control of her emotions/actions? (the answer to this one is no)
She pushed you to get help, why would she hate you for doing the same for her?
Would you hate her for doing the same to you?

Ask yourself as many questions about the thought as you can: question against this negative self talk. At the very least you need to stop thinking that. You don't know if she hates you, and the unknown can be terribly frightening, so work out logically what you can and try to get some rest.

>>18051341
Well, she called me an asshole a few times. I know that what she thinks of me isn't relevant compared to her well-being. These thoughts didn't really set in until she got into the hospital. Military's conditioned a crisis response in me that mostly shuts out my feelings until the crisis is over, or there's a break in it. All I can really do right now is wait and see what comes of this, and keep doing what I can to keep her getting care and seeing a therapist, building a support network, etc.

>>18051334
>just coddle everyone who feels depressed
No: but you can't hope to reason with someone who's been deemed a threat to themselves and are in a 72 hour hold. You can't just tell someone to "get better". Coddling is not the same as compassion. Coddling is not the same as support. It is the opposite: Real, true, long-term recovery takes WORK and TIME. It's frustrating as hell.

Coddling is saying that everything is ok, coddling is telling someone that their ways of thinking are okay when they want to kill themselves. Coddling is enabling destructive behavior, the opposite of what OP has done.

>Not everyone is healthy
Truth
>or "worthwhile"
False
>That's no reason to kill yourself.
Suicidal persons have reasons, but the reasons they have are distorted ways of patterns and thinking that have been developed over many, many years. Your way of thinking is NOT how people with mental illness think. It may not seem rational to you, but it absolutely is to them: recovery is trying to undo years and years of this type of thinking.

>>18051352
>I know that what she thinks of me isn't relevant compared to her well-being
Your emotional well being is also a concern, even if it's not relevant to her own current well-being it is relevant to yours. She is under a 72 hour psych ward: for the next 3 days she is going to be under super vision. Use this time to process your own feelings as well.

>Military's conditioned a crisis response in me that mostly shuts out my feelings until the crisis is over
The crisis is over. She is safe for now. There will be more crisises in the future, so allow yourself to feel things now. You need to process these feelings now so you don't slip back into unhealthy patterns of thinking. The best way to be a good support is to support yourself too.
Remember those airline safety tip messages? Secure the oxygen mask over your own face before helping others.

>All I can really do right now is wait and see what comes of this, and keep doing what I can to keep her getting care and seeing a therapist, building a support network, etc.
You're a good person OP. I believe in you.

>>18051359
lol
>Depression is a mental illness!
Well, that sure explains the rest of the bullshit you said.

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>>18051367

>implying OPs gf wasn't hospitalized for a schizophrenic/manic/etc episode
>not thinking depression is a mental illness

The 1800s called they want your outdated thinking back

>>18051267
desu I would hate you too, being forced to a mental ward was one of the worst experiences I EVER had.
And it made me refuse any kind of "professional" help for rest of my life.

Maybe you did the right thing, maybe not. Life goes on. But I would recomend keeping a VERY close eye on her. Its not easy to get out of a mental ward after you get in.

>>18051359
Truth.

>>18051267
>I've lost 4 people in the past year to suicide and I'm not losing the one I care about most.

So you surround yourself with mentally weak people, including your significant other? Sounds like you reap what you sow.

If she chooses to kill herself it's her own volition. Chances are you could never help her, she has her own problems. But if you insist on staying with someone so weak, you should expect this kind of bullshit to happen on a fairly regular basis.

>>18051550
Being depressed and suicidal isn't weak. Those of us who've dealt with our darkness and continue to do so on a daily basis are stronger than you'll ever understand.

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>>18051569
I'm pretty sure this guy is stronger than you'll ever understand.

People who kill themselves are easy to understand: they're dead. Same with suicidal people: they'll be dead soon.

>>18051574
Education. So needed.

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>>18051586
>Person kills themselves
>They're now dead

>Guy lifts heavy shit
>Guy is strong

Are you seriously implying I'm wrong?

>>18051588
It's not implied. It was pretty explicit you're wrong and obviously don't understood shit.

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>>18051593
Are you Japanese? They seem to believe there's some kind of "strength" or "honor" in suicide. Just because it's your culture doesn't mean it's good.

>>18051615
You misunderstand me. Killing oneself isn't strength. Being suicidal and depressed and seeking out help, fighting each day to choose life is strength. Most people with a mood disorder are the strongest people emotionally you'll ever meet.