Hello everyone!
I come with a strange advice request.
I'm a man who has had little success with women, but this things are changing and I'm having the oportunity to have a lot more sex.
The thing is... I feel I'm bad at it, since I didn't actually have much practice since then.
Where I live hookers are legal, I've fucked some of them, but it's not the same, obviously, I don't want to give them pleasure, I want to get pleasure from them.
Now I'm with women I wish to give all the pleasure I can. I don't really know how though. The hooker I asked about how good I was said "I like things a bit harder", and that's the general notion I've been getting from women, they want it hard.
Anyway... I'm looking for tips on this. General tips really, but you can keep out the oral sex ones since that's the only thing I actually get many compliments for... You can send me some sites to enter, books to read, articles, or just write your ideas on how I can improve my sexual abilities.
Thanks a lot!
>>18038393
Reading articles and learning techniques will only take you so far. The more important thing is tailoring your technique to the girl you're with. Communicating with her is the most important part.
>>18038393
Get into shape. That's the biggest key to sex.
The only universal rule to good sex is communication. Every girl is different.
>Most want it rough
This is ENTIRELY dependent on the individuals preferences, and often their experience level. If you're going at it with a virgin, holy fucking shit please do not try to cram it in there and fuck her brains out unless she specifically asks for it.
Rule of thumb too is usually it's better to start gentile and work up, since nothing turns a girl off more than shit being too rough from the get go and has to power through while being somewhat injured (for lack of a better word) from it.
Whoever this girl is you're gonna throw down with, ask her how she wants it. If she's too shy to tell you, then 1 it won't be your fault if you're bad, and 2, start as vanilla as possible and slowly watch her reactions as you work up with different stuff.
And of course, do whatever you can to make her cum, but if she says something to you that it's hard for her to cum with other people or she can't or whatever, don't take it to heart. Just make sure she's having fun regardless.
Finally, remember that the majority of women either experience difficulty cumming from penetration alone, or don't at all. So put effort into your foreplay. Don't jump to penetration until she's practically begging you to. And work that clit while penetrating her, unless she asks you not to.
Foreplay is key. Get her in the mood, make her beg for more. That increases her chance to orgasm. Play with the clit but don't neglect the rest. Everyone has their spots that get them going. Slap her butt, see if she likes it, trace her body with your fingers. Tickle, lick, pinch every part of her to find out what gets her off.
Suggest new things to try. Learn to dirty talk so she can get off in her head as well.
But most importantly find out what you like. Get to know your own body, play around. Don't be too shy to ask for it. If she's not into it, gracefully accept rejection and move on to something else.
I'm not with a single girl. I'm actually seeing 3 girls right now, none of them is my girlfriend or is attached to me anyhow. One of them even knows about the others. I haven't had sex with any of them yet, but I see it coming soon... Very, very soon.
Thank you all for the responses, still, I'd like to see a few more tips. Specially on techniques.
I know I asked for general tips, but I'm starting to notice that I want more specific stuff.
>>18038406
Yep, starting from vanilla is the idea.
About asking them... I feel that is quite unnatural, that the sex (at least the first time or times) should flow as a non-rehearsed dance. I might be wrong about it too, but I think it's too much pressure put on any of them if I ask before we actually had sex.
Something like 'you are whore i'll fuck' comes to my mind, as if they were to believe I'm thinking that when I ask, which is not true.
>>18038419
Examples of foreplay?...
I used massage last time, I felt I wasn't being very sexual, but since it was a hooker, so what lols...
Tickling? That's a surprise.
>>18038423
Check these out: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQMGbIXQwwbTlIo74G-RFto9O4q2dU7dL
I skipped through them and they seemed like decent advice. They will give you a lot of ideas on what to try for sure. Just start slow, some of that stuff isn't really vanilla.
>>18038440
>https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQMGbIXQwwbTlIo74G-RFto9O4q2dU7dL
Woaaah... A lot of content here!! Thanks.
>>18038423
It seems unnatural, but it's actually not. It's actually the key to healthy sex, but I understand the feeling.
I feel like too much chit chat ruins the moment as well, and I'm one of those shy girls I mentioned. That's why I'm heavily attracted to a man who can read body language. Communication doesn't always have to be strictly verbal, though verbal communication is the most effective with the least chance of miscommunication.
Communication is also constant, you don't have to like, plan out a check list of things to do before hand. It can be as easy as, for example:
While you're fingering her just asking "Is that good?" She might say yes, she might give you direction. I had a dude rubbing my clit once who was just a little too low, he was just grazing the bottom of it but he didn't know. Hell I felt too awkward to bring it up myself, but I was glad he gave me the opportunity by asking right then "That feel good?" So I just said "Try a little higher." then he got that sweet spot.
Just little check ins like that can be pretty sexy dirty talk too.
Dude can be pounding me and whisper in my ear "Yeah you like that?" and I can moan back "Harder".
But yeah, the reason why you start slow and work up is because it will be pretty apparent to you IMMEDIATELY if you're hurting her. She won't sugar coat it, she'll coil back pretty fast on reflex. Getting out of her what feels good might be more challenging if she's shy.
TL;DR: Theres more types of communication than verbal communication, pay attention to body language. Communication takes place the whole way through, not just before. Check in on her every now and then, ask if it feels good. If she lies that's her own fault, you can't get better if she won't tell the truth and that is 100% nothing to do with you or your problem at all. She'll direct you if you ask her how its going if she needs something different.
>>18038481
Yea, those checks are a real great advice too... Strange or not, I'm actually a public speaker... I teach body language, mostly, so I understand that a lot...
Why haven't I ever thought of using it to improve my sex performance ?????? lol
>>18038488
Hah man body language is the language of choice when it comes to sex. It's a dying skill too, so trust me, if you're good at it, that will be a huge plus to many women.
>>18038436
Tickling doesn't feel good everywhere but it might be nice on the nipples or other areas once she's aroused. Just stop and do something else when you don't get the desired response ;)
Examples of foreplay ...
Kiss passionately, feel her up through her clothes, guide her hands on your body. Tell her how you have been looking forward to this, how excited you are, how hot she is, ... Remove clothes once they get in the way too much. Try to work around them for a while. I really don't recommend stripping naked and saying "Let's do this then!" ;)
Take care of her entire body, squeeze and caress, so she is aroused before you even get to her clit or fingering her. Think of going straight for the pussy as desperately rubbing a limp dick in hopes of getting it up. While this might eventually work it's better do try other kinds of stimulation first.
Once she's in the mood a bit, you can go in for oral or more clit stimulation / fingering until she's ready. Bonus points if you can get her off before you go in.
Try different kinds of dirty talk during foreplay. Depending on the woman you might want to skip some of the suggestions you find online.
Also foreplay doesn't have to be in bed. If things get boring, get up, maybe go to a different room.
And of course talking about the sex you have is important. There's the concept of aftercare in the BDSM community where right after play you make sure everything went well and rules may be revised for next time. Try a light version of that for yourself.
>>18038444
You're welcome :)