24 years old, married my first girlfriend. I love her and I'm

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>>18039602

>married my first girlfriend

>I really like getting attention from other women

>she is very plain-looking

>Lately I've been feeling down

>I've considered making a Tinder account

I'm going to go out on a wild limb here and say that you are definitely not satisfied with your marriage and your wife is definitely not everything you want in a relationship.

>>18039602

this is a bad path to go down regardless of marital status, it turns you into someone who needs validation. it starts with 'oh i just want to see my rate, im curious' and it ends with you posting the same pics of you from 5 years ago in /soc/ threads thirty times a day getting the same rates from the same people and lying to them about how they look so they lie to you about how you look,

>>18039619
Yes, yes, I get it. But it's not really advice, is it?

>>18039624

dont be rude. our job is not to just hand you what you want. that person pointed out your fallacy and why this isn't what you claim it is, why the advice you seek is not the advice you need.

dont be rude.

>>18039624
You want advice?
You're already down the rabbit hole, asshole. Either get a divorce or work on your relationship.

>>18039602
>I want to know that someone attractive finds me attractive.

Yeah you're a piece of shit. And don't try making excuses and blame it on the fact that she's your first or you are in a monogamous relationship. If it's not something you can ask your partner about, it's a good indicator that it's a fucked up thing you shouldn't do.

I think this is probably just a troll though.

>>18039630
Then what advice do I need?

To be clear, the way my wife and I interact and communicate is great. We can talk about everything it's appropriate to talk about together and we are a great team.

But she isn't hot and I know I could do better as far as looks go. She also isn't very smart/analytical. She's a very "dumb blond" sort of girl.

Ideal situation would be a different sort of person with the same sort of relationship dynamic, which I never saw happening when we got engaged and I don't ever see it happening in the future.

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>>18039624

>Yes, yes, I get it. But it's not really advice, is it?

The thing is I can't give you advice on how to fix something that you don't think is broken.

You asked for advice on how to treat the symptom of a problem that you aren't even willing to admit to yourself exists.

I think the first step to this entire process is you being able to admit that there's a lot of parts about this marriage that you're resentful about. You got married early to your first girlfriend and now you're panicking because you feel like you're missing out.

Your wife isn't able to satisfy any of these urges you're having so you're trying to figure out a way to be completely committed to the idea that your marriage is wonderful while also going behind your wife's back to get affection and validation from other women and its a giant sack of dysfunctional bullshit.

>>18039647

to re-examine your relationship because shes obviously not satisfying you as the other post said.

>>18039602
>>18039647
Man imagine if your wife thought and talked about you like this behind your back

>>18039662
Then she'd be a cheating whore, obviously

>>18039648

I don't know how to open a dialogue like that without opening a can of worms. I feel like it's better for me to resolve my own insecurities on my own, or numb the pain until the feeling of "missing out" passes. If you know a way to bring this up I'm open to ideas.

>>18039662

I imagine it all the time and though it would bother me if I found out I'd be fine with it in the end because then I'd know she feels the same way I do and we can resolve the issue.

Are you happy in everything else in your life? Do you hate your job? Are you pursuing your hobbies?

I got married at 19 (33 now) and we went through a rough patch where my husband was chatting and exchanging pics with girls online. When I found out it completely broke me in half, but looking back now I realize it had a lot to do with the fact that at that time he was miserable with his job, completely overworked, whereas I had a fucking awesome job. He was working his ass of 6 days a week, more than 12 hour days that left him completely drained. He was too tired to fuck, too tired to socialize, meanwhile I had this fucking chill ass job that was very social in nature, and I knew everyone in town and made tons of friends.

I realize now that the hardest times in our relationship weren't a result of our incompatibility, but of life circumstances and how we coped with the them.

There is a,ways a way to make things right if both are willing, but making a tinder to chat with ho's will only end in tears, I promise you that.

>>18039677

going on tinder wont resolve your insecurities.

