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>26 years old
>Good job but is exhausting
>Still live with parents
>On meds and going back to therapy
>Haven't had sex since I was raped 5 years ago
>The girl I love has a boyfriend
>Don't care about anything anymore
I have this fantasy of killing myself in a year and the only thing I have to live for is finishing my last album. I've been actively trying to get better for years but it hasn't. I honestly feel like I wanna die so I can hurt the people around me...so they'll feel pain. Also the return to nothingness is soothing.
I don't know why I wrote this. Just throwing it in the void of the internet. Call me an idiot or something.
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>>18033906
>i was raped 5 years ago
care to expand on this?
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>>18033917
Me and a few friends drove up to Chicago from Ohio to crash at my friend's uncle's house the night before we went to a concert. The first night we were there we were all drinking together and the uncle got way too drunk because I think his meds fuck with drinking.
I went to bed in a sleeping bag in a room with no one around. He raped me but I pretended to be asleep. I eventually ran out of the house and down the street. My other friends heard the commotion and we bolted out of there.
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>>18033951
>I pretended to be asleep
why would you do that?
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>>18033951
also you should just save money and try to get a less pushing job.
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>>18033955
Cause I was in denial. All I could think is this isn't happening and I'm not here. I'm kind of a mentally weak person. He was a big dude too, was afraid he'd kill me.
>>18033959
Everyone says this and I've saved a lot of money. I want to buy a house. I'm trying to get on the dayshift where I work so it'll be less demanding. There's a line though.
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maek bleek af music condemning everyone who wronged you as a suicide note. Collab. w/ local artists as much as possible inc. cover art. kys in a public setting. You are welcome.
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>>18033976
It's gonna be catchy and dark. Definitely took more inspiration from Smashing Pumpkins and Silversun Pickups.
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>>18034035
You're not "broken", you fucking normie faggot.
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Does life get any better or nah? I wanna know from broken people.
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>>18034044
Hah! I knew someone would get mad at that. Gotta be a /r9k/ forever alone neet to be broken right?
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>>18033906
At least you have a job, I'm a year younger and don't have one. I couldn't live my dream and likely never will, and never been truly in love with anyone. I think maybe you really do need therapy if you have a history with meds, but c'mon anon don't just assume your life will end at 26 unless you take it yourself.
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>>18034231
Oh yeah, I never had sex either.
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