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OK I am holding a TINY Wedding. TINY. Its a destination wedding, I want to make sure my guests enjoy themselves, I am supplying with accommodations for 4 days, including nice food/cake, and travel if needed (for my poor friends).
Want to invite 17 people. Immediate family, close friends/relatives.
Oh wait but my dad wants another 2, because he thinks that it might cause a rift in his family if I don't get those 2, I already want to invite 2 out of his 3 brothers, so he wants the third brother in there and his wife. Otherwise his last remaining brother might feel left out. OK. Maybe.
Oh wait but if my dad gets those 2, my mom wants 6. She doesn't care either way if my dad doesn't get the 2, but if he gets the 2 guests, she wants the 6 guests. She has a long long story on how she has made so many compromises with my dad, how she always has to compromise, she always has to sacrifice. If my dad has all his brothers, why not all her siblings? She is sick of sacrificing and being irrelevant. Ugh. I love my mother but this is a sore spot with her, she thinks my dad's family gets favoritism. She's right, they probably did get favoritism and as a result I am closer with my dad's family than her own.
Oh wait but these 8 together pretty much mean I am having a mini-family reunion and then my fiancee just has his immediate family there. What about his aunts and uncles etc? Another 6 people. UGH.
My family are helping to pay for accommodations. They rented a house that sleeps 12.
What are the obligations here? What do I do? Let them fill up the house they rented among themselves, and just worry about my fiancees' side? Put my foot down? With my mom or my dad? I feel gross and annoyed because before it was "oh sweetie invite who you want to invite its your special day" but now I am letting people down no matter what. I hate it.
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>>18047454
Just invite your mom and dad. Neither of them get to bring any guests. Done.
If they throw a fuss, politely remind them that this isn't about them
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>>18047459
Yeah it stinks. I'm not used to having to say stuff like that. I wanted everyone to be happy about it. Want to talk to my fiance about it but he's playing video games.
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"This is our budget. We cannot go over this. If you all want to invite extra guests, you can, but we cannot pay for them. They are welcome if they can find the finances. You can talk with your respective families about whether you want all-expenses-paid for a few people or partial-expenses-paid for more. But this is our hard limit and we cannot fund any more than this."
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tell them both no. its your wedding, this is the way you want it and if tehy dont like it they dont have to be there either.
>BUT THAT'D UPSET THEM
who cares, its your wedding.
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>>18047454
It's extremely disheartening to know we live in a world where people can be so selfish on their own kids' wedding days. Your parents should be bending over backwards to make sure this day is as happy and close to your vision as possible. Instead they're using it for leverage in their petty games.
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