>>18039679
I am satisfied with my life but I feel like no one thinks I deserve to be satisfied. Then I just feel like no one likes me. I just need a compliment from someone who isn't obligated to compliment me.

>>18039701
I suppose but perhaps it will be an anesthetic to my problems until they go away.

>>18039705
All these feelings come from within yourself. Looking outward to the adulation of strangers will not change how you feel. That's literal attention whoring. There is a root cause of this problem, and you have to find it.
Satisfied isn't happy. There is something you are missing, and it isn't random strangers attention.

>>18039715
I feel that not being liked by people is an indication that you are an asshole. I am not liked by people, ergo I am an asshole. I want to not feel like an asshole/stop being an asshole and have people like me again (or for the first time for all I know).

>>18039736

unlikable =/= asshole.

you're definitely an asshole though

>>18039757
yup. so how do i stop being an asshole and start being liked by people?

>>18039760
Try this book https://www.amazon.com/Assholes-Theory-Aaron-James/dp/0804171351

The main idea is that asshole think their emotions are above other people's. The reason this is toxic is because you can gain more things by working together with other people than you can on your own, with very limited exceptions.

Being nice to others is thus not something you should feel is a sacrifice but a cunning tool to gain more stuff.

For example, say I want more money but I already have two jobs and a side thing. What do I do? I am nice to the people around me so that they can buy me food or pay for my things. Is that an asshole thing to do? Yes it is but do they see it as that? No, they're helping a good old friend that has always been nice to them.

Say you want days off but you've already spent your holidays, what do? Ask a friend to cover a shift, or even a few hours of a shit, get more gaming time.

Being nice is simply worth more and you gain more.

>>18039764
So.. keep being an asshole, but in a way regular people can stomach?

>>18039709
>an anesthetic to problems
>until they go away on their own

this is not how problems work anon

>>18039769
yeah sure what ever works for you i guess

>>18039773
In my experience, there are good times and bad times no matter what you do. The plan was to do this to get through a temporary rough spot.

I was also told smoking some weed was effective, should I try that instead?

>>18039602
>My wife is everything I want in a relationship but she is very plain-looking

You only have yourself to blame, remember that when she bursts into tears when she finds out you have fucked a few bimbos.

lol @ all the moralfags in this thread

Do what you want OP stop listening to the retards here

>>18039602
This is the reason I stopped complying to exclusivity years ago.

Just got a new girlfriend a few months ago. She knows I'll eventually fuck other women during my lifetime. It could be tonight, or it could be in ten years from now. I use Tinder whenever I feel like it, because it makes me better at understanding and attracting women. It's how I met her, and the fact that she knows I got game with others, makes her more attracted to me, and she shows her appreciation since she knows I don't put her on a pedestal.

Monogamy will kill your game and dull your ability to be fully present with your partner - since you'll be thinking about all the could have beens, whenever she doesn't satisfy you. Go the opposite route, and the time you spend with your partner won't only NOT make you compare her to others, but you'll know that you could have any number of other women, which means it's not because of restrictions you choose to be with her. Talk to her about how you'll both gain from getting better at building attraction with others - it doesn't means you're going to fuck anyone else, you'll just feel more alive and not grow old in your twenties.

>>18039602
Dude if she sees you have tinder your marriage is fucked. If one of her female friends see you on tinder you're fucked.

If you need to be an attention whore to feel like a man of worth just have a night out on your own and head to a gay bar. Dudes will want to fuck you all the time, you will be able to reject them, maybe get paid a drink.

I know how good it feels to actually feel desired. That's not wrong. But maybe meditate over the fact why your wife isn't good enough for the fact, and about how you'd feel if she would text and flirt with other dudes because your attention is not enough

>>18039602
Marriage is a terrible idea at this day an age. Its harsh business that gets sabotaged each day by midia and technology.

