>Have you ever cheated on me? >Yes and no. But i was always

>>18048485
Follow-up with clarification. Why the fuck are you asking us, when the person who has the answer is easily within reach to ask?

If you dont understand what someone means, then you ask them to be more specific. This is pretty basic knowledge for interacting with humans. Doesn't matter if it is a mumbling professor or your girlfriend. Take action, be an adult and converse about it.

Perhaps she was raped?

>>18048493
Your entire flaming shitpost is invalid.
1
>you REALLY think i didnt ask for clarification?
2
>i never said this is happening right now, so the answer is definitely NOT easily within reach
>>18048497
Hmmmmmm.....i am willing to bet anything this didnt happen. We were living together at the time so i am pretty sure i would have picked up some signs if that happened.

>>18048485
It's the kind of answer you'd expect more from a guy, since we are more likely to separate emotions from actions.

She's saying she may have engaged in some act - probably not as far as intercourse - that would technically be being untrue, but as there was no emotional content she still feels committed to you.

>>18048508
So saying it bluntly, you think it is likely that she sucked some random dick but "kept thinking about me" while doing it or whatever piss poor excuse cheaters come up with?

>>18048515
She probably wasn't thinking of you while having sex or sucking dick, she probably didn't even think the words "sucking dicks" or "penetration" "Dick" dick cuck cuck.

She just felt very aroused and she had sexual acts. And, in the worst case, if she felt emotional about someone, it was probably during that little period of time.

Or maybe she is just autistic and she means that she thought about nasty things but never put them to action.

>>18048485
That means yes, and she's trying to cover her ass. Unless she literally fell on a dick

>>18048540
There is also completely different possibility.
All this went down about 8 months ago and i have broken up with her within a month since OP happened.

I dont have a definite proof, BUT i am about 85% sure she was snorting fucking meth behind my back at the time.

So it IS possible she was just talking about her (secret) meth use.
But now that i remembered the thing she said in the OP i have to keep thinking about whether she cheated on me (with someone) or if she was just referring to her secret meth use, its driving me fucking nuts.

And it doesnt even fucking matter ONE BIT now, yet it still haunts my mind.

>>18048556
You care too much about other people's mentality. You should feel okay and not upset even when you are alone.

I think you need to get some deep interest for cinema or maybe literature and music.
I can suggest anime, or manga as well, with a certain artistic value.
I can suggest anything, that will prompt you into a direction of any artistic field.

I can help with it if you want

She probably has guy friends or co-workers she clings onto. Literally every place I've worked at least one girl has gravitated towards me and it leads to them becoming comfortable enough they brush up against me with their butt/boob/hip/or arm, or they sneak little hugs in or rubs on my shoulder. I've even had a married girl literally walk up and hump my thigh with her vagina as she casually asked me something like what time my shift was.

So maybe she fools around and flirts with guys and doesn't necessarily see it as bad. Maybe taboo st the most yet in her mind she knew she wouldn't leave you. A girl saying yes and no is a bullshit answer. Sounds like she's like 25. And meth? I doubt she meant that. But wouldn't doubt if she as on it. I've banged and been around chicks who do meth they are all sluts.

>>18048570
Are you shitposting right now or being ironic? Honest to god, i cant fucking tell mate.

>You care too much about other people's mentality
>You care too much whether someone you lived with for 4 and a half years had other cocks in her orifices
Not the same thing man.

>You should feel okay and not upset even when you are alone.
Avoided company for most of my life, i do not only feel okay, i THRIVE in solitude.

> that will prompt you into a direction of any artistic field.
Wrote a book couple of months ago and its selling couple of copies per month with 5 star reviews, so i dont need help with that, thanks though.
The only thing i AM interested in right now, is whether my ex really did cheat on me or if she was just talking about her (secret) meth use.

>>18048585
Lived together for 4 and half years and the first 3+ years we were basically always together so she had no opportunity to cheat (yet i was always paranoid about her cheating).

The last year and something she VERY LIKELY started doing meth though, became friends with literal, certified hoes/slut junkies AND male coworker/s.

