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Hello /adv/
I don't know who would be reading this but I just wanted to get something off my chest. I'm not entirely sure about this being on the correct board. I am not in the best state of mind at this moment.
A little about my situation:
I am 28 years old, gay, and in a closeted relationship with an older man for about 5 years now. We both live in our own respective houses so I stay alone most of the time till he gets home and we meet up somewhere. My siblings and I grew up in an abusive household in which my mother terrorized all three of us. My father however allowed it all to go down. I have a rough time with socializing with others as I have moments that I get flashbacks of certain instances of my mother going crazy and yelling and beating us with whatever she had within reach. So I have very little social interaction with others and I don't have any friends to talk to about my situation.
Now the aforementioned situation; My brother (not the youngest) had been diagnosed with a rare type of cancer for his age. Undifferentiated embryonal sarcoma of the liver. Has had treatment in the form of surgery and chemo. The oncologist placed him in remission about half a year ago and said everything was looking great. My brother just informed me today that he has masses in his lungs and lymph nodes and he's mentioned that the oncologist has performed a biopsy after having a PET scan performed. He has a wife and a boy, and another one on the way. Again, I have nobody to talk to and I'm hurting really badly. I know the whole "be strong for him" yadda yadda but I feel like everything inside my body is on fire.
tldr;
>28 year old with nobody to talk to
>younger brother had been diagnosed with rare cancer
>younger brother in remission
>got the call that he has masses in lungs and lymph nodes
>what do
Pic unrelated
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deep breaths man. if it turns into crying, so be it
where are your other siblings, have you spoken with the others yet?
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>>18046822
You don't show it to him. Whatever you feel, he needs something to be his secure place. Someone he knows he can count on.
You can let your feelings out when he's not there. Good luck anon
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>>18046976
Well we're both aware of his condition. The only problem is that I work first shift and my youngest brother works third.
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>>18046988
Thanks for the kind words.
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>>18046822
dat sucks... you all have had a tough row to hoe.
but your brother is a man, and he and his wife must've had a talk about his mortality rate and decided this is how he wants to live his life.
so, yours is only to decide how to help.
you like your nephew?
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>>18046822
no friends? cant even cuddle your bf?
i had a hard time the other day cuz my father had two strokes. a friend of mine came over and i said 'im sad i need someone to hold me'. so i just cuddled my male friend for the duration of a movie. it was awkward for him but i feel so much better now.
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>>18047017
I love that little guy like he's my own. I spoil him rotten when I take him over to the toy section at Walmart. I guess that is another reason why I feel this way.
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>>18047022
I'll try that tonight when he gets in from work, we've been fighting a little bit but I guess that can wait.
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>>18047034
well yeah this kind atakes precedent and hopefully makes you guys see how petty the fight is (assuming it is)
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>>18047034
tho if you're in la id buy you a beer and give you a cuddle myself.
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>>18047033
you can make yourself feel better by finding a plan and then comitting to it.
this gives you a sense of agency in the face of things you can't control.
you CANT control how sick he is/will become.
But ask yourself, what are you willing to do otherwise? And if you like what your bro does, how he lives his life, what he stands for, then you can/should make it a core component of who you are to make sure those things outlive him.
And even better if he has a son because there is a literal manifestation you can direct it at.
you're 28. Hows your finances?
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Do whatever you can to make him comfortable OP. If it was my bro, I'd be doing pretty much anything I could to take little petty stresses off of his mind (like grocery shopping and shit) so that he could focus on being healthy and spending time with his family.
You're a good bro.
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