Regardless you married this girl and she trusts you to honor your vows, if you wanna go down that path, just divorce. Monogamy is not for everyone maybe its not for you, but I gotta say it will be hilarious if you do divorce then realize how shitty it is to be single and beg her to get back with her. I've seen it happen so many times but its always funny, the guy who thinks he is hot shit and will be drowning in pussy realizes he is nothing to write home about, gets ignored by girls and comes back to his ex, beaten and defeated only to find out she already moved on to another dude.

>>18039970
>Dude if she sees you have tinder your marriage is fucked. If one of her female friends see you on tinder you're fucked.

Who cares

I wouldn't want to be around anyone that insecure

>>18039602
You and your marriage are absolutely doomed

you're type of person that always seeks validation from others, and once you get it you need more so it becomes a never ending cycle

i'm the same way but i've never been married for this reason

Basically there is only one way to try to "solve" this with your wife and that's telling her how you feel. Obviously don't tell her you don't find her hot enough for her opinion on you to have any worth, that's just fucking cold. (Couldn't it matter to you that she finds you hot because you supposedly lover her...?) But you can tell her that you got married young and you realize now that the amount of desire you have towards flirty attention from other women is in fact not normal in a committed relationship. Instead of telling her she doesn't look good enough, tell her that because you know she loves you etc, her words don't have the same confirmative value to you and you have a strong desire to feel attractive just as a person, also to people not attached to you. Perhaps you can reach a compromise - if she is not a jealous person at all, for example, she might be fine with you flirting etc as long as you don't ever meet up with someone.

More importantly, it gives you a way to bring this issue up and see how she feels about it. Do you ever want kids? If so, it's an ultimate douche move to be silent about all these thoughts and issues while she will eventually get pregnant and commit to you the most complete way a human being can commit to another human being. And don't let anyone tell you differently, if you do wish to separate you're going to have an easier time attracting girls now than in ten years time.
Basically if you love her, be honest with her and let her decide whether she still wants to be your wife knowing all this.

>>18039841
I'm a virgin in my twenties, and this exacly what I'm afraid of.
I went on a date with a girl a few days ago, and when she didn't want to come back to my place because she was "looking for something serious" I just told her this isn't gonna work and left. She was actually cool enough to be a potential gf, but there is just NO WAY Im' getting into a relationship before I've become at least decent with girls in general.
I mean ffs. you wouldn't want a gf who picked you because she had absolutely no other options, right? Besides that, I think a lot of this is just bullshit Disney romanticism.

Also, what is "game" and how do you get it?

When I talk to girls, it's either "on" within the first five minutes no matter what I say, and there's some kind of flirty vibe even if we talk about the most boring shit ever, or it's not.

>>18040423

This is actually what freaks me out about my bf. He recently admitted to me he's a virgin and he wants me to be his first/last but i know how unexperienced men are plagued by curiosity so i worry about him having those feelings later on.
At least you're upfront about it and know you're not ready to tie down.
Nothing worse than leading someone on.

>>18040459
Instead of listening to anecdotes from anons on 4chan of all places, look at stats. Virgin guys are the least likely to cheat, divorce, or be sexually unsatisfied in their relationship. Does it mean it garuntees that your bf won't? No, but it means him being a virgin actually makes him part of the least risky group and you not trusting or believing him and worrying about that is more likely to harm your relationship than anything.

>>18040459
Just let him fuck a few bitches to let it out of his system

No tears

>>18040053
Thanks very much for the advice, anon. This seems my way to go.

>>18039833
Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I come on /adv/ to be told I'm an asshole if I need it.

>>18040008
Tinder is basically for hookups. If your gf having tinder doesn't make you think she's looking for other dicks you're just naive.

Have you tried cocaine for that ego boost?

Love your wife and stick with her, friendo. You're not an asshole. If you're looking for that ego boost you'll probably end up cheating. And believe me, you don't want to go that way. That's a horrible road to get off happy. Not even speaking about what happens if she finds out.
Ego boost is temporary, this love you have can be forever. You'll be glad you sticked with her in the end.