I know exactly what you mean, but simple flirting or fooling around (without actual sexual activity) wouldnt make her say YES (and no), would it?

Broke up with her month after she said the OP thing anyway.
I am starting to suspect that she was just junkie-talking me though and that it made no sense even to her.

Still would like to know if she cheated or not.

>>18048587
>Not the same thing man.
She seems unstable, there is nothing much to it, a person that did drugs even only once knowing it is self-destructive goes against the empathy of anyone around herself.
It means that she can be unstable and it is natural to be unstable unless you are very intelligent, you are being unstable by questioning her loyalty.
Even if she had sex all the time and what you have had didn't matter for your ideals and you feel sad about it, if she knew you would feel bad, you simply didn't have empathy to understand she didn't have the same ideals or kind of empathy you have, which means that both or one of you is lacking in understanding.

Off topic, in which language did write a book?
Can I get help writing one, I am always looking for a pal writer. My native language is Italian.

It means "yes ofc"

>>18048587
>i THRIVE in solitude.

Yeah dude, with your posts about how you're going insane thinking about something your shitty meth-head gf was doing a year ago, you definitely seem like you're thriving.

You seem pretty toxic from your random hostility and the fact you were hanging out with people who did meth.

>>18048642
....Said the friendly, empathetic, happy person.

>>18048644
I'm pretty happy. Friendly and empathetic, probably not.

Get over your obsession with this girl. Who gives a fuck what she meant.

>>18048648
I do, friend.
Mentally i already got over the fact that she was a fucking methead behind my back. I can handle her being a fucking cheater.

I cant handle NOT knowing tho.

>>18048671
>I can handle her being a fucking cheater.
>I cant handle NOT knowing tho.

That you can't handle not knowing says you're way too focused on this. You absolutely should be able to handle not knowing.

>>18048680
>You should be X or Y
Well i am NOT though, mate. Nothing to be done.

The thing is, i had the opportunity to fuck her since we broke up but for some reason i felt really uncomfortable and repulsed by her. If the opportunity arises again i need to know whether i should hatefuck her and give her the cold shoulder or friend fuck her and be open.

>>18048687
Going back to this

>You seem pretty toxic

What's wrong with you or your life that you're this emotionally unstable? I think you have deeper issues than /adv/ can help with. I recommend seeing a counselor.

Maybe emotional cheating? Like she fell in love with some other dude but she never did anything physical

>>18048700
This is exactly what i thought back when she said that to me. Either this or the other way around AKA "stayed loyal" mentally, but not physically.
>>18048696
>Listen here sonny, i am certified armchair psychologist and my adv-
Fuck off with your projections.

>>18048671
You are trying to do the same mental gymnastics as she to separate cheating from being faithful and loving you. Same shit. Meth heads do all kinds of degrading crazy shit and they blame it on the meth and what she's doing now and you are an enabler if you give her a pass on the cheating which she has done. I guarantee you would be sickened if you knew every nasty ass guy she's fucked and sucked cause it isn't just one.

>>18048708
Dude, it's weird as fuck you're obsessing over whether you were cheated on.

>>18048723
As i said, i broke up with her 8+ months ago.
Also what you said doesnt make any fucking sense.
Me trying to get to the truth and finally closing the chapter is in NO MOTHERFUCKING WAY the same thing as somebody cheating and trying to let off some of the guilt by speaking in non nonsensical double meaning.

>>18048729
>lolz DOOD its like totes weird that you wanna know whether the person you lived with for 5 years, spent all your money, energy and love on ever cheated on you
Yeah i TOTES agree friend, its like totally crazy that i wanna know the truth since i had countless opportunities to date UP (better woman overall) but never did cause i am not a fucking cheater.

I mean somebody betraying your trust completely is just shit that happens, its so weird to wanna be sure that it happened.

>>18048730
The truth is she cheated and you don't want to accept it.

>>18048751
Interesting hypothesis. Any proof/theories to back that up?

