So I'm 18, my parents divorced when I was young and and

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So I'm 18, my parents divorced when I was young and and that plus the fact that my mother most of the time was busy dealing with her own depression and not giving a single fuck about me in my childhood (being bullied, having bad grades in school) resulted in me being a depressed and anxious bitch that doesn't know how it is to be and act like a man. I have two siblings about 7 years younger than me, both of which behaviour is terrible. They shout, insult each other and I hate it, but I do know that it's mainly my fault becuase I acted even worse in their age. The problem is that when I'm trying to point out my mother's mistakes that she didn't punish them or even stopped reacting to it, she either blames it on me, changes subject and complains about my bad grades or explains that she gave up on that long time ago. This time however, after a long conversation in which I dropped many f bombs (unnecessary, i know, i fucked up) and transfered my frustration of her fucking up in raising me, to which she, after a long monologue, told me that she's going to hospital because of us. And I know that she's not fucking joking, as she once done this to prove how bad we are to her, and my whole family which I rarely have any contact with reacted in calling me, shouting, insulting and asking why are we so evil, she's a single mother dealing with us unthankful bastards. And I know that I'm probably gonna end up neeting (or just live, that's a better term) for a couple of years in home with her and siblings until I train myself for a job I want to pursue so it's kind of a big deal to me, I can't just leave them and live alone now. My question is what the fuck do I do in that situation? I can't ask family because they are biased toward her, but they don't know how it's like in reality, so I have no one except you, anons. Also, I'm sorry, my English is usually pretty decent, but this time my hands are shaking and i'm having a problem in writing even one sentence.
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