My girlfriend has average looks. I've always thought she

>HEY ADV I HAVE A PROBLEM OF SOME SORT
>posts random thoughts

This isn't a game of riddles. Cut the shit and say what-went-where honestly or fuck off to the other boards.

>>18044492
How long have you been dating?

>>18044492
This is what happens when you leave the honeymoon phase. It's why relationships take effort. You may pay more attention to her physical flaws because you've gotten comfortable, but does that outweigh everything else good about the relationship? Are these flaws she had before or did she gain 50lbs in 2 years?

File: image.jpg (66KB, 634x471px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 634x471px

>>18044492
That's actually really fucking sad dude

>>18044492
>Did I fall out of love?

Yes. It happens. End the relationship and move on. You'll both be happier.

>>18044541
Nothing changed. She has a really big fucking nose and her smile is crooked

>>18044492
The same thing happened to me, OP. I ruined a relationship that was actually very good, for the exact same reason. Relationships take work, and even if you suddenly see all her flaws, it should mean that you're able to appreciate all her good traits too. Focus on what you have, and not on what you don't.

This kind of thinking is just sad. Sad and pitiful. Your life will be a long and lonely one.

>>18044618
>>18044573
I can't help it. I actually saw past all he flaws initially, but now it just came rushing in

>>18044492
He, he. This is probably the main reason I don't date women at first glance. I either see them enough times to decide to ask them out or I move on. If that's your gf on the pic she's pretty OP.

>>18044719
nah she looks like a german olympic athlete

File: 1474262654988.jpg (13KB, 236x236px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 236x236px

>>18045076

Hahaha holy fuck can we get a reference pic?

>>18044580

Did you notice this before or just recently?

>>18044618
What he said.

>>18044492
she probably didnt wear make up or shoe cleavage that day

File: eunseo.jpg (193KB, 1500x1000px) Image search: [Google]

193KB, 1500x1000px

>>18044580
how big

>>18044492
I also know this feeling. I also don't know how to deal with it?

Am i supposed to move through life with nothing but a string of short relationships, or am i supposed to just pick a random person and pretend to love them until i start to believe it myself?

If you love her, this is a fading moment of realization that indeed comes with the honeymoon phase ending. It can also be a symptom that your relationship is lacking lately (less/no sex, emotional intimacy, quality time together etc) and you are guarding yourself emotionally and taking your distance.

If you're in a LTR, it's normal to go through (especially brief) phases where you still love them and still feel attracted to them, but don't feel very romantic towards them and don't look forward to seeing them all the time etc. Where they morph more into an actual best friend you see all the fucking time than a lover or a soulmate. But then there's the moments where suddenly you're seeing and feeling it again and they enrich the strong foundation of trust and belonging that are always there anyway.

It is really, really rare for people to keep feeling that puppy love for each other for prolonged time. And that's good in some ways because it also tends to come with crazy jealousy, an obsessive streak that takes a toll on other areas of your life and so on. Real love is more like being at home and at peace than raw passion.

>>18044492
OP, are you an Apollo olympian god yourself? Does the stars shine around your face and body due to the perfection?

>>18046381
Are you saying that instead of trying to find a partner i could just be content with sitting at home? Because that's what it sound like to me.

>>18046389
Well, no, but if you only want a partner because you buy into the meme that it's five decades full of sexual fireworks and being awestruck for each other than you absolutely are better off alone at home.

>>18046392
>>18046392
That's a diplomatic way of saying "you are a shit person. kys".

>>18046402
Well, was more implying that the world would fail you than the other way around, but that works too.

>>18046389
He's saying that if what you're expecting out of a relationship is non-stop sexual passion and attraction, that you'll be disappointed. Don't settle by any means, but be aware that the function of very long or life long relationships is more to provide stability, comfort, and support than anything else. Don't pursue that never ending puppy dog love relationship, because it doesn't exist.

>>18046410
>stability, comfort, and support
I thought this was what friends were for.

>>18046422
Well, yes. But a partner moreso. There's a reason that partners usually consider each other to be their best friend. If your friends provide you with all the human interaction, stability, and support that you need, there's nothing wrong with being content with that. But for most people it isn't enough, and the connection with a friend isn't as deep as that with a partner.

For me personally, my friends aren't much more than people to pass the time at school or work with. My partner is who I share things with, talk to when I'm feeling down, have intimacy with.

>>18046433
Only thing my friends don't provide me with is sex and puppy love.