I can see her saying the OP shit and talking about her (secret) meth use, makes sense to me. It is cheating. Especially with the "stayed faithful to you", bit.

Or maybe that was just junkie talk to make me paranoid, who the fuck knows.

>>18048736
You broke up with her eight months ago.

>>18048770
So? When you end up in prison because somebody snitched on you do you just get out and be all like
>meh, its time i forget all about it and look the to the future instead
? Well her shit landed me in violent section in a nut house, basically prison:light. I dont have a proof but there is very real possibility she spiked my food, drink or weed with meth because the shit i was doing, the weight i lost, the delusions i had are telltale of meth abuse.

You google "signs of meth abuse" or "meth psychosis" and you have my behaviour described to a T.

Another thing is absolutely NONE of the professionals could explain why the fuck was i acting and thinking the way i was. They even said themselves "We will never know for sure what caused your behavior".


So you see, the whole thing is bit more complicated (with bigger impact than simple cheating).

>>18048756
>just junkie talk
to make herself feel better

>>18048485
>>Have you ever cheated on me?
>>Yes

at that point you stopped having a gf and started having a placeholder fucktoy until you could find something better.

>>18048811
Can confirm, dealt with this before.
Dump her ass if you respect yourself, OP.

>>18048811
>>18048818
I did dump her 8 months ago anons. Surprisingly despite being in love with her i did so with completely straight face and actually celebrated right after (despite being locked up). She cried a lot and two weeks later was seen at parties, getting drunk, dancing and being all happy, happy like nothing happened at all.

Whatever the fuck she meant by what she said wasnt good.

>>18048508
You have no idea how many women are able to rationalize that they didn't actually cheat even though they had sex with someone. You can't assume that there was no sex involved, that's a male assumption where facts and logic have to match up with the conclusions one draws about one's self. That's not how they do it man. They conclusions are drawn based off of emotions and they use their logic to construct a narrative that fits but in truth has only a thin veneer of verisimilitude and under the tiniest probe with logic it falls apart which is why women often resort to huge bursts of emotion when presented with facts they don't like.

I've had a girl tell me she didn't cheat on her boyfriend even though she technically literally did because she found out he looked at porn at his pc so she got mad and got wasted and fucked some dude so it didn't count because he made her mad and made her drink. This is how she justified lying to his face about it constantly. She had literally no moral qualms about this because in her world she really didn't cheat on her boyfriend. Of course, women have guilt which makes them always want to tell someone because they crave forgiveness. They want to be reassured that they are in the right and that everything will be fine. One of the ways they do this is to do half-admissions of the truth. Claim to have just been doing some innocent flirting, and when pushed admit it got to a kiss but deny deny deny it ever went further and cry and sob your heart out, then they get the emotional resolution they so desperately need when the guy forgives them, comforts them, makes love to them.

Women are literally evil. They act like fuckboys/players are evil, but players just know enough of their true nature to treat them like the trash they are.

yo OP I think the real answer is leaving your house more, I'm making an observation solely on the amount and context of replies you've had in this thread and I've been in the same position, you know, when you reply to people over and over trying to get some sort of satisfaction or affirmation or just a kind word and get none, It's obvious that there's none here for you mate. You should let go of the entire cheating thing and fill your time and thoughts and mind with other things, with enough distractions - you'll get a moment of clarity one day asking yourself "Does it even matter anymore? I've built myself forward now."

- Guy who had the same drug abuse history gf for 2 years who was also vague about cheating then left one day and just disappeared, leaving me in heavy doubts.

>>18048851
What you said is the truth.
Right now i am in the worst place/situation i have ever been in my life. There were times i was starving for weeks, been homeless, been locked up but i was never fucked up like i am right now. No (realistic) way out either, for couple of months at least, forever at worst.

There is literally NOTHING else for me to concentrate on right now, be interested in or pay attention to. Its either this shit or shutting off my consciousness by sleeping.

