Hi /adv/ I'm a 20 year old guy, who's a medstudent.

Not being interested in the overly-subjective bullshit is probably a good part of your personality. Try not to conflate that with being stoic and awkward.

>>18035614
What's wrong with stoic, and how not to be awkward?

>>18035630
stoic is an okay default, but it's not good to be stuck in and pretend you chose it

that girl wanted you to be playful obviously. I don't know if you've had a sexual relationship or any strong attachment recently, but it is an inherent playful thing (a healthy one is, anyway)

>how to not be awkward
Everyone is a little bit awkward, and people who are smooth all the time are either a.) very gifted, or b.) totally faking.

But you don't want to be super awkward, right? That can usually be fixed with experience and personal development (not in those goddamend self-help books, I mean in reality)

>>18035585
Do you often rearange the cups and plates in your dishwasher?

Can you have cups on the lower shelf?

>>18035652
>that girl wanted you to be playful obviously
I know now, I'm just usually oblivious to that.
>That can usually be fixed with experience and personal development

How do I achieve that?

>>18035667
>how to get into social situations
just surrender to them. let the guard down and stop being stoic.

even if you are autistic (which you're probably not) that's still the answer

>>18035666
No, I don't rearrange them. Why?

>>18035673
I don't think I'm autistic, just an idiot who stresses out from social situations. So you say personal development comes naturally from social exposure?

>>18035677
Arranging and collecting stuff is a sympthom of asbergers syndrome.

>>18035682
yeah

>>18035685
I like being ordered, but I'm not a big collector of anything.

>>18035677
Also, fiddling stuff and with your hands.

>>18035682
>>18035687
and being stressed does not make a person an idiot, it just makes them more likely to call themselves an idiot, for some reason

>>18035690
I had a friend with asbergers, he had an entire bookshelf with external harddrives filled with anime.

>>18035687
Ok, how can I overcome the initial super awkwardness? I feel like no matter how hard I force myself into social situations, I'm never really part of it.

what the fuck is aspergers really is it goddamned intangible? is it like fucking MBTI? you know there's people out there suffering from autism, right?

>>18035695
>>18035707
How can I be less stressed out and judgemental of myself?

>>18035707
you just have to suffer it
obviously there are intelligent solutions like

>I don't think I'm dressed well enough
then dress well

but imagine you have done everything you can and are still feeling awkward. in that case you would just have to suffer it. you can try shifting your mind around until its in a less uncomfortable position, but in my experience that is not an efficient way to address mental/emotional problems

>>18035699
I don't have anything similar. The only thing on my bookshelf is literature and the books I study from.

>>18035714
u r just killing me now

>>18035715
>try shifting your mind around until its in a less uncomfortable position, but in my experience that is not an efficient way to address mental/emotional problems
This is what I always do, and I end up being closed up and ignorant of what's going on around me.
>>18035720
Not just you.... sorry, but I really have a hard time not closing up from stress.

>>18035731
yeah bruh exactly

just do it

maybe you haven't found the situation you are ready enough to take on yet. this is a complete hypothetical but imagine a support group for socially awkward people. you would basically be expected to be awkward. start out with easymode things like that and...don't expect much of the people there in terms of strength of character

>>18035739
>support group for socially awkward people
That would make it even worse. If I'm expected to be awkward, I'll be even more awkward and closed up.

>>18035585
I know this exact feel
I studied a lot too back in high school. almost an addiction spending time on it chasing the satisfaction when my test scores are good

now at college even when girls actually want me and try to flirt I don't see the point and they lose interest
Theres gotta be a way out of this

>>18035761
you're clearly over-intellectualizing it

we can be your support but not your therapist. you're just going to have to white knuckle it and socialize, or get a therapist so she can prepare you to white knuckle it and socialize

>>18035768
I tried this, forcing myself into social situations.
I don't want you to be my therapist, just some ideas on how to socialize, and actually be there, not just being closed up or freaking out.

>>18035791
that's just so specific. I'd have to be a voice inside your head to coach you through a situation like that. not even the TV trope of guy in the bushes with walky-talky would work, because he can't read the friend's mind - that's why the trope is funny? I don't remember.

>>18035813
LOL
Why's that specific?
I just don't have too much experience dealing with people, and when I do, I tend to hurt them without noticing.

Just be friends with the awkward and socially retarded. Engineering, medicine, comp sci, all of them have a bunch of smart autists that don't know how to deal well with feelings and social situations. And also a bunch of people who like to throw facts, historical shit and smartass jokes all the time. Just b urself bro, but be a more talkative self, tell the world what's truly going through your head. It doesn't matters if it's cringy or awkward, them getting to know you it's the ONLY way to find people who you like and can share a laughter with. Everyone has a sense of humour, and you can always try to find people with similar ones, but you gotta open up first.

For example, my friends are all the social retards from high school who didn't understand that nazi and masturbation jokes 24/7 turned girls way, for example. The social retards can either isolate themselves or communicate together. And we can only get to know eachother a bit and develop that shit into friendship if we're willing to let a part of ourselves be known to others.

Just look at this fucking place, if you're here in the first place it's because there's something here that you can't get with your average 3D communication, and that is talking with the interesting autists that you'll never get to know irl and that are able to speak here what's truly going through their head.

>>18035823
I'm saying I would really like to help you, but these are very specific
>situations
>thoughts
>cultures
>scenarios
>people
>places

and I'm not in there listening to your
>thoughts
seeing your
>actions
seeing
>their actions
using omnipotence and magical powers to tell you a short /adv/ post that is gonna cure years of not being socialized

but all I can say is that not doing anything about it is gonna make it worse, so go out and socialize

the cure to not being socialize is to socialize

I have to go now. good luck