>>18046440
Then maybe long term relationships aren't your thing, and that's totally fine. Or maybe they just aren't for you at this point in your life. But, give long term a chance. You've already put the effort in, you might as well actually find out if it's for you or not. See if you feel happier/more satisfied/content/whatever with this girl, even if you don't see her as the most beautiful girl in existance. Give it a few months at the very least.

And to answer your main question. No, you didn't necessarily fall out of love. You just fell out of lust.

>>18046449
Oh, i'm not OP. Sorry if i gave that impression.

>>18046452
Ah, no problem. /adv/ should really have tripcodes.

>>18046440
Really? Your friends will sleep next to you and feel consoled and safe in your bodyheat? Your friends will hold you when you break down and pick you up again? Your friends will want to hear about your every trivial childhood memory or petty little revenge of the day or barely there triumph?

Love is so much more than infatuation. Love is a tenderness, a protectiveness, a desire to see and connect with every part of someone. None of these depend directly on wildly roaring lust.

>>18046465
> Your friends will sleep next to you and feel consoled and safe in your bodyheat?
Well, no.
>Your friends will hold you when you break down and pick you up again?
Yes.
>Your friends will want to hear about your every trivial childhood memory or petty little revenge of the day or barely there triumph?
Yes.

>>18046465
Lots of people have very intimate relationships with their friends, at a variety of levels. Love isn't the end-all-be-all, and people shouldn't be told that they "have to have it because nothing else will satisfy".

>>18046477
Exactly, lots of people do share those things with friends.

>>18046477
Not in the same way, at least I strongly doubt that. They probably won't even be able to be around you 24/7 for months (let alone years) on end AND spend virtually all of their free time with you without finding you grating.

And with "every trivial etc" I don't mean, a story that happens to be really random and trivial. I mean being there to experience everything you experience in life AND what you think of that and feel about that AND how it makes you look differently at your past self and your parents and your future etc etc without just wanting to go have fun as friends already.

There's a certain emotional intimacy in being in a relationship that a friendship virtually never has. I have had friends I spooned with, who wiped my tears away (or my snot ffs) and what not and it's still a different world than a long term lover who literally knows you inside and out.

>>18046479
It isn't the end-all-be-all, but it is unique in its sort, just like friendship is different from love (and has certain kinds of appeal that love doesn't) and familial relationships are different from both.

That love isn't everything you ever wanted and more (which is kind of why this discussion started in the first place) doesn't mean it doesn't offer something that isn't present in many other relationships either.

Besides, even if you have those once in a lifetime friends you actually have >>18046484 with, typically they will at some point rank friendships at a lower priority because they'll have a family and/or a career and/or a relationship. That is also part of the appeal of relationships, that you have an exclusivity and always hold high priority for each other (though obviously you can't literally always be number one there either). It's not just something with elements that friendship lacks (although many of the special stuff is honestly just being really close in a way friends could also be - but for very long and on a very intense level) it's also the most secure and elaborate friendship you will engage in if all goes right.

>>18046484
Now you're making me think i'm incapable of love.

>>18046505
Eh, if you are capable of close friendships then I strongly doubt you're incapable of love. And just like most friendships are more convenience entertainment than a serious bond, most relationships are more sex and company than what I described, which is more the ultimate.

But yeah I think many happily married people (including the ones I know at least) would describe their spouse as a great friend they don't get tired of when they get tired of everyone else. That's a great thing in itself.

Also it is just a slightly (literally slightly) different feeling that even if there's no crazy lust/infatuation is really really sweet. Eg when you don't just understand, know and accept their human flaws and little quirks but they actually endear you and move you. (Not all the time, but sometimes.) Stuff like that. A very soft and happy feeling that is not unrealistic like butterflies.

>>18046515
>Eh, if you are capable of close friendships then I strongly doubt you're incapable of love.
Not if your definition of love involves being able to be around someone 27/7 for months or years without finding them grating.

>Also it is just a slightly (literally slightly) different feeling that even if there's no crazy lust/infatuation is really really sweet. Eg when you don't just understand, know and accept their human flaws and little quirks but they actually endear you and move you. (Not all the time, but sometimes.) Stuff like that. A very soft and happy feeling that is not unrealistic like butterflies.
This feeling is associated with pretty girls, small children, or pets.

>>18046539
24/7*

Yeah you probably did OP. Did this start out as being in love at first sight or something?