Over the 8 months i noticed a pattern. I start being hopeful, interested in other shit and stop completely caring about my ex. Then (usually after we talk, see each other or chat) i keep getting sucked back in and ruminating about what "REALLY" happened and lose all focus. But like i said there is nothing for me to do now anyway, so this loop from hell it is.

Thanks for the kind words by the way.

>>18048485
She said yes. She cheated. Maybe she didn't have sex, maybe she regretted it instantly, whatever. If she hadn't done anything wrong she wouldn't have said Yes. I know the not knowing sucks, but you gotta accept that and move on.

>>18048863
yeah no problem mate I get it, I think you just self-diagnosed your problem really, and you know the solution
Stop seeing her, don't talk to her don't check up about her. I chased mine for a couple of months of hell like an obsessive stalker because I didn't understand where the FUCK my gf of 2 years DISAPPEARED into.

It ended with an email from her saying she's in a happy relationship with somebody and she just finished getting fucked this morning and it was great etc etc..

I got my confession, I guess I felt it necessary to get closure just like you do. She was my first gf.

Fast forward a couple years, second gf tells me she wants to break up "because we have differences", everything was well with us so I confront her with the real reason, she lies and lies and lies, 2 and a half hours in she finally confesses that she's fallen for this guy and been thinking about him for 3 months, I asked a bit more questions, mainly did you cheat, she said no but I don't really believe that, because the day prior she went with this guy to some dance and said the only thing she did is "rest my head on his shoulder watching a video on the phone", yeah it could be that she cheated, this time I heard enough, I manned up and just told her never to contact me again, haven't heard or contacted her since (It was October 2016)

It's the best way to do it bro, do NOT contact exes, I haven't checked a single thing regarding my first gf ever since she sent me that email March 2015, I sent her one back telling her she'll get hers, and moved on.

You'll pull through bro, don't worry.

>>18048485
>>18048485
>>18048485
>>18048485
>>18048485

Just found another bit of the puzzle.

After i broke up with her i asked her in a chat how she meant the OP thing and she said she
>never cheated on me with anyone
and that she said the OP thing because
>she got so mad from me being suspicious all the time and asking her if she is cheating on me again and again that she was so mad she told me yes

I dont know, but i call bullshit.
>Be in a courtroom
>Be asked if i murdered someone
>Say no
>Be asked 50 more times
>get mad and say yes
? Doesnt make any fucking sense

>>18049072
Definitely sucked some dick on the side.

Reading this thread makes me happy for being with a girl for 4 years who never pulled this kind of bullshit into me, I don't have patiance for mental gymnastics or emotional games, I would just jump off in the slightly signal of it.

>>18049055
I appreciate your reply man, but my problems are much deeper and different than one fucking ex. She is just tip of the iceberg or the first drop of fecal matter before the shitstorm.

I mean, i am not as fucked up as i am BECAUSE of her, but just slightly ALSO because of her. You know what i mean?

She was also my first serious gf btw, except the breakup and post breakup is miles different than what you had with your EXes.

Instead of saying she is in relationship and having great sex in the morning she is saying shit like
>Damn, i dont really know what to do. I am kinda interested in a guy but i am unable to show any affection or emotions or how to call it.
I tell her that i dont really know what to say to that, but that i had similar problem for most of my life. She replies with
>He reminds me of you :D :)
I tell her "Naturally. You cant get the original so you find a cheap copy :)". She hits me with
>Yeah, but he doesnt get jealous! :D Also i told him he needs to deal with his past first.
I explain that its natural for men to be jealous and that if he isnt then he probably doesnt care. Added that SHE is the one to talk shit about dealing with your past before getting in a relationship....She goes
>Yeah, thats why i told him i also need to deal with my past. It looks like he got back with his ex though.
And blablabla.

In different convo she said something along the lines of wanting to be a man and fucking naive girls. So i told her to she can do that as a woman too. She said that aint it, that penis is a penis. So i told her to get a strap on and fuck whoever. She replied with "Yeah but i like penis. The real thing. No girl can offer me that+the big embrace. What can i say, i like life :)"...blablabla


So you see, i am having bit of fun with her and i am pretty fucking sure that i could fuck her if i put in the effort (i wont). I keep in touch because she is my ONLY weed plug, shit sucks.

>>18048913
I dunno.. if she didn't have sex and was just swept up by someone, then caught herself, I think that's a pretty good track record.. shit happens man.. and at least if she was honest with you and didn't do it again, or felt shame.. you gotta understand, there's plenty of things we'd all be ashamed of admitting having done.. not one of us here can say we're perfect or exempt from sin. We're not.

That we'd wish it never happened? Of course.. but it did..

I know it's hard af..but recently I had a sort of ..i dunno..deep thought..

What if for a moment..you thought of your partner as your daughter? Granted, a lot of ppl on /adv/ can barely imagine having a gf..but just picture it.. imagine if your daughter was raped.. would you stop loving her? Or would your desire to protect her increase like never before? Could you then say, that you'd stop loving her if she got married and found a husband? Or maybe if she slept with a handful of guys? would you simply kick her out like trash for making weak decisions?

It's just a perspective I've had to realize internalize recently... to truly convince someone you love them, you have to accept them as they are..and when they realize how good you've been to them, it may take years..then they will internalize the hurt they've done unto you, and even then, you will still love them.

In the bible, Jesus said that the only reason a man should put away (divorce) his wife, was in the case of adultery. But Jesus also forgave a woman who was caught in the very act..and stopped the crowd with the very statement, Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone. And they all put down their stones. God I wish so badly for a good woman.. but no one if perfect. It seriously brings tears to my eyes.

>>18048485
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

>>18049135
>but no one if perfect. It seriously brings tears to my eyes

Why? Fuck being perfect, perfect is boring.
Enjoy or hate or ignore people as you please, but do it for what they are, not what they're supposed to be.

>>18049113
>I keep in touch because she is my ONLY weed plug, shit sucks.

Its me from earlier who replied about my ex..
I mean I get that banter between you two but she's not your woman anymore, now It's just sad interaction between you two where you try to get her back (we know It's not just for fuckin be real) and she knows she has that upper hand on your emotions.. Talking to her about other men? damn is there any more sting than that? you're like cutting your own heart out over and over mate you gotta stop completely, ask her to not contact you ever again unless you contact her first, tell her that if she ever cared for you she'll do it. And then don't talk to her. Also the weed thing is a pretty lame excuse no offence, but logically speaking the cons are waaay bigger than the pros of talking to this lady, she's what brings you back down you said it yourself - get a good thing going, then she talks to you again and boom you're back down.
And to top it all off you always had problems so really, you don't need this, and if you know you don't then let it go.

But if you don't let it go - that's fine, that just means you need a bigger lesson, maybe be hurt and depressed more until you break, it sucks but nobody can help you but yourself. It's a cliche but It's true, good luck mate

>>18048485
It's a yes or no answer. To answer it any other way is like saying someone is sort of pregnant.

>>18049995
Vague answers are non-answers.

If you're getting vague answers about cheating, then your relationship was already over. The next relationship is already going on and you're not part of it.

>>18049072
No offense but I can see this happening. I mean just imagine somebody kept pestering you by questioning your hygiene or whatever. At one point you would get mad and just agree with them to get them to finally shut up.

>>18050597
A yes no response should always been taken as a yes. Always.

>>18050611
I didn't mean to quote you anon, my bad

>should always be taken ***

I'll stop posting now :^(

>>18048613
>a person that did drugs even only once knowing it is self-destructive goes against the empathy of anyone around herself.

I know a few people that used to be addicted to heroin and once you think about quitting you know it's self-destructive. Those people are fairly normal and trust worthy people now. I also know some scumbags that have done heroin and a lot that are on random opiates, but you're way too broad.

>>18049464
The older you get, the less you tolerate, and yet it's qualities like tolerance and forgiveness that make for great relationships.

File: 1456012007638.jpg (384KB, 1582x1056px) Image search: [Google]

384KB, 1582x1056px

>>18048485
That means you should dump her, it's yes or no not "